essay on mother by daughter

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Mother-Daughter Relationships: Personal Essays

The Mother-Daughter Series is a collection of personal essays by women writers, reflecting on their relationships with their mothers.

The writers participating in this exercise range in age from thirty-something to sixty-something. Some have daughters (and even granddaughters) of their own, some have sons, and others do not have children.

My thanks to the many fine writers contributing to this ongoing collection of essays. Their honesty and insights are greatly appreciated.

• 1:  Mothers and Daughters (Introduction)
• 2:  Sapphires in the Sand (Andrea Santiago)
• 3:  An Enduring Relationship (Judith A. Ross)
• 4:  Homesick for the Holidays (C. Troubadour)
• 5:  Ah que Linda (Heather Robinson)
• 6:  She Climbed Out of His Secret (Rudri Patel)
• 7:  The Mother Daughter Dance (Barbara Albright)
• 8:  A Day With My Mother (Dana Talusani)
• 9:  The Dutiful Daughter (Cecilia)
• 10:  Little Girl in the Corner (Cathy Meyer)

[…] the same sex. I was pleased about both facts, happy to have given birth to boys, especially with a difficult mother-daughter relationship of my […]

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Mother Daughter Relationship Essay

This sample of an academic paper on Mother Daughter Relationship Essay reveals arguments and important aspects of this topic. Read this essay’s introduction, body paragraphs and the conclusion below.

MOTHER-DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIPS In my opinion a woman is never complete until the birth of her first child. The moment she holds her baby for the first time, she thinks of all the things she’ll teach the baby. Many mothers dream of having a baby girl, to share the secrets of “woman-hood”.

A mother-daughter relationship is a special bond between mother and daughter; their bonding can start at a very early age. As children we idolized our mothers and that’s the way it’s always been, until we’ve reached our early teens.

Now our best friend becomes our enemy and we can’t stand a word she says. A mother-daughter relationship should in my opinion should be were the two have a special bond and respects each other. Firstly a mother-daughter relationship should be one where they both find a joy in spending quality time with each other and the daughter idolizes her mother .

In the novel Selections from Annie John Jamaica Kincaid explains how important she felt to be with her mother. Kincaid had a very close bond with her mother.

They did almost everything together . This form of affection is very normal at this stage between a mother and her daughter. Kincaid admires her mother “when my eyes rested on my father, I didn’t think very much about the way he looked.

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But when my eyes rested on my mother, I found her beautiful”. When I was a child my mother and I would always fuss about me getting into her make-up kit and playing dress up in her clothing and high heels, I wanted to be just like “mommy” she was my hero in my eyes she did nothing wrong.

Who Am I As A Daughter Essay

My father was never around he always worked late nights giving me and my mother sometime alone to bond, sometimes I wished my father would never come home because I didn’t want it end. I hated sharing my mother I wanted her all to myself! Having a mother’s affection is the greatest gift one can ever have. Infants can sense when their loved, the minute it loses the attention of its mother the baby begins to fuss until the attention is brought back upon it. A mother’s love is the most important ingredient in raising a child. The worst thing a mother can ever do is to announce that she no longer loves you.

For a child to hear these words are like the whole world as you knew it has now come to an end. Secondly a mother-daughter relationship should be bases on good communication skills, were if there is a problem the two can both talk it over without it becoming a huge argument . The one person you knew to be there for you is now letting you venture into the world alone , that’s just how Kincaid must of felt when her mother told her “ oh , no your getting too old for that” , “you cannot go around the rest of your life looking like a little me” .

Kincaid grow hatred for her mother because she can no longer be like her “mommy” she’s forced to find herself and her image some were else. For some mother-daughter relationships it’s the daughter that no longer wants to me like “mommy”. When I started my early teens I no longer wanted to be seen with my mother , or allowed her to drop me in front of the gate at school or be picked up there . I stopped talking to her about my problems because I now had a new best friend. My mother and I relationship now became lost because I felt that I was too grown to hang out with “mommy”.

Mother –daughter relationships are like roller coasters, one minute everything is going smooth and then the course changes and the ride gets a little bumpy and you’re agreeing again. In some homes the only time and way mothers and daughters speak is if their screaming down each other’s throats, this is never healthy for any relationships. Furthermore a mother-daughter relationship should also be bases out love and respect, There’s a saying “how can you respect someone if you can’t even respect yourself”.

Every human being wants the same thing they would like to be respected and loved. Kincaid’s mother spent years “drumming her”, teaching her how to behave around young men, but how could she train Kincaid into something she’s not. Even though Kincaid has hatred for her mother she’s still was watching and catching the bad habits of her mother. A mother will never gain respect from her daughter if she doesn’t learn how to speak with her. How can a mother refer to her daughter as a “slut”! When she’s acting the very same way.

Kincaid mother said “just to see me had caused her to feel shame”, has it ever acquired to her that maybe her daughter may feel the very same way as she conducts herself in a shameful manner? A mother shouldn’t be instructing her daughter to do things that she’s not willing to do or change, sometimes as mothers we have to admit to our wrong doings and make thing right to set an example for our kids. “Like father like son, like mother like daughter”, children are watching everything their parents does even through sometimes we don’t admit to it.

Even though Kincaid didn’t really call her mother a “slut” in words she simply said “like mother like daughter. In my opinion a mother should always know how to respectfully approach her daughter about any situation because if there is no respect why bother talking. In conclusion the one thing that can end bond between mother-daughter relationships is lack of communication and respect for each other. Most mothers and sometimes daughters believe that their relationship can never improve, but in my option with a little effort the bond can be mended again.

It doesn’t matter whether they fight physically or mentally, what matters is that they begin working toward a healthier and more loving mother-daughter relationship. “I wanted to go over and put my arms around her and beg forgiveness for the thing I had just said ant to explain that I didn’t really mean it” if only Kincaid had apologized to her mother. Maybe they could of rebuild their relationship or at least build up respect for one another. After an argument nothing starts a healthier convocation than saying am sorry.

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• Relationships

Mothers and Daughters: Making Peace in Adulthood

Here are tips to help maintain or rebuild healthy mom-daughter relationships..

Posted May 16, 2019

• Why Relationships Matter
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The “extreme relationships” that are being televised this season in the new show sMothered probably are not the type of relationships that most women would want to have with their mother or their daughter. The television network clearly describes their featured families as "extreme examples of mother-daughter closeness," and most of us want to avoid that kind of extreme.

While intimacy and close connections are definitely a desired outcome of motherhood, normal, healthy boundaries still need to be honored, and over-involvement and over-identification with a daughter can quickly veer towards co-dependency and enmeshment. The result can be adult daughters who have significant difficulty living independent lives and forming healthy intimate relationships beyond their families-of-origin.

Six Truths of Healthy Mother- (Adult) Daughter Relationships

1. A daughter’s sense of self-esteem is based on how she believes she is seen through her mother’s eyes. This is something that sounds complicated, but what it means is that our daughters value themselves based on how they believe that we value them. Tell and, more importantly, show your daughter how highly you esteem her, even if she’s making choices that you’d rather she not. If you want her to feel capable of making better choices or turning her life around, you have to show her that you have confidence she can do these things.

2. “Give and take” are a part of every healthy relationship. Sometimes moms have to cut their daughters some slack, and sometimes daughters need to give their moms a break. Once a daughter becomes an adult, she shouldn’t expect her mom to rush in and rescue her if she’s thrown off balance by life, but mothers can be awesome at helping daughters pick up the pieces if a crisis occurs. And mothers shouldn’t call on their daughters for favors and support to the exclusion of other support system members. Just because you gave birth to a child doesn’t mean that you have the right to control or co-opt your adult child’s life.

3. Trust must run both ways in the relationship. Moms need to trust their daughters enough to let them make their own decisions and their own mistakes, within reason, if that’s what needs to happen, for lessons to be learned and personal development to occur. If you want your daughter to trust your insight and input, you need to trust her to lead her own life.

4. Keep communication lines open. Sometimes the anger or hurt we experience in the mom-daughter relationship can be the rawest form of pain we might ever experience. Moms and daughters, though, may need to swallow their pride to be able to maintain communication.

