band 6 advanced english essay example

English Advanced – All Essays + Mod C Discursive & Creative incl. reflections

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Resource Description

These essays + Mod C pieces are the base pieces I memorised for my HSC (2020), adapting them to the question during the test 🙂 These are by no means perfect, but I got a band 6 for English so I hope they give you some ideas – especially if you\’re last minute cramming! The Mod C piece I used in the actual exam was the creative piece, and I did not have to use the reflection, but I included all the pieces just in case 🙂 Good luck everyone <3

Common Mod – All The Light We Cannot See

Mod A – Plath and Hughes

Mod B – King Henry IV Part I

Discursive Mod C – ‘Human Bookshelf

Discursive Reflection – Gwen Harwood’s Father and Child

Discursive Reflection – Geraldine Brooks’ A Home In Fiction

Mod C Imaginative – Cold Connotations

Imaginative Reflection – Name Le’s Love and Honour and Pity and Pride and Compassion and Sacrifice

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HSC Advanced English Band 6 Notes + Essay Examples (The Tempest & Hagseed)

These are my band 6, in depth study notes for English Advanced, Module A, analysing The Tempest and Hagseed.

These highly detailed notes contain a seperate analysis for each theme/idea converging between both texts, analysing both similarities and differences. The notes are structured into tables that contain the idea, evidence and analysis, making it easy to transfer this information into an essay paragraph. There are 6 main ideas that are thoroughly analysed.

In addition to notes, there are a range of polished essay paragraphs, as well as one completed and finalised HSC essay.

They ultimately enabled be to achieve a band in my HSC.

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A guide to acing Year 12 English Advanced

This article discusses the essential strategies for excelling with a band 6 in Year 12 English Advanced HSC. Detailing the English HSC syllabus and modules!

a year ago   •   6 min read

Doing well in Year 12 English seeming like a daunting and hopeless feat? Don't worry, we've all been there.

Let me walk you through exactly what Year 12 English is all about and more importantly, how you can easily SMASH A BAND 6 in this mystical and elusive subject.

Year 12 English Advanced is composed of four modules: Common Module, Mod A, Mod B and Mod C, each of which demands you to write about different concepts and in various structures. This subject is assessed through internal assessments, then in two papers during the HSC (yes unfortunately the English HSC is two exams over two days):

• Paper 1 (90 minutes + 10 minutes reading time): Common Module
• Paper 2 (120 minutes + 5 minutes reading time): Modules A, B and C

What to expect?

The common module  - texts and human experiences.

The very first topic is the ‘Common Module’, otherwise known as ‘Texts and Human Experiences’. The rubric for this feels frustratingly vague. To make it easier for you, here’s a quick rundown of the main concepts!

• Human experiences : Any experiences involved in being human! (human connection, our desire for community, self-expression, our response to hardship, our survival instinct)
• Human qualities : Things that make us human and thus shape our human experiences (emotions, love, empathy, self-expression, rational thought, community.)
• Behaviours and motivations : Consider how our motivations influence our behaviours, and then what influences our motivations.
• Individual vs collective experiences: The duality and tension between having unique individual experiences, and having common collective experiences (think about our desires to conform and belong but also our need to be a unique individual).
• Anomalies, paradoxes, inconsistencies : This dives into the complexities of being human, we aren't all black and white. Most of the time behaviours and motivations don't quite make sense and they seem contradictory and misaligned with expectations, (The example above was a good one, how can we simultaneously want conformity and individuality at the same time?)

This module, as you've heard, is all about the human experience. But what does that actually mean? Well, from reading texts you are supposed to not only understand the plot but go deeper and understand what the composer is trying to say about humanity. The key takeaway from this module is that society and human behaviour are reflected in literature and it is in reading literature that we get a better understanding of how humans behave and interact with the world.

For the HSC you will be required to answer a series of unseen short responses and a 45-minute essay on your prescribed text.

• Start practising unseen short-response questions early on in the year. It will quickly become second nature and you won't have to worry about learning it in the midst of exam cram chaos. It also sharpens your annotating and analysing skills which will help you in later modules. Do as many old HSC and trial papers as you can find and most importantly make sure you get feedback on your work to ensure you are improving every time!!
• For the essay portion, it's good to start planning essays early. Rather than taking notes like you would in chemistry or business studies, create a quote table throughout the term and turn them into essay plans. This will put you miles ahead come final exams.

Module A - Textual Conversations

Module A or ‘Textual Conversations’ is a comparative module where you study two intertextually connected prescribed texts, with the later text in some way influenced by the earlier. The aim is to understand how they align or collide upon common issues, values and perspectives. Why and how? Why did the later composers make the choices they did when they decided to mirror or reimagine certain aspects of the earlier text? Your essay should have a heavy focus on context and form and how they influence meaning in a text!

Likewise to common mod, you want to be compiling your quotes and ideas as you study the text throughout the term. This is a good template to fill out if you are unsure of how to structure your ideas and later on this will provide the perfect ground-work for you to construct your essays. Ensure a really good understanding of context and it influenced changes in the texts.

Module B - Critical Study of Literature

Module B deals with the ‘Critical Study of Literature’, which is simultaneously the most and the least straightforward module. This module requires you to explore your personal perspective on a prescribed text, as well as evaluate the opinions of others. (Quick tip: personal perspective does not mean you need to write ‘Yes I like this text. Fun read’, but rather that you are able to make insightful and unique points of analysis still in third person.) Module B also requires reading critical reviews to develop a deep and nuanced understanding of your texts and then supporting or countering these views in your own essay.

The main aim of your essay is to argue why the text has textual integrity , which we can define as these two aspects:

• How do all the different elements of the text come together to create a cohesive work/collection of work that has unity in its concepts?
• What makes the text significant? Why does it still have value? What sort of universal message does the composer communicate that makes the text timeless?

