personal statement essay writing service

Personal Statement Editing Service: Elevate Your Story Fast, Affordable, Professional

Personal statement editing transforms your personal statement into a compelling narrative. Use this service to ensure that your personal statement reflects your unique qualities and aspirations. Let us help you stand out with a polished, persuasive personal statement.

Try before you buy.

Get an instant quote. Services are available 24/7.

• Personal Statement Editing Service: Elevate Your Story

Expert Personal Statement Editing Service

Your personal statement is a pivotal component of your college or graduate school application. It's your opportunity to make a compelling case for admission by showcasing your unique skills, experiences, and aspirations. However, crafting a standout personal statement essay requires time and skill. That's where our Personal Statement Editing service can help.

At Scribendi, we understand the significance of a well-written personal statement. Our team of experienced editors is dedicated to enhancing your writing and ensuring that your personal statement is error-free, clear, and impactful. Get more than just grammar and punctuation; get Structural Editing and constructive feedback to strengthen your content. Let's craft a college admissions or graduate school application that will help you shine.

Our editors are well-versed in what admissions committees and officers seek in a personal statement. They can help you avoid common pitfalls and guide you in effectively communicating your skills and aspirations. Don't let the pressure of writing a personal statement hold you back! Our editing service is here to help you present the best version of yourself to the admissions committee. Whether you need personal statement proofreading or a comprehensive editing service, we're your partner in this crucial phase of your academic journey.

Need Personal Statement Editing?

Your personal statement is your voice in the competitive world of college admissions and graduate school applications. Crafting a compelling and error-free personal statement essay is essential to make a lasting impression. If you find yourself struggling to perfect your statement, our Personal Statement Editing service is here to provide expert assistance .

We recognize the significance of a well-polished personal statement. Our experienced editors are dedicated to helping you achieve the best possible version of your essay. Whether you need assistance with personal statement proofreading or comprehensive personal statement editing , our team is here to ensure your writing is clear, coherent, and impactful.

We understand that the college admissions and graduate school admissions committees are looking for more than just good grammar. They want to get to know you through your writing and understand your unique skills and aspirations. Don't let the pressure of creating a perfect personal statement overwhelm you. Trust our editing service to guide you toward presenting your best self to the admissions officers. Try personal statement editing to take the first step toward success in your academic journey.

What will you receive with Personal Statement Editing? 

• An edited document in which misspellings, grammar errors, and typos have been corrected
• Changes and suggestions to help improve clarity, flow, structure, and readability
• Tracked revisions so that you can see and review all the changes that have been made
• In-depth critical commentary on your personal statement
• A short summary of the work that has been done and any major concerns

What types of documents can you use Personal Statement Editing for?

• Personal statements
• Other admissions documents

Rest assured, whether you're entrusting your confidential personal statement or engaging our expertise in personal statement editing services, your document's privacy is our top concern. We uphold the strictest confidentiality for your work. 

All uploads and downloads to our secure server are encrypted , and our robust privacy policies are in place to protect your personal statement, academic research, and personal data. Assistance for your personal statement editing needs is just a click away. 

We are dedicated to ensuring the highest level of security and quality for your academic work. Get an instant quote for your personal statement editing below and place your order now .

  Get an Instant Quote and Place Your Order

Personal Statement Editing Services FAQ

What do i write in a personal statement.

When it comes to the question of what to write in a personal statement for college or graduate school admissions, personal statement editing can help you craft a compelling essay. A personal statement is a critical component of your college or university application. You should write about your personal experiences, skills, and aspirations. Don't simply list achievements; provide real examples that show who you are and why you're an ideal fit. Personal statement editing services can be of great help in refining your statement, making sure it stands out to admissions committees. Take your time to write a personal statement that truly reflects your unique qualities and ambitions, and seek professional assistance when needed.

How do I start my personal statement?

When beginning your personal statement for college or graduate school admissions, personal statement editing can provide invaluable guidance. To start, focus on a compelling opening that grabs the admissions committee's attention. Share a personal anecdote, relevant skill, or life experience that connects to your educational and career goals. Show, don't just tell, who you are through vivid examples. Personal statement editing services can help refine and structure your introduction, ensuring that it makes a memorable impression on admissions officers. Don't rush the process; take the time to craft an engaging and authentic personal statement.

Why does my personal statement need editing? 

Personal statement editing is essential because it can significantly enhance the quality and impact of your personal statement. A well-crafted personal statement can make a difference in college or graduate school admissions. Editing refines your essay, helping you avoid common pitfalls and ensuring your writing is clear, concise, and error-free. It helps you communicate your skills, experiences, and aspirations effectively, making your personal statement more appealing to admissions committees. Experienced editors can provide constructive feedback and suggestions, ultimately helping you create a personal statement that stands out and resonates with admissions officers.

What are the advantages of hiring an editor to revise my personal statement?

Opting for personal statement editing services offers several advantages in crafting a compelling personal statement. Editors bring a trained eye to your essay, ensuring it's clear, well-structured, and free of errors. They can help you avoid common pitfalls, making your personal statement more effective at capturing admissions committees' attention. With their expertise, editors also provide valuable feedback on your content and writing style, helping you convey your skills, experiences, and aspirations more persuasively.

This assistance can be especially crucial when you're short on time or feel unsure about how to write a personal statement that resonates with admissions officers. Overall, hiring an editor empowers you to submit a polished and memorable personal statement that bolsters your college or graduate school application.

The opinions expressed are solely those of Find My Profession. Click to see our Advertising Disclosure.

5 Best Personal Statement Writing Services (2024)

Find the best professional personal statement writing services. Compare writer costs and turnaround times of the top personal statement writers.

2024 Winners: Add your badge to your marketing materials.

A personal statement, or statement of purpose, contains fundamental information about you.

Although it’s sometimes referred to as an admissions essay, a personal statement is different from an essay written on a general topic to assess your writing skills.

A personal statement lets the hiring manager or selection board read about who you are, what you excel at, and what your educational and professional goals are.

It’s perfectly fine to get some help with this.

Hire a professional personal statement writing service!

Of course, there are plenty of personal statement writing services out there and it can be difficult to know which one to choose.

We have done the heavy lifting for you and devoted countless hours to research.

Finally, we have come up with a list of the best personal statement writing services.

Best Personal Statement Writers

Best writers for personal statements.

How We Choose Winners

Each of the personal statement writing services below was reviewed by a Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW) taking into consideration the following:

The cost of the service compared to other personal statement writers.

The speed at which the personal statement is completed.

Overall experience, awards, and certifications of the writers.

The design, style, and overall look of the personal statement.

Guarantees, number of edits, and reviews.

This list was hand-curated to serve all industries, professions, and career levels. Whether you are in finance, sales, HR, engineering, or any other role, these companies will provide excellent personal statement writing services.

Average Personal Statement Cost

Personal statement writer reviews.

Find My Profession

Find My Profession is much more than a personal statement writing service. They are a global career services company whose work has been featured on sites like Forbes, Inc., Zety, Fast Company, and more.

With their team of elite resume writers who have experience in over 85 industries and professions, they can match you with a writer who understands your unique background and experience. Additionally, every resume comes with a one-on-one phone consultation with your writer.

Find My Profession has an impressive track record of successfully landing clients jobs at top companies such as Apple, Amazon, EA, Oracle, GM, Facebook, DoJ, Morgan Stanley, and Tesla. 

Their 900+ 5-star reviews speak to their commitment to delivering high-quality service. They also offer a 60-day interview guarantee and ensure that every resume created is Applicant Tracking System (ATS) compatible and highly customized to meet your specific needs.

You will work one-on-one with an elite and certified resume writer based in the U.S. Find My Profession is committed to ensuring that every client is 100% satisfied with their resume, which is why they do not limit the number of edits or time spent working with your writer.

Find My Profession is a virtual company allowing them to provide services worldwide. While they do not have a physical office for in-person visits, they ensure direct communication with your writer through email and phone calls.

4.9/5 based on 521 Trustpilot reviews 4.9/5 based on 319 Sitejabber reviews 4.9/5 based on 151 Google reviews 5/5 based on 52 Facebook reviews

3 – 5 business days with resume (can expedite to 2 business days)

$199 – $299 (as an add-on to a resume package)

(831) 888-0967 or [email protected]

Check out some of our 5-star reviews:

Resume & linkedin profile, terrific experience, exceptional resume, findmyprofession helped me, excellent job, 10/10 service & experience, highly recommend, incredible work.

Channel Resume

Channel Resume is a Vancouver-based executive resume writing service founded by Milton Kiang. Milton is a writing expert with 15+ years of experience. He single-handedly manages the company. To fulfill orders, he helps identify your strengths and uses them to craft you an effective personal statement.

Milton is a member of the Professional Association of Resume Writers & Career Coaches, National Resume Writers’ Association, and Professional Writers Association of Canada. He has amassed enough training and experience to help meet his clients’ unique writing needs.

This company appears to be run by just one person. This could be a problem, as it may hinder the possibility for diverse input and even lead to a slow turnaround time.

5/5 based on 29 Google reviews

(604) 251-3203 or [email protected]

Need Help With Your Job Search?

Did you know there are companies you can hire to help with your job search? Whether you need resume help or want someone to apply to jobs for you, we’ve reviewed the 20 best agencies to help you find a job.

The Resume Center

The Resume Center is a virtual personal statement writing service with 24+ years of service delivery. The company was founded by James Innes and has been rendering writing services worldwide since 1998. It is made up of over 100 writers, who have written a combined 36,300+ papers since its inception.

The company sports over 100 qualified writers. So, there’d definitely be one who can attend to your unique needs. In addition, details of their personal statement writers can be found on their website.

The company’s website doesn’t explain what the differences in their personal statement packages are. You’ll need to contact the service for more information.

4.7/5 based on 43 Google reviews 2.5/5 based on 3 Yelp reviews

$120 – $275

(551) 356-8010 or [email protected]

Personal Statement Service

Personal Statement Service is based in the United Kingdom, but renders services globally. In fact, they have a physical office in the United States. The company is made up of graduates from the UK’s top universities, and their services support undergraduates, post-graduates, Master’s and PhD applicants.

Depending on your package,  you get one-on-one video consultations with your personal statement writer. These video consultations allow you to discuss the requirements of your personal statement.

If you purchase their standard Gold package, you only have a one-time review option. Also, the details of their personal statement writers are nowhere to be found on their site.

4.7/5 based on 12 Facebook reviews

1 – 5 business days (can expedite to 12 hours)

(646) 568-9741 or [email protected]

Residency Statement

Residency Statement is a personal statement service created by Dr. Musa in 2008. The company specializes in helping medical students craft personal statements for their medical residency application. Since its inception, they have crafted personal statements for over 20,000 medical residency applicants.

You can contact your writer personally through an established communication platform. They do not only craft compelling personal statements, but they also brush up your existing ones.

They only write personal statements for medical statements who are applying for medical residency. Also, details of their personal statement writers are not available on their website.

4/5 based on 9 TrustPilot reviews

7 – 10 business days (can expedite to 3 – 5 days)

(858) 221-8590 or [email protected]

Recommended Career Advice For You

8 Best Salary Negotiation Coaching Services in 2024

How to Turn Job Duties Into Accomplishments

Benefits of a Multigenerational Workforce & How to Foster Inclusion

Personal statement writing service

Leave your college tasks to us, assuring peace of mind and more free time.

EssayService is truly universal!

Only writers passing our quality approval tests can assist you.

“Amazing writer! Delivered the work ahead of time. Great communication. If I wanted any changes in the document, I asked her and she immediately worked on it and delivered a great job!”

“This writer communicates well, works fast, and delivers great papers. I definitely will be hiring her in the future.”

“Easy to communicate with, quick responses, finishes days before the deadline you set for him, the essays come out looking better than great. Paul will exceed your expectations and definitely the guy to go to.”

“Very quick and thorough. Followed instructions with no revisions necessary. Sarah is a great writer and highly recommended!”

“great assignment! thank you so much for your prompt work!”

“Great work and fast ! will hire again”

Easily order our personal statement writing service in 3-steps.

Day or night, weekday or weekend, we're ready to assist.

Get quality work done fast, even within three hours.

With samples of your past work, we chameleon your writing style seamlessly.

Top-tier US and Canadian writers assisting your academic needs.

Covering all subjects, our writers can ease your workload.

Receive guaranteed original work with a detailed plagiarism report.

Your information stays locked with our 256-bit SSL encryption.

High-quality support at a student-friendly price of $11.4/page.

Customer feedback that'll make your academic woes disappear!

The writer has followed my specific instructions and was able to provide the paper earlier than the deadline. The writer is very communicative and answers all your concerns. Highly recommend.

Goes above and beyond. He completed the assignment ahead of schedule and the work was exceptional.

The best writer here, always on time. Very proactive to read your assigment first for corrections, if they are needed he do that inmediatelly. If you want to have good grades or you are in trouble and need to pass a class this is your writer.

Impressive writer. Paid attention to detail, was very conscientious and timely, and adequately integrated theory and empirical evidence in his writing.

This writer continues to provide quality work, he is thorough, diligent, and communicates timely. Hire him, I have hired him again and will continue to only use him. Best writer on this site in my experience.

Frank has been the MOST helpful writer on this site and you would be making an incredible mistake if you do NOT hire him. His prices have been the MOST reasonable, and he communicates timely and effectively. I appreciate you, Frank. If I could give you 20 stars I would. Folks, Frank is your guy trust me. I tried maybe 5 others and Frank is THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am beyond eager to write this review for this writer. I will shout to the rooftops ENCOURAGING you to hire him. I have used other writers but NONE have delivered such awesome work as this writer and NONE of their prices can compare to his. He does not try to "break the bank" and he works hard. He is simply,THE BEST HERE!!!

There were too many writers to have to sort through, would be nice if I was able to sort by how many medical/health science paper they have written.

SO far everything seems to be professional, this is my first time using this kind of online service to get an assignment done.

This service is very easy and efficient. When you are overloaded with tasks, you're up to your ears in paperwork, this is the best help!

Easy to use the website, have people bid for your paper which is cool, cause you can pick who you want, you get options

Being able to see the finished product prior to making the full payment is what made me choose this site. Great idea!

I'm new to this but so far the communication with the tutors has been awesome.

Super well thought out, I wish there was more information on the delivery of the work/essay when finished, but overall I'm happy.

Even though I wrote a similar paper once last year, I already forgot how to do this analysis and understand that it will take too much time to reread the theory and then write the paper based on it. Thanks for making my life easier!

Yesterday I felt so sick that I was lying in bed doing nothing. I was not able to read, analyze, or say, write something. So I turned on the PC ordered the paper on this website. Thanks a lot!

I am very happy with the services they provide, excellent work. In a timely manner, I received 100 for my essay. Since I am always busy working they come through when I do not have time to finish.

The reaction paper was written, bearing in mind all the necessary structural elements of the essay. I am happy the writer used quite complex vocabulary, so the essays sounds persuasive.

I am very happy with the services they provide, excellent work. Since I am always busy working they come through when I do not have time to finish.

Great company to work with they get the job done one time and correct.

I would like to thank your marketing assignment expert for editing my assignment so well. It’s completely error-free now.

So caring about what I expect, offered revision in case it's not what i needed. Everything was good

It was my first time using such a service. Essay was good and nicely formatted.

Now I received my paper and you know, I’m amazed! I recommend them.

They are really good in services as their name in the market. Superb, outstanding and marvelous

Your experts helped me to better understand the task I couldn't complete for a long time! Thanks!

Submit your order with relevant requirements, sources, and deadline to our personal statement writer services.

After your request, receive bids from adept writers. Select your favorite based on their bios and stats!

Upon completion, get a notification. Download your order, review it, and once happy, finalize payment to the writer.

Rise above the academic competition. Let our skilled personal statement writer craft your unique narrative.

Turn tough tasks into a breeze with our personal statement writing service

Ever whispered into the night, "Someone, please write my personal statement ?" Well, we heard you loud and clear. Over the past decade, we've been pairing students like you with skilled personal experts, turning academic challenges into a walk in the park.

Joining forces with us is as easy as 1-2-3: place your order, select your expert, and sit back. Our professional personal statement writer will take care of the rest while you enjoy an extra episode of your favorite series.

Our writer lineup is like an academic dream team. Every member has gone through a tough selection process to ensure that your work is handled by a pro. No matter which writer you choose, you can expect a statement that's not just good but outstanding.

Worried about a challenging task? Don’t be. We tackle every academic field or discipline with ease, turning academic mountain peaks into manageable molehills.

So, why not give us a whirl? With our team of professional experts, your assignments will feel like a breeze. It's like having a personal assistant who not only does the heavy lifting but also cracks the occasional joke to lighten the mood.

At the end of the day, we’re not just a service, we’re your academic ally. Together, we can make your academic journey less of a slog and more of a victory lap. So, put your feet up and let's turn that academic frown upside down!

Your ultimate writing support

Shattering boundaries left and right, we have earned our reputation as the premier personal statement writing services across the US and Canada. Our reach stretches far and wide, ensuring no student, no matter where they reside, is left unsupported.

Credit where it’s due - our super-responsive customer support team is the backbone of our operation. They're always ready to spring into action to assist you. They are the human face of our service, the friendly voice at the end of the line ready to guide you, solve any issues, and answer any queries. It’s thanks to their dedication that we've been able to give our customers an unparalleled experience.

But wait, there's more! Our personal statement writing is spearheaded by a squad of academic superheroes committed to making your writing shine brighter than a supernova. They ensure a smooth process, working hand-in-hand with our support team to deliver top-notch results.

So, are you ready to take the leap? Choosing us means transforming your academic journey from a strenuous uphill climb into a smooth cruise down Easy Street. We’re not just offering services, we're extending a partnership. Together, let's strap in and make this academic ride not only successful but also memorable!

Trade academic panic for peace with our all-in-one study lifesavers

Academic success, they say, is like climbing a mountain. But who says you have to do it alone? Our personal statement writer service is your dependable sherpa, guiding you through the winding paths of university applications with ease and expertise.

Writing about yourself, they say, can feel like trying to explain a joke - once you start, the magic's half gone. That's where our personal statement writers come in. Think of them as translators, turning your life's complexities into a compelling narrative, just as elegantly as you'd share a funny story with friends.

At our personal statement writing services, we don't just weave words beautifully; we strategize. We make sure your statement sings the right tunes that resonate with your dream universities. It's like crafting the perfect mixtape for a long drive, you know it's going to make the journey enjoyable!



But what if you're already on the highway, cruising through your postgraduate journey? We've got a solution for that, too. Our service works like your favorite co-driver, making sure you don't lose your way when the academic roads get a bit tough.

So, don't stress about the blank canvas of your personal statement or the daunting mountain of academic papers. Let us help you paint a masterpiece and conquer those academic summits. After all, climbing mountains is easier (and more fun!) with a sherpa, right?

Top-notch personal statements without breaking the bank

The journey to your dream university doesn't have to be paved with financial potholes. Starting at just $11.4 per page, our services are as wallet-friendly as your favorite discount store. Our goal is to save both your time and money, like a superhero with budget-friendly powers. With our sliding-scale discounts, you'll find that slow and steady doesn't just win the race but also saves you a pretty penny, the longer your deadline, the smaller the dent in your budget.

Got a hefty order? Even better! Think of it as a trip to your favorite buffet. The more you order, the more value you get. Our professional personal statement writers deliver services that make the grade without making you break your piggy bank. But we're not just about great prices; we're about transparency. Use our handy price calculator to see the magic numbers upfront. No hidden costs, no unpleasant surprises.

What's more, we throw in a handful of sweeteners - free revisions, a free originality report, and even a refund policy that's more reliable than your morning alarm clock. With us, every student gets to harness the expertise of seasoned writers for better grades with fewer all-nighters.

And if you're in the market for a full package, why not buy a personal statement tailored to your story? After all, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, or in your case, a well-crafted personal statement. So, why wait? Let's make your academic journey less about stress and more about success.

Future-proof your success with our personal statement writer service

When you're shopping for a personal statement writing service, you're not just buying a bundle of words. You're investing in a vision of your future, and that deserves nothing but the best.

We understand this at our core, and that's why we take hiring our personal statement writers as seriously as you would choosing your university. We know you don’t need just "writers" - you need word wizards, seasoned storytellers, and experts in crafting compelling narratives.

Our recruitment process isn't a walk in the park; it's more like a marathon with hurdles. We start with open-ended questions to test their creativity. Then, we conduct interviews to ensure their people skills match their writing chops. We dive deep into their educational backgrounds because a degree isn’t just a piece of paper to us; it's a seal of expertise. Lastly, we challenge them with quality-check writing trials, just to be sure we're picking the cream of the crop.

With the best master wordsmiths in our team, we aim to deliver not just personal statements but peace of mind. No matter the complexity of your academic level, we've got you covered.

Step into academic success with our personal statement writing services

Feel like you're trapped in a never-ending spiral of workload? We've all been there. Fortunately, we've got the perfect solution to turn that spiral into a staircase to success. Enter our squad of personal statement experts, a team of experts so talented they turn words into magic, ideas into reality.

These aren't just any wordsmiths we've picked off the streets. Oh no, these are the creme de la creme of the writing world, sought out and handpicked for their skills. Each personal statement writer is a native English speaker, armed with a higher education diploma, and boasting years of experience writing stunning personal statements. They're the wizards of words and the masters of academic tone.

But our service isn't just about having the most talented writers in the field. It's about providing an all-inclusive support system for students like you. Worried about the cost? Don't be! Our pricing model is student-friendly. The more you require from us, the less we charge. What about those early birds who like to get ahead of their deadlines? We've got special discounts just for you.

To top it off, we're here 24/7, providing a constant source of support throughout your academic journey. With our help, you can relax, knowing your assignments are in safe hands. So why wait? Allow our professional personal statement writer to transform your academic woes into wins.

Choose Your Test

• Search Blogs By Category
• College Admissions
• AP and IB Exams
• GPA and Coursework

Getting College Essay Help: Important Do's and Don’ts

College Essays

If you grow up to be a professional writer, everything you write will first go through an editor before being published. This is because the process of writing is really a process of re-writing —of rethinking and reexamining your work, usually with the help of someone else. So what does this mean for your student writing? And in particular, what does it mean for very important, but nonprofessional writing like your college essay? Should you ask your parents to look at your essay? Pay for an essay service?

If you are wondering what kind of help you can, and should, get with your personal statement, you've come to the right place! In this article, I'll talk about what kind of writing help is useful, ethical, and even expected for your college admission essay . I'll also point out who would make a good editor, what the differences between editing and proofreading are, what to expect from a good editor, and how to spot and stay away from a bad one.

Table of Contents

What Kind of Help for Your Essay Can You Get?

What's Good Editing?

What should an editor do for you, what kind of editing should you avoid, proofreading, what's good proofreading, what kind of proofreading should you avoid.

What Do Colleges Think Of You Getting Help With Your Essay?

Who Can/Should Help You?

Advice for editors.

Should You Pay Money For Essay Editing?

The Bottom Line

What's next, what kind of help with your essay can you get.

Rather than talking in general terms about "help," let's first clarify the two different ways that someone else can improve your writing . There is editing, which is the more intensive kind of assistance that you can use throughout the whole process. And then there's proofreading, which is the last step of really polishing your final product.

Let me go into some more detail about editing and proofreading, and then explain how good editors and proofreaders can help you."

Editing is helping the author (in this case, you) go from a rough draft to a finished work . Editing is the process of asking questions about what you're saying, how you're saying it, and how you're organizing your ideas. But not all editing is good editing . In fact, it's very easy for an editor to cross the line from supportive to overbearing and over-involved.

Ability to clarify assignments. A good editor is usually a good writer, and certainly has to be a good reader. For example, in this case, a good editor should make sure you understand the actual essay prompt you're supposed to be answering.

Open-endedness. Good editing is all about asking questions about your ideas and work, but without providing answers. It's about letting you stick to your story and message, and doesn't alter your point of view.

Think of an editor as a great travel guide. It can show you the many different places your trip could take you. It should explain any parts of the trip that could derail your trip or confuse the traveler. But it never dictates your path, never forces you to go somewhere you don't want to go, and never ignores your interests so that the trip no longer seems like it's your own. So what should good editors do?

Help Brainstorm Topics

Sometimes it's easier to bounce thoughts off of someone else. This doesn't mean that your editor gets to come up with ideas, but they can certainly respond to the various topic options you've come up with. This way, you're less likely to write about the most boring of your ideas, or to write about something that isn't actually important to you.

If you're wondering how to come up with options for your editor to consider, check out our guide to brainstorming topics for your college essay .

Help Revise Your Drafts

Here, your editor can't upset the delicate balance of not intervening too much or too little. It's tricky, but a great way to think about it is to remember: editing is about asking questions, not giving answers .

Revision questions should point out:

• Places where more detail or more description would help the reader connect with your essay
• Places where structure and logic don't flow, losing the reader's attention
• Places where there aren't transitions between paragraphs, confusing the reader
• Moments where your narrative or the arguments you're making are unclear

But pointing to potential problems is not the same as actually rewriting—editors let authors fix the problems themselves.

Bad editing is usually very heavy-handed editing. Instead of helping you find your best voice and ideas, a bad editor changes your writing into their own vision.

You may be dealing with a bad editor if they:

• Add material (examples, descriptions) that doesn't come from you
• Use a thesaurus to make your college essay sound "more mature"
• Add meaning or insight to the essay that doesn't come from you
• Tell you what to say and how to say it
• Write sentences, phrases, and paragraphs for you
• Change your voice in the essay so it no longer sounds like it was written by a teenager

Colleges can tell the difference between a 17-year-old's writing and a 50-year-old's writing. Not only that, they have access to your SAT or ACT Writing section, so they can compare your essay to something else you wrote. Writing that's a little more polished is great and expected. But a totally different voice and style will raise questions.

Where's the Line Between Helpful Editing and Unethical Over-Editing?

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether your college essay editor is doing the right thing. Here are some guidelines for staying on the ethical side of the line.

• An editor should say that the opening paragraph is kind of boring, and explain what exactly is making it drag. But it's overstepping for an editor to tell you exactly how to change it.
• An editor should point out where your prose is unclear or vague. But it's completely inappropriate for the editor to rewrite that section of your essay.
• An editor should let you know that a section is light on detail or description. But giving you similes and metaphors to beef up that description is a no-go.

Proofreading (also called copy-editing) is checking for errors in the last draft of a written work. It happens at the end of the process and is meant as the final polishing touch. Proofreading is meticulous and detail-oriented, focusing on small corrections. It sands off all the surface rough spots that could alienate the reader.

Because proofreading is usually concerned with making fixes on the word or sentence level, this is the only process where someone else can actually add to or take away things from your essay . This is because what they are adding or taking away tends to be one or two misplaced letters.

Laser focus. Proofreading is all about the tiny details, so the ability to really concentrate on finding small slip-ups is a must.

Excellent grammar and spelling skills. Proofreaders need to dot every "i" and cross every "t." Good proofreaders should correct spelling, punctuation, capitalization, and grammar. They should put foreign words in italics and surround quotations with quotation marks. They should check that you used the correct college's name, and that you adhered to any formatting requirements (name and date at the top of the page, uniform font and size, uniform spacing).

Limited interference. A proofreader needs to make sure that you followed any word limits. But if cuts need to be made to shorten the essay, that's your job and not the proofreader's.

A bad proofreader either tries to turn into an editor, or just lacks the skills and knowledge necessary to do the job.

Some signs that you're working with a bad proofreader are:

• If they suggest making major changes to the final draft of your essay. Proofreading happens when editing is already finished.
• If they aren't particularly good at spelling, or don't know grammar, or aren't detail-oriented enough to find someone else's small mistakes.
• If they start swapping out your words for fancier-sounding synonyms, or changing the voice and sound of your essay in other ways. A proofreader is there to check for errors, not to take the 17-year-old out of your writing.

What Do Colleges Think of Your Getting Help With Your Essay?

Admissions officers agree: light editing and proofreading are good—even required ! But they also want to make sure you're the one doing the work on your essay. They want essays with stories, voice, and themes that come from you. They want to see work that reflects your actual writing ability, and that focuses on what you find important.

On the Importance of Editing

Get feedback. Have a fresh pair of eyes give you some feedback. Don't allow someone else to rewrite your essay, but do take advantage of others' edits and opinions when they seem helpful. ( Bates College )

Read your essay aloud to someone. Reading the essay out loud offers a chance to hear how your essay sounds outside your head. This exercise reveals flaws in the essay's flow, highlights grammatical errors and helps you ensure that you are communicating the exact message you intended. ( Dickinson College )

On the Value of Proofreading

Share your essays with at least one or two people who know you well—such as a parent, teacher, counselor, or friend—and ask for feedback. Remember that you ultimately have control over your essays, and your essays should retain your own voice, but others may be able to catch mistakes that you missed and help suggest areas to cut if you are over the word limit. ( Yale University )

Proofread and then ask someone else to proofread for you. Although we want substance, we also want to be able to see that you can write a paper for our professors and avoid careless mistakes that would drive them crazy. ( Oberlin College )

On Watching Out for Too Much Outside Influence

Limit the number of people who review your essay. Too much input usually means your voice is lost in the writing style. ( Carleton College )

Ask for input (but not too much). Your parents, friends, guidance counselors, coaches, and teachers are great people to bounce ideas off of for your essay. They know how unique and spectacular you are, and they can help you decide how to articulate it. Keep in mind, however, that a 45-year-old lawyer writes quite differently from an 18-year-old student, so if your dad ends up writing the bulk of your essay, we're probably going to notice. ( Vanderbilt University )

Now let's talk about some potential people to approach for your college essay editing and proofreading needs. It's best to start close to home and slowly expand outward. Not only are your family and friends more invested in your success than strangers, but they also have a better handle on your interests and personality. This knowledge is key for judging whether your essay is expressing your true self.

Parents or Close Relatives

Your family may be full of potentially excellent editors! Parents are deeply committed to your well-being, and family members know you and your life well enough to offer details or incidents that can be included in your essay. On the other hand, the rewriting process necessarily involves criticism, which is sometimes hard to hear from someone very close to you.

A parent or close family member is a great choice for an editor if you can answer "yes" to the following questions. Is your parent or close relative a good writer or reader? Do you have a relationship where editing your essay won't create conflict? Are you able to constructively listen to criticism and suggestion from the parent?

One suggestion for defusing face-to-face discussions is to try working on the essay over email. Send your parent a draft, have them write you back some comments, and then you can pick which of their suggestions you want to use and which to discard.

Teachers or Tutors

A humanities teacher that you have a good relationship with is a great choice. I am purposefully saying humanities, and not just English, because teachers of Philosophy, History, Anthropology, and any other classes where you do a lot of writing, are all used to reviewing student work.

Moreover, any teacher or tutor that has been working with you for some time, knows you very well and can vet the essay to make sure it "sounds like you."

If your teacher or tutor has some experience with what college essays are supposed to be like, ask them to be your editor. If not, then ask whether they have time to proofread your final draft.

Guidance or College Counselor at Your School

The best thing about asking your counselor to edit your work is that this is their job. This means that they have a very good sense of what colleges are looking for in an application essay.

At the same time, school counselors tend to have relationships with admissions officers in many colleges, which again gives them insight into what works and which college is focused on what aspect of the application.

Unfortunately, in many schools the guidance counselor tends to be way overextended. If your ratio is 300 students to 1 college counselor, you're unlikely to get that person's undivided attention and focus. It is still useful to ask them for general advice about your potential topics, but don't expect them to be able to stay with your essay from first draft to final version.

Friends, Siblings, or Classmates

Although they most likely don't have much experience with what colleges are hoping to see, your peers are excellent sources for checking that your essay is you .

Friends and siblings are perfect for the read-aloud edit. Read your essay to them so they can listen for words and phrases that are stilted, pompous, or phrases that just don't sound like you.

You can even trade essays and give helpful advice on each other's work.

If your editor hasn't worked with college admissions essays very much, no worries! Any astute and attentive reader can still greatly help with your process. But, as in all things, beginners do better with some preparation.

First, your editor should read our advice about how to write a college essay introduction , how to spot and fix a bad college essay , and get a sense of what other students have written by going through some admissions essays that worked .

Then, as they read your essay, they can work through the following series of questions that will help them to guide you.

Introduction Questions

• Is the first sentence a killer opening line? Why or why not?
• Does the introduction hook the reader? Does it have a colorful, detailed, and interesting narrative? Or does it propose a compelling or surprising idea?
• Can you feel the author's voice in the introduction, or is the tone dry, dull, or overly formal? Show the places where the voice comes through.

Essay Body Questions

• Does the essay have a through-line? Is it built around a central argument, thought, idea, or focus? Can you put this idea into your own words?
• How is the essay organized? By logical progression? Chronologically? Do you feel order when you read it, or are there moments where you are confused or lose the thread of the essay?
• Does the essay have both narratives about the author's life and explanations and insight into what these stories reveal about the author's character, personality, goals, or dreams? If not, which is missing?
• Does the essay flow? Are there smooth transitions/clever links between paragraphs? Between the narrative and moments of insight?

Reader Response Questions

• Does the writer's personality come through? Do we know what the speaker cares about? Do we get a sense of "who he or she is"?
• Where did you feel most connected to the essay? Which parts of the essay gave you a "you are there" sensation by invoking your senses? What moments could you picture in your head well?
• Where are the details and examples vague and not specific enough?
• Did you get an "a-ha!" feeling anywhere in the essay? Is there a moment of insight that connected all the dots for you? Is there a good reveal or "twist" anywhere in the essay?
• What are the strengths of this essay? What needs the most improvement?

Should You Pay Money for Essay Editing?

One alternative to asking someone you know to help you with your college essay is the paid editor route. There are two different ways to pay for essay help: a private essay coach or a less personal editing service , like the many proliferating on the internet.

My advice is to think of these options as a last resort rather than your go-to first choice. I'll first go through the reasons why. Then, if you do decide to go with a paid editor, I'll help you decide between a coach and a service.

When to Consider a Paid Editor

In general, I think hiring someone to work on your essay makes a lot of sense if none of the people I discussed above are a possibility for you.

If you can't ask your parents. For example, if your parents aren't good writers, or if English isn't their first language. Or if you think getting your parents to help is going create unnecessary extra conflict in your relationship with them (applying to college is stressful as it is!)

If you can't ask your teacher or tutor. Maybe you don't have a trusted teacher or tutor that has time to look over your essay with focus. Or, for instance, your favorite humanities teacher has very limited experience with college essays and so won't know what admissions officers want to see.

If you can't ask your guidance counselor. This could be because your guidance counselor is way overwhelmed with other students.

If you can't share your essay with those who know you. It might be that your essay is on a very personal topic that you're unwilling to share with parents, teachers, or peers. Just make sure it doesn't fall into one of the bad-idea topics in our article on bad college essays .

If the cost isn't a consideration. Many of these services are quite expensive, and private coaches even more so. If you have finite resources, I'd say that hiring an SAT or ACT tutor (whether it's PrepScholar or someone else) is better way to spend your money . This is because there's no guarantee that a slightly better essay will sufficiently elevate the rest of your application, but a significantly higher SAT score will definitely raise your applicant profile much more.

Should You Hire an Essay Coach?

On the plus side, essay coaches have read dozens or even hundreds of college essays, so they have experience with the format. Also, because you'll be working closely with a specific person, it's more personal than sending your essay to a service, which will know even less about you.

But, on the minus side, you'll still be bouncing ideas off of someone who doesn't know that much about you . In general, if you can adequately get the help from someone you know, there is no advantage to paying someone to help you.

If you do decide to hire a coach, ask your school counselor, or older students that have used the service for recommendations. If you can't afford the coach's fees, ask whether they can work on a sliding scale —many do. And finally, beware those who guarantee admission to your school of choice—essay coaches don't have any special magic that can back up those promises.

Should You Send Your Essay to a Service?

On the plus side, essay editing services provide a similar product to essay coaches, and they cost significantly less . If you have some assurance that you'll be working with a good editor, the lack of face-to-face interaction won't prevent great results.

On the minus side, however, it can be difficult to gauge the quality of the service before working with them . If they are churning through many application essays without getting to know the students they are helping, you could end up with an over-edited essay that sounds just like everyone else's. In the worst case scenario, an unscrupulous service could send you back a plagiarized essay.

Getting recommendations from friends or a school counselor for reputable services is key to avoiding heavy-handed editing that writes essays for you or does too much to change your essay. Including a badly-edited essay like this in your application could cause problems if there are inconsistencies. For example, in interviews it might be clear you didn't write the essay, or the skill of the essay might not be reflected in your schoolwork and test scores.

Should You Buy an Essay Written by Someone Else?

Let me elaborate. There are super sketchy places on the internet where you can simply buy a pre-written essay. Don't do this!

For one thing, you'll be lying on an official, signed document. All college applications make you sign a statement saying something like this:

I certify that all information submitted in the admission process—including the application, the personal essay, any supplements, and any other supporting materials—is my own work, factually true, and honestly presented... I understand that I may be subject to a range of possible disciplinary actions, including admission revocation, expulsion, or revocation of course credit, grades, and degree, should the information I have certified be false. (From the Common Application )

For another thing, if your academic record doesn't match the essay's quality, the admissions officer will start thinking your whole application is riddled with lies.

Admission officers have full access to your writing portion of the SAT or ACT so that they can compare work that was done in proctored conditions with that done at home. They can tell if these were written by different people. Not only that, but there are now a number of search engines that faculty and admission officers can use to see if an essay contains strings of words that have appeared in other essays—you have no guarantee that the essay you bought wasn't also bought by 50 other students.

• You should get college essay help with both editing and proofreading
• A good editor will ask questions about your idea, logic, and structure, and will point out places where clarity is needed
• A good editor will absolutely not answer these questions, give you their own ideas, or write the essay or parts of the essay for you
• A good proofreader will find typos and check your formatting
• All of them agree that getting light editing and proofreading is necessary
• Parents, teachers, guidance or college counselor, and peers or siblings
• If you can't ask any of those, you can pay for college essay help, but watch out for services or coaches who over-edit you work
• Don't buy a pre-written essay! Colleges can tell, and it'll make your whole application sound false.

Ready to start working on your essay? Check out our explanation of the point of the personal essay and the role it plays on your applications and then explore our step-by-step guide to writing a great college essay .

Using the Common Application for your college applications? We have an excellent guide to the Common App essay prompts and useful advice on how to pick the Common App prompt that's right for you . Wondering how other people tackled these prompts? Then work through our roundup of over 130 real college essay examples published by colleges .

Stressed about whether to take the SAT again before submitting your application? Let us help you decide how many times to take this test . If you choose to go for it, we have the ultimate guide to studying for the SAT to give you the ins and outs of the best ways to study.

Trending Now

How to Get Into Harvard and the Ivy League

How to Get a Perfect 4.0 GPA

How to Write an Amazing College Essay

What Exactly Are Colleges Looking For?

ACT vs. SAT: Which Test Should You Take?

When should you take the SAT or ACT?

Get Your Free

Find Your Target SAT Score

Free Complete Official SAT Practice Tests

How to Get a Perfect SAT Score, by an Expert Full Scorer

Score 800 on SAT Math

Score 800 on SAT Reading and Writing

How to Improve Your Low SAT Score

Score 600 on SAT Math

Score 600 on SAT Reading and Writing

Find Your Target ACT Score

Complete Official Free ACT Practice Tests

How to Get a Perfect ACT Score, by a 36 Full Scorer

Get a 36 on ACT English

Get a 36 on ACT Math

Get a 36 on ACT Reading

Get a 36 on ACT Science

How to Improve Your Low ACT Score

Get a 24 on ACT English

Get a 24 on ACT Math

Get a 24 on ACT Reading

Get a 24 on ACT Science

Stay Informed

Get the latest articles and test prep tips!

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

Ask a Question Below

Have any questions about this article or other topics? Ask below and we'll reply!

• Affiliate Program

• UNITED STATES
• 台灣 (TAIWAN)
• TÜRKIYE (TURKEY)
• Academic Editing Services
• - Research Paper
• - Journal Manuscript
• - Dissertation
• - College & University Assignments
• Admissions Editing Services
• - Application Essay
• - Personal Statement
• - Recommendation Letter
• - Cover Letter
• - CV/Resume
• Business Editing Services
• - Business Documents
• - Report & Brochure
• - Website & Blog
• Writer Editing Services
• - Script & Screenplay
• Our Editors
• Client Reviews
• Academic Editing Pricing
• Admissions Editing Pricing
• University Assignments Editing Pricing
• Partner Discount
• Editing & Proofreading Prices
• Wordvice Points
• Plagiarism Checker
• APA Citation Generator
• MLA Citation Generator
• Chicago Citation Generator
• Vancouver Citation Generator
• - APA Style
• - MLA Style
• - Chicago Style
• - Vancouver Style
• Writing & Editing Guide
• Academic Resources
• Admissions Resources
• Personal Statement Editing Services
• Upload Personal Statement
• Get a Quote

The Personal Statement Editing Process

Upload Your Personal Statement

Submit your statement and include some background information, such as the school you are planning to apply to and personal statement instructions. We will then match you with one of our admissions editing experts.

Get Expert Revision

You can stay in contact and communicate with your editor throughout the editing process. Give them specific instructions or ask them any questions you might have.

Receive Your Edited Statement

Your admissions editor will not only revise your text but also give you personal feedback, suggestions on how to take your statement to the next level, and tips that will help you with your essay writing in the future.

Calculate Your Price

• Choose your editing service type.
• To calculate the word count of a specific selection of the document, highlight the text and then click [Word Count] .

Journal Manuscripts, Research Papers, Dissertations/Theses, Articles, Abstracts

Application Essays, Scholarship Essays, CVs/Resumes, Recommendation Letters

Extensive feedback, editing checklist, and review letter for admissions documents

High School & University Assignments, Term Papers, College Essays, Class Reports

Proposals, Reports, Press Releases, Marketing Materials, Blog & Website Content

Books, Scripts/Screenplays, Personal Essays & Opinion Pieces, Personal Blogs

Wordvice’s Personal Statement Editors

Features of our personal statement editing services, english proofreading.

Personal statement proofreading includes:

• Correction of syntax and grammar errors
• Revising of spelling, punctuation, and mechanics issues
• Word reduction if necessary

Wordvice guarantees 100% accuracy in grammar and spelling—your edited statement will be completely free of language errors.

Enhancement of English Expressions

Our editors enhance the style, readability, and tone of your personal statement and make it more natural by:

• Correcting word choice mistakes and rephrasing for flow
• Rephrasing to enhance clarity and conciseness
• Providing feedback and comments to explain revisions

Our personal statement editing focuses on helping you get accepted into the school of your choice by showcasing your qualifications, experience, and academic goals in a clear and concise manner.

Premium Personal Statement Editing

Personal Statement Editing includes a premium service that goes beyond quality editing and proofreading and includes the following additional features:

• Editor experience with college and university applications
• A review letter with detailed feedback and suggestions
• Re-editing for up to 20% of your personal statement

Our Premium Admissions Essay Editing Service is ideal for SOPs, personal statements, and other application essays that require several drafts before submission.

Editing Services for College & Graduate Personal Statements

Reviews of our personal statement editing services.

Personal Statement Editing Services Reviews

• Prianka DeSouza "Admissions Essay Improved" I was very confused with the differences between the different parts of my college application, especially how much personal information to include. But my editor was so helpful and explained to me where I could include more about myself and even gave me some examples for writing these sections. I’ll probably use this service again for graduate school.
• David Wilson "Thank you for editing my SOP" Thank you very much for your editing of my SOP. I really appreciate your comments on my writing. Your editing made my SOP much more clear and convincing, and your advice helped me think about what I really want to tell the admissions committee. Now I am confident with my application.

Samples of Our Personal Statement Editing Services

Personal Statement

Personal editing sample.

Personal Statement Editing Services FAQ

What are your personal statement editing rates, how long do your admissions editing services take, do your editors have experience with admissions to top-tier schools, can you also edit my application essay, get your instant quote.

*Apply ACADEMIC50US for a 50% discount (up to $50).

Sign in to Wordvice

Remember Me

What are your chances of acceptance?

Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance.

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

Academic Editing and Proofreading

• Tips to Self-Edit Your Dissertation
• Guide to Essay Editing: Methods, Tips, & Examples
• Journal Article Proofreading: Process, Cost, & Checklist
• The A–Z of Dissertation Editing: Standard Rates & Involved Steps
• Research Paper Editing | Guide to a Perfect Research Paper
• Dissertation Proofreading | Definition & Standard Rates
• Thesis Proofreading | Definition, Importance & Standard Pricing
• Research Paper Proofreading | Definition, Significance & Standard Rates
• Essay Proofreading | Options, Cost & Checklist
• Top 10 Paper Editing Services of 2024 (Costs & Features)
• Top 10 Essay Checkers in 2024 (Free & Paid)
• Top 10 AI Proofreaders to Perfect Your Writing in 2024
• Top 10 English Correctors to Perfect Your Text in 2024
• Top 10 Essay Editing Services of 2024
• 10 Advanced AI Text Editors to Transform Writing in 2024

Academic Research

• Research Paper Outline: Templates & Examples
• How to Write a Research Paper: A Step-by-Step Guide
• How to Write a Lab Report: Examples from Academic Editors
• Research Methodology Guide: Writing Tips, Types, & Examples
• The 10 Best Essential Resources for Academic Research
• 100+ Useful ChatGPT Prompts for Thesis Writing in 2024
• Best ChatGPT Prompts for Academic Writing (100+ Prompts!)
• Sampling Methods Guide: Types, Strategies, and Examples
• Independent vs. Dependent Variables | Meaning & Examples

Academic Writing & Publishing

• Difference Between Paper Editing and Peer Review
• What are the different types of peer review?
• How to deal with rejection from a journal?
• Editing and Proofreading Academic Papers: A Short Guide
• How to Carry Out Secondary Research
• The Results Section of a Dissertation
• Checklist: Is my Article Ready for Submitting to Journals?
• Types of Research Articles to Boost Your Research Profile
• 8 Types of Peer Review Processes You Should Know
• The Ethics of Academic Research
• How does LaTeX based proofreading work?
• How to Improve Your Scientific Writing: A Short Guide
• Chicago Title, Cover Page & Body | Paper Format Guidelines
• How to Write a Thesis Statement: Examples & Tips
• Chicago Style Citation: Quick Guide & Examples
• The A-Z Of Publishing Your Article in A Journal
• What is Journal Article Editing? 3 Reasons You Need It
• 5 Powerful Personal Statement Examples (Template Included)
• Complete Guide to MLA Format (9th Edition)
• How to Cite a Book in APA Style | Format & Examples
• How to Start a Research Paper | Step-by-step Guide
• APA Citations Made Easy with Our Concise Guide for 2024
• A Step-by-Step Guide to APA Formatting Style (7th Edition)
• Top 10 Online Dissertation Editing Services of 2024
• Academic Writing in 2024: 5 Key Dos & Don’ts + Examples
• What Are the Standard Book Sizes for Publishing Your Book?
• MLA Works Cited Page: Quick Tips & Examples
• 2024’s Top 10 Thesis Statement Generators (Free Included!)
• Top 10 Title Page Generators for Students in 2024
• What Is an Open Access Journal? 10 Myths Busted!
• Primary vs. Secondary Sources: Definition, Types & Examples
• How To Write a College Admissions Essay That Stands Out
• How to Write a Dissertation & Thesis Conclusion (+ Examples)
• APA Journal Citation: 7 Types, In-Text Rules, & Examples
• What Is Predatory Publishing and How to Avoid It!
• What Is Plagiarism? Meaning, Types & Examples
• How to Write a Strong Dissertation & Thesis Introduction
• How to Cite a Book in MLA Format (9th Edition)
• How to Cite a Website in MLA Format | 9th Edition Rules
• 10 Best AI Conclusion Generators (Features & Pricing)
• Top 10 Academic Editing Services of 2024 [with Pricing]
• Additional Resources
• Plagiarism: How to avoid it in your thesis?
• Final Submission Checklist | Dissertation & Thesis
• 7 Useful MS Word Formatting Tips for Dissertation Writing
• How to Write a MEAL Paragraph: Writing Plan Explained in Detail
• Em Dash vs. En Dash vs. Hyphen: When to Use Which
• The 10 Best Citation Generators in 2024 | Free & Paid Plans!
• 2024’s Top 10 Self-Help Books for Better Living
• Citation and Referencing
• Citing References: APA, MLA, and Chicago
• How to Cite Sources in the MLA Format
• MLA Citation Examples: Cite Essays, Websites, Movies & More
• Citations and References: What Are They and Why They Matter
• APA Headings & Subheadings | Formatting Guidelines & Examples
• Formatting an APA Reference Page | Template & Examples
• Research Paper Format: APA, MLA, & Chicago Style
• How to Create an MLA Title Page | Format, Steps, & Examples
• How to Create an MLA Header | Format Guidelines & Examples
• MLA Annotated Bibliography | Guidelines and Examples
• APA Website Citation (7th Edition) Guide | Format & Examples
• APA Citation Examples: The Bible, TED Talk, PPT & More
• APA Header Format: 5 Steps & Running Head Examples
• APA Title Page Format Simplified | Examples + Free Template
• How to Write an Abstract in MLA Format: Tips & Examples
• 10 Best Free Plagiarism Checkers of 2024 [100% Free Tools]
• 5 Reasons to Cite Your Sources Properly | Avoid Plagiarism!
• Dissertation Writing Guide
• Writing a Dissertation Proposal
• The Acknowledgments Section of a Dissertation
• The Table of Contents Page of a Dissertation
• The Introduction Chapter of a Dissertation
• The Literature Review of a Dissertation
• The Only Dissertation Toolkit You’ll Ever Need!
• 5 Thesis Writing Tips for Master Procrastinators
• How to Write a Dissertation | 5 Tips from Academic Editors
• The 5 Things to Look for in a Dissertation Editing Service
• Top 10 Dissertation Editing & Proofreading Services
• Why is it important to add references to your thesis?
• Thesis Editing | Definition, Scope & Standard Rates
• Expert Formatting Tips on MS Word for Dissertations
• A 7-Step Guide on How to Choose a Dissertation Topic
• 350 Best Dissertation Topic Ideas for All Streams in 2024
• A Guide on How to Write an Abstract for a Research Paper
• Dissertation Defense: What to Expect and How to Prepare
• Creating a Dissertation Title Page (Examples & Templates)
• Essay Writing Guide
• Essential Research Tips for Essay Writing
• What Is a Mind Map? Free Mind Map Templates & Examples
• How to Write an Essay Outline: 5 Examples & Free Template
• How to Write an Essay Header: MLA and APA Essay Headers
• What Is an Essay? Structure, Parts, and Types
• How to Write an Essay in 8 Simple Steps (Examples Included)
• 8 Types of Essays | Quick Summary with Examples
• Expository Essays | Step-by-Step Manual with Examples
• Narrative Essay | Step-by-Step Guide with Examples
• How to Write an Argumentative Essay (Examples Included)
• Guide to a Perfect Descriptive Essay [Examples & Outline Included]
• How to Start an Essay: 4 Introduction Paragraph Examples
• How to Write a Conclusion for an Essay (Examples Included!)

How to Write an Impactful Personal Statement (Examples Included)

• Literary Analysis Essay: 5 Steps to a Perfect Assignment
• Compare and Contrast Essay | Quick Guide with Examples
• Top 10 Essay Writing Tools in 2024 | Plan, Write, Get Feedback
• Top AI Essay Writers in 2024: 10 Must-Haves
• 100 Best College Essay Topics & How to Pick the Perfect One!
• College Essay Format: Tips, Examples, and Free Template
• Structure of an Essay: 5 Tips to Write an Outstanding Essay

Still have questions? Leave a comment

Add Comment

Checklist: Dissertation Proposal

Enter your email id to get the downloadable right in your inbox!

Examples: Edited Papers

Need editing and proofreading services.

• Tags: Academic Writing , College Admission , Essay

A personal statement stands out from other educational documents in that it’s intended to be personal, as the name suggests. It offers the admissions committee a glimpse of your personality and not just your abilities and accomplishments. 

A personal statement requires just the right amount of vulnerability, accompanied by passion and enthusiasm. But first, you need to know what is a personal statement. Let’s take a look.

What is a personal statement?

A personal statement is a personal essay required by selection committees for jobs, scholarships, or universities. It is a summary of your accomplishments, interests, experiences, and goals.  

A personal statement is often confused with a statement of purpose, but these are completely different documents. 

A statement of purpose highlights your career path, academic and professional achievements, and motivations for choosing a particular field of study in a much more formal manner. 

A personal statement, on the other hand, emphasizes both academic achievements and personal aspects. 

An effective personal statement answers questions like:

What are my strengths and weaknesses?

What are my talents and accomplishments?

Why am I applying to the school of my choice?

What are the experiences that piqued my interest in my chosen field of study?

What are the special aspects of the school I’m applying to?

How to write a personal statement

Similar to most writing assignments, breaking down a personal statement into smaller parts can make the writing process much easier. A personal statement follows the standard format of the introduction, body, and conclusion, but you need not write them in that order. 

We recommend writing the introduction at the end, as it’s the most challenging part and requires a higher level of creativity. Let’s get into the nitty-gritty about how to write a personal statement for grad school or for college:

1. Craft an attractive hook or introduction.

Starting your introduction with your name is the biggest mistake you can make. The admissions committee already has access to your personal information and academic credentials and is looking to gain deeper insights into your personality, interests, and motivations. 

To make a strong impression, it’s better to begin with what motivated you to study your chosen field or why you’re interested in studying at a particular university. Let’s look at an example:

One summer while running around in my backyard, I fell down and scraped my knee. My grandfather, being an established doctor, carefully bandaged my wound. His calm, prompt, and comforting demeanor left a lasting impression on me. It sparked my interest in medicine.

2. Elaborate on your accomplishments, relevant skills, and experience.

A personal statement should be authentic to you and should help you stand out amongst your peers. You have to sell yourself to the admissions committee and let them know your skills, accomplishments, and talents without sounding conceited. 

A good way to do this is to avoid mentioning academic achievements which are already mentioned in your transcripts. Instead, mention qualities and insights you’ve gained over the years with the help of real-life experiences. For example:

Leading my school’s basketball team taught me the values of teamwork, coordination, agreeableness, and leadership.  

You can also mention insights gained from a job or internship, a paper or a journal that had an impact on you or a course or session you conducted that taught you something new. 

Working as a nurse in the children’s hospital was an eye-opening experience for me. It not only made me a kinder, more compassionate person but also taught me practical skills such as suturing a wound. 

3. Draft a logical conclusion.

Make sure to tie the conclusion with the body of the personal statement to create a story arc. The concluding statements should carry information about how your chosen field of study or the facilities provided by the universities will be useful to you in your professional career.

Make sure to use emphatic and expressive language to make your personal statement more impactful. For example:

Gaining hands-on experience with the state-of-the-art operating machine provided by your medical department will give me a head-start in my chosen field of neuroscience. 

4. Edit and proofread.

Just like it is with any other important document, proofreading your personal statement is crucial. It ensures that your statement is free of errors and presents you in the best possible light.

You have a few options for proofreading your personal statement. One option is to proofread it yourself, but it can be difficult to catch all of your own mistakes. Another option is to ask a friend or family member to proofread it for you. They can provide a fresh perspective and may catch errors that you missed.

If you want to take your proofreading to the next level, it’s a good idea to have your work proofread by a professional. A personal statement editing service has the critical eye and experience necessary to catch even the most subtle errors.

Note : Although its content and structure remain the same, the length and complexity of a personal statement depending on its purpose. Personal statements for universities and scholarships are typically longer and more detailed as compared to those required for jobs.

Tips for writing a personal statement

Let’s take a look at the tips and tricks to write a personal statement along with relevant examples:

1. Keep it personal.

Although there are certain rules to be followed when writing a personal statement, it is important not to lose your own voice. The admissions committee wants to get to know you as a person and not just as a student.

2. Avoid unnecessarily complicated language.

Using appropriate technical terms in your field can showcase your expertise and understanding of the subject matter to the admissions committee. But overusing or misusing jargon can confuse, or even put them off.

3. Avoid simply listing achievements and experiences.

While highlighting your achievements and experiences is essential, simply listing them is not enough. It’s important to provide insights into what you’ve learned from these experiences since the admissions committee already has access to your transcripts and wants to know more about your personality.

4. Keep a light, positive tone.

Even when writing about a serious topic such as “How I overcame homelessness”, the tone should be inspirational and insightful.

5. Use action words.

Make use of action words to make your text more conversational and engaging. For instance, instead of writing “I was the captain of the volleyball team and we won many tournaments” you can say “As the volleyball captain, I consistently lead my team to victory”. 

Personal statement example

Let’s better understand how to write an impactful personal statement with the help of an effective personal statement example:

As a child, I always found it difficult to relate to children my age. I was quiet, timid, and very vulnerable. I was 17 when I was first diagnosed with depression. With the help of professionals, I was not only able to function better but was also able to integrate into groups. 

The effects of therapy and medication amazed me. The underrated field of psychology had a powerful impact on me. It helped me understand myself as well as those around me better. This is why, when it came to choosing a field of study, I chose abnormal psychology.

In college, I not only topped my course but also conducted drives and free therapy sessions to help those in need. I also published a paper on the effects of appreciation and criticism on mental health. 

I believe that my experiences with mental illness will give me a unique perspective in the field of abnormal psychology. I believe I’ll be able to provide more effective and practical solutions to patients because of my own struggles. My goal is to make a difference in the lives of others by helping them overcome their struggles and find happiness.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do i start a personal statement, do i put my name on a personal statement, how do i structure my personal statement, what to avoid in a personal statement.

Found this article helpful?

One comment on “ How to Write an Impactful Personal Statement (Examples Included) ”

Good job! You showed me how to write a personal statement in simple tips, I appreciate that

Leave a Comment: Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.

Your vs. You’re: When to Use Your and You’re

Your organization needs a technical editor: here’s why, your guide to the best ebook readers in 2024, writing for the web: 7 expert tips for web content writing.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

Get carefully curated resources about writing, editing, and publishing in the comfort of your inbox.

How to Copyright Your Book?

If you’ve thought about copyrighting your book, you’re on the right path.

© 2024 All rights reserved

• Terms of service
• Privacy policy
• Self Publishing Guide
• Pre-Publishing Steps
• Fiction Writing Tips
• Traditional Publishing
• Academic Writing and Publishing
• Partner with us
• Annual report
• Website content
• Marketing material
• Job Applicant
• Cover letter
• Resource Center
• Case studies

Essay Editing Service

Get accepted at your dream school.

Expert essay editors polish your writing to reflect the work you put into it. Professional college essay editing will:

• Make sure that your essay will get read
• Make sure you'll leave a positive impression
• Make you stand out from your peers

• College Essay Editing & Coaching

Professional editors

Same day delivery, 100% happiness guarantee.

College Essay Editing Services

Our college essay editing package.

The first draft is always the hardest. Work with an admissions essay coach who will give you practical, step-by-step guidance on how to develop your essay and make your story come alive.

Your coach will…

• Read your profile
• Review your essay draft
• Share feedback to help you refine your topic, structure, and voice
• Leave in-text feedback and suggestions
• Proofread for grammar and punctuation
• Give you a roadmap to guide your revisions

We’ll help you show your best traits to college admissions officers and prove that you’re college-ready! With help from our essay coaches, you’ll improve your chances of getting accepted – so what are you waiting for?

Meet Scribbr's essay experts

At Scribbr, you can rest assured that only the best editors will work on your college essay.

All our 800+ editors have passed the challenging Scribbr Academy, which has a passing rate of only 2%.

We handpick your college essay editor on several criteria, including field of study.

Janice holds a PhD in German studies from Duke University. As a former professor, she has helped many students refine their application essays for competitive degree programs and study-abroad programs. Today, she helps students improve their writing skills at Scribbr. In her spare time, when she's not writing or editing, she enjoys working on the small family farm that she owns and operates.

Alexandra earned an Erasmus Mundus MA in cultural narratives and a BA in English from Emory University. As a teacher, editor, and writing coach, she has spent nearly a decade helping students find their voice and express their ideas.

Originally from Maryland, Amy headed west to attend Scripps College in California, where she earned a bachelor's degree in music and gender studies. In 2009, she began working for the admissions office of her alma mater, where she focused on reviewing applications and interviewing prospective students.

“Extremely professional and timely”

Extremely professional and timely! Regis did an amazing job bringing my admission essay to life. It went from overly wordy and unclear to very professional and concise. If I don’t get into my desired program, it won’t be because of my essay.

How it works

Get quality feedback in 4 easy steps, upload your college essay.

Upload your college essay , and tell us a little about yourself. We’ll match you with a certified college essay coach.

Sit back and relax

Your coach will edit your essay and share in-depth advice to help you strengthen your structure, content, and narrative.

Receive your feedback

We’ll send back your fully edited essay. Applying to college is nerve-racking, but at Scribbr you never have to wait for long.

Revise and submit your essay

Thanks to your coach’s feedback, you’ll feel clear about the next steps and confident when you hit “send” on your application.

Scribbr & academic integrity

Scribbr is committed to protecting academic integrity. Our proofreading service, our AI writing tools ( plagiarism checker , paraphrasing tool , grammar checker , summarizer,  Citation Generator ) as well as our free Knowledge Base content are designed to help students produce quality academic papers.

We make every effort to prevent our software from being used for fraudulent or manipulative purposes.

Your questions, answered.

We know that waiting for feedback can be nerve-racking. If you select our faster deadline option, you’ll hear from your personal statement editor in 12 hours or less – including on weekends and holidays. 

We never engage in rewriting or adding text at Scribbr. Our personal statement editors will make grammatical corrections and leave suggestions using Word’s track changes and commenting feature. However, we always make sure that your perspective and voice remain front and center in your essay.

We know that waiting for feedback can be nerve-racking. If you select our faster deadline option, you’ll hear from your college essay coach in 12 hours or less – including on weekends and holidays.

Yes. All our college essay coaches are subject-matter experts and can help you make decisions regarding the content of your essay. Your coach will help you make a strong case for your admission.

Our essay coaches will provide feedback on…

• Whether your topic is appropriate and how to strengthen it
• Whether your essay demonstrates positive traits and authenticity
• Whether the narrative flows smoothly and grabs the reader’s attention
• How to dig deeper and show self-reflection and insight
• What content is missing and should be added
• What content is weak and should be removed
• How to shorten your essay to meet a word count limit

However, we will never…

• Write or rewrite content for you
• Research or fact-check your essay’s content

If you have any questions, feel free to email [email protected].

Yes! Our essay coaches can help you reduce your word count by up to 25%. You can choose to receive this feedback through direct edits or suggestions in comments – just select your choice when you upload your essay.

When you submit your essay to our College Essay Editing & Coaching service, you’ll be asked to indicate what type of content feedback you would like to receive. You can choose from three options:

Dig deep and challenge me

Give me the standard treatment

Tread lightly

Whichever option you choose, you’ll receive in-depth content feedback from your essay coach. However, the type of feedback your essay coach provides may differ, and the option you should choose depends on what outcome you want from the review. You can always elaborate on what type of feedback you want in your note to your essay coach.

Learn more about the three options below.

Choose from three options

If you choose this option, we’ll challenge you to write the best possible essay – no content suggestions are off-limits, including reorienting your topic or reframing your story. Students who choose this option aren’t afraid to go back to the drawing board if it’ll increase their chances of getting accepted. You may have to roll up your sleeves and do some more work on your essay, but your essay will be much stronger because of it.

Select this option if your priority is to have the best possible essay, even if it requires some extra work on your side.

We’ll strike a balance between “dig deep and challenge me” and “tread lightly.” We may suggest changes to your structure and narrative, including removing weak content, elaborating on certain sections, and adding content to strengthen your arguments. You may have to rework sentences and paragraphs, but we won’t suggest major content changes.

With this option, we’ll focus on improving your essay in a way that requires little additional work from you. We’ll provide you with targeted suggestions for how to refine your essay’s structure and narrative, but we will work within your current structure and topic. While you may have to make a few tweaks here and there, we’ll aim to return you a polished draft that’s ready to be submitted to your chosen colleges.

Select this option if you are fairly satisfied with your essay and don’t want to make major changes or if you have limited time to revise.

At Scribbr, we promise to make every customer 100% happy with the service we offer. Our philosophy: Your complaint is always justified – no denial, no doubts.

Our customer support team is here to find the solution that helps you the most, whether that’s a free new edit or a refund for the service.

Get in touch, with real people

We answer your questions quickly and personally from 9:00 to 23:00 CET

• Start live chat
• Email [email protected]
• Call +1 (510) 822-8066
• WhatsApp +31 20 261 6040

Knowledge Base

Finish your college essay with scribbr’s top-rated guides.

College Essay

How to Write a College Essay

What colleges look for in an essay, choosing your college essay topic, college essay format & structure.

Personal statement writing service

Get a personal statement & don't stress about admission

Our well-versed experts will ace your personal statement for just $10.8/page

Trusted by 1,5M+ happy customers

Get first-class help with any school task and lead an anxiety-free life.

Our team of professional personal statement writers

Receive qualified help from our top-notch writers experienced in various academic fields.

Top-5 reasons we're students' favorites

Years of work.

Our native-speaking writers have excelled in crafting all kinds of academic papers, including personal statements.

3-hour paper delivery

Just type "pay someone to write my personal statement," and we'll deliver your paper in mere hours.

Human expertise

We have zero tolerance for plagiarism and only offer papers with high originality scores. Request a free originality report to confirm.

Subjects and essay types

Our essay writers can craft a quality paper on any topic regardless of its complexity or level.

Paper prices from $10.8/page

Our top-notch essays are affordable to all students, with paper prices starting from $10.8 per page.

How to place a "write my personal statement" order

1. provide paper requirements.

Fill out a short form to get started. Remember to share all the instructions for your assignment so your writer can ace your task.

2. Choose your personal statement writer for hire

Explore our vast library of writing professionals. Chat with authors, select the most suitable person for the job, and deposit funds into your balance.

3. Recieve your personal statement

Your completed paper will wait for you in your inbox. Make edits if needed & pay your writer once your instuctions are met.

Feedback from other students

Check out what your peers have to say about our writer's skills & work ethics.

With "write me a personal statement" orders, we guarantee

Round-the-clock support.

If you have any questions for us, just contact our customer support team, which works 24/7 to keep you satisfied.

High originality score

All of our experts craft papers from scratch. Ask for a free originality report just to make sure.

Qualified writers

500+ qualified writers are ready to help you with a paper of any complexity, topic, or level of study.

Data security

We collect only the necessary details to handle your order, and we guarantee the security of your data.

Take advantage of our top-tier writing assistance

Frequently asked questions, who will write my personal statement for me, when i pay someone to write personal statement, will it be unique, what guarantees do your personal statement writing service provide, what if they're any issues with my order, what features do i get with my order, how fast will you write personal statement for me, how do i make a payment for my paper, personal statement writing services, can i pay and use personal statement service.

Applying for university is an overwhelming task. You need to write compelling application papers, adapt to the changes, and make some of the most complicated decisions in your life. And you have to do all this while juggling personal life, hobbies, and, in some cases, work. No wonder many students feel anxious about crafting application papers. It is precisely why learners turn to personal statement writing services.

As the market-leading student helper, we know how to make your academic future brighter. Our mission is to provide high-quality, affordable, and prompt writing assistance to any learner in need. Our in-demand authors can help you with any kind of school task, including crafting an impeccable personal statement. If you're stressed about your application or other academic paper, choose from our vast library of well-versed writers and buy personal statement . And don't worry. If any issues arise, our friendly customer support reps will help you out. We're with you every step of the way.

Why you should get personal statement help online?

You may wonder if EssayPro is the best solution for your academic needs. We have a reputation for being students' favorite helpers for a reason. When you ask for our professional personal statement writer, you get:

• Time to do things you actually want. Writing requires a lot of dedication, skills, and, most of all, time. You have to research a subject meticulously, formulate your thoughts in a compelling form, and then carefully revise the final essay draft. On top of that, students have to complete dozens of such tasks every month. Obviously, this leaves little time for hobbies, meeting with your loved ones, or relaxing. That's where EssayPro can help you out. Delegate your schoolwork to us and free up your schedule.
• Impeccable paper quality. Every paper we deliver reflects our unwavering commitment to superior writing standards. So, let us take care of your task while you relax, knowing it's in expert hands.
• Top-tier assistance with any school task. Whether you require coursework writing help or another set of eyes on your personal statement, our well-versed experts are ready and waiting.

Is your personal statement writing service legal?

For over ten years, we've been a top choice for students, earning the trust of many around the world by helping them manage their academic workload and stress. We're here to support you with your school challenges while staying honest and providing a needed service.

Our services are meant to be a real resource for learning and growth. We're here to help, not do the work for you. Your learning journey is yours to take. We aim to help you learn and succeed through your own effort and hard work, and we don't support any form of dishonesty like plagiarism or cheating. You can trust that our services are completely legal.

Whether you need help understanding a tricky topic, organizing your ideas for an essay, or managing your time better, we're here to give you the support you need. By choosing our service, you're committing to honest learning and personal growth. We believe in the power of education and are here to help you make the most of it while maintaining the highest standards of ethics and integrity.

Why "write my personal statement" tasks are so complex?

A personal statement is what makes you stand out from the other applicants. It is all about showcasing your academic strengths and skills, outlining your educational goals, and highlighting previous experiences. And don't forget that all info has to be presented in a compelling form. Naturally, writing such a statement requires time, dedication, and experience in crafting school applications. So it's no wonder that many students struggle with this task. Some applicants find it hard to properly formulate their thoughts, while others stray off the main topic or get into too much personal detail.

Luckily, EssayPro is here to help you out. With 500+ well-versed experts at your disposal, you can trust us with any task, including your personal statement. Our masterful writers can craft a work-of-art essay tailored to exactly your needs. We will find a perfect way to make your academic accomplishments shine even brighter. So, make a "write a personal statement for me" or " write my discussion board post " request to us and let our skilled pros ace your task.

Top-notch papers from our knowledgeable writers

Are you looking to buy essay online ? Look no further! EssayPro is your one-stop shop for top-quality papers of any kind. We have a team of skilled experts in every subject area working tirelessly to help you with your tasks, regardless of their complexity or level of study.

To maintain our high standards, we only partner with top-notch writers with rich experience in different fields of study. So whether you need a paper on business, literature, chemistry, or marketing, we've got you covered.

Thanks to our convenient writer catalog, you can choose your perfect expert in no time. Browse through experts' profiles, check out customer reviews, and pick the right person to complete your task.

When asking for our help with your paper, you can expect nothing less than pristine quality and a personalized approach. Our native-speaking experts can ace your most intricate school task, delivering it right on time. They do it all while following any instructions and comments you leave them.

So, if you need competent assistance with your personal statement, reach out to us. We're happy to take care of any request you make.

How often do you help students?

Creating an eye-catching personal statement requires much time, skills, and dedication. And not all students are in the position to devote hours of their free time and energy to this mundane task. So, many learners turn to EssayPro to get qualified help with their school assignments. We assist students like you, allowing them to reach their academic goals faster and with less effort.

There are a few reasons why applicants and students seek our help. Some of our customers find the task of writing a personal statement to be overwhelming. They may know what they want to write but still struggle to find a way to make their application stand out. Alternatively, students may not have enough writing or research skills to craft a compelling essay. This is where every personal statement writer on our excellent team can offer expertise.

The other common reason for turning to EssayPro is a lack of time. It's no secret that a student's curriculum is jam-packed with classes, assignments, and after-school activities. And that's not even mentioning having time for work, hobbies, or a personal life. So, why not turn to professional writers and free up your schedule? This way, you can get a top-notch paper in no time while having energy for other activities.

Struggling to meet a deadline? EssayPro can help!

EssayPro is here to help you handle your most urgent tasks. Once you ask for our assistance, our top-notch experts will start working on it immediately. All our experts are skilled professionals with extensive experience in various fields of study. They can handle any academic task you entrust them with and often deliver it before the deadline. This is one of many factors contributing to EssayPro's 98% satisfaction rate.

One reason students choose us is our budget-friendly prices. At EssayPro, you can get your paper done for as low as $10.80 per page. The exact pricing of your order depends on factors like deadline, length, and the paper's topic. Nonetheless, our skilled writers deliver top-notch results without breaking the bank. Contact our friendly customer support representatives, and they'll help you figure out the exact price for your paper.

Another major perk of EssayPro is the high originality of papers. Every personal statement writer complies with a strict plagiarism policy, crafting essays from scratch. We also understand the pressure to deliver a high-quality paper within a tight deadline. Even if you have to submit a personal statement for med school in 3 hours, our medical school personal statement writing service can help you!

• Writing Service
• Editing Service
• OUR PROCESS
• Strengthening Residency Application
• Applying to Multiple Specialties
• Writing a Personal Statement
• Myth of a Guaranteed Match
• TESTIMONIALS
• User Name Password Forgot password? Not registered? Get Started!
• Get Started

Unique Personal Statement

Strong residency application.

The Medical Residency Personal Statement is one of the most important pieces of the ERAS Residency Application puzzle. No other component of the application gives you as much control in shaping the impression you make on Program Directors and others reviewing your application as the Residency Personal Statement.

Personal Statement Writing Service

Complete your Questionnaire and stand-by as a professional Writer crafts a unique, top-quality Personal Statement from scratch based on your responses. No templates are used, and you will communicate directly with your Writer throughout the process.

Are you interested in S-WS?

Personal Statement Editing Service

Our Editing Service will transform your existing Personal Statement into a polished, professional, and persuasive piece of writing. We will refine, reorganize, and develop your ideas into a comprehensive Personal Statement that is sure to impress.

Are you interested in S-ES?

How It Works

The process for both Writing and Editing Services includes:

• 1 Submit your first draft (Editing) or your completed Questionnaire (Writing)
• 2 Your Writer will deliver your first draft or reach out with any clarifications they need to get started (all communication takes place via our In-House Messaging Platform)
• 3 After reviewing your first draft, you can work with your Editor/Writer on any necessary revisions until you are completely satisfied
• 4 Once we get your approval, the statement is finalized and available for export in PDF and Word format

#1 Choice for USMG & IMG Residency Applicants

Who Are Our Writers?

Residency Statement’s dedicated team is comprised of all US-based, professional medical Writers and Editors with extensive academic backgrounds and additional training in Medical Residency Personal Statements as well as the nuances of the residency application process.

Everyone on our team is well-qualified to work on statements for each residency specialty, sub-specialty, and even fellowship training.

Founded by Dr. Musa in 2008, our team has worked with over 20,000 applicants to perfect their Personal Statements. Read our Member Testimonials , and join thousands of satisfied clients today.

Genuine Investment in Your Match Success

• See More Reviews

I used both editing and writing services, and both were amazing experiences with their professionalism and attitude with anything that I needed to change or delete. Everything was a 5 stars experience, and regarding my PS, I showed it to my mentor back home, he said it was one of the best he had ever seen.

I just wanted to say I really appreciate all the work you've done to help me make this personal statement and I'm very happy with the results! You've done an excellent job of being accommodating, understanding, and just generally helpful and it really meant a lot to me; so again, thank you for all of your help.

You have no idea how much this personal statement means to me. It literally brought me to tears reading it. I was red-lining stress last week. But, thanks to you, reading the statement was the turning point in my week, after which things started falling into place. I want to sincerely thank you for the service you provided me. With the personal statement we crafted, I have confidently submitted my application.

This is exactly what I'm looking for! Thank you so much! The residency team will be reading hundreds of these. The application is so short that the only real opportunity I have to connect with the team is through this essay. I'm sure you know that where I go for the next 3 years of my life may weigh heavily on this statement. You described exactly what I'm looking for, thanks so much!

The Value of Personal Statements

The Personal Statement is rated as one of the most important documents included in the ERAS Application by Program Directors when making interview and ranking decisions.

The Medical Residency Personal Statement can boost a weak application, help secure an interview, provide content for residency interview questions, and even assist Program Directors in making final selections for their Rank Order Lists. A well-crafted Personal Statement helps you stand out and leave a lasting impression when contending for limited residency program positions.

Residency Statement will provide you with the Personal Statement you need to apply with confidence.

Tailored Solutions

Every residency candidate has a story to tell. Whether you are an International Medical Graduate (IMG) or US Medical Graduate (USMG), your personality should be the foundation of your Personal Statement. Residency Statement’s Editing and Writing Services are tailored to include your individual strengths and experiences while capturing your unique voice. If you have written a Personal Statement you would like polished and refined, the Editing Service is right for you. If you are struggling to begin writing your Personal Statement or don’t have the time to draft a full statement, you’ll find everything you are looking for in the Writing Service.

Unlimited Resources

Residency Statement does not believe in limitations or restrictions. When it comes to your Personal Statement, the sky is the limit, and we are dedicated to providing the resources you need to succeed. Not only does our professional team have your back through every step of the Writing or Editing process, but you also have the opportunity to receive expert guidance and access numerous free online resources as well.

Member Success

A strong Personal Statement greatly increases your chances for a Match, while a poorly written, weak, or generic statement can be a red flag to residency programs. Ensuring you submit an optimized Personal Statement is critical for residency Match success. We understand how much is riding on your residency application and are committed to supporting your efforts.

What is Residency Statement?

Will programs know i used a writing/editing service, how do i know i will like my statement, why residency statement.

There are so many reasons why you should choose Residency Statement, it’s hard to pick just one!

• We have 14+ years of Medical Residency Personal Statement experience.
• Each Personal Statement showcases the applicant’s personality and specialized knowledge.
• Your content is safe within our secure, encrypted interface.
• Our qualified Editing and Writing team is comprised of adept and highly trained professionals who have read, edited, and written thousands of Medical Residency Personal Statements.
• We have experience helping applicants of all backgrounds: IMGs, USMGs, DOs, and applicants with red flags of every kind (low scores, attempts, gaps, long time since graduation, serious academic divergences, and beyond).

Is Your Personal Statement Ready to Impress?

Many residency applicants believe their Personal Statement is ready to submit. Yet, based on our assessments, very few Personal Statements would meet the standards and expectations set forth by Residency Interview Selection Committees.

• 59% Do not pass Residency Program Standards and need more work
• 38% Do not pass Residency Program Standards and need to be re-written
• 3% Pass Residency Program Standards

Personal statements are an important part of your application to residency programs in the United States. A personal statement is intended to complement your other qualifications by allowing you to express who you are and why you are applying to residency. This is your opportunity to discuss your passion for medicine and/or your chosen specialty, why you want to practice medicine in the United States, important milestones that have happened to you thus far, and your goals for the future. The personal statement should show what kind of person and physician you are and wish to become.

Personal Statements are among the top 5 reasons candidates are invited for interviews.

Your personal statement is an integral part of a successful application. Unless a program’s faculty or residents know you personally through a rotation, your application — including personal statement — presents your entire professional persona to those who extend interview invitations. Competitive programs have hundreds of qualified applicants, so your personal statement must help you stand out.

A well written personal statement can strengthen your application and open opportunities for you. Some application reviewers only skim through the personal statement, while others read it carefully. Since you have no way of knowing how your personal statement will be read or the weight it carries at each program, it is in your best interest to write a high quality personal statement.

Get Started and Join Over 20,000 Applicants

Select a service:

Processing time 7-10 business days

Expedite 3-5 business days at checkout

Processing time 3-5 business days

Expedite 1-2 business days at checkout

Copyright © Residency Statement. All Rights Reserved.

• Our Process
• Testimonials
• Terms & Conditions
• Privacy Policy
• (858) 221-8590

Purdue Online Writing Lab Purdue OWL® College of Liberal Arts

Writing the Personal Statement

Welcome to the Purdue OWL

This page is brought to you by the OWL at Purdue University. When printing this page, you must include the entire legal notice.

Copyright ©1995-2018 by The Writing Lab & The OWL at Purdue and Purdue University. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, reproduced, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed without permission. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our terms and conditions of fair use.

The personal statement, your opportunity to sell yourself in the application process, generally falls into one of two categories:

1. The general, comprehensive personal statement:

This allows you maximum freedom in terms of what you write and is the type of statement often prepared for standard medical or law school application forms.

2. The response to very specific questions:

Often, business and graduate school applications ask specific questions, and your statement should respond specifically to the question being asked. Some business school applications favor multiple essays, typically asking for responses to three or more questions.

Questions to ask yourself before you write:

• What's special, unique, distinctive, and/or impressive about you or your life story?
• What details of your life (personal or family problems, history, people or events that have shaped you or influenced your goals) might help the committee better understand you or help set you apart from other applicants?
• When did you become interested in this field and what have you learned about it (and about yourself) that has further stimulated your interest and reinforced your conviction that you are well suited to this field? What insights have you gained?
• How have you learned about this field—through classes, readings, seminars, work or other experiences, or conversations with people already in the field?
• If you have worked a lot during your college years, what have you learned (leadership or managerial skills, for example), and how has that work contributed to your growth?
• What are your career goals?
• Are there any gaps or discrepancies in your academic record that you should explain (great grades but mediocre LSAT or GRE scores, for example, or a distinct upward pattern to your GPA if it was only average in the beginning)?
• Have you had to overcome any unusual obstacles or hardships (for example, economic, familial, or physical) in your life?
• What personal characteristics (for example, integrity, compassion, and/or persistence) do you possess that would improve your prospects for success in the field or profession? Is there a way to demonstrate or document that you have these characteristics?
• What skills (for example, leadership, communicative, analytical) do you possess?
• Why might you be a stronger candidate for graduate school—and more successful and effective in the profession or field than other applicants?
• What are the most compelling reasons you can give for the admissions committee to be interested in you?

General advice

Answer the questions that are asked

• If you are applying to several schools, you may find questions in each application that are somewhat similar.
• Don't be tempted to use the same statement for all applications. It is important to answer each question being asked, and if slightly different answers are needed, you should write separate statements. In every case, be sure your answer fits the question being asked.

Tell a story

• Think in terms of showing or demonstrating through concrete experience. One of the worst things you can do is to bore the admissions committee. If your statement is fresh, lively, and different, you'll be putting yourself ahead of the pack. If you distinguish yourself through your story, you will make yourself memorable.

Be specific

• Don't, for example, state that you would make an excellent doctor unless you can back it up with specific reasons. Your desire to become a lawyer, engineer, or whatever should be logical, the result of specific experience that is described in your statement. Your application should emerge as the logical conclusion to your story.

Find an angle

• If you're like most people, your life story lacks drama, so figuring out a way to make it interesting becomes the big challenge. Finding an angle or a "hook" is vital.

Concentrate on your opening paragraph

• The lead or opening paragraph is generally the most important. It is here that you grab the reader's attention or lose it. This paragraph becomes the framework for the rest of the statement.

Tell what you know

• The middle section of your essay might detail your interest and experience in your particular field, as well as some of your knowledge of the field. Too many people graduate with little or no knowledge of the nuts and bolts of the profession or field they hope to enter. Be as specific as you can in relating what you know about the field and use the language professionals use in conveying this information. Refer to experiences (work, research, etc.), classes, conversations with people in the field, books you've read, seminars you've attended, or any other source of specific information about the career you want and why you're suited to it. Since you will have to select what you include in your statement, the choices you make are often an indication of your judgment.

Don't include some subjects

• There are certain things best left out of personal statements. For example, references to experiences or accomplishments in high school or earlier are generally not a good idea. Don't mention potentially controversial subjects (for example, controversial religious or political issues).

Do some research, if needed

• If a school wants to know why you're applying to it rather than another school, do some research to find out what sets your choice apart from other universities or programs. If the school setting would provide an important geographical or cultural change for you, this might be a factor to mention.

Write well and correctly

• Be meticulous. Type and proofread your essay very carefully. Many admissions officers say that good written skills and command of correct use of language are important to them as they read these statements. Express yourself clearly and concisely. Adhere to stated word limits.

Avoid clichés

• A medical school applicant who writes that he is good at science and wants to help other people is not exactly expressing an original thought. Stay away from often-repeated or tired statements.

For more information on writing a personal statement, see the personal statement vidcast .

• Our features
• Our Services
• How We Work
• Testimonials

Residency Personal Statement Writing & Editing Services

We know exactly what the admission committee is looking for in applicants. So we can craft a brilliant residency personal statement that stands you out from the crowd.

OUR WAYS TO LEAD YOUR PERSONAL STATEMENT RESIDENCY TO WIN

We craft each statement based on the filled Questionnaire exclusively from scratch. There’re no templates or cliche phrases to make your document only about you.

Your residency application document will be 100% customized to a particular residency program, emphasizing your traits & program's specifics, proving you're the best fit.

Every application document we produce is crafted by our medical experts with strict conformity to the ERAS® application system requirements & standards.

Request as many document revisions as needed until you're totally satisfied with it – we’ll be glad to rework and polish your residency personal statement to perfection.

All of our writing service experts are verified degree holders with years of field expertise, knowledge of admission processes & experience in application docs creation.

Your money will be returned if there're any issues with the text we cannot fix. Just drop a line to our support managers, and get a refund effortlessly without any questions.

WE CAN DO PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR RESIDENCY & ANY OTHER APPLICATION DOCS

Get the most from our writing service & editing support for all types of residency admission documents!

WE HELP WRITING A PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR RESIDENCY & OTHER PROGRAMS

Highest quality writing & editing assistance, no matter where you're going to apply!

WE KNOW HOW TO WRITE A PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR RESIDENCY PROGRAM YOU CHOOSE

Meet our personal statement writers.

“I am always in touch with the support team to get feedback from my clients. And knowing that they were satisfied with my assistance and were successfully accepted warms my heart.”

Not a single imperfection will be left in your document if Lyndsey take it over. Professional writing & editing are her specializations, and perfectionism is her main service trait. Be sure of the best results – she'll not agree to anything less.

“I feel true satisfaction and big joy assisting everyone in finding the right words to tell their unique story that sounds in their voice”

Patrick’s prominent trait is the ability to create masterpieces from a vast range of random facts. He likes to communicate with customers and delve into their unique stories. Many clients often feel like Patrick has known them for years.

"My experience in crafting residency admission documents can serve you well."

You’ll be surprised by the variety of programs Carlos has dealt with. He’s a passionate expert whose smooth transitions and ability to structure large amounts of information give him the highest praise.

“I can assist with all types of admission documents you may require when applying for residency. And your positive feedback about my work is what I love specifically.”

His expertise and talent are remarkable. Having Joe’s writing or editing service is always a winning option.

“Feeling your voice in application documents is what makes them unique and remembered by the committee. And I’m good in such transmissions!”

Angela is not only our leading writing service expert but a respectable member of the admission committee. So she knows how to write a personal statement for residency that wins – the results of her work are always incredible.

“It doesn’t matter to me what residency program you’ve chosen. With my assistance, you’ll be accepted everywhere!”

Jessica is the top pro when it comes to complicated admission cases. She successfully copes with in-demanded program enrollment and helps her clients beat even the highest competition. Having such an expert means victory only, so entrust your document to her, without a doubt!

“I love to pay attention to details and particular facts, covering which allow me to create non-trivial & eye-catching documents.”

Remarkably, it was Conrad who assisted us in compiling the Questionnaires provided for your document personalization. He knows about the perfect structure and the information the committee wants.

CUSTOMERS ABOUT OUR RESIDENCY PERSONAL STATEMENT HELP

How we work.

Place an order using our simple order form, 24/7 online chat, or a callback. Choose the service you need, deadline & volume. Don't forget to attach the filled Questionnaire and other materials, if any (like a CV, previous statements, resume, etc). You can upload them while ordering or add later via your Customer Area. We’ll assign your residency personal statement to your writer only after receiving materials for personalization.

As our service providers are full-time experts, they work only on prepayment. So pay for the writing or editing services securely online. After, you'll get a payment confirmation by email and data for the Customer Area login.

As payment is made, you'll get login data to get into your Customer Area. Your writer will start with the personal statement residency after receiving your materials. In your Customer Area, you can: communicate with the writer (to ask any questions, add more details, brainstorm fresh ideas, and more), request edits, or turn to our support team with any questions.

We work in such a way that when the writing expert finishes with the first draft, you'll get a notification of its readiness and be able to download it to review. After that, feel free to request a residency application doc revisions & add comments. Unlike other services, you can request edits as many times as you need. Whether it's 2 editing circles or 20 – you have 14 days to get them made free of charge.

Get updates on residency application document preparation in the best way for you.

Contact a writing expert directly, upload the text, request revisions & place new orders.

Turn to support managers 24/7 if any questions about your order or our writing services.

Residency personal statement help

Professionals from our residency personal statement writing service believe a personal statement is a decision-maker when it comes to selecting people for a medical residency program or fellowship. Creating this kind of document can be a stern challenge. If you would like to be a radiologist, pathologist, cardiologist, or family doctor, a decent personal statement is a pivotal part of your application. No matter if you are looking for an advantage over other applicants or some idea of how to start composing your document, writing a personal statement is uneasy. You have only one opportunity to impress the committee as favorably as possible! Our expert writers are able to craft a fabulous residency personal statement that will make you appear different from the rest of the candidates. Bear in mind ordering a residency application personal statement from our devoted team of specialists so as not to miss a chance to invest in your future career!

How important your residency statements are

A residency statement is just one piece of your application. However, they are often the most important. Many of the other applicants will have the same qualifications and experience as yours. Thus, your personal statement is the only method that you can use to make your application stand out from the crowd. Nevertheless, composing a personal statement for the residency that is going to be effective is not simple at all.

Many applicants can struggle for a long while with their writing and still submit a statement that they are unhappy with. People are merely not sure about what they should include in their statements and how to craft something that will truly get them noticed. That’s why so many applicants turn to professional residency personal statement help.

What should your ERAS personal statement include?

Every personal statement must be as unique as possible. There are also some things that you must always ensure that you cover to show the committee that you are the right person for the program. These will usually include all of the following:

• Why do you have a strong interest in the field in which you are applying? What has made you interested, and how have you developed that interest?
• What skills and other attributes do you have that will ensure that you will be a success in this field?
• What are your future goals for your career in this field? Why have you chosen this specific residency program and not another?

Residency personal statements by expert writers and proofreaders

Getting selected for a post-graduate residency program is a hard task. The number of residency programs that are federally funded is capped. It is not likely to change so far, though the number of first-year medical students and, therefore, that of residency application personal statements is increasing, and medical organizations require the government to solve this. The situation can become different, but not soon. Talking of US medical graduates, they typically finish their studies with $200K in student loan debt on average.

It may be considerably hard for a medical student to compose a professional medical residency personal statement not only due to the formatting but the time and effort that are needed. Students also lack time to create a powerful statement because their schedules are busy.

Moreover, students are not taught how to recommend themselves. Similar to a professional resume, a personal statement needs a mix of creativity, writing skills, and knowledge of what the reader anticipates. That’s why an ideal surgical residency personal statement must also contain other things. That’s where we can help you succeed. We realize the significance of a high-quality residency personal statement and truly have the desire to assist you!

What ERAS application documents can we help with?

Our experts have vast experience in creating residency application documents, so they will surely do what you need. It can include all of the following:

• PERSONAL STATEMENT. Writing a personal statement for the residency is complicated, but our specialists will make it easy for you. They work directly with you to make sure that your writing will fully reflect just what the committee wants to see. Writing is unique and corresponds with the standards to get you noticed.
• CV OR RESUME. Just as with a job, you will need to ensure that your resume perfectly reflects just what they are seeking. Our specialists know how to present info in a way that will be obvious to the reader.
• LETTER OF INTENT. Our specialists can make sure that your reasons for application are clear and compelling and make your letter different from many others that will be read. We work with you to ensure that you will get the best results, and you will always receive a letter that is written perfectly.
• LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION. A good reference can go a long way to helping the applicant win a place. However, it is far from easy to write. It is not just a matter of what you say. It is also a matter of what you fail to say. Our specialists will work with you to ensure that you will submit an LoR that will be highly effective.

Our residency personal statements are all about quality

Our expert writers are able to deliver a fabulous personal statement. They all undergo rigorous writing and editing training. Consequently, they know how to describe your practical experience, unprecedented insight, creativity, and research skills, which admission review committees are searching for. Our expert personal statement editors constantly improve a multitude of personal statements, and these belong to various fields of study.

Every personal statement is out of the ordinary. Each is composed to reflect the client’s personality and skills. Our personal statement writing service can make you closer to achieving your objectives! Professional emergency, cardiology, and psychiatry residency personal statements written by us have already benefited a great many applicants for different programs.

Entrust our personal statement writers

The writers strive to get you selected for the program you have chosen! We know what to include and how to include it in a document for sure! If you turn to us, you will receive a personal statement of the highest quality possible! The percentage of those who, thanks to us, got into the programs they were applying for is close to 100%!

Our expert personal statement writers are knowledgeable about how to use the info you provide and emphasize your best attributes! We can compose a residency personal statement for almost any specialty! Thanks to us, you have the opportunity to save your energy, time, and money. Thanks to us, you have the opportunity to do things connected with self-development rather than struggle with a personal statement.

Our residency personal statement services

We can help you leave an exceptional impression on the admission committee with a brilliant residency personal statement! Here is what we can offer:

• We compose impeccable, concise, and powerful personal statements for the residency!
• We concentrate on your best features and describe them as masterfully as possible!
• We have awesome customer support that can help you at all stages of creating your document!
• We ensure that your residency personal statement emphasizes you as an individual!
• We can proofread and edit a residency personal statement that you already have!

When working on your residency personal statement, our writers make it top-notch! We aim at meeting your expectations and even more. If you already have a residency personal statement but are not sure about its quality, turn to our expert personal statement editing service, and our editors will perfect it! We are very proud of the fact that clients of ours got residency positions, thanks to our effort.

Choose our residency personal statement services

• We hire only the best writers: they are specialists in composing personal statements for every medical specialty.
• Our rates are very affordable in comparison with those of other writing services.
• We are knowledgeable about how the admission committee selects candidates.
• We understand what admission committees want applicants to possess.
• You can communicate with your writer directly during the process of creating your document.
• We make revisions of your residency personal statement until you are fully content with our work.
• We never duplicate documents: residency personal statements are all personalized and written from scratch.
• We offer a full money-back guarantee.

Our personal statement writing service is committed to providing you with a superb residency personal statement that will make you get selected for the program you have opted for.

How can you get help from our residency personal statement editing services?

If you need assistance with writing or editing your personal statement for the residency, we will simplify the process. We offer you an easy way to complete your application up to standard.

• Faculty & Staff
• Graduate Students
• Parents & Families
• Prospective Students
• First Generation
• International
• Students With Disabilities
• Undeclared and Exploratory
• Agriculture, Food, Forestry, and Natural Resources
• Architecture and Construction
• Arts, Media, and Communications
• Business Management and Finance
• Data Science and Information Technology
• Education, Training, and Human Services
• Government, Public Administration, Policy, and Law
• Healthcare and Health Sciences
• Hospitality, Recreation, and Tourism
• Marketing, Operations, and Supply Chain Logistics
• Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math (STEM)
• Create a Resume/CV/Cover Letter
• Expand Your Network/Find a Mentor
• Explore Your Interests/Career Assessments
• Evaluate/Negotiate an Offer
• Prepare for an Interview
• Applying to Graduate & Professional School
• Search for a Job/Internship
• Getting Started
• Co-op Program Options
• Employer Guide to Co-ops & Internships
• Sign Up/Post a Job
• On-Campus Recruiting Visits
• Employer Partner Program
• Recruiting Guidelines
• First Destination Survey Reports
• College-Specific Career Outcomes
• Report Your Post-Grad Plans
• Appointment & Drop-Ins
• Request a Presentation
• Career Center Overview
• Meet Our Team

How to Write a Powerful Personal Statement for Medical School

• Share This: Share How to Write a Powerful Personal Statement for Medical School on Facebook Share How to Write a Powerful Personal Statement for Medical School on LinkedIn Share How to Write a Powerful Personal Statement for Medical School on X

The personal statement can make or break your medical school application. Learn how to write it and strategies to make it stand out to admissions committees in this expert guide.

Essays are one of the most important parts of any graduate school application. Whereas your resume, letters of recommendation, and standardized test scores speak to your achievements and academic potential, your essays are where you can make a human argument based on your unique candidacy; they tell the story of a person rather than of numbers.

Typically, aspiring MD candidates will need to submit several essays. The personal statement or personal comments essay is submitted through the American Medical College Application Service (AMCAS), a centralized application that most medical schools use (outside of Texas), similar to the Common App. This application opens for submission around the end of May or the beginning of June. After you submit your AMCAS application, you’ll also need to submit a secondary application that goes directly to the schools you’re applying to. Depending on the program, this may be open to everyone or extended on an invitation-only basis. This secondary application usually includes several other essays or short-answer questions that are more specific to what the school is looking for.

Though there is a standard that your scores, GPA, and experience need to meet, the essays really can make or break your chances of admission. In this article, we’ll go over what makes a good personal statement, how to get started on yours, and some actionable strategies for success.

What is the Personal Statement?

The “personal statement essay” can be found in section eight of the AMCAS application. The simple, vague prompt is as follows:

“Use the space provided to explain why you want to go to medical school.”

This prompt is purposefully left broad–the admissions committees want to see where applicants go in their responses. In short, they really want the answer to two things:

• Why should we admit you , specifically?
• Why medicine?

On its website, AMCAS says that this essay “provides an opportunity to distinguish yourself from other applicants and provide admissions officers with more insight into why you have chosen to pursue a career in medicine.” In other words, your response should make a compelling case for what you will bring to the table and clearly outline how your path so far has led you to medical school.

Med School Personal Statement Length

The personal comments essay has a character limit of 5,300, which includes spaces. This translates to about a page and a half worth of words. TMDSAS, the Texan equivalent of AMCAS, has a character limit of 5,000.

How Long Will My Personal Statement Take?

Like with any part of the application, timing is everything. Thankfully, medical school applications don’t require too much writing. Still, we recommend giving yourself at least a month on the personal statement (several if you’re able to) so that you have time to iterate on a few different drafts, sit on it, and get feedback.

For more advice on timing the application process, read The Ultimate Guide to the Medical School Application Process .

How to Write a Med School Personal Statement

Often, the most difficult part is getting started; but, it’s hard to do so without a plan. Before you begin writing, it can be helpful to have an idea of your overarching narrative and the role that you want the essay to play. At a foundational level, you also just need to have a really solid understanding of who you are and what your motivations are for pursuing medicine. After all that, you’ll get to writing. Here’s a step-by-step playback for getting from start to finish on your personal statement.

Step 1: Ideate

Before you put pen to paper, think about the following questions and jot a few ideas down. If there are any that you’re struggling with, ask the people around you! Parents/guardians and close friends can be especially helpful in identifying your strengths and what makes you unique.

• What are the main life decisions I made in the last ten years and why did I make them? What values/thoughts/rationale remained consistent across these decisions?
• What character traits do I want to show the admissions committee? What are some examples of when I demonstrated these traits?
• What are my strengths and weaknesses?
• When did I first believe that I wanted to be a doctor? What experiences originally led to that and then later cemented it as a goal?
• What are the main takeaways from my clinical (and other relevant) experience? What did I learn? What stuck with me?
• What parts of my candidacy are not well represented in the other parts of my application?
• Why do I want to go med school? (get specific)
• What do I want my professional career to look like in 15 years? In 30?
• What motivates me–professionally and personally?

In any graduate school application, you’re trying to strike a balance between providing a comprehensive view of your candidacy and not overwhelming with unnecessary information. For this reason, it can be extremely valuable to have an idea of the overall story you want to tell. Think about your “elevator pitch” and use the essay to build on that. If you’re not sure what experiences or characteristics are the most impactful, you can also work with a coach . They’ll help you identify what’s most important to talk about, and to leave out, and can also work with you to draft an outline.

Step 2: Write a draft (it’s okay if it’s terrible)

Once you’ve got some direction, the next step is to just get your thoughts on paper. Sit down and force yourself to brain dump. It does not have to be pretty, it does not have to make sense, it does not have to be comprehensive. From there, leave it for a day. When you come back, highlight the parts that still resonate and make a note of anything missing.

Step 3: Review and edit, repeat

Based on the comments you left yourself on your preliminary thoughts, write a second draft. This time, pay a little more attention to the overall flow. Support your main ideas with real evidence in the form of stories and anecdotes. Be concise and get to the point–when your characters are limited, it’s important to not waste any on irrelevant details or extraneous verbiage. Once you’ve done this, set your draft aside for a bit. Come back to it later and make it better. Then, repeat the process. To get a really good personal statement, you’re going to want to go through many different drafts.

Step 4: Get feedback

Once you’ve got a draft that you feel good about, we highly recommend getting a second perspective. The ideal editor is someone who has a basic understanding of your background but does not know you in-depth, as this would make it difficult for them to judge the essay objectively. A friend-of-a-friend, friend-of-a-mentor, professor, or med school admissions coach are all great choices. It’s a bonus if they have any kind of writing or editorial experience.

This third-party review will help you figure out what’s working and what’s not. From this point, and depending on the feedback, you may be close to a final draft.

Step 5: Read it out loud

We know–this sounds weird, but do it. When you read your essay out loud, you hear it as the admissions committee member will. It’s easier to find the gaps, identify missing transitions, see where you’re rambling, and get an overall idea of the impression it gives.

Step 6: Review, final edits, and spellcheck

Once you feel really, really good about your response, read it for a final time. Make sure that there are no grammatical or spelling errors. Then, you’ll copy and paste it into section eight of the AMCAS application, and it’s ready to go!

Caution: Don’t overdo it

Though it’s better to err on the side of too much editing over too little, it is possible to overdo it. If you stare at your writing long enough, everything starts to sound the same. And, for those of us who are perfectionists, it’s easy to feel like it’s never good enough . In most cases, it probably is. There comes to a point where you’ve done all you can and it’s time to submit. A good coach can help you gauge when this is but it also takes knowing yourself. If you start to get overwhelmed or frustrated, it’s completely okay (and even beneficial) to step back for a few days. Then, when you return, you’re coming in with a fresh and slightly more removed perspective.

Medical School Personal Statement Tips

Now that we’ve covered what the personal statement is and how to get it written, we’ll dive into some specifics on how to make it great , including things to do and avoid .

Lean into what makes you different from the other applicants.

After reading your personal statement, you want the admissions committees to think, “If we don’t admit this person right now, we might never get another applicant like them!” No pressure, right? Just kidding, we know this is tough to do! You will come from the same schools as other applicants and have the same majors, the same work experiences, the same hometowns, and the same GPAs. What’s different is how you went through all of that. Your perspective, how you interact with the world, and what you take away are all unique to you.

In the examples you share and your overall argument for admission, make sure you address this and don’t be afraid to get specific. A good test is this: if someone else could have written your exact same personal statement, it’s not unique enough.

Know what your personal statement is not.

You’re applying to medical schools, not creative writing programs. With this in mind, your personal statement should not be an exercise in writing the most experimental personal statement. The power in personal statements comes from the applicant’s background and story, not their writing abilities. To be clear, your statement should still be written well; but, you don’t need to get too fancy.

Don’t lose sight of the prompt.

With broader topics like this, it’s easy to get sucked into a tangent and pretty soon, you’re giving your entire life story. And, while you do want to explain your path, you’re doing so with a specific reason in mind. Your personal statement should explain exactly why you want to be a physician . If your stories aren’t directly relevant to that purpose, take them out.

For this, it can be helpful to examine your personal statement paragraph by paragraph. Imagine your response without that section–does the primary message still get across? Is it contributing something valuable or is it extraneous?

Don’t recite your resume.

This is your classic “show, don’t tell” advice. Use examples to support the qualities that you want the adcom to see, rather than listing your accomplishments and what you think they demonstrate. Here’s an example:

• Applicant 1: For two years, I shadowed a family physician in my city where I learned the day-to-day responsibilities required to succeed in the field.
• Applicant 2: For two years, I shadowed a family physician in my city. This taught me how successful doctors in this field need to understand a variety of issues, problem-solve constantly, and develop real relationships with their patients.

Which one is more compelling? They’re essentially saying the same thing, but the second applicant explains what the first only claims.

Keep the focus on you.

You are the main character of the personal statement. While many stories will also involve other people–mentors, patients, friends, family members, etc…–make sure that the focus remains on what you demonstrated. That’s not to say you should only have stories that don’t include others. Tell the same stories but do so in a way that highlights the role you played.

When you’re reviewing any given anecdote, ask yourself: “What does the admissions committee learn about me from this?” If you can’t point to direct and specific things, it needs to be reworked.

Source: https://www.joinleland.com/library/a/medical-school-personal-statement-tips

• Test Preparation
• College & High School

Sorry, there was a problem.

Download the free Kindle app and start reading Kindle books instantly on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required .

Read instantly on your browser with Kindle for Web.

Using your mobile phone camera - scan the code below and download the Kindle app.

Image Unavailable

• To view this video download Flash Player

Follow the author

The Complete College Essay Handbook: A Step-by-Step Guide to Writing the Personal Statement and the Supplemental Essays Paperback – July 19, 2021

Additional details.

Want to write memorable college application essays in less time, with less stress? This book will guide you through the process, with hands-on activities, practical tips, and tons of real application essays—personal statements and supplemental essays—by real students!

Finally—the book you’ve been waiting for! The Complete College Essay Handbook demystifies the entire college essay writing process with easy-to-follow directions and hands-on activities that have worked for hundreds of students. Maschal, a former admissions officer, and Wood, a professional writer and writing teacher, draw on their combined expertise to help students craft a successful set of application essays for every school on their list. Supplemental essays in particular can seem overwhelming—some schools ask students to write as many as six essays in addition to the personal statement. Maschal and Wood identify four types of supplemental essays, walking students through how to write each one and then how to recycle these essays for other schools.

The Complete College Essay Handbook walks students through:

• What makes an essay stand out, drawing on sample essays by real students to illustrate main points
• Brainstorming activities to find the best topics for the personal statement and supplemental essays
• How to write the two central components of every application essay: scene and reflection
• Editing and revision—including techniques to cut down or expand an essay to hit the word limit
• The four types of supplemental essays and how to decode the different essay prompts, using actual essay questions
• The strategy behind a well-rounded set of application essays

The Complete College Essay Handbook is a no-frills, practical guide that will give students the confidence and know-how they need to craft the best essays for every single school on their list—in less time and with less stress.

This book is for students, high school teachers and counselors, parents, and anyone else who wants to help students through the college essay writing process.

• Print length 212 pages
• Language English
• Publication date July 19, 2021
• Dimensions 6 x 0.48 x 9 inches
• ISBN-10 173731598X
• ISBN-13 978-1737315988
• See all details

Product details

• Publisher ‏ : ‎ 1 (July 19, 2021)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• Paperback ‏ : ‎ 212 pages
• ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 173731598X
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1737315988
• Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12.2 ounces
• Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.48 x 9 inches
• #619 in College Guides (Books)
• #768 in College Entrance Test Guides (Books)

About the author

Brittany maschal.

Dr. Brittany Maschal is the founder of Brittany Maschal Consulting, LLC, an educational consulting firm that works with students applying to college and graduate school.

Brittany has held positions in admissions and student services at the University of Pennsylvania at Penn Law and The Wharton School; Princeton University (undergraduate) and the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs; and the Johns Hopkins University-Paul H. Nitze School of Advanced International Studies (SAIS). She has served on admissions committees with American Councils for International Education and International Research and Exchanges Board; as an invited speaker to numerous community programs in the US and abroad; and as an alumni interviewer and admissions representative for the Graduate School of Education at the University of Pennsylvania. Brittany was also an Executive Board member and Membership Director of the Penn GSE Alumni Association.

Brittany received her doctorate in higher education from the George Washington University in 2012. Prior, she attended the University of Pennsylvania for her master’s, and the University of Vermont for her bachelor’s degree—a degree she obtained in three years. Brittany is a member of the Independent Educational Consultants Association and a member of the Professional Association of Resume Writers and Career Coaches.

Customer reviews

Customer Reviews, including Product Star Ratings help customers to learn more about the product and decide whether it is the right product for them.

To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.

Customers say

Customers find the themes in the book comprehensive and personal. They also appreciate the writing style as clear, empathic, and gentle.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

Customers find the themes in the book comprehensive, inspiring, and personal. They also say it's a gem of a book, chock full of real essays by real students. Customers also appreciate the brainstorming exercises and writing prompts.

"...was the emphasis on how students can find a meaningful and very personal story in seemingly small every day events, coupled with the very practical..." Read more

"...exercises, and writing prompts - all designed to be the perfect guided experience . It’s a gem of a book, chock full of real essays by real students!" Read more

"...This book really taught me how to write a concise , personal, meaningful college essay. So glad I found this book!" Read more

"...Not only does it help you write the common app essay , but it teaches you how to write a wide variety of supplemental essays which are just as..." Read more

Customers find the writing style clear, empathic, and gentle. They also say the book is chock full of real essays by real students.

"... It's written so clearly , and with great empathy and the right amount of gentle humor...." Read more

"...It’s a gem of a book, chock full of real essays by real students!" Read more

"... Love the clarity and concision too. I strongly recommend for students and teachers." Read more

"...The authors are very down to earth and give simple but important tips for writing a stand out essay...." Read more

Reviews with images

• Sort reviews by Top reviews Most recent Top reviews

Top reviews from the United States

There was a problem filtering reviews right now. please try again later..

• About Amazon
• Investor Relations
• Amazon Devices
• Amazon Science
• Sell products on Amazon
• Sell on Amazon Business
• Sell apps on Amazon
• Become an Affiliate
• Advertise Your Products
• Self-Publish with Us
• Host an Amazon Hub
• › See More Make Money with Us
• Amazon Business Card
• Shop with Points
• Reload Your Balance
• Amazon Currency Converter
• Amazon and COVID-19
• Your Account
• Your Orders
• Shipping Rates & Policies
• Returns & Replacements
• Manage Your Content and Devices

• Conditions of Use
• Privacy Notice
• Consumer Health Data Privacy Disclosure
• Your Ads Privacy Choices

UCAS to replace personal statement essay with three questions to help disadvantaged people

UCAS surveyed potential applicants about to start their personal statement and found more than three-quarters prefer the new three-question format.

By Claire Gilbody Dickerson, news reporter

Thursday 18 July 2024 03:37, UK

Students applying for university through UCAS will be required to answer three questions under new plans to help support people from disadvantaged backgrounds. 

Under the current system, prospective students have been filling out a free-response essay for their personal statement, which can be up to 4,000 characters long.

But amid concerns the task helps advantaged people who can get support, the essay will, as of September 2025, be replaced with three mandatory questions.

The questions are:

• Why do you want to study this course or subject?

• How have your qualifications and studies helped you to prepare for this course or subject?

• What else have you done to prepare outside of education, and why are these experiences helpful?

More on Higher Education

Labour's Bridget Phillipson criticised for refusing to rule out tuition-fee hike

Good University Guide: St Andrews comes out top, with Oxford bumped to second

As A-level results return to normality, is going to university still worth it?

Related Topics:

• higher education

Read more: Welsh is UK's most relaxing accent, study finds Graduate visa route should remain, report finds

Students seeking to start university in 2026 will be the first to experience the reformed application form, which will allow for the same amount of writing as the essay.

The move comes as UCAS data suggests the gap in university application rates between the most and least advantaged students has widened in the last year.

Keep up with all the latest news from the UK and around the world by following Sky News

Data shows the application rate from the most disadvantaged backgrounds has fallen slightly to 25.4% in England, while the application rate for the most advantaged has marginally increased to 60.7%.

UCAS surveyed potential applicants about to start their personal statement, and found more than three-quarters prefer the new three-question format.

Be the first to get Breaking News

Install the Sky News app for free

Previous UCAS research found 79% of students felt that the process of writing the personal statement was difficult to complete without support.

Jo Saxton, chief executive at UCAS, said: "The changes to the personal statement, along with our recent fee waiver for students in receipt of free school meals, are all part of UCAS's contribution to the sector-wide effort to ensure more people from disadvantaged backgrounds can benefit from the life-changing opportunity of higher education."

Related Topics

Cookies on GOV.UK

We use some essential cookies to make this website work.

We’d like to set additional cookies to understand how you use GOV.UK, remember your settings and improve government services.

We also use cookies set by other sites to help us deliver content from their services.

You have accepted additional cookies. You can change your cookie settings at any time.

You have rejected additional cookies. You can change your cookie settings at any time.

King's Speech 2024: background briefing notes

Read the briefing notes on the announcements made in the 2024 King’s Speech.

The King's Speech 2024: background briefing notes

PDF , 556 KB , 104 pages

This file may not be suitable for users of assistive technology.

Updates to this page

The attachment on this page has been updated.

First published.

Sign up for emails or print this page

Is this page useful.

• Yes this page is useful
• No this page is not useful

Help us improve GOV.UK

Don’t include personal or financial information like your National Insurance number or credit card details.

To help us improve GOV.UK, we’d like to know more about your visit today. Please fill in this survey (opens in a new tab) .

• Entertainment
• Submit Your Story

University applicants to answer guided questions in revised personal statement

Students will no longer have to write a long free-response essay when applying for university, Ucas has announced.

University applicants will now answer questions in their personal statements to level the playing field for disadvantaged students, Ucas has confirmed.

Students who wish to start university in 2026 will no longer write a free-response essay for their personal statement, the admissions body said.

Instead, prospective students will provide answers to three guided questions in their Ucas personal statements.

The reform follows longstanding concerns that the existing personal statement favours advantaged students who can access more support.

It is hoped the structured questions will provide students from all backgrounds with a better understanding of the key information universities and colleges want to know about them when making admissions decisions.

The move comes as Ucas data suggests the gap in university application rates between the most and least advantaged students has widened in the last year.

Currently, applicants set out their skills, experiences and their reasons for applying for a course in a text box – which can be up to 4,000 characters.

But from September 2025, students who are applying for 2026 entry to university or college courses will answer three mandatory questions:

Previous Ucas research found 79% of students felt that the process of writing the personal statement was difficult to complete without support.

Ucas surveyed potential applicants about to start their personal statement, and found more than three-quarters prefer the new three-question format.

The reformed personal statements will still be up to 4,000 characters long.

The latest figures released by Ucas on Thursday showed that the overall number of 18-year-olds in the UK applying to undergraduate courses at universities or colleges has risen slightly this year.

As of June 30 – the final deadline to apply to up to five courses simultaneously – a total of 321,410 18-year-olds from across the UK have applied to courses, up from 319,570 in 2023 (0.6%).

But the latest data shows the application rate from the most disadvantaged backgrounds has fallen slightly to 25.4% in England, while the application rate for the most advantaged has marginally increased to 60.7%.

Jo Saxton, chief executive at Ucas, said: “Today’s figures show that whilst positive progress has been made, there is still much to do.

“The changes to the personal statement, along with our recent fee waiver for students in receipt of free school meals, are all part of Ucas’s contribution to the sector-wide effort to ensure more people from disadvantaged backgrounds can benefit from the life-changing opportunity of higher education.

“During my time in schools, I saw first-hand how the personal statement can help students really clarify and articulate their ambition, but also how challenging it can be for those with less support.

“The new approach, with guided questions, aims to give greater confidence to those students, as well as their teachers when advising on how to secure their dream course.”

Kevin Gilmartin, post 16 specialist at the Association of Schools and College Leaders (ASCL), said: “This is a very welcome change. The current ‘text box’ approach is far too vague and has favoured students who are able to draw on support from family members that have previously been to university and submitted personal statements themselves.

“The switch to structured questions will provide much needed clarity to students about what information they should be including.

“These questions should also be of more use to admissions tutors than the old-style personal statements, which research has shown were barely being read in many cases.”

A report by the Higher Education Policy Institute (Hepi) think tank last year suggested that  university applicants’ personal statements are read for just two minutes on average.

Lee Elliot Major, professor of social mobility at the University of Exeter, said: “This welcome reform strikes the right balance between a more structured approach to deter fabrication, while not limiting the opportunity for applicants to personalise their statement.

“I believe it is a significant step in making the university admissions system a little bit fairer for all applicants.”

Tipton Twin who shot to fame on TV alongside her sister celebrates her 100th birthday Plus Tipton | 14 hours ago

Revealed: Face of man jailed for punching baby in his cot, inflicting lifelong brain damage Walsall | 13 hours ago

Walsall road blocked off to all after car crashes into wall and another badly damaged Walsall | 11 hours ago

Gary O'Neil gives verdict on Wolves' Daniel Podence Plus Wolves | Jul 19

Major Staffordshire road 'likely to be closed' until Saturday after water main bursts Lichfield | Jul 18

Advertisement

Chaos and Confusion: Tech Outage Causes Disruptions Worldwide

Airlines, hospitals and people’s computers were affected after CrowdStrike, a cybersecurity company, sent out a flawed software update.

• Share full article

By Adam Satariano ,  Paul Mozur ,  Kate Conger and Sheera Frenkel

• July 19, 2024

Airlines grounded flights. Operators of 911 lines could not respond to emergencies. Hospitals canceled surgeries. Retailers closed for the day. And the actions all traced back to a batch of bad computer code.

A flawed software update sent out by a little-known cybersecurity company caused chaos and disruption around the world on Friday. The company, CrowdStrike , based in Austin, Texas, makes software used by multinational corporations, government agencies and scores of other organizations to protect against hackers and online intruders.

But when CrowdStrike sent its update on Thursday to its customers that run Microsoft Windows software, computers began to crash.

The fallout, which was immediate and inescapable, highlighted the brittleness of global technology infrastructure. The world has become reliant on Microsoft and a handful of cybersecurity firms like CrowdStrike. So when a single flawed piece of software is released over the internet, it can almost instantly damage countless companies and organizations that depend on the technology as part of everyday business.

“This is a very, very uncomfortable illustration of the fragility of the world’s core internet infrastructure,” said Ciaran Martin, the former chief executive of Britain’s National Cyber Security Center and a professor at the Blavatnik School of Government at Oxford University.

A cyberattack did not cause the widespread outage, but the effects on Friday showed how devastating the damage can be when a main artery of the global technology system is disrupted. It raised broader questions about CrowdStrike’s testing processes and what repercussions such software firms should face when flaws in their code cause major disruptions.

How a Software Update Crashed Computers Around the World

Here’s a visual explanation for how a faulty software update crippled machines.

How the airline cancellations rippled around the world (and across time zones)

Share of canceled flights at 25 airports on Friday

50% of flights

Ai r po r t

Bengalu r u K empeg o wda

Dhaka Shahjalal

Minneapolis-Saint P aul

Stuttga r t

Melbou r ne

Be r lin B r anden b urg

London City

Amsterdam Schiphol

Chicago O'Hare

Raleigh−Durham

B r adl e y

Cha r lotte

Reagan National

Philadelphia

1:20 a.m. ET

CrowdStrike’s stock price so far this year

We are having trouble retrieving the article content.

Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.

Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and  log into  your Times account, or  subscribe  for all of The Times.

Thank you for your patience while we verify access.

Already a subscriber?  Log in .

Want all of The Times?  Subscribe .