5. Family relationships are lifelong ties. So buckle up and be ready for the long haul. When at odds with your mother or your daughter, the sooner you are able to let go of any resentment, frustration, anger, hurt feelings, the easier your life is going to be. You can hold onto the ugly feelings, but the longer you cling to them, the harder it’s going to be to let go of them down the road. You do not want to be the woman in the room who wins bragging rights for how long it’s been since you and your mother (daughter) spoke.”

6. Friendship is a benefit, not a given.

While trying to be a daughter’s “best friend” when she’s still a child or adolescent is never advised, as it devalues your role as a mom, sometimes remarkably fulfilling friendships develop as daughters mature into adulthood. Some moms and daughters grow into best friendships as each is able to appreciate the other as an individual and a mother or daughter. This isn’t always the case, though, even when a mother or daughter longs for this relational transformation. Sometimes family members are either so much alike in less than ideal ways or so very different that they just aren’t compatible as friends. That’s okay, so long as respect and care are present between a mom and her daughter.

Tips for Mothers

• Don’t try to force your daughter to live out your own unrealized dreams . Let her figure out her own goals and follow her own path. Everyone should have the chance to write their own life story – don’t try to force your daughter’s story to be something it’s not meant to be.
• Be there to support your daughter as she reaches the milestones that she values, don’t damage the relationship by telling her what “you would have done” if you were her – because you’re not.
• Even if you consider your daughter your “BFF,” don’t forget that sometimes what a daughter needs more than a friend is her mother.
• Offer advice when asked and if you feel you “have” to say something, ask for permission before telling her what you think she needs to know. She probably already knows, anyway, so don’t make difficult times any more difficult than they need to be for her.
• Learning how to “daughter a mother” isn’t always easy for young women; show your appreciation when your daughter is trying to get it right and be the kind of daughter she thinks you would like her to be.

Tips for Daughters

• When you’re able to accept your mother’s faults and shortcomings, you can see her in a whole new light. It can free you from a lifetime of wondering about all of the “If only’s” you can imagine. No mother can be everything a daughter thinks she needed, but if you can accept your mother and her limitations, you’ll feel better about the mothering you received.
• Always remember that your mother did her best, even if her best wasn’t as good as you feel that it should have been.
• It’s normal to still feel irritation as an adult about the things your mom began when you were young, whether it’s nagging, back-handed compliments, or complaining about your choices. Now that you’re an adult, you can let go of the urge to argue back or sulk in a corner. Practice mindful disengagement from unproductive exchanges. Just let whatever your mother is saying or doing wash over you and imagine each barb or zinger is just a cloud in the sky and let it roll on past. It takes two to argue and there’s no argument if you choose not to engage.
• Motherhood is not as easy as it looks – be grateful that you turned out as well as you did and show appreciation to your mother for the sacrifices she made for you, even if you will never know a thing about them.
• Remember that people tend to get "more like themselves" the older they get; accepting this truth will prepare you to keep your cool when your mother seems to be moving backward in her thinking rather than forward.

Are you Wading into the “Narcissistic Mother Danger Zone?

8 truths about narcissistic mothers.

• Narcissistic mothers try to turn their daughters into extensions of themselves or else neglect their daughters as they focus only on themselves. Daughters are not allowed to create lives beyond the role that a narcissistic mother molds for them.
• Daughters may feel that they are never “enough” just as they are and feel guilty for being unable to be the daughter their mother wanted.
• Narcissistic mothers cannot accept that personal boundaries exist between themselves and their daughters and allow little room for privacy of any kind; emotional, physical, or intellectual.
• Narcissistic mothers often compete with their daughters – for attention , for praise, for anything that the daughter might value herself.
• Narcissistic mothers take credit for their daughters’ successes and accomplishments, yet project any negative trait or behavior of their own onto their daughters. “You can’t win for losing” could be the motto of these unfortunate daughters.
• Narcissistic mothers blame their daughters if their own lives don’t turn out as they had hoped.
• Parentifying a daughter can do lasting harm that affects her future relationships and identity . Children are not meant to take care of their parents and when a child is placed into a position that requires her to be the “responsible one” in the relationship, she will miss out on developmental processes that should occur over time as she grows and matures. Mothers should be the emotional and instrumental caretakers of their children; it should not be the other way round.
• The “good enough mother” ensures her daughter’s needs are met until she is old enough to see to her needs herself.

Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D. , is a licensed counselor and professor at Northern Illinois University.

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Descriptive Essay

Descriptive Essay About My Mother

Descriptive Essay About My Mother - A Guide to Writing

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Have you ever wanted to convey the depth of your feelings and appreciation for your mother through words, but felt unsure about how to do it effectively?

Crafting a descriptive essay about your mother can be a challenging task. You want to capture her essence, the love she's given you, and the incredible person she is. 

But how do you put all those emotions into words that truly do her justice?

In this blog, we'll provide you with a step-by-step guide on how to write a heartwarming and meaningful descriptive essay about your mother. 

We’ll also provide essay examples to assist you in crafting an enhanced paper, complemented by valuable tips and guidance.

Let’s get started.

• 1. Descriptive Essay - What You Need to Know
• 2. How to Write a Descriptive Essay About My Mother - 8 Easy Steps
• 3. Examples of Descriptive Essay About My Mother
• 4. Tips to Write a Descriptive Essay About Mother

Descriptive Essay - What You Need to Know

A descriptive essay is a type of essay that uses words to describe an object, person, experience, or place. The purpose of writing this type of essay is to provide the reader with a vivid and clear description of something. The writer must use sensory details, such as sight, hearing, smell, touch, and taste to make the reader experience the topic.

When writing about a person such as your mother, you need to describe the characteristics that make her unique. It can include personality traits or experiences that make her special.

Reading a few essay samples will help you out! So read on to find good examples and tips.

How to Write a Descriptive Essay About My Mother - 8 Easy Steps

Writing a heartfelt and vivid descriptive essay about your mother requires careful consideration. 

Here, we'll guide you through the process step by step, helping you express your feelings and admiration effectively:

Step 1: Choose a Focus

Decide on a specific aspect or trait of your mother that you want to describe. It could be her appearance, personality, nurturing qualities, or a particular event that showcases her character.

Step 2: Brainstorm Descriptive Words

Make a list of adjectives and descriptive words that come to mind when you think about your mother. Try to capture the essence of her being.

Step 3: Create an Outline

Organize your thoughts by creating a descriptive essay outline . Decide on the structure, such as the introduction, body, and conclusion, and what aspects you'll cover in each section.

Step 4: Start with a Hook

Begin your essay with an engaging hook or an anecdote that draws the reader in. It can be a personal memory or a captivating description of your mother.

Step 5: Descriptive Details

In the body of your essay, use sensory details to paint a vivid picture. Describe her appearance, mannerisms, and the emotions she evokes. Incorporate the descriptive words from your brainstorming list.

Step 6: Emotions and Memories

Share your personal emotions and memories associated with your mother. How does she make you feel, and what experiences have shaped your relationship with her?

Step 7: Use Metaphors and Similes

Employ metaphors and similes to enhance your descriptions. Compare her to elements from nature, objects, or anything that can add depth to your portrayal.

Step 8: Show, Don't Tell

Instead of simply stating qualities, show them through actions, interactions, and specific examples. Let the reader experience her through your words.

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Examples of Descriptive Essay About My Mother

Exploring essay examples can provide valuable insights for crafting an essay that deeply connects with your readers. 

Below, you'll find both a descriptive essay about my mother and an analysis of its content.

Why This Descriptive Essay Works

Here are several reasons why this descriptive essay is effective:

• Emotional Connection

The essay immediately establishes an emotional connection with the reader through its theme of a mother's love. The use of descriptive language and personal anecdotes invites the reader to empathize and relate to the feelings and experiences described.

• Vivid Imagery

The essay employs vivid imagery to paint a clear picture of the mother and her attributes. The descriptions of her eyes, hands, voice, and smile create a sensory experience for the reader, making them feel as if they are present with the author.

The essay uses symbolism effectively to convey the depth of the mother's love. The mother's eyes, for example, symbolize her wisdom and the shared experiences with the author. The use of the mother's hands as a source of healing symbolizes her nurturing and caring nature.