Module C - The craft of writing

Module C or ‘The Craft of Writing’ is exactly what it sounds like. We focus on the construction of texts, first by studying how composers represent their ideas in an extensive list of prescribed texts, and then through composing our own pieces of writing.

There are three main skills that you’re expected to develop in this Module:

• Analysing texts and understanding how composers use various language techniques to communicate their ideas
• Composing a short piece of writing. There are three main forms of writing that you’re expecting to be familiar with: the narrative, the persuasive and the discursive.
• Being able to reflect on your writing process in a reflective paragraph. In this paragraph you should be able to discuss the main idea in your writing, the relevant language techniques you utilised to represent your idea, and how you drew inspiration from 2+ prescribed texts.

How do you prepare for the craft of writing? In my opinion, this one is the hardest to study for. I mean how is one supposed to study creative writing? Well, there is only one way and some of you might not like the answer - READING!! Unless you read a wide variety of stories (ideally short stories because that is what will be asked of you in the HSC) you won't be able to write well. You need to find inspiration, discover and employ unique stylistic techniques and understand the elements that go into making a good story. Otherwise, your work will sound vague, generic and cliche. My best advice is to find yourself an author whose writing style you really like and mimic it in your own work.

Some  recommendations are;

• Samsa in Love by Murakami
• The Second Bakery Attack by Murakami
• There will come soft rains by Ray Bradbury
• Hills like white elephants by Ernest Hemingway
• The Lottery by Shirely Jackson

Want more personalised tips to drastically improve your English mark? A private tutor can make the biggest difference!

Written by KIS Academics Tutor for NSW English, Angela Wang. Angela is currently pursuing a Bachelor of Medical Studies/Doctor of Medicine at UNSW and loves helping students reach their academic goals! You can view Angela’s profile here and request her as a tutor.

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How to Write a Band 6 Essay

Every year 11 and 12 student has essay writing as a crucial element of their matriculation. English is a compulsory subject for students completing both the HSC and IB, with essays the prominent feature of both English courses. For HSC students, you should be aiming to write Band 6 level essays (the highest mark bracket), and IB students should aim to achieve 7’s (Band 6 equivalent) in their essays. 

TutorTime’s top tips to writing a Band 6 Essay:

• Create a thorough and sophisticated essay plan 

What’s your initial reaction to the question? Do you agree, and if so, why? Do you disagree, and if so, why? Don’t try to fabricate the correct response in line with the paragraphs you have prepared.  

Don’t be afraid to disagree with the question, or to agree partially. The best essays have sophisticated theses. Markers don’t want you to completely agree with the question.  

Think about the wider context. If you come to a conclusion, e.g. Eliot characterises the individual experience as depressing, ask yourself why he does this. Remember, in English everything is a metaphor or emblematic of something bigger. Even if it seems silly, conclude that your themes are metaphors for “the greater…”. This is how you can turn themes into techniques.

• Understand the rubric 

For HSC students, you should have a thorough understanding of the rubric for each module. These can be located on the NESA website. You may want to make a mind map out of the key rubric words. Band 6 essay’s integrate rubric words and phrases into their theses and throughout the essay. 

• Answer the question

This may seem obvious, but many students underestimate the importance of answering the essay question not just once, but constantly and consistently throughout their essays. A trick you may want to try is to write the question in big font and place it next to your laptop so you ensure you are constantly referring back to what is being asked. Reread your essay every time you add a new paragraph to make sure it answers the question.

• Use your paragraphs to take the marker on a journey 

Each paragraph of your essay should discuss your thesis and the essay question at a different angle. For example, if your thesis is “Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet suggests love is an overwhelming human experience”, your first paragraph could interrogate the overwhelming experience of love from the perspective of the individual, your second paragraph could offer the perspective of the collective, and your third paragraph may take an entirely different approach and discuss the possibility that love is not an overwhelming experience. 

This technique is called playing devil’s advocate, and the most sophisticated essays often include a paragraph that considers an idea contrary to their thesis. However, if you decide to do this, you must include a sentence or two (with evidence) that explains why this in fact isn’t the case. This ensures that you do not contradict yourself. 

• Choose strong evidence and techniques 

Texts often have many pieces of evidence that can be used to substantiate the same piece of analysis. This allows you to choose the strongest one. Avoid cliché or overused pieces of evidence – for example, an essay about Hamlet should not analyse the quote “to be or not to be” as markers have read this a thousand times before. 

The techniques that you use alongside your evidence should be the strongest ones available. This means that you should prioritise complex techniques such metaphor, pathetic fallacy and enjambment over simple and unimaginative techniques such as visual imagery or evocative language. 

• Avoid repetition and rephrasing the question

Band 6 essays are not repetitive – every word is there because it enhances the argument in a nuanced manner. To avoid repetition, ensure you edit your essay thoroughly. This could include printing it out and going through it with a highlighter, or reading your essay out loud. 

A common mistake students make is to simple rephrase the essay question in their introductions, conclusions and topic sentences. 

For example, if your essay question asks: “Othello, most of all, is a play about a man’s never ending struggle to keep chaos at bay.” To what extent do you agree?

A Band 3-4 essay would start by rewriting the question. However, a Band 6 essay may read: “The personified notion of chaos exists to disrupt, penetrating the individual’s inner psyche to corrupt their morality”. 

Notice that the above sentence does not include the text. You may want to try this in your own essays, starting with a general sentence about the key idea and using your second sentence to introduce your text and author. 

If you or your child is struggling to understand any of the above content or require further advice, contact TutorTime today to book a TutorTime tutor. 

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T.S. Eliot Exemplar Essay - Module B HSC English Advanced

The following essay was written by Fenna Kroon, Project's English Resourcer!

Fenna Kroon

94 in English Advanced

English Advanced Module B Exemplar Essay - T.S. Eliot

Module b essay question.

“When you engage with works of quality you often feel, and continue to feel, that your internal planes have shifted, and that things will never quite be the same again.”

To what extent does this statement resonate with your considered perspective of TS Eliot’s poetry？

Need help analysing texts and writing essays for other modules? Try out classes with our tutors at Project Academy !

HSC English Exemplar Essay Response

Good literature has the power to take us as readers on a journey with the author. This is evident in TS Eliot’s modernist suit of poetry TS Eliot: Selected Poetry, particularly ‘The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock’ (Love Song) (1915) as well as ‘The Hollow Men’ (1925). These texts and their use of literary devices provide readers with a glimpse into another perspective from a time long gone. As a result, our own views and internal planes are challenged and altered. This change is permanent, exposing readers to ideas beyond their own. Thus, these poems have shaped the views of countless individuals and will continue to do so to a large extent.

When confronted with literature that is challenging and engaging, the individual has no option but to ponder its central messages. In ‘Love Song’, Eliot establishes this through prolific use of the Flanuer, connoisseur of the streets and a lonely, observing wanderer. Created within a context of mass urbanisation and mechanisation, this figure walks through new streets and society that is continually changing. Personally, this poem was finished shortly after the death of Eliot’s close friend, Jean Verdenel in the Gallipoli campaign in 1915 and hence this poem encapsulates the futility of conflict as well as modern society. This is evident in the opening lines as the flaneur says “Let us go then you and I / as the evening is spread out against the sky / like a patient etherised on a table.” This stark and confronting juxtaposition mirrors that of the title where ‘love song’, with musical and romantic connotations, is juxtaposed with ‘J Alfred Prufrock’ as a proper noun. This consequently results in readers immediately feeling uncomfortable as their expectations for what to expect within traditional poetry are crushed. Exacerbated through repetition as he writes “There will be time, there will be time.”, Eliot comments on how his society has made him passive, procrastinating the search for meaning with temporary satisfactions. He further comments on British high society, questioning whether “Should I, after tea and cake and ices, have the strength to force this moment to its crisis?”. Here, Eliot and the flaneur are begging themselves to find the strength to create their own meaning in society. Thus, they reach out to the audience to change their ways，acting as a cautionary tale for the ambivalence the two experience. Finally, this is exemplified as Eliot writes “I have seen moments of my greatness flicker” and the visual connotation of achievements as flickering like a candle indicate how Eliot believes that a modernist society inhibits individuals from being their own person and finding meaning. As John Xiros Cooper so effectively summarised, “[modernist society] make us passively abject.” This highlights how Eliot’s context minimised his ability to find peace and understanding. Within a world of upheaval, the individual becomes lost. Reading this as a contemporary audience, it is impossible to ignore our own suffocating society of change. Consequently, this poem allows for readers to understand the futility of their attempts of finding the meaning of life and existence. This ultimately shifts their internal understanding irrevocably and unchangingly.

Further, the futility of life and religion leave readers with no guidance or advice in finding continuity. This is evident in Eliot’s The Hollow Men, which uses an extended metaphor of the river Styx (the purgatorial border between life and death) and intertextual references to establish the meaningless nature of a life without faith. After suffering a nervous breakdown and institutionalisation in 1921, this poem is a manifestation of this desolation and pain. Evident as he writes “This is the dead land. This is the cactus land.” the allusion to Dante’s Divine Comedies, a text discussing hell and purgatory, it becomes evident that the setting of the poem is one of indecision and judgement. This is further established through the epigraph alluding to Guy Fawkes, “A penny for the old guy”and to Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness as he writes “Mistah Kurtz - he dead”. Both these allusions discuss legacy and how you’re remembered once you die. Fawke’s death is celebrated by children to this day, with Mr Kurtz repenting on his deathbed, begging “What have I done?”. Consequently, Eliot’s inclusion of these two epigraphs at the beginning of his poem create lingering questions of what death means and what an unsatisfying life means. Hence, as he writes “We are the Hollow men. We are the stuffed men.”, the inclusive language of ‘we’ draws all readers into the discussion of whether they’ve lived a worthy life. Eliot links this to religious pursuits as he writes “Lips that should kiss / form prayers to broken stone”. This alludes to Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, comparing their romance to the paradoxical nature of religion. Providing both a mechanism for damnation in Hell as well as eternal salvation，Eliot questions whether a religious life would in any form change his circumstance. Xiros Cooper effectively expands on this, arguing that “We are not surprised when it ends with a defeated stammer”. Essentially, Eliot’s consistent allusions to other texts and metaphors to being ‘hollow’ create a questioning persona surrounding life and religion and its influence on judgement. Consequently, readers are forced to go on this journey with Eliot as they engage with this poem, considering their own answers relating to life, death and purgatory. And, once these questions are in your head, they are impossible to get out.

Having considered Eliot’s suite as a whole，it is evident that his poetry impacts readers on a fundamental level because it discusses issues pertinent to everyone. This is particularly true for The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock and The Hollow Men, discussing the dangers of a changing society and purgatory itself respectively. As a result, the reader’s understanding of themselves and their broader society is fundamentally and permanently altered.

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How to achieve a Band 6 in the HSC English exam 

by Gabby | HSC ENGLISH

There are several areas that are necessary to master in order to perform a high score in the NESA HSC English exams. Let’s see them one by one.

Common Module – What are the underlying assumptions about the human experience?

How do the texts in your comprehension section explore the collective and individual experiences which shape human behaviour and the moral and ethical choices available?

Reading Task

Firstly, try to identify the purpose of the text whilst reading: is it designed to satirise, mock, convey or promote a particular idea? (Remember all forms of texts are ultimately persuasive in nature)

When reading the articles, remember to orientate yourselves:

• Look at the title, consider and predict what the article might be about – by guessing you are already thinking and engaging and this will facilitate your comprehension.
• Look at the beginning and end of the text; this is where you can often discover the purpose.
• As you read be on the look-out for techniques, which you can deconstruct.
• Do not answer a question which asks how the idea is expressed by simply saying “using descriptive or emotive language”. You need to explain what literary or poetic devices are used e.g. simile, metaphor, hyperbole etc.

Answering all these questions requires you to understand the conditions and contexts which contribute to  the human experience  and how effectively they are communicated! To answer ‘effectively’ requires you to cite the techniques e.g. – the use of register, tone, word choice and symbolism.

Section II of the Common Module paper requires you to write an essay. As the Common Module texts have been in place for quite a number of years, examiners are no doubt tired of predictive responses or, worse still, pre-learned essays.  These can come across as a little tired and lacking an edge in original thought and depth. Don’t see the question as an impediment to your rote-learned response, rather look at what the question is asking. The depth of response can be formulated by considering the assumptions that underscore the very nature of the question itself:

• Why has the examiner chosen this question?
• Is this really what the writer was trying to communicate?

Modules A and B

Both HSC Advanced English modules require your understanding of how the composer’s context and his or her audience informs on our understanding of the text. This must be established in your essay.

For example, Hamlet may well be a Prince torn between the Renaissance values of his world and his belief in the church, and of course Shakespeare’s audience would have understood this; but what about us as a contemporary audience? What ideas in the text find resonance in our world today?

Be sure to consider not only how the contexts of each composer have given rise to the ideas of the core texts but also why they are studied side by side. How might the concerns of previous historical and cultural contexts find relevance still today? For example:

• Are any of Virginia Woolf’s concerns echoed in ‘The Hours’ (despite in the shifting contexts)? If so, why?
• Are any of Shakespeare’s concerns echoed in ‘Looking for Richard’ (despite in the shifting contexts)? If so, why?

Consider the integrity of the text. This refers to the components, which have allowed the text to stand the test of time. Ideas, language features and other poetic, dramatic or literary devices are part of what allows the text to retain its integrity. The context of the composer and his or her audience informs on our understanding of the text.

• Module C: The Craft of Writing

In this section of the exam, you’ll be asked to write on a creative discursive or persuasive piece of writing. Please refer to my blog entitled ‘ Module C: The Craft of Writing How to write a creative writing piece ’ .

One of the harder aspects for many students is to reflect on the textual inspiration they have received from their set text. You may wish to consider how your set text expresses some of these features:

• Register and tone
• Intertextual referencing
• Symbolism and figurative language
• Stream of consciousness

These features are some that you may wish to adopt in your own creative presentation.

Preparing for the HSC English Exams

Learn the ways you can express features of language and know how to identify them e.g. personification, sibilance, metaphor, simile etc.

Write several essays for the Common Module (human experience), Module A and Module B; consider writing on those topics that might otherwise confuse you.

Many students write notes and study quotes – but you still need to know how to formulate an essay. Look at as many questions as you can and, rather than simply making notes, write the essays.

Try and tackle difficult questions so as not to fall into the trap of writing generic essays, as you believe they can be better manipulated to the suit the question. The real exercise is whether you can apply your knowledge to any question, and if you don’t practice you won’t know.

Answering questions on any essay topic

Consider the following:

• How accurately does the question reflect the ideas at the core of the text?
• Is the question provocative in nature or does it simply require corroboration or a rejection of the thesis set down? For example: sometimes questions require your weighing up of the author’s intention, his or her ideas and the way they’re expressed.
• Questions that ask you to discuss are generally straightforward and, whilst requiring you to discuss the topic at hand, may still require that you negate the thesis postulated.
• Many questions ask your opinion. This is no different to any other question as your thesis is exactly what you think – do not answer the question with ‘I think’ as what you think is already assumed. The question is asked as many students rely too heavily on critical theorists without having determined their own opinion.
• The most important consideration in any essay (and the feature that separates an average response from a more advanced one) is  why . Why has the composer explored the ideas at hand? Too many students focus on what the ideas are and how they are represented. Including why should yield a relationship between the writer’s world of imagination and their context.

The Essay structure for all modules

Your introduction should be concise but have a clear thesis (an argument) which sets out your response to the question and hopefully includes what, why and how the author/film director has imparted his or her ideas.

“What” would probably reflect the ideas at the core of the text. “Why” should most likely include the composer’s context, and “how” should refer to the features of language or cinematic techniques used. Each paragraph should aim to answer the question preferably in the opening of the paragraph as this is the initial impression formed by markers.

The topic sentence (opening sentence) should incorporate the theme or idea of your paragraph whilst at the same time answering the question at hand. The more often you link back to your thesis and to the question, the more comprehensive and succinct your essay will appear.

Pitfalls in exams

• Do not story-tell – provide evidence! Too many students use the plot as a way to advance their arguments. We know the plot; you need to provide the purpose and evidence. Commence your sentence starters with verb of purpose.  The writer: conveys, portrays, dismantles, questions or satirises. In this way, you will be forced to advance an opinion rather than a rehashing of the plot.
• Many students forget to watch the time. You cannot afford to go over the set time. Forty minutes per question.
• Underline the key parts of the question.
• Sometimes a word may throw you off in an exam. Remember: you know more than you think from the context. You know if it’s a noun, verb or an adjective. All these skills should help you discern the meaning of the word.
• Always consider the beginning and end of your text and the way it informs on the text as a whole.

More stumbling blocks

Terms that often confuse students.

• “Dramatic features” refers to soliloquies, dramatic irony, characterisation, plot, language and symbolism.
• “Narrative style” refers to the way the text is composed.
• “Consider the narrative style ” refers to how it reflects the ideas and often the context underscoring the text, e.g. Virginia Woolf’s text – witty, exploratory, and satiric. Her narrative style often shifts to a stream of consciousness, which challenges the conventional writing styles of her time.

Using critical theorists and material

All knowledge is useful but you must first determine your own understanding – always providing support from the text. Once you have determined your own opinion you may use critical theorists to either affirm your view or as a springboard to offer an alternate perspective. It is refreshing for examiners to read ideas which may be different – as long as they can be substantiated.

Textual referencing 

This is essential to any essay and the quotes chosen must enable you to not only cite an example, but convey the way meaning is shaped! Remember that in deconstructing meaning, you must not write about the linguistic or cinematic techniques as if they were in a vacuum – but instead as part of your ability to add to your understanding and the power of the text. Consider the following:

• Don’t just cite the technique as a metaphor or simile when deconstructing your evidence or if writing about a film, or writing about a long shot on screen; explain why and how it contributes to meaning.
• Consider why a particular aspect of your text moves you; the chances are, it is the way it is expressed.
• Draw from the whole text – don’t restrict your answers to the beginning or end of a text.

All Modules require an understanding of the correlation between representation and meaning. 

Put simply: how is the text represented (the techniques or images used) and what kind of meaning is imparted?

Students must understand that the English Syllabus has been influenced by postmodern understanding in its inception and so the relationship between representation and meaning has to be examined.

Representation refers to the way a writer or speaker represents a personality, event, or idea. This representation is clearly tied up with:

• The nuanced nature of language itself and the slippery nature of symbolism (slippery as symbolism may impart a myriad of interpretations).
• Our own cultural interpretation and the ‘signification’ we bring to language.
• The textual medium itself – (film, novel or autobiography) and its power of persuasion.

Meaning is difficult to establish, as it is largely dependent on how we interpret the representation of an event, personality, or concept (namely, our perspective).

Meaning will be influenced by:

• The credibility and authority of the perspective advanced
•  The bias and prejudice the composer brings to his or her representation
•  The bias and prejudice we bring to the perspective on offer
•  The cultural and normative values that not only consciously and unconsciously influence the speaker or composer but our own cultural points of reference.

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Band 6 Exemplar Discursive Essay

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Vce english units 3 & 4, year 11 english, what is a discursive essay.

A discursive essay is a type of non-fiction writing that explores an idea or thing from different perspectives. To learn more about what a discursive essay is and how to write one, read our article How To Write A Band 6 Module C Discursive Essay .

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Why is the discursive essay important?

Discursive responses have been added to the HSC from 2019 . Many students haven’t written in this form before and therefore most are likely to struggle with it.

Matrix students learn how to write discursive responses in their Year 11 English Term Course and Year 12 English Holiday Course .

This exemplary discursive essay was written by Sydney Girls’ High Student, Eesha Singh. In this discursive response, Eesha explores the effectiveness of an advertising campaign presented as a stimulus.

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Band 6 Year 11 Exemplar Discursive Essay

The 2016 Calvin Klein campaign involved Justin Bieber, a statue of Aphrodite and the word ‘flaunt.’ However, I was drawn to the words ‘#mycalvins.’ Justin Bieber is a famous Canadian singer and a favourite of people all over the world. Using him in their campaign allowed Calvin Klein to reach millions of people across the world. But, just using Bieber wouldn’t inspire people to go out and spend their money on some underwear. I believe that is the reason they used the words ‘mycalvins,’ using ethos to appeal to consumers emotions. By using the word ‘my’ in conjunction with Bieber they gave people a feeling of relatability, making them believe that they were the same as Justin Bieber and he wasn’t a god but instead a human being, just like them.

The rise of social media hasn’t been recent but it has been gradual and has also let fans of celebrities, actors, singers, beauty bloggers etc. into their lives. It allows famous people to connect with their fans without using the tabloids. Through social media, such celebrities showcase the multitude of endorsements that they are a part of and allow their fans to, seemingly, see what they like. The effect of using celebrities? People who have fans? Such fans will notice that the person they look up to, or adore, are using a product or wearing a certain brand and go out and buy the product. This is how social media influencing works. We see celebrities release perfumes, clothing collections, maybe even a type of drink and the second we see their name on it, we think, wow they must love it, and they created it so it must be good: I need to have it! And, thus, a vicious cycle is created. And the same is applied to campaigns. If we see someone we love on a poster, well now I want what they do, wear what they wear. Now, combine this concept with ethos and you have a power duet. The visual version of this is the 2016 Calvin Klein campaign. We have Justin Bieber, a favourite to millions, maybe billions, and we have the words ‘mycalvins.’ People feel that they can relate to this, relate to Justin Bieber, a millionaire, a famous singer, and they want to relate to him. Because if they can relate to him, then maybe, they can be him.

I know that I was also easily influenced by social media and beauty bloggers. As of recently, I went out and purchased a bottle of Black Opium perfume as a beauty blogger that I love to watch recommended it and said she loved it. Now, if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have purchased this perfume or even looked at it. This is the direction that the beauty community is currently heading in. Beauty gurus on Instagram and Youtube are sent packages by makeup brands for them to try and feature on their channels so that their followers will see that they are good and will hence, purchase them. However, if a beauty guru doesn’t like a product and gives the makeup brand a bad review, customers will most likely not purchase the product. A recent example? Jaclyn Hill’s review on Kylie Jenner X Kris Jenner’s makeup collection. She gave them a bad review and, so, the collection flopped and there were limited sales. Here we can see the extent to which one person’s opinion can ruin a collection. However, the opposite is true too, and that is present in the 2016 Calvin Klein campaign. It didn’t just involve Justin Bieber, they also had Bella Hadid, a model, Julian Schneyder, a martial artist, Margot Robbie, an actress and Fetty Wap, a rapper. By doing this they reached out to different types of people who didn’t wear Calvin Klein and that they too should purchase some Calvin’s because all these people loved theirs and wore them to do even the most mundane of things.

Only a year before this campaign, Calvin Klein were still oversexualising their models, including Justin Bieber. Now personally, I didn’t feel that I could relate to this campaign and therefore never had much interest in Calvin Klein. But the fun and carefree campaign of 2016 changed my mind. I could relate to the different things these people were doing and I liked that I could. Especially Justin Bieber. He no longer seemed like an oversexualised god but more like a, sort of, humble human being. And the same could be said for the models and actresses and everyone else. They no longer seemed like a higher power, like a dream of what I could be one day. No, they seemed relatable, as if they were just like me. And that, I feel, is the words ‘mycalvins’ using ethos to change my mind, to make me feel a certain way.

Calvin Klein had such a success with the #mycalvins campaign that they’ve kept it going till 2018. However this year they incorporated a new theme – family. They used the Kardashians and opened up a whole new avenue for them to explore. It helped that two of them were pregnant. But this year’s campaign showed people that Calvin Klein’s are for everyone no matter what age, body type or gender. And that is an important concept for such a massive brand like Calvin Klein to explore, especially now with the rise in equality for all and the fairness for all initiatives trending all over social media.

Calvin Klein have come a long way from 2015 to now. They moved on from oversexualising their models to creating a relatable campaign for customers to look at with #mycalvins and created a new way to market products. But they didn’t stop growing there. They’ve continued to explore what is important to society today and showed that by introducing family and the acceptance of all in their latest campaign with the Kardashian family. Calvin Klein know what people want and know how to showcase their products in such a way to attract positive attention and this plays a part in their exponential rise in popularity, hence leading to millions buying their products. And yet, it all started with just Justin Bieber, a statue of Aphrodite and the word ‘flaunt.’

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IELTS Band 6 Essay Samples

These are IELTS band 6 essay samples that have been given grades (of 6 or 6.5) and basic comments on the score for each criteria by an experienced IELTS instructor. 

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Topic: Wages of Entertainers (band 6)

Some people believe that entertainers are paid too much and their impact on society is negative, while others disagree and believe that they deserve the money that they make because of their positive effects on society. 

Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion. 

The entertainment industry is one of the largest sectors in all around the world. Some think that the people who work in that industry earn too much money considering their bad influence on society, and I agree.  Others, however, believe that their positive impact on others is worth the money that they are paid.

On the one hand, there is no doubt that show business is an enormous and unfairly well paid sector. In addition to that, members of it do not add real value, compared to others like, for instance, education workers. Although in some countries teachers live with unreasonable wages, their responsibility, is extremely valuable for next generations become better people. Whereas a singer can earn double their yearly salary from one concert. The other important point is, for a balanced and equal society, the difference between income levels must not be very high. Regardless than their contribution, no one should make billions of dollars that easily, because that imbalance does have a significant negative impact on societies.

On the other hand, some people think that entertainers’ contribution to the modern life is worth the money they earn. It can be understood that for many people, watching a movie or going to a concert is irreplaceable with other activities; therefore, they think that their positive impact is crucial for a significant proportion of people. In addition to that, celebrities do compromise their privacy and freedom with being known by many others. In exchange of that, they do deserve a comfortable life with significantly better paychecks.

In conclusion, despite their minimal contribution with their work to the people and sacrifice from their private life; I believe that their impact is far from being positive and they are not paid fairly or balanced with others.

Task Response: 7

Both parts of the question are fully answered and there is a clear position and opinion presented. But some of the support loses focus and generalises too much. This can be seen in the last part of body paragraph one, which just states there are negative impacts again but does not say why. 

Coherence & Cohesion: 6

Fairly well-organised but there are some issues with CC. For instance 'in addition' does not fit in body paragraph one so early as the topic sentence has yet to be explained. The thesis would be better with the opinion at the end. 

Lexical Resource: 6

An adequate range of vocabulary but there are inaccuracies and mistakes with word forms. 

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Good range and mix of simple and complex sentences but too many noticeable errors for a band 7. For instance, "Regardless than their contribution" or the fragment: "Whereas a singer can earn double their yearly salary from one concert."

Topic: Computers and Teaching (Band 6)

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers and this is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children are born into the digital world. From young age, they know how to operate computers, iPad, and TV. It is part of their daily life. School age children is no exception to the use of computers. They are confident users of computers and very dependent on them which can lead to decline in reading and writing skills. Some teachers utilise the computers well in their lessons, while others avoid the use of computers in their classrooms. I believe good balance of both is needed to help students’ reading and writing skills to improve.

Computers can help students with reading. For example, if students come across unknown words, they can search the unknow words and hear the pronunciation. If it was not for the computers, they have to find someone who knows how to pronounce the words for them. Therefore, computers can play positive role in students’ reading skills.

On the other hands, writing skills need to be improved by lots of handwritten works. If students are using computers all the time and getting the help of autocorrection, they will not improve their writing skills. They will not know how to edit as autocorrect is doing the job for them.

In conclusion, I believe that teachers should not allow students to do all the work on the computers especially writing tasks. However, teacher should not avoid the use of computer as computers can be a great help if they use it effectively. Rather than avoiding computers that students are so used to, teachers need to come up with how to use it effectively to enhance students’ reading and writing skills.

Task Response: 6

You have addressed the question properly and your ideas are relevant. However, you don’t have enough support in your body paragraphs, which is the most important aspect with regards to the grading. Shorten your introduction considerably (2 or 3 sentences to introduce the topic and thesis). It currently doesn’t meet the requirement of “presents, extends and supports main ideas” for band 7.

You sequence information and ideas logically, but your linking devices are a bit too mechanical  i.e. transition words in initial sentence position e.g. for example, therefore, on the other hand etc. A greater range and higher ability to link would be needed for 7 and over. Take a look at this advice on using transitions for band 7 .  Referencing should also be improved e.g. “Some teachers utilise the computers well in their lessons, while others avoid the use of computers them in their classrooms.”

Lexical Resource: 7

Sufficient range of vocab and some less common vocab used, but some errors in word choice / formation prevent a band 8.

Overall the grammar is very good, but there is an error in quite a few of the sentences. Most are quite minor but a couple of very noticeable and the candidates need to take care with this to avoid a drop to a 6.

Topic: Improved Medical Care (Band 6.5)

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing.  

Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Since the medical care system has made significant progress in the last decades, people nowadays get older. While this can be seen as a clear benefit on a personal view, it causes huge problems on a global view. That’s why I think that the benefits of a higher life expectancy do not outweigh the drawbacks.  On the one hand, an advantage of a longer life and better medical care is that people can spend more time with their loved ones without being in pain. As it is possible to treat illnesses the way, that they don’t affect the patient’s life anymore. For example, even a few years ago a lot of people died having a heart attack. With the increased medical possibilities this isn’t the case anymore. As a result, people can overcome illnesses that were deadly.  On the other hand, the global impact a longer life expectancy has is huge. This can be seen by the fact that a longer life of individuals means a higher population on planet earth. For instance, we already have about 8 billion inhabitants and this number is increasing steadily. Consequently, we’ll not have enough resources to gain food and water for such a high number of individuals.  Furthermore, a longer life period also causes higher costs for the medical care system. Reason for that is that more resources are needed to keep people healthy and alive. To illustrate, for the prevention of a heart attack the patient gets a variety of pills to decrease his blood pressure. This medication is expensive. Accordingly, we will need more and more young people to finance the medical system, or the system must be changed.  All in all, it is understandable that people wish to have a healthy and very long life. But in my opinion the global disadvantages clearly outweigh the personal advantages of a longer life and better medical care. 

Content of the essay and ideas are generally okay. However, the initial explanation for the advantages is not always clear. The reader has to still think about what you mean about “being in pain.” A stricter examiner could penalize either TR or CC because the reader still has to process what is meant in this paragraph. But I think the average examiner will give you a 7 as the other paragraphs are ok.

Coherence & Cohesion: 7

The use of sequencers is okay. CC levels 8 and 9 do not necessarily have very obvious introductory phrases at the beginning of nearly every sentence (e.g. on the one hand, for example, as a result), and too many could even limit it to a band 6 if it is very mechanical. Take a look at model 8/9 essays to see how it should be done if you want a higher score.

Vocabulary is okay, despite an error or two. But for a higher score, you’ll need more complex words.

There is a good mix of complex sentences though this aspect could be improved – some sentences could be linked together to make the essay more complex, which would be expected for a band 7, 8 and 9. And this is confusing – “As it is possible to treat illnesses the way, that they don’t affect the patient’s life anymore.” Check out how to write complex sentences as you appear to have a fragment - complex sentences .

Double-check to correct errors you are aware of. As earlier mentioned, the first body paragraph has issues. There are also punctuation issues (comma) in other areas. I think this does not quite reach a 7 but is very close.

Topic: Strength in Sport (Band 6)

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while others think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Physical energy is considered to be an imperative aspect for achievements in the field of sports. However, many individuals argue that mental strength also plays a pivotal role. This essay represents view for both sides along with the opinion. Firstly, talking about physical energy, regular exercises enables an individual to stay fit and healthy by stretching body muscles that keeps the body active. Secondly, exercises can be performed in a way of practising any activity related to sports; for an instance, playing tennis or football may provides an encouragement and an exploration of new ideas and techniques that can be applied during games. Lastly, exercises reduces the risk of health issues, such as alterations in blood pressure, cardio-vascular diseases, by regulating blood flow in whole body that prevents risk of heart and brain strokes. On the other side, a healthy mind lives in a healthy body. According to this phrase, mental strength performs a crucial role in sports activities. In today's world of competition, a person came through many situations that are full of stress, for example, team pressure, pressure of winning or loosing the game. Moreover, an individual cannot focus on sports unless or until his mental strength is not strong. A stress may leads a player into depression which can put him on stress releasing medication for his entire life. Furthermore, state of happiness provides relaxation to mental power that boost up the confidence level to perform well in the sports. In my opinion, both physical as well as mental strength are considered to be mandatory because if exercises helps in the growth of body similarly mental strength gives confidence and support to play well.

The essay addresses all parts of the task, a clear position is presented throughout the response and main ideas are extended and supported main ideas. However, there is a tendency to overgeneralise and/or supporting ideas may lack focus.

The essay is clearly organised but it tends to be a bit mechanical with the use of the transition/sequencers (e.g. firstly, secondly, lastly etc).

There is an adequate range of vocabulary for the task but not enough to meet the and 7 criteria of "sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision" or "uses less common lexical items".

In this IELTS band 6 essay sample there is evidence of a mix of both simple and complex structures but error free sentences are not frequent (band 7), but the errors present do not reduce the communicative effect so it merits a 6, not 5.  

Topic: Relocating Businesses (Band 6)

In some countries governments are encouraging industry and business to move out of large cities and go to regional areas.

Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, industry and business have been encouraging by part of the nations governments to establish their factories in regional areas instead of in large cities. I strongly believe that there are much more benefits in this movement than drawbacks.

Having a company in a metropolitan area could bring lots of benefits, especially because the infrastructure is better than in smaller centers, with more transport options to receive and dispatch goods as well as a bigger range of specialized services and also skilled labour. Even tought, usually the general costs to keep a business in large cities are higher and not worth it, for instance the taxes and rents are normally more expensive.

On the other hand, moving industries to regional areas could benefit not just the local population, but also the entrepreneurs, due to the savings. A new business in a town or small city may bring more opportunities for workers, with job offers the inhabitants do not need to move to metropolies seeking for a greater careers. Furthermore, almost all the biggest centers in the world are heavily populated, reorganize the population density also brings advantages in the sense to avoid migration to already overcrowded areas.

In addition, industries and business can lead to the development of a different region owing to the need to improvements that can benefits everyone, such as government investimento in roads, as well as new opportunities to small commerces to supply daily need, like restaurants and bakeries.

To sum up, there are numerous benefits in the politice that encourage companies to establish in regional areas, which outweigh the drawbacks. The advantages achieve the entrepreneurs, the local population from towns as well as the large cities. Besides, the government can plan better how to distribute the population.

You discuss and explain the issues well, making sure you discuss both benefits and drawbacks. You focus a bit more on benefits which is ok as you think there are more of these.

Your essay is generally organised ok but there are errors with cohesion. “Even tought” is should be “However” - check how these words differ (the first is used to make adverbial clauses , and however is a transition . Also you can’t have ‘On the other hand’ without firstly having “On the one hand”. Check online how to use those words. This is perhaps an area where you could reach a 7 if you take a bit more care.

Vocabulary is generally ok and there are some good words in there. You have too many spelling mistakes which brings it down to a 6. I don’t understand this: ‘politice’. Again be careful. Perhaps you could get 7 if you try to cut out the spelling mistakes.

This is only just a 6 as you do have some noticeable and in cases slightly confusing errors (you’ll see some of the spelling and grammar errors if you look on Word). I think it’s not quite a 5 but it’s possible another examiner would award it that. Be particularly careful about comma splices as these can really confuse what you are trying to say. These all have comma splices in:

• ...usually the general costs to keep a business in large cities are higher and not worth it, for instance the taxes and rents are normally more expensive.
• A new business in a town or small city may bring more opportunities for workers, with job offers the inhabitants do not need to move to metropolies seeking for a greater careers.
• Furthermore, almost all the biggest centers in the world are heavily populated, reorganize the population density also brings advantages in the sense to avoid migration to already overcrowded areas.

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Band 6+: In today’s world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can art tell us about life that science and technology cannot?

Nowadays, in the science and technology world, artists are still unique and highly valued by people. I am of the opinion that artists such as musicians, painters, and writers offer a deeper understanding of the human experience and emotions as well as contribute to the preservation of cultures, while science and technology cannot.

The primary reason why creators have appreciated it is because arts contain a range of human emotions such as joy, love, fear or hope in ways that scientific facts and technology cannot. These art can convey emotions to people which can evoke deep emotions, empathize with personal experiences, and also help us process complex emotions. For example, many people choose to listen to music or read novels to release their emotions and to help them more understand their feelings. Moreover, through their personal life and experiences, artists are able to convey unique perspectives about the human condition and allow audiences to connect with their work on a personal level. This connection fosters empathy, understanding, and a sense of common humanity.

Another possible reason is that artists can preserve cultures. This is because it can reflect cultural, historical, and social contexts. Arts preserve traditions, beliefs, and values that are interesting and unique to each culture over many centuries which allows future generations to understand different perspectives and histories. While technology can only record information in history events, it would be easier for us to feel attractive and connected with the past through arts. Therefore, from an interest in arts, many people would like to investigate more about history and have deeper understanding about their cultures.

In conclusion, through their creativity, artists can capture and offer us the depth of human emotions and experiences, and also contribute to the preservation of cultures. Their work not only connects us, but also inspires new ways of thinking and understanding the world, in ways that science and technology cannot.

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Generate a band-9 sample with your idea, overall band score, task response, coherence & cohesion, lexical resource, grammatical range & accuracy, essays on the same topic:, in today’s world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. what can art tell us about life that science and technology cannot.

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Modern era within developed technology and growing science couldn’t hinder us from praising and appreciating artists. Art fills some significant roles in our life that science and technology are unable to provide. First, different types of art would dramatically enhance human empathy. Art exposes humans to the lives of various people, which offers numerous benefits […]

In the modern world, even though technology and science significantly contribute convenience to our lives, we still appreciate masterpieces. It is evident that arts illustrate greatly in representing an individual’s culture and ideology. Arts play a crucial role in presenting hand helping humans to widely understand a culture. This is because while preparing for the […]

Today’s society is becoming more advance in everything especially in science and technology. But still artists such as musicians, painter and writers are greatly values. Well there are some reason why artists are still value even though there is technology development and we are also going to discuss about some challenges for artists which can […]

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Some people think that young people should spend free time with families instead of outside entertainment, others disagree. discuss both views and give your opinion.

Number of citizens believe that youngsters should not prefer taking amusement from recreational activities over spending leisure time with their loved ones. Whereas, few people donot agree with this statement. From my perspective, both views have some pros and cons but I partially agree with second group. In this course of essay, I will give […]

many people believe that formal 'pen and paper' examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement. What is your view of examinations?

In many people’s view, today’s examinations are not the most effective way to evaluate the educational success of students, a statement I strongly agree with. I firmly believe that the current approach should be replaced by another method as soon as possible due to numerous reasons. Firstly, the conventional evaluating system is quite obsolete for […]

Some people think health care should be free for everyone. Other think that people should pay their medical cost themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

There is no doubt that health care has a crucial role in human life, and every individual has a right to health care. This essay will analyze the argument from both perspectives. While some people believe that health care should be free for every person, others argue that people must pay for their costs themselves […]

There is no doubt that health care has a crucial role for humans life, and every individual has a right on heath care, this essay will analyse the argumentative from both perspectives, while some people believe that health care should be for free for every person, others argue that people must pay their cost by […]

Some people prefer to shop in traditional stores. Other people prefer to their shopping online. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Shopping is something we all do, but how we do it can be different. Some people like to shop in traditional stores, while others like to shop online. Both ways have their good and bad sides. First, shopping in traditional stores is great because you can see, touch, and try things before you buy them. […]

Nowadays famous people are photographed by professional photographers everywhere they go. Some people Say this IS a good things because thé public are interested in their lives. Others people think that photographers are wrong to follow famous people. Discuss both thèse views and give your own opinion

Recently, it has been observed that photographers follow celebrities to various places and try to record every aspect of their lives by filming or photographing them. I believe this phenomenon represents a modern form of privacy invasion. Some argue that the lives of famous people captivate a significant audience worldwide, prompting journalists to photograph them […]

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