is hell exothermic or endothermic essay

Is Hell Endothermic or Exothermic?

Old collegiate legend involves a student's coming up with a clever proof about the physical properties of hell., barbara mikkelson, published dec. 1, 2000.

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Example: [Collected via e-mail, 1997] A true story. A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with a proof." Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: "First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose. Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over." It was not revealed what grade the student got.

The piece quoted above appears to have begun its Internet life as a joke posted to the newsgroup rec.humor in 1997. Its roots, however, are far older: It has antecedents in a 1920's-era piece written by Dr. Paul Darwin Foote [PDF], a scientist noted for his pioneering work in the field of high temperature measurement, which appeared in the house organ of the Taylor Instrument Company. In that article, "The Temperature of Heaven and Hell," Foote drew scientific deductions from descriptions of the states of various material substances as described in the Bible to conclude that Heaven was hotter than Hell. That item was penned as a humor piece and was written at a time in Foote's career when he was well established, thus any notion that it was the work of a cheeky student out to impress his professor should be dismissed.

The same item subsequently appeared as a story published in a 1962 book ( The Mathematical Magpie , which reprinted it from a 1960 magazine article), and as a parody published in a 1972 edition of Applied Optics which was attributed to "an unnamed environmental physicist of several decades back":

HEAVEN IS HOTTER THAN HELLThe temperature of heaven can be rather accurately computed. Our authority is the Bible, Isaiah 30:26 reads: Moreover, the light of the moon shall be as the light of the sun and the light of the sun shall be sevenfold as the light of seven days. Thus, heaven receives from the moon as much radiation as the earth does from the sun, and in addition seven times seven (forty nine) times as much as the earth does from the sun, or fifty times in all. The light we receive from the moon is one ten-thousandth of the light we receive from the sun, so we can ignore that. With these data we can compute the temperature of heaven: The radiation falling on heaven will heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation. In other words, heaven loses fifty times as much heat as the earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann fourth power law for radiation: (H/E)4 = 50where E is the absolute temperature of the earth, 300°K (273+27). This gives H the absolute temperature of heaven, as 798° absolute (525°C). The exact temperature of hell cannot be computed but it must be less than 444.6°C, the temperature at which brimstone or sulfur changes from a liquid to a gas. Revelations 21:8: But the fearful and unbelieving ... shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone." A lake of molten brimstone [sulfur] means that its temperature must be at or below the boiling point, which is 444.6°C. (Above that point, it would be a vapor, not a lake.) We have then, temperature of heaven, 525°C. Temperature of hell, less than 445°C. Therefore heaven is hotter than hell.

An article published in a 1979 edition of the Journal of Irreproducible Results written by Dr. Tim Healey (penned as a response to the Applied Optics piece) carried the joke one step further by offering a refutation proving that Hell was indeed hotter than Heaven.

In typical urban legend fashion, what had started out many years earlier as an obvious bit of tongue-in-cheek humor was apparently eventually transformed into a version touting it as a "true story." It's difficult to definitively prove one form of the legend is the direct descendant of the other since Foote's original and the modern Internet version are substantially different tales, but both of them are humor pieces based on the specialized concept of using thermodynamics to measure the properties of heat associated with Hell. (Either way, it's highly unlikely that a real "thermodynamics professor" would give graduate students an exam consisting of a single vague question with no definite solution which required the application of Biblical principles to answer, unless it was intended as a joke.)

Interestingly enough, the Internet-circulated version's opening gambit, "We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass," stands in opposition to the position taken centuries ago by the Roman Catholic Church. The Holy See had given its official approval to a particular line of scientific thought, the vacuum (places where measurable matter does not exist), to specifically allow for immaterial forms such as weightless souls and armies of angels in what would otherwise be a filled universe. Without vacuums, both Heaven and Hell as well as all their denizens would have no place in the cosmic order of things. The time-honored Aristotelian assertion "Nature abhors a vacuum" had to be (and was) elbowed out of the way because the vacuum was a theological necessity.

• This piece commonly begins with a statement meant to authenticate the story: "An actual question given on University of Washington chemistry midterm," "from a Yale professor," and "Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997" have been spotted so far.
• Sometimes the student's comments culminate in the assertion that hell must be exothermic because a girl he'd been chasing had sworn it'd be a cold day in hell before she'd sleep with him, and he'd so far been unable to get to first base with her.
• Often the story concludes with "The student received the only 'A' given on the exam."