• Structure and Flow

The essay is well-structured and flows seamlessly from one descriptive element to another. 

It begins with a general introduction, moves into specific descriptions, and ends with a strong, heartfelt conclusion. This organization keeps the reader engaged and ensures a logical progression of ideas.

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• Emotional Impact

The essay's emotional impact is profound. It not only describes the mother's physical attributes but also delves into the intangible qualities that make her special. The reader is left with a deep sense of appreciation for the role of a mother and the love she provides.

• Relatability

The essay's theme of maternal love is universal, making it relatable to a broad audience. Most readers can connect with the feelings of love, protection, and guidance that the author describes. 

If you still find it challenging to write a descriptive essay, consider these additional examples for guidance.

Descriptive Essay About My Mother PDF

Descriptive Essay About My Mother My Hero

Descriptive Essay Example About Mother

Descriptive Essay About My Mother 200 Words

Descriptive Essay On My Mother's Kitchen

Sample Descriptive Essay About My Mother

Here is a video of another short essay example about mother:

Want to read descriptive essays on other topics as well? Here are more descriptive essay examples that will help you out!

Tips to Write a Descriptive Essay About Mother

Now that you’ve read the examples, let’s look at some tips that will lead you to essay writing success.

• Start with the Basics

Begin by brainstorming ideas of what makes your mother special and why she is important to you. Think about her personality traits, accomplishments, quirks, and unique qualities. In addition, consider the ways that your mother has influenced you and shaped your life.

You can also practice your writing skills with other descriptive essay topics . So write away!

• Create an Outline

Once you have all of your ideas written down, create an descriptive essay outline that will guide the structure of your essay. This should include sections for your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

• Capture Her Essence

Use vivid language to capture the essence of who your mother is. Utilize descriptive words and phrases that will help your reader understand who your mother is and what she means to you.

• Show, Don’t Tell

Instead of simply telling the reader about your mother’s traits or accomplishments, use stories and examples to illustrate them. This will make your essay more interesting to readers.

• Keep Your Tone Consistent

Maintaining a consistent tone throughout ensures a cohesive narrative without feeling disjointed or scattered. This keeps readers interested until they reach their conclusion!

• Don’t Forget the Conclusion

Summarize the main points of your essay in your conclusion and provide a call to action for readers. Maybe you’ll leave them feeling inspired or motivated to do something special for their own mother.

• Revise & Edit Diligently

Revision is key when putting together any written piece. Read over your work multiple times and fix any errors in spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. Also improve any awkward phrasing or unclear ideas that might not be conveyed effectively enough.

To sum it up,

Writing a descriptive essay about your mother doesn't have to be difficult. With our guide and examples, you can easily write an effective essay that will make your mother proud! So get started today, and create the perfect essay for her!

By following these tips and examples, you will find it easier to write a meaningful descriptive essay about your mother. Good luck!

Looking for a professional descriptive essay writer to write it for you? We're right here for you!

You can trust our custom essay writing online for all your essay needs. We offer top-notch essay writing help to you get the best grade possible. Our essay writers are experienced and qualified to handle any essay topic with ease.

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Keep reading

Essay on Mothers Love for Students and Teacher

500+ words essay on mothers love.

There is nothing that can come close to the love that a mother feels for her children. Women are inherently good mothers. Till birth women carry their young and then continue their love & affection throughout their childhood and even into adulthood. Every Mother always makes sure that their children are safe and happy throughout their childhood. It is the love for their child that a mother feels that drives these feelings. No one can describe in words the feeling that a mother has towards her children. In fact, most people do not understand unless they become a mother themselves. Love always encourages us in any falls which come in life. She is the only person who has no demands except our best future.

Mother as a Caretaker

A Mother always wants best for her child and never compromise on anything related to her child. Parents protect their child from any difficult situation and provide him all comfort that they can afford. Mothers love is not only about pampering her child but also about letting her child know the moral and cultural values.

A good upbringing makes the better future of a person and a mother does an excellent job to give the best future for her child. She converts a house into a home; she works as a superwoman because to keep managing household works and to fulfill all family members’ requirement on time is no easy task at all.

If we talk about working ladies than we can’t even imagine how she would manage all things together. I am proud of my mother who has nurtured me along with doing a job and also managing home properly.

Read 500 Words Essay on Mother here

Mother as a Best Friend

After birth, a child finds his mom as the first friend who plays with him along with extra care and nourishment. She interacts with her child as a friend and keeps watching all her child’s activities.

A mother never feels tired while playing with her child and always fulfills all his demands without thinking of her. A mother is like an angel for her child.

Mother as a Mentor

Without any expectation, a mother keeps on working for the betterment of her child. She plays all roles including mom like a mentor, a teacher, a friend, a caretaker.

She loves her child more than any other thing in this world but sometimes she becomes little strict towards her child for making him capable to fight with different circumstances comes in life. Mother gives us that power with which we become able to accept them and get success.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Mother – A Special Person of Our Life

When a child born; it is the mother who easily understands the feelings or requirements of her child. She spends every second around her child for fulfilling his all needs. Since childhood, our mother keeps telling us what is wrong and what is right in a manner to build us as a good human being and also encourage us to do good things in life.

She loves and cares us without any personal greed. The fragrance of a mother can easily be recognized by her newborn child. Since birth, a child is being observed by his mother. For providing a child all comforts she does all needful.

All mothers are pure by heart and want all the best things in their child’s life whether it is any toy, clothing, education and the values. Motherhood is the best part of life a lady can have. It is a full-time job without any salary but it worth’s a lot for a child. Mother’s love is something that can feel, mothers love is like a blessing by God, mothers love is everything. People who escape from the love of their mothers are really very unfortunate.

We as a child always take our mother for granted but without her our life becomes worthless. Mother is a precious gift by God which we need to keep with love and care. She does her job of motherhood with a pure heart and complete devotion. The first teacher is a mother for any child and if he keeps learning life’s lessons under her guidance nothing can stop him in achieving the heights of success.

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The Joy Luck Club

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The main focus in The Joy Luck Club is the complex relationship between mothers and daughters, and the inherent bond that’s always between them despite generational and cultural conflicts. The novel follows June Woo ’s search to understand her deceased mother Suyuan ’s life, supplemented by stories from her mother’s three best friends, Lindo , An-mei , and Ying-ying . June’s memory of her mother is complicated by the revelation that Suyuan had twin baby girls during World War II, but had to leave them in China for their own safety during the Japanese invasion. June questions whether she ever truly knew her mother, but the three older women insist that Suyuan exists deep in June’s bones. The novel, in fact, suggests that the connection between mother and daughter exists beyond the knowledge of personal events; it’s steeped in inherited behaviors and selflessness over the course of a lifetime. An-mei tells a related story about her banished mother returning home to care for An-mei’s dying grandmother, Popo ; her mother goes so far as to cut out a piece of her arm to prepare special medicine. The physical sacrifice represents the lengths that some daughters go to honor their mothers.

In contrast, the daughters of the Joy Luck Club members share stories about the difficulties of growing up with immigrant mothers. Cultural values clash as the American-born daughters want freedom from their mothers’ old-fashioned beliefs. Yet by the end, the daughters discover their overbearing mothers have always had their best interests at heart. Ying-ying’s daughter Lena tries to hide her impending divorce, but her mother wants to help her rediscover the “tiger side” of her Chinese identity, which fights and does not yield to sadness. Though initially ashamed to reveal such a failure to her mother, Lena realizes her mother fundamentally understands her decisions, as they share similar personal histories and values. As the standalone stories weave together in The Joy Luck Club , they expose how boundless maternal love can be, even when daughters misunderstand or undervalue it. As June meets her half-sisters for the first time in China, she feels her mother’s presence with them, dispelling any doubt about understanding her mother’s lifelong intentions. Though she cannot know every detail of her mother’s history, June preserves the lessons that Suyuan taught her as a child, and the deep love for family to share with her new half-sisters.

Mother-Daughter Relationships ThemeTracker

Mother-Daughter Relationships Quotes in The Joy Luck Club

In America I will have a daughter just like me. But over there nobody will say her worth is measured by the loudness of her husband’s belch. Over there nobody will look down on her, because I will make her speak only perfect American English.

“This feather may look worthless, but it comes from afar and carries with it all my good intentions." And she waited, year after year, for the day she could tell her daughter this in perfect American English.

I’m shaking, trying to hold something inside. The last time I saw them, at the funeral, I had broken down and cried big gulping sobs. They must wonder how someone like me can take my mother’s place. A friend once told me that my mother and I were alike, that we had the same wispy hand gestures, the same girlish laugh and sideways look. When I shyly told my mother this, she seemed insulted and said, "You don’t even know little percent of me! How can you be me?" And she’s right. How can I be my mother at Joy Luck?

Not know your own mother? How can you say? Your mother is in your bones!

My mother took her flesh and put it in the soup. She cooked magic in the ancient tradition to try to cure her mother this one last time. She opened Popo’s mouth, already too tight from trying to keep her spirit in. She fed her this soup, but that night Popo flew away with her illness. Even though I was young, I could see the pain of the flesh and the worth of the pain.

I once sacrificed my life to keep my parents’ promise. This means nothing to you, because to you promises mean nothing. A daughter can promise to come to dinner, but if she has a headache, if she has a traffic jam, if she wants to watch a favorite movie on TV, she no longer has a promise.

I had no choice, now or later. That was how backward families in the country were. We were always the last to give up stupid old-fashioned customs. In other cities already, a man could choose his own wife, with his parents’ permission of course. But we were cut off from this new type of thought. You never heard if ideas were better in another city, only if they were worse.

All these years I kept my true nature hidden, running along like a small shadow so nobody could catch me. And because I moved so secretly now my daughter does not see me. She sees a list of things to buy, her checkbook out of balance, her ashtray sitting crooked on a straight table. And I want to tell her this: we are lost, she and I, unseen and not seeing, unheard and not hearing, unknown by others

"I don’t believe you. Let me see the book." "It is written in Chinese. You cannot understand it. That is why you must listen to me."

“You can’t tell me because you don’t know! You don’t know anything!” And the girl ran outside, jumped on her bicycle, and in her hurry to get away, she fell before she even reached the corner.

I was six when my mother taught me the art of invisible strength. It was a strategy for winning arguments, respect from others, and eventually, though neither of us knew it at the time, chess games.

I saw what seemed to be the prodigy side of me – because I had never seen that face before. I looked at my reflection, blinking so I could see more clearly. The girl staring back at me was angry, powerful. This girl and I were the same. I had new thoughts, willful thoughts, or rather thoughts filled with lots of won’ts. I won’t let her change me, I promised to myself. I won’t be what I’m not.

“You want me to be someone that I’m not!” I sobbed. “I’ll never be the kind of daughter you want me to be… I wish I wasn’t your daughter. I wish you weren’t my mother,” I shouted. As I said these things I got scared. It felt… as if this awful side of me had surfaced at last... And that’s when I remembered the babies she had lost in China, the ones we never talked about. “I wish I’d never been born!” I shouted. “I wish I were dead! Like them.” It was as if I had said the magic words Alakazam!—and her face went blank.

To this day, I believe my mother has the mysterious ability to see things before they happen. She has a Chinese saying for what she knows. Chunwang chihan : if the lips are gone, the teeth will be cold. Which means, I suppose, one thing is always the result of another.

That’s what she is. A Horse, born in 1918, destined to be obstinate and frank to the point of tactlessness. She and I make a bad combination, because I’m a Rabbit, born in 1951, supposedly sensitive, with tendencies toward being thin-skinned and skittery at the first sign of criticism.

And my mother loved to show me off, like one of the many trophies she polished. She used to discuss my games as if she had devised the strategies… and a hundred other useless things that had nothing to do with my winning.

“A mother is best. A mother knows what is inside you," she said above the singing voices. "A psyche-atricks will only make you hulihudu , make you see heimongmong ."

The minute our train leaves the Hong Kong border and enters Shenzhen, China, I feel different. I can feel the skin on my forehead tingling, my blood rushing through a new course, my bones aching with a familiar old pain. And I think, My mother was right. I am becoming Chinese.

"You don’t understand," I protested. "What I don’t understand?" she said. And then I whispered, "They’ll think I’m responsible, that she died because I didn’t appreciate her." And Auntie Lindo looked satisfied and sad at the same time, as if this were true and I had finally realized it.

I look at their faces again and see no trace of my mother in them. Yet they still look familiar. And now I also see what part of me is Chinese. It is so obvious. It is my family. It is in our blood. After all these years, I can finally be let go.

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• My Mother Essay

An Introduction to the Essay

The word Mother is a very pious word and whosoever is called by the name ‘Mother’ is a person who sacrifices and prioritizes her children over anything. Her whole Life revolves around the well-being of her child, their growth, their development, and their welfare. A Mother not just only gives birth to a child but she takes a Lifelong commitment to take care of her child. 

The only unconditional love in the world is the mother's love. My mother is my inspiration, my superhero, my best friend, and my guiding light. My life would not have been beautiful without my mother. Through ups and downs and in every step of life, she holds my hand and supports and encourages me. No matter what happens, my mother is always there beside me- cheering me up and motivating me. All mothers in the world are great and so, we should not celebrate their contribution in our life on Mother's Day only, which is 10th May, but every day of the year and throughout their life. It is because no gesture of appreciation is ever enough when it comes to acknowledging our mother. Her selfless love and sacrifice are the precious of all gifts under the sun.

An Essay on Mothers

My Mother- The Multi-Tasker

Mothers play an important role in everyone’s Life since she acts as a Protector, a Friend, and Guide for Life. A Mother does everything selflessly for her child and without any condition. There the love of a Mother is known to be Unconditional. 

The way she manages my family with utter dedication and devotion is inspiring. The relationship with my mother is something very hard to explain. I do not merely love her because she is my mother and we should respect our elders. I love her because she is my world and when I was not able to speak and communicate she took care of me, time and time again. The best part about my mother is that even though I have grown older she knows and understands my needs without me speaking a word. I learned kindness and love from her. She taught me no matter how bad a situation might get, only love can improve it in the most effective way. She has been the rock-solid pillar of my life and in every big moment of my life. 

My Mother has constantly supported me throughout my entire Life, whenever I am in a danger or in a situation where I am stuck, she has always been there for me, protected me, and guided me. She has been my favorite teacher who has taught me about Life and the beauty of it. She is the essence of truthfulness, sincerity, and lots of love. The only person who holds our family together is my Mother. She cares for everyone in the house and for the ones in need outside the house as well. One of the most beautiful things that I learned from my mother is empathy. Be it strangers or animals, she treats everyone equally which makes her more amazing. Moreover, she taught me to not hurt anyone on purpose and help people whenever possible. Not only this but also she taught me to not differentiate among rich or poor, beautiful or ugly. She says that it is the heart of a person that makes them beautiful and rich and not temporary possessions. 

My Mother is my constant source of encouragement, be it in Life or in school for studies. She has always inspired me to do other activities along with my studies. She has taught me to enjoy every aspect of Life and live Life to the fullest. She wants me to do those things in Life as well which she could not do or pursue. She is my backbone for everything. My mother has inspired me through her hard work and sacrifices. She taught me once never to get disheartened by failure and to keep challenging the failure with our honest effort. And one day, failure will pave the path to our success. The strength of facing hurdles and overcoming it is what I have learned from her. 

Mothers have never-ending qualities even though they do not get much credit for their goodness and hard work. She binds everyone in the family and plays a very important part in everyone’s Life. Even when I do something wrong in Life, she scolds me but at the same time, she makes me understand and helps me to get out of the situation. She forgives me after every mistake but ensures that I’ve realized my mistake first. She is the most selfless human being I have ever encountered in my life till now.

My mother knows me in and out. Even if I am lying she catches me immediately and I start feeling guilty. We should never lie to our parents and especially, to our mother. They simply do not deserve it. Mothers spend a significant part of their lives making us capable of standing on our own feet. Sometimes, they have to sacrifice their own career and happiness for that. So a mother's trust should never be destroyed. And when it comes to my mother, I would not change a bit about her. She is the best chef, reading partner, and an independent working woman who can balance almost everything with utmost perfection. Even her imperfection makes me proud of her. Without my mother, I would never become a better human being. My Mother is my biggest strength and makes me, even more, stronger when I go through all my ups and downs in life. The best thing she possesses is her patience. The patience she has is difficult for anyone to have. She deals with every situation in the family, in my life, or even in her Life with so much patience because of the reason the family is bonded so strongly. It is the responsibility of every child to appreciate their Mothers and give them the love and respect that Mothers deserve.

Study with Vedantu

Students can find all their necessary study materials and learning resources at Vedantu. Along with the Essay on Mothers, students can also find various other Essays on different topics with two ranges of both long and short examples. For more information and details, they can head over to the website of Vedantu. The Vedantu app can also be downloaded and skimmed through for more ease while studying.

FAQs on My Mother Essay

1. What is the role of a mother in a family?

Mothers provide an ideal environment for the family and are the best role model in everyone’s Life. She is the one person everyone in the family can totally depend on in Life. She is the only one who asks every member of the family at the end of each day if they’ve had their proper meals all day long or not.

2. What does a Mother do to provide a comfortable life to her children?

A mother works hard day and night in order to give her children a comfortable life. She teaches her children to believe in themselves and have faith in themselves and never give up on Life. She teaches them moral values and the difference between right and wrong and how one decision in their lives can impact their futures.

Mother-Daughter Relationships in “Two Kinds” by Amy Tan Essay

• To find inspiration for your paper and overcome writer’s block
• As a source of information (ensure proper referencing)
• As a template for you assignment

Amy Tan is a famous American writer who was born in 1952. She is well-known for her novellas about the conflict between mothers and daughters and the difficulties of the Chinese-American experience. Amy Tan’s first book is The Joy Luck Club (1989). It consists of sixteen novellas, which are united by the same characters and by the generational conflict, but also can stand alone themselves (Nagel 277). One of the short stories of this book is called “Two Kinds” , and this very novella will be analyzed in this essay. The purpose of this paper is to provide a summary of “Two Kinds”, and to discuss the causes of differences between mothers and daughters and the moment of the conflict resolution.

First of all, it is important to give a summary of the “Two Kinds”. This novella tells a story about complicated relationships between a mother and her daughter, Jing-mei. Mrs. Woo moved from China to the USA, and now she truly believes that “you could be anything you wanted to be in America” (Tan 132). She aims to find her daughter’s hidden talents, and, after trying many things, decides to send her to piano lessons. Jing-mei, who is determined to prove to her mother that she has no talents, does not put much effort to learn.

A year later, the girl has to perform in a talent show, where she completely fails. After the performance, she refuses to continue piano lessons and has a huge fight with her mother. Mrs. Woo says that there are “only two kinds of daughters: those who are obedient and those who follow their own mind! Only one kind of daughter can live in this house. Obedient daughter” (Tan 136). The next time Jing-mei plays the piano is many years later when Mrs. Woo dies, and she comes to her mother’s house again.

The great difference in ways of thinking may be attributed to a combination of several reasons. The first reason is the age difference and, accordingly, the lack of life experience the daughter has. Jing-mei knows about her mother’s losses, but she cannot fully understand her since she never went through anything like that. Her mother’s desire to make Jing-mei famous seems meaningless and stupid to the child, so she puts no effort into learning something and much effort to prove Suyuan Woo wrong. As to Mrs. Woo, it is evident that she does not understand her child; she forgot what it means to be a nine-year-old. It seems like the daughter and the mother speak different languages, the language of youth and the one of old age, and do not want to try to understand each other.

The second reason is the cultural differences between Suyuan Woo and Jing-mei. According to Borus, the mother is afraid that her daughter “will not have Chinese character” (42). No matter how hard Mrs. Woo believes in the American Dream, she is still Chinese and wants her daughter to be Chinese too. However, the truth is that Jing-mei was born in the USA, she lives in the USA, and she is far away from the Chinese traditions. While her mother organizes a Chinese club that aims at “the preservation of the generational wisdom of a culture” (Hays 54), her daughter is not very interested in that culture. She finds her only talent, to thwart her mother’s ambitions, and sticks to it for many years.

The third reason for the misunderstanding between the mother and the daughter is personality differences. Undoubtedly, the fact that Mrs. Woo and Jing-mei have different characters is evident. It is believed that “at the core of the struggle is the conflict between Suyuan Woo’s belief in America as the land of the unlimited potential and Jing-mei’s more realistic expectations” (Werlock). Mrs. Woo wants her daughter to become famous and successful; Jing-mei, meanwhile, does not have any ambitions and high hopes for the future.

She is an ordinary girl, “not a genius,” and wants to stay the same (Tan 136). From all of the above, one can say that “Two Kinds” is an examination of Chinese-American mother-daughter relationships. Tan believes that it is hard for Jing-mei to support her mother and follow Chinese traditions as her homeland is America (Tan 138). Moreover, this short story portrays a more universal clash of wills between mothers and daughters. The generational conflict exists in every century and every country. Because of age, cultural and personality differences, many mothers and daughters feel the generation gap between them.

It is hard to disagree that the conflict between mothers and daughters is complicated. The title of the story, “Two Kinds”, “refers to two kinds of daughters – Chinese and American – identifying the two perspectives that create the story’s conflict (Kirszner and Mandell 3).

The resolution of the conflict takes place at the end of the story when Jing-mei is thirty years old. After her mother’s death, Jing-mei takes the piano to her home and starts playing, realizing that she still remembers how to do that. After some moments, it appears to her that the two pieces, the “Pleading Child” and the “Perfectly Contented,” are two parts of the same song (Tan 136). That means that a child may be different – pleading and pleased, obedient and following their mind.

To conclude, one can admit that the conflict between generations is very complicated. Although a mother and a daughter may love and understand each other, there are moments when the generation gap appears in their lives. Parents and children are different as they grow up in different times, societies, and circumstances. As misunderstandings cannot be completely avoided, mothers and daughters need to do their best to listen and to understand each other.

Works Cited

Borus, Audrey. Reading and Interpreting the Works of Amy Tan. Enslow Publishing, 2016.

Hays, Sara. “Playing Games as Cultural Expression: Mah Jong, Chess, and Bourré in the Works of Amy Tan and Tim Gautreaux.” Scientia et Humanitas: A Journal of Student Research , vol. 7, 2017, pp. 53-66.

Kirszner, Laurie G., and Stephen R. Mandell. Portable Literature: Reading, Reacting, Writing . Cengage Learning, 2017.

Nagel, James. The American Short Story Handbook . John Wiley & Sons, 2015.

Tan, Amy. “Two Kinds.” The Joy Luck Club . Random House, 2008, pp. 132-144.

Werlock, Abby H. P. Encyclopedia of the American Short Story . Infobase Learning, 2015.

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IvyPanda. (2021, June 28). Mother-Daughter Relationships in “Two Kinds” by Amy Tan. https://ivypanda.com/essays/mother-daughter-relationships-in-two-kinds-by-amy-tan/

"Mother-Daughter Relationships in “Two Kinds” by Amy Tan." IvyPanda , 28 June 2021, ivypanda.com/essays/mother-daughter-relationships-in-two-kinds-by-amy-tan/.

IvyPanda . (2021) 'Mother-Daughter Relationships in “Two Kinds” by Amy Tan'. 28 June.

IvyPanda . 2021. "Mother-Daughter Relationships in “Two Kinds” by Amy Tan." June 28, 2021. https://ivypanda.com/essays/mother-daughter-relationships-in-two-kinds-by-amy-tan/.

1. IvyPanda . "Mother-Daughter Relationships in “Two Kinds” by Amy Tan." June 28, 2021. https://ivypanda.com/essays/mother-daughter-relationships-in-two-kinds-by-amy-tan/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "Mother-Daughter Relationships in “Two Kinds” by Amy Tan." June 28, 2021. https://ivypanda.com/essays/mother-daughter-relationships-in-two-kinds-by-amy-tan/.

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A Reading List of Realistic Portraits of Mothers and Daughters in Literature

Jill talbot on the transformative experience of reading rebecca stead, cheryl strayed, durga chew-bose, and more.

When reading about mothers and daughters, we might feel grateful we didn’t have to endure such conflict and trauma. We might long for what we, ourselves, never had. But then again, we might feel seen. More often, literature reflects troubling, toxic, or estranged mother-daughter relationships than they do healthy, positive, even inspiring ones. Many works of literary prose—novels, essay collections, memoirs—portray relationships between mothers and daughters who embrace the complexity of their respective identities and personalities, of their own and of their mothers/daughters.

One year, I gave my mother Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club in hopes that the novel would speak for me, say what I couldn’t say— I could understand you better if I knew you more, if I knew what you went through, before me.  I remember watching Terms of Endearment , the film adaptation of Larry McMurtry’s novel, in the 1980s every time it came on cable, identifying with Emma’s longing to escape her my mother’s insistences, too young to understand that the conflicts between she and her mother would always leave Emma missing her mother when she was miles and states away, the cords of their landline phones a tether.

When my mother died in 2018, my grief was compounded by how much I didn’t know about my mother, of my mother, and when I had a daughter in 2002, I knew I wanted my daughter to know me, the girl I had been, the young woman I missed, yet often regretted, and the woman I am, as me, as Jill, the woman beyond her mother.

I dedicate the books I write to my daughter, Indie, as an extension of this desire for her to know me, and to know how I saw and see us. I consider them a record—an artifact even. In 2019-2020, as Indie’s senior year of high school began, I wanted to catalog the year, to trace, in real time, the moments before she left home for college. I raised Indie on my own, and her leaving meant that the one person I had shared my life with for eighteen years would be on her own soon, and so would I.

The essays that I began writing in the fall of that year, November, appeared in column in The Paris Review Daily , and they ran each season, each Friday in November, January, March, and August. The Last Year: Essays  is based on that column and focuses on not only that year, the present and pressing moment, but also the past eighteen years of our lives as we looked ahead to the future.

I have been moved, and at times, envious of the mothers and daughters in the books on this list. Whether it’s Jo Ann Beard’s recognition and portraiture of her mother as her own woman or the note Miranda writes her mother to go with her gift at the end of Rebecca Stead’s young adult novel, When You Reach Me , Durga Chew-Bose’s celebrations of the “practical details,” or Adrienne Brodeur’s decision to alter a matrilineal pattern in her family and with her own daughter, all of these books also reveal moments when a mother or a daughter does something wrong, or gets it wrong. Ultimately, these books all include moments—from borrowing a mother’s scarf for the cold walk to school or bringing safety pins to the funeral home so that her gray suit will fit after her illness—that show how some mothers and daughters get it right.

Cheryl Strayed’s memoir, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Trail , begins with the death of her mother from cancer at the age of forty-six. Strayed’s grief is so devastating that she loses the woman she had been before her mother’s death. In an attempt to be “the woman my mother raised,” Strayed hikes the Pacific Crest Trail from the Mojave Desert through California and Oregon to Washington State, alone, in the summer of 1995, at the age of twenty-six—a rugged and arduous trek that allows her to understand she doesn’t want a way out, an escape, but a way in—to herself and to what’s true, and at the center of that is the mother she has carried with her on the trail, the mother she always will carry with her.

When we write about people in our lives, we write them fully—combining the traits we admire and celebrate and love with those qualities we question, the (in)actions or words that confuse or disappoint us—to convey the perplexity of who we are as humans.

Late in the memoir, Strayed hikes on what would have been her mother’s fiftieth birthday. She writes, “I passed by high lakes and crossed over rocky volcanic rocks as the night’s snow melted on the hardy wildflowers that grew among them” as she “painstakingly” creates a mental list of the ways in which her mother had “done wrong.” The length of the items expands as the list progresses, ending on the longest, number seven: “When I was a senior in high school, [my mother] didn’t ask where I would like to go to college. She didn’t take me on a tour….I was left to figure it out on my own.”

After a few more moments of hiking, Strayed thinks, Fuck her , a new layer of grief, this time at what her mother’s early death took away from Strayed—the chance to grow up and “confront her about the things I wished she’d done differently and then grow older and understand that she had done the best that she could.”

Note: My mother loved this book. Beyond To Kill a Mockingbird , it was her favorite. She kept copies to give to friends when they were ill or going through a tough time. “It’s about obstacles and overcoming them,” she always told people. After she died, I found six copies in the house, and I’m grateful to have her copy, the one with her name written in her beautiful handwriting inside the front cover.

Rebecca Stead’s 2009 Newberry Medal winning, When You Reach Me , tells the story of eleven-year-old Miranda and her single mother, living in an apartment in New York City in 1978, the year Miranda’s mother practices for her upcoming appearance on the $20,000 pyramid and Miranda begins receiving anonymous, mysterious notes. Early in the novel, Miranda explains: “[I]t’s because I never had a father that I don’t want one now. A person can’t miss something she never had.”

I read the novel to Indie the year it was published, several chapters at each bedtime. Indie was seven that year—the two of us riveted by the story’s mystery, but mostly drawn to reading about a relationship and a life like ours—a mother stealing supplies from work to cut costs; the way Miranda doesn’t “see” the barrenness of her home until she’s the homes of her friends; the ways they look out for each other. Late in the novel, after Miranda befriends a homeless man (something Indie did at the age of five) by giving him a sandwich, her mother “blows up” at her. And moments later, she comes to Mira’s room to apologize:

“I don’t want to make any more mistakes. I don’t think I can bear to make one more mistake.” When Miranda asks, “What mistakes?” Her mother laughs, “Are you kidding? Where should I start? I’ve made about a million mistakes. Luckily, you outweigh almost all of them.”

I look back at so many of the years that Indie and I struggled financially or with the fact that my position was temporary, and we’d have to move. Again. The nights I blew up in the living room, not at her but at the world, a night she claims not to remember, though there were other times I yelled that she does. Regret will always have a place at the table of any parent’s memories of raising a child. As Miranda says, “Trying to forget doesn’t work. In fact, it’s pretty much the same as remembering.”

While the focus of Beard’s seminal essay collection Boys of My Youth does not solely focus on mothers and daughters, Beard’s mother shines in the first half of the collection. In the preface, Beard recalls a pre-verbal memory—a night in her crib when she cried and cried and could not be consoled by her parents. Years later, when she asks her mother to confirm her memory, as many essayists do with the people we write about, her mother answers: “I don’t remember a night that wasn’t like that.”

Beard’s affection and admiration for her mother, as a young girl to an adolescent and eventually adulthood rings through Beard’s descriptions—the mother who’s smoked the same cigarette for thirty years, (Salem)’ the one who tells her sister, “We got our girls we wanted so bad, didn’t we?”; the one who can end an evening’s fun with one word— bath ; the mother who hangs Hal, Beard’s doll, upside down on the clothesline after an bath time experiment gone awry; the mother who runs to rescue her daughter from a bike accident on a street she wasn’t supposed to be on; and the daughter, the daughter who brings a prescription bottle full of safety pins to the mortuary so that her mother’s pale gray wool suit and pink blouse fit.

The opening chapter of Sarah Perry’s After the Eclipse: A Memoir begins, “I want to tell you about my mother.” The memoir alternates between chapters labeled “before” and “after,” a reference to the night Perry’s mother was murdered in their home as young Sarah, only twelve, hid in her bedroom. The memoir subverts the true crime genre by focusing on the life of the victim, rather than the perpetrator or the details of the crime—casting a glow on the relationship between Perry and her single mother. In the first chapter, across six pages, Perry explains:

My mother was full of energy and passion. She believed in the soul of housecats and in the melancholy of rainy days. She believed in hard work, and the energy she poured into her job—hand-sewing shoes at a factory—seemed boundless . . . She was graced with bright red hair, a golden tone of red I’ve seen only a handful of times….In the short Maine summer, she sunbathed for hours . . we would drive to the ocean just south of Portland. Her favorite thing to collect from the beach was sand dollars, and I loved walking up and down the yellow sand and finding them for her….The clicking of her high heels on our kitchen floor meant happiness to me. . . In her romantic selections, she could have done better, and she could have done worse. She was often imperfect in her own love….Because of her, I will always believe love is possible.

When we write about those we have lost, we have to show readers what has been lost, and Perry’s memoir achieves this in a way that drew out an ache in my chest as I read it through her elegant elegy, not only to her mother, but to the loss of beach walks and car dancing, shared salon visits and sunbathing, the living and the laughter once shared by mother and daughter.

During the first year that Indie was gone, her first year of college, I read Adrienne Brodeur’s Wild Game: My Mother, Her Secret, and Me . It’s a mesmerizing portrait of Brodeur’s mother—a vivacious woman with allure and an affinity for creating feasts “whose aromas alone would entice ships full of men onto the rocks, where she would delight in watching them plumb into the abyss,” identifying her mother as akin to the Sirens of Greek mythology.

The memoir begins on a night when Brodeur’s parents host a cocktail hour and dinner with her father’s best friend and his wife, a night that ends when Brodeur’s mother wakes her daughter, then fourteen, to confide in what would be the beginning of an affair. With this confession, Brodeur’s mother turns her daughter into a confidante, one who helps to orchestrate the ongoing affair for years. When Brodeur’s own daughter turns fourteen, she realizes, “[T]here is something noxious in our matrilineal line. [My mother] was the only mother I had, but she was not the mother I wanted to be….There had to be another way and I owed it to my daughter to find it.”

When I finished the memoir, I told Indie about it during one of our Zoom visits, explaining how it reminded me of us, especially the ending. A few weeks later, Indie read it, crying at the end as I had, once again recognizing the two of us on the page in someone else’s story:

My daughter is almost fourteen—the age I was when my mother woke me to tell me about Ben’s kiss. And although she and I bear a strong resemblance to each other—bone structure, build, coloring—my daughter is fully herself. She and her grandmother have always had a special bond, one that is pure.

Durga Chew-Bose’s debut essay collection, Too Much and Not the Mood , takes its title from a line in Virginia Woolf’s dairy, a bold reference that Chew-Bose’s essays deserve. The essays—contemplative, interrogations of the self and memory—range from ninety-three pages in the opening essay to two pages. They are form-forward essays, as Chew-Bose relies on intricate braiding or collage or enumerated pieces, even an essay in the third person, an objective presentation of the self.

Chew-Bose, at twenty-eight in the essays, lives alone, walks to movies alone, thinks about writing, about a vacuum cord winding along a library floor, about advice her mother gives her in the car one day: “People don’t change,” and Chew-Bose spends pages speculating about their possible meaning. What the persona in these essays never has to wonder about is her mother’s love for her and in turn, her love for her mother.

Chew-Bose describes her “beautiful mother” growing out her gray, wearing a rotation of t-shirts when she’s cooking, doing things in time—”wonderfully exonerative time—peel[ing] two clementines and [making] a cup of tea before unpacking her groceries,” and being nourished by “replenishing ease.” Looking back at her childhood, a time after her parents’ separation, she understands how she was she was too young to notice that her mother bought a new shade of lipstick, Brick, which she still wears today or how angry and rude she was toward any man near her mother, but she remembers the cool touch of her mother’s palm on her forehead before bed, a mother whose love “has never been—not once—hesitant.”

In the last essay of the collection, Chew-Bose sits on the front porch of her parents’ home, listening to the sounds of her mother and father inside cooking dinner—utensils slide in a drawer, the fridge opens and closes. It’s these kinds of quotidian moments that drive Chew-Bose collection and convey, again and again: “This is love; it lives in the practical details.”

In Bring Down the Little Birds: On Mothers, Art, Work, and Everything Else , a lyrical memoir-in-fragments, Carmen Giménez Smith writes about the moment she learned that her second child is a girl: “ Daughter , I whisper to myself. Daughter .” She begins to speculate:

I will infuriate her. She’ll resist the sweaters I pick for her. Often she won’t’ take my calls. She’ll date blond boys of whom I disapprove, wild girls of whom I disapprove. She’ll make an effigy of my disappoint and she’ll marry it. She’ll be me and I’ll hate it.

I will laugh with her at the lady with the dog next door. I will talk to her three days times a day about nothing. She will send me pictures of boyfriends, of girlfriends. She will ask me eagerly, What do you think?

Giménez Smith illuminates the difficulties of being a mother, an artist, a professor, and daughter of an ailing mother—offering realizations and epiphanies that any parent (or person) will recognize, “I was sandwiched between who I was and who I must be.” As a new mother, Giménez Smith looks to her own mother’s example of motherhood as a guide as she wonders, “She had given herself over entirely, but who knows what her dreams were, really?”

______________________________

The Last Year   by Jill Talbot is available via Wandering Aengus Press .

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Home Essay Samples Sociology Family Relationships

"The Joy Luck Club": Exploring Mother-Daughter Relationships

Table of contents, cultural identity and dissonance, the weight of expectations, interpreting language and communication, the legacy of shared experiences, reconciliation and transformation.

• Tan, Amy. "The Joy Luck Club." Penguin Books, 1989.
• Chen, Leng. "Negotiating the Mother-Daughter Paradigm: A Cultural Interpretation of Amy Tan's 'The Joy Luck Club.'" MELUS, vol. 19, no. 3, 1994, pp. 75-88.
• Lee, Rachel. "Negotiating the Divides: The Generation Gap in Amy Tan's 'The Joy Luck Club.'" MELUS, vol. 17, no. 3, 1991, pp. 79-93.
• Ling, Amy. "Cultural Translation and the Writing of 'The Joy Luck Club.'" The Oxford Handbook of Multicultural Identity, edited by Veronica Benet-Martínez and Ying-yi Hong, Oxford University Press, 2014, pp. 495-510.
• Wong, Sau-Ling Cynthia. "Cultural Displacements and the Creation of Asian American Women's Voices in 'The Joy Luck Club.'" MELUS, vol. 19, no. 3, 1994, pp. 5-19.

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Home — Essay Samples — Literature — Breath, Eyes, Memory — The Mother and Daughter Relationship in “Breath, Eyes, Memory”

The Mother and Daughter Relationship in "Breath, Eyes, Memory"

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Introduction, tradition and cultural expectations, trauma and generational burdens, identity and self-discovery, communication and healing.

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A Mother-Daughter Writing Journey

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Alicia López and Sonia Nieto share their cowriting experiences and reflect on writing bravely over the years

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Guest Essay

The Emotion I Didn’t Expect as a New Parent: Regret

By Miguel Macias

A journalist, audio producer and public radio reporter based in Spain.

This essay is part of How to Live With Regret, a series exploring the nature of regret and the role it plays in all our lives. Read more about this project here .

When friends ask me how I’m feeling 18 months after my daughter was born, I usually tell them that it has been wonderful. Sometimes, though, if I’m feeling particularly confessional, I will smile coyly and say: “Well, this is not the life I wanted. But the life I had before was not the life I wanted, either.” I say it in a cheeky, half-joking way, hoping the gravity of the comment will go unnoticed. But it’s not a joke.

Since my daughter, Olivia, was born, I have cycled through a huge range of emotions. I expect many of them would be familiar to any parent: joy, exhaustion, deep love, confusion, wonder, exasperation, happiness, sadness. But there is another, quieter, emotion that comes up every now and then. It’s a feeling that’s so difficult to talk about, so universally taboo, that I feel nervous expressing it even to the people closest to me: regret.

Since I was a teenager, I knew that I did not want to have kids. I did not budge for decades, and I had quite the battery of reasons for feeling this way, from the emotional to the practical — the biggest one being that there were simply too many things I wanted to accomplish in life, and a baby would surely get in the way.

When I was young I dreamed of becoming a famous filmmaker, traveling the world making documentaries. It hardly seemed like a good way to raise a kid. But I also just never had any interest in babies or kids. Rather, I felt resolved, ironclad in my conviction that I would never be a father.

But things change. I settled down. And at 47, my life didn’t look like the one I had once envisioned for myself. To be clear, I have a lot to be proud of. I do work that I care about as a radio producer and reporter, and I’ve been fairly successful. But I didn’t set the world on fire. I am not traveling the globe chasing major stories and winning Oscars. And over time the reasons I’d held onto for why I did not want to have children slowly faded.

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Mom Accidentally Runs 12-Year-Old Daughter Over During First Day School Drop-Off: 'A Tragedy'

The incident took place on Aug. 12 near Booker Middle School in Sarasota, Florida

A 12-year-old girl from Florida is in critical condition after she was accidentally run over by her mom during her first day back at school.

On Monday, Aug. 12 at 7:45 a.m. local time, the driver headed to Booker Middle School in Sarasota to drop the 12-year-old off, the Florida Highway Patrol (FHP) confirmed in a press release obtained by PEOPLE.

The release stated the driver was a 30-year-old female, and that the 12-year-old had been critically injured in the accident.

The FHP confirmed that the student had dropped some markers and pens and bent down to pick them up from under the vehicle. Tragically, however, she did not realize what her daughter was doing and began to drive off, running her over.

“She immediately stopped when she heard her child screaming," FHP Trooper Kenn Watson said, per WFTS-TV .

The student was airlifted to Johns Hopkins All Children's Hospital in St. Petersburg with critical injuries, the FHP's release stated. The incident took place in the right turn lane on Myrtle Street west of Newtown Boulevard.

A Sarasota County Schools spokesperson confirmed the accident to PEOPLE, stating, "A parent accidentally hit their child as the parent was dropping the child off on the street."

"The school district encourages all families to follow district & school safety protocols and use the designated student pickup and drop off areas on school campuses," they added.

Watson said, per the outlet and Fox 13 , “Here we are, day one, and we’ve already had a tragedy."

Tampa Bay Times via ZUMA Press Wire

"We’re hoping this does not happen again, but we have to remember to have that good spatial awareness when you are anywhere around a school zone and most certainly when you are letting your kid out of your vehicle," Watson added.

Never miss a story — sign up for  PEOPLE's free daily newsletter  to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

“You want to avoid being in a hurry and dropping off our kids in the turn lane when we should be directly in front of the school," Watson continued, the publication reported. "This is a tragedy that one hundred percent could have been avoided by simply paying a little more attention and not being in a hurry."

Per WFTS-TV, the school's principal LaShawn Frost sent a message to parents confirming the accident.

"This serves as a reminder of the importance of following our established safety procedures," Frost said, according to the outlet. 

"Please remember that students should not be dropped off in the middle of Myrtle Street. This practice poses a significant risk to our students' safety and the safety of others on the road. We kindly ask that all parents and guardians follow the designated drop-off procedures by using the parent loop. This ensures that students enter the school safely and helps us maintain a secure environment for everyone," the principal added.

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Simone Biles’ Birth Mother Wants to Make ‘Amends’: ‘Let’s Move Forward’

Shanon Biles told the Daily Mail in an exclusive interview Tuesday that she is ready to make amends with her daughter, Simone, the most decorated Olympic gymnast in history, following her four-medal winning performance in Paris.

“I’m waiting for the opportunity, but I’m waiting on her to be able to come to me,” Biles told the outlet. “Let’s sit down. I just have to be patient.”

Shanon and Simone have been estranged since 2000 when Shanon signed away Simone and her sister Adria’s adoption papers. The two were then raised by Ron and Nellie, Simone’s maternal grandparents.

“When we signed the [adoption] papers, it was like my dad flipped a switch on me—no communication, don’t call, and don’t visit. That’s how it was at the beginning,” Shanon told The Daily Mail in 2016.

Shanon added, “It took me six years before I saw my children again.”

Simone Biles Doesn’t Regret Beef With Former Olympic Teammate MyKayla Skinner

At the time Shanon was dealing with drug and alcohol addiction and had frequent run ins with the law for drinking and driving, assault and drug possession. But she told the Daily Mail she is now sober.

“I am a recovering addict and will always be an addict. But there’s a way [to recovery]. You have to learn to stay away from people, places and things. Change your routine and live your life. Live your best life,” Shanon told the outlet.

Shanon, who had $34 to her name in 2018, according to a bankruptcy filing, now works as a cashier at a Save A Lot.

“I’m not the person I used to be. I’m okay, today. I’m a loving person. I’d give you the shirt off my back,” she said. “I’m very different from what I’ve been portrayed.”

Simone Biles of the United States poses for a photo with her three Olympic gold and one silver medal after day three of the gymnastics event finals in Paris.

Shanon told the British tabloid in 2016 that her conversations with Simone are brief: “I miss you, I love you, I can’t wait to see you, I’m proud of you, I’m watching. You go girl,” Shanon relayed one example.

Shanon also derided the media and Ron’s treatment of her in 2016.

“I feel like he didn’t have to be so harsh about it,” she told TMZ . “He could’ve been a little bit more classy with it. He didn’t have to put me under the bus.”

Ron did a sit down interview with NBC in 2016, telling the outlet “her (Simone’s) mother had many problems whether with drugs or alcohol. Her kids were eventually taken away from her.”

Shanon said she speaks to and hears about Simone through Ron, although she said she has a direct line to Simone, which she won’t use.

Simone Biles of the United States competes her floor routine at the Paris 2024 Olympic Summer Games.

“I do have a direct number, but I won’t use it. I want her to reach out to me,” she said. “It hasn’t happened yet, but I have patience. I’m waiting on her.”

Shanon added that she would like “to sit down and talk” with Simone “and answer any questions (she) may have. I don’t know what you’ve been told but I want you to hear the real deal.”

Read more at The Daily Beast.

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Mother arrested after I-75 moped crash that killed daughter

CORBIN, Ky. (WKYT) - A Kentucky mother has been arrested in connection with a moped crash that killed her 10-year-old daughter in Whitley County.

The crash happened around 11 p.m. on Sunday, August 4, along I-75 in Whitley County.

According to Danisha Martin’s criminal complaint, she admitted to knowing Darius Wade had been drinking before driving a moped with her daughter on it.

Police say they crashed into another vehicle that night.

Wade and the child were flown to UK Hospital, where the girl died.

Martin is charged with complicity to murder.

Other charges in the case are possible.

We’ll keep you updated.

Copyright 2024 WKYT. All rights reserved.

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2 people, pet killed in deadly Kentucky shooting

Two people, pet killed in deadly Kentucky shooting

First-day tragedy: Student, struck by mom's car in drop-off line, in critical condition

A Florida middle school student was in critical condition Tuesday after she was ran over while being dropped at a middle school in Sarasota on Monday, the first day of school, said Florida Highway Patrol.

“I honestly was just wiping tears,” Myra Moore, a mom who drove her kids to school when she witnessed the aftermath of the incident, told WFLA . “I said I cannot imagine what should be a happy day, a joyous day, just turned into tragedy so quickly.”

On Monday, at around 7:45 a.m., the student was struck by the SUV after getting out of the passenger side of the vehicle, according to the Sarasota Herald-Tribune , part of the USA TODAY Network. She dropped pens and markers, bent over to pick them up from under the vehicle, investigators said. Without knowing the child was under the car, the driver drove the vehicle forward, according to a Florida Highway Patrol statement emailed to USA TODAY.

The student is in critical condition and was airlifted to All Children's Hospital.

Mother runs over student, states reports

The driver, 30, is the mother of the victim, a 12-year-old middle school student, reports WFLA and ABC Action News.

The student went under the car after she dropped her things, her mom didn't realize she was there and drove forward.

The victim's mom, who reportedly drove a Lincoln Navigator SUV, stopped immediately stopped the car when "she heard her child screaming," FHP Trooper Kenn Watson explained told ABC Action News.

“Here we are, day one, and we’ve already had a tragedy," said Watson. "We’re hoping this does not happen again, but we have to remember to have that good spatial awareness when you are anywhere around a school zone and most certainly when you are letting your kid out of your vehicle.”

Contributing: Steven Walker, Sarasota Herald-Tribune

Julia is a trending reporter for USA TODAY. She has covered various topics, from local businesses and government in her hometown, Miami, to tech and pop culture. You can connect with her on  LinkedIn  or follow her on  X, formerly Twitter ,  Instagram  and  TikTok : @juliamariegz