Fadiman, Clifton.   The Mathematical Magpie .     New York: Simon & Schuster, 1962.   ISBN 0-387-94950-X.

Healey, Tim.   "A Refutation of the Proof That Heaven Is Hotter Than Hell."    The Journal of Irreproducible Results.   Vol. 25, No. 4:17-18   (1979).

MacGregor, Alison.   "The Proof's In: Hell Is Hotter Than Heaven."     The Ottawa Citizen.   1 August 1998   (p. A1).

Seife, Charles.   "Too Damned Hot."     New Scientist.   1 August 1998   (p. 21).

    Applied Optics.   "Heaven Is Hotter Than Hell."     Vol. 11   [1972]   (p. A14).

National Academy of Sciences.   Biographical Memoirs (Volume 50) .     New York: 1979.   (pp. 184-185).

By Barbara Mikkelson

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Is Hell Exothermic Or Endothermic?

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Published: Sep 12, 2023

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Thermodynamics and hell, hell as an isolated system, application of the laws of thermodynamics.

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The climate of Hell

An actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm:

" Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof ."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using the ideal gas law (Note 1.M). For instance, Hell is hot, loosing heat continuously to the surroundings. Unless the Hell's air is continuously compressed (which is unlikely), Hell must harbour exothermic reactions, such as burning.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So,we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. We can further assume that the environment of Hell has not changed appreciably over the millenia, i.e. temperature and pressure in Hell have stayed the same. In this case the volume of Hell has to expand as souls (i.e. mass) are added.

It is possible that Hell's expansion keeps in pace with the world's population growth. However, such balance is not guaranteed. Hell's expansion could be tied to the expansion of the universe. Or Hell could remain essentially the same size, as do planets. Assuming that the air pressure in Hell does remain unchanged, there are two possibilities:

• If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature in Hell will drop below freezing. In this case Hell would be endothermic, absorbing heat from the surrounding.
• Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature will rise until Hell boils over, i.e. until all Hell breaks loose (i.e. exothermic).

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in that area, then (1) cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.

For this midterm the student got the only A in the entire class.

JONATHAN TURLEY

Hell: exothermic or endothermic.

Here is the student’s answer:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct….. …leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’

The student reportedly received a well-deserved A+

However, I still prefer the Simpson version of Hell . . .

UPDATE: The answer is reportedly not from a student, but it has been augmented, here . Kudos: Phil Kroner

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48 thoughts on “hell: exothermic or endothermic”.

Spot on with this write-up, I truly think this web site needs a great deal more attention. I’ll probably be returning to see more, thanks for the information!

I swear some people are so “smart” they are dumb. This student probably received an A because it was cleaver. People just need to take a joke. I swear nothing ticks me off more than people who have to act smart.

It started with i – Phone and contains now gone after i – Pad 2; the reason- insufficient availability. Just because a link is on Piratebay does not necessarily mean that the users are getting it, so because of this, the flawed data. We’ll start our tour at Marina Grande around the north shore of the island, about one third of the way in from its easternmost point.

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Since a soul has no mass, no mobility, no fixed location in space/time, none of this is relevant.

According to theory , expansion of real gases is endothermic so has some one got endothermic and exothermic mixed up in the end of this tale !

What on earth is a solid blog web site with very good designs?

These patterns are not actually invented inside the 60’s, but not everything was about the psychedelics either. Usually do not fear, for interior design nirvana is obtainable at a price you can afford. Do not be afraid of color!

Maarten — and besides, you didn’t even LIKE it.

There was once a defendant named Rex, accused of exposing his sex. But he was acquitted, the reason submitted: De minimus non curat lex.

Boyles’ law only applies at constant temperature. A ‘location’ can not be endothermic or exothermic, only a ‘process’ can be that. Conclusion: nor the student nor the professor knows jack shit about chemistry. Therefore this story is a hoax and thus not funny and certainly not brilliant.

But souls have no mass or volume…

Another engineer….

I’m told all the screws in Hell are straight head and all the screwdrivers Philips head.

It is supposed to be Hell after all. Or in the words of Gary Larson, “Welcome to Heaven. Here’s your harp./Welcome to Hell. Here’s your accordion.”

I’d argue that it had to be isothermic, otherwise some clever engineering might use the heat difference to cool another part of it down by making some type of engine, and we all know hell can’t be cold.

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Gotta love people who believe everything they get sent by e-mail.

I appreciate this humor whether plagiarism or not.

@Elaine M.- I appreciate Rowan Atkinson’s bit, but I think hell would be more like Sartre’s short story, “No Exit,” where people of entirely different vices get on each others nerves for eternity. —-Sort of like my job. ;->

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• Ars Lykaion

Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?

• Thread starter parallel
• Start date Jun 7, 2006

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• Jun 7, 2006
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IS HELL EXOTHERMIC, OR ENDOTHERMIC?<br><br><br> The following is an actual question given on University of Liverpool<br> chemistry finals. The answer by one student was so "profound" that<br> the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is <br> why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.<br><br> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic<br> (absorbs heat)?<br> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law <br> that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or<br> some variant.<br><br> One student, however, wrote the following:<br><br> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So <br> we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the<br> rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that<br> once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.<br><br> As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different<br> religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions<br> state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to <br> Hell.<br><br> Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do<br> not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all<br> souls go to Hell. <br><br> With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of<br> souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of<br> change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in<br> order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the<br> volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added.<br><br> This gives two possibilities:<br> <br> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which<br> souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will<br> increase until all Hell breaks loose.<br><br> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls<br> in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell<br> freezes over.<br><br> So which is it? <br> <br> If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman<br> year that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,"<br> and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then <br> number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic<br> and has already frozen over.<br><br> The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it<br> follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct... <br> leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being<br> which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting "Oh my God."<br><br> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A". <br><br>Well, I thought it was funny -- View image here: http://episteme.arstechnica.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif --  

Syrophenikan

Ars legatus legionis.

How many times is this going to be posted?  

Ars Tribunus Angusticlavius

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Syrophenikan:<BR>How many times is this going to be posted? </div></BLOCKQUOTE><BR><BR>Approximately 8,178 times over the next 108 years, 8 months, 18 days, 4 hours, and 13 minutes.<BR><BR>...oh, was that a rhetorical question?  

Ars Praefectus

wow, I thought I need a time machine to go back to 1996, but all i really needed was the lounge!<BR><BR>PC++  

<blockquote class="ip-ubbcode-quote"> <div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div> <div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE! <br><br>Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death. <br><br>Dihydrogen monoxide: <br><br><br>is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component of acid rain.<br>contributes to the "greenhouse effect." <br>may cause severe burns. <br>contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape. <br>accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals. <br>may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes. <br>has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients. <br>Contamination is reaching epidemic proportions! <br><br>Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and recently California. <br><br>Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used: <br>as an industrial solvent and coolant. <br>in nuclear power plants. <br>in the production of styrofoam. <br>as a fire retardant. <br>in many forms of cruel animal research. <br>in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical. <br>as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products. <br>Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer! <br><br>The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use. </div> </blockquote> <br><br> -- View image here: http://episteme.arstechnica.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif --  

iko: now that is funny. -- View image here: https://cdn.arstechnica.net/forum/smilies/biggrin.gif --  

Never seen that before, but I thought it was funny...  

Ars Praetorian

I'll post the answer after I get there.  

"Hell is other people."<BR><BR>Other people are exothermic when they're alive, and primarily endothermic once they're dead.<BR><BR>Hell is only populated by dead people.<BR><BR>Ergo, Hell is endothermic.  

I should have guessed it had been posted before. Sorry about that.<br>The trouble is I don't waste enough of my life in the lounge. -- View image here: http://episteme.arstechnica.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif --  

SupremeOverlord

Ars tribunus militum.

It's not just been posted before in the lounge, it's been posted <I>everywhere</I>. It's on bash.org, it made the rounds on the e-mail forwarding circuit years ago, and I know it was posted on Ars within the first year the forum was open.  

Snopes dates both the above bits to 1997.  

<blockquote class="ip-ubbcode-quote"> <div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div> <div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Syrophenikan:<br>iko: now that is funny. -- View image here: https://cdn.arstechnica.net/forum/smilies/biggrin.gif -- </div> </blockquote> <br><br>This is funnier:<br><br><blockquote class="ip-ubbcode-quote"> <div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div> <div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">In March 2004 the California municipality of Aliso Viejo (a suburb in Orange County) came within a cat's whisker of falling for this hoax after a paralegal there convinced city officials of the danger posed by this chemical. The leg-pull got so far as a vote's having been scheduled for the City Council on a proposed law that would have banned the use of foam containers at city-sponsored events because (among other things) they were made with DHMO, a substance that could "threaten human health and safety." </div> </blockquote>  

Older than Ars, even.  

<blockquote class="ip-ubbcode-quote"> <div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div> <div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">This is funnier: </div> </blockquote> <br>I've had people who should know better going full on over articles from The Onion . -- View image here: https://cdn.arstechnica.net/forum/smilies/devious.gif --  

FWIW my chemistry prof back at Texas A&M did in fact claim to be the one that had initially given that problem. Her version of the joke had a few more details in it as well compared to most, but I don't remember any of them. [shrug]  

Ahhh...old stuff. However Hell works, Santa's been there.<BR><BR>No Santa (anymore)<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> 1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species <BR> of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are <BR> insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer <BR> which only Santa has ever seen.<BR> <BR> 2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT <BR> since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and <BR> Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 <BR> million according to the Population Reference Reference Bureau. At an<BR> average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million <BR> homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.<BR> <BR> 3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different <BR> time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west <BR> (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is <BR> to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has<BR> 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, <BR> fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat <BR> whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the <BR> sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8<BR> millions stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, <BR> we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will<BR> accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of <BR> 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at <BR> least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.<BR> <BR> This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000<BR> times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made <BR> vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per <BR> second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.<BR> <BR> 4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming <BR> that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), <BR> the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably <BR> described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more <BR> than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could <BR> pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even <BR> nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even<BR> counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for <BR> comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth. <BR> <BR> 5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air <BR> resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as<BR> spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer <BR> will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In <BR> short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the<BR> reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The <BR> entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. <BR> Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times <BR> greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim)<BR> would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force. <BR> <BR> In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's <BR> dead now. Merry X-mas. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>  

samantha_cs

When I was a junior in college, a friend of mine found that anecdote on his final exam for an "Order or Magnitude Physics" class. The very next statement on the exam was (paraphrasing because this was several years ago)<BR><BR>"While this is a clever answer, we cannot permit amusing anecdotes to substitute for physical reasoning."<BR><BR>The exam then went on to ask the student to, (among other things, again since I can't really remember everything)...<BR><BR>Estimate the distance to Hell based on a mythological trip someone had taken.<BR><BR>Estimate the temperature and size of Hell, based on (I think) descriptions in Dante's Inferno.<BR><BR>Assume that the energy released by hell is entirely converted from souls falling into Hell, and then compute the mass of a soul necessary to supply that energy, factoring in the rate at which souls fall into Hell.<BR><BR>Given the size and number of souls in Hell, and assuming they followed the Pauli Exclusion Principle, compute the density of states of souls in Hell.<BR><BR>Compute the DeBroglie wavelength of a soul.<BR><BR>I wish I had a hard-copy of this final exam as it had me rolling on the floor with geek amusement when it was read to me by my friend.  

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">No Santa (anymore) </div></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Heh, my physics professor in 1996 gave us all a copy of that one at Christmas.<BR><BR>And to answer whether Hell is exothermic or endothermic, just measure what this thread is. That ought to give us the answer.  

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Other people are exothermic when they're alive, and primarily endothermic once they're dead. </div></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Technically you'll start off dead as being exothermic, then once you cool off a bit too much, you'll become endothermic. After a while, you'll just reach equilibrium, and then you'll pretty much stay that way.  

• Jun 8, 2006

All right, this one has a last modified date of 1997, but that doesn't mean that's when I first saved it to disk. (Not to say that I changed it, but a butterfly flapping its wings in Mongolia can change last modified dates in California.)<BR><BR><BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">25 rules chicks just don't know<BR><BR>1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down.<BR>2. Don't cut your hair. Ever.<BR>3. Don't make us guess.<BR>4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.<BR>5. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.<BR>6. He's never thinking about "The Relationship."<BR>7. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different. It's just like every other cat.<BR>8. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.<BR>9. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.<BR>10. Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.<BR>11. Anything you wear is fine. Really.<BR>12. You have enough clothes.<BR>13. You have too many shoes.<BR>14. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.<BR>15. Your brother is an idiot.<BR>16. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.<BR>17. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.<BR>18. Share the bathroom.<BR>19. Share the closet.<BR>20. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers.<BR>21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.<BR>22. Nothing says "I love you" like a blowjob in the morning.<BR>23. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.<BR>24. Check your oil.<BR>25. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>  

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by thekaj:<BR><BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">No Santa (anymore) </div></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Heh, my physics professor in 1996 gave us all a copy of that one at Christmas.<BR> </div></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>I was rather entertained by a column in the Philadelphia Inquirer a few years back responding to that by a physics professor at I think Bryn Mawr. It boiled down to "particles have the capacity to be in multiple locations at once, as long as they aren't observed, so Santa can deliver all the toys simultaniously, assuming nobody sees him."  

<blockquote class="ip-ubbcode-quote"> <div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div> <div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by KD5MDK:<br>I was rather entertained by a column in the Philadelphia Inquirer a few years back responding to that by a physics professor at I think Bryn Mawr. It boiled down to "particles have the capacity to be in multiple locations at once, as long as they aren't observed, so Santa can deliver all the toys simultaniously, assuming nobody sees him." </div> </blockquote> <br>I never got the part about how particles can be in several places at once - if they aren't observed... Yeah, ok...<br>I can be invisible, just close your eyes and you'll see... (Mystery Men FTW! -- View image here: http://episteme.arstechnica.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif --)<br><br>L.  

<blockquote class="ip-ubbcode-quote"> <div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div> <div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Lestat:<br><blockquote class="ip-ubbcode-quote"> <div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div> <div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by KD5MDK:<br>I was rather entertained by a column in the Philadelphia Inquirer a few years back responding to that by a physics professor at I think Bryn Mawr. It boiled down to "particles have the capacity to be in multiple locations at once, as long as they aren't observed, so Santa can deliver all the toys simultaniously, assuming nobody sees him." </div> </blockquote> <br>I never got the part about how particles can be in several places at once - if they aren't observed... Yeah, ok...<br>I can be invisible, just close your eyes and you'll see... (Mystery Men FTW! -- View image here: http://episteme.arstechnica.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif --)<br><br>L. </div> </blockquote> <br><br>The point is that there is no way to *predict* precisely where they would be until they are observed - there are mutliple eigenstates they could with equal probability occupy.<br><br>With a large mass, if you know its current mass, trajectory, momentum, and all relevant gravity wells (and resistance, in atmposheres) near it, you can predict exactly where it will be in the next second without observation.<br><br>For the quantum things, it could be in various positions and states with equal probability, thus you cannot know until you look where it is.<br><br>Make sense? <br><br>For the real physics guys here (I'm a dilletante when it comes to this), did I oversimplify it?  

Fate Amenable to Change

Actually, I've been meaning to ask, there is a song at the end of Fight Club that isn't on the sound track, does anyone know what the name is?  

<blockquote class="ip-ubbcode-quote"> <div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div> <div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Lestat:<br>I never got the part about how particles can be in several places at once - if they aren't observed... Yeah, ok...<br>I can be invisible, just close your eyes and you'll see... (Mystery Men FTW! -- View image here: http://episteme.arstechnica.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif --)<br><br>L. </div> </blockquote> <br><br>If a tree exists in a wood, and no one is around to observe it, has it fallen over or does it enter a superposition of all possible states becoming one specific state when someone goes to look?  

dennilfloss

Ask al Zarqawi. He should know very soon as he's on his way there already.  

This one is from pre-internet times, at least decades old, but I found it on the internet about 13 years ago.<BR><BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"><BR>GENERAL INTELLIGENCE TEST<BR>=========================<BR><BR>Read each question thoroughly. Answer all questions. Time limit: four hours. Begin immediately.<BR><BR>History<BR>-------<BR>Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day; concentrate especially but not exclusively on the social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.<BR><BR><BR>Medicine<BR>--------<BR>You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your own appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected.<BR><BR><BR>Public Speaking<BR>---------------<BR>2,500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.<BR><BR><BR>Biology<BR>-------<BR>Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to the probable effects on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.<BR><BR><BR>Music<BR>-----<BR>Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate it and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.<BR><BR><BR>Psychology<BR>----------<BR>Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.<BR><BR><BR>Sociology<BR>---------<BR>Estimate the sociological problems that might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.<BR><BR><BR>Management Science<BR>------------------<BR>Define management. Define science. How do they relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming an 1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm, design the communications interface and all the necessary control programs.<BR><BR><BR>Economics<BR>---------<BR>Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method from all points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.<BR><BR><BR>Political Science<BR>-----------------<BR>There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.<BR><BR><BR>Epistemology<BR>------------<BR>Take a position for or against the truth. Prove the validity of your position.<BR><BR><BR>Physics<BR>-------<BR>Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.<BR><BR><BR>Chemistry<BR>---------<BR>Transform lead into gold. You will find a tripod and three lead tubes under your seat. Show all work including Feynman diagrams and quantum functions for all steps. You have fifteen minutes.<BR><BR><BR>Philosophy<BR>----------<BR>Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.<BR><BR><BR>** EXTRA CREDIT **<BR><BR><BR>Define the Universe. Give two examples<BR> </div></BLOCKQUOTE>  

^ I saw that with one addition:<BR><BR>Engineering<BR>-------<BR>Beneath your seat are the disassembled parts of an AK-47 and a single live round. In 10 seconds a hungry Bengal tiger will be released into the room. Take whatever actions you see fit. Be prepared to justify your answer.  

Oh yah, mine had that one too. I found several versions online just now, but some of them had been really changed and sucked. This was the closest to what I remember.  

Another one of those exam funnies... in a psych exam, the question was "Define courage..."<BR><BR>Student's answer: "This is".  

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Is Hell Exothermic Or Endothermic?

An essay done by a student many years ago, showing how scientific analysis should be done.

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, “…that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.” and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

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• General Discussion

Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?

• Thread starter Char. Limit
• Start date Mar 28, 2010
• Tags Endothermic Exothermic
• Mar 28, 2010

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It's a Capita.

I am assuming you saw the picture of the kid explaining why hell was endothermic because a girl slept with him?  

http://www.pinetree.net/humor/thermodynamics.html"  

Char. Limit said: ve: The set of all days that contain the task "School" is less exciting than the set of all days that contain the task "Spring Break".

• Mar 29, 2010

People go to hell, and stay there for eternity, seems like a simple deal, nay?  

MotoH said: http://www.pinetree.net/humor/thermodynamics.html"

So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic." The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

• Apr 5, 2010

Exothermic because souls are being perpetually combusted  

Lol, I liked that essay answer.  

Related to Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?

1. is there scientific evidence for the existence of hell.

As a scientist, I cannot make a definitive statement on the existence of Hell as it is a concept rooted in religion and spirituality. There is no scientific evidence that supports or refutes the existence of Hell.

2. Can Hell be classified as an exothermic or endothermic process?

Neither. Exothermic and endothermic processes refer to the transfer of heat energy, which does not apply to the concept of Hell.

3. What is the temperature of Hell?

As Hell is a concept and not a physical place, it does not have a measurable temperature. Any reference to the temperature of Hell is purely metaphorical.

4. Is there a scientific explanation for the concept of Hell?

No, as Hell is a religious and spiritual concept, it falls outside the realm of scientific explanation.

5. Can science prove that Hell does not exist?

No, science cannot prove or disprove the existence of Hell as it is a matter of faith and belief, not something that can be tested or observed through the scientific method.

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Exothermic or Endothermic?

Exothermic: Pertaining to, attended by, or produced from the liberation of heat: opposed to endothermic.

Endothermic: Pertaining to, attended by, or produced from the absorption of heat: opposed to Exothermic

Exothermic or Endothermic? A true story: A thermodynamics professor had written a take-home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with a proof.

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however wrote the following:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell.

Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.

#1 So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.

#2 Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given me by Therese Banyan during Freshman year, and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded getting a date with her, then #2 cannot be true, and hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A

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Hell Explained

by Howie Decker @HowardTheDeck on August 13, 2011

I know this is old and has made the rounds many times, but I’ve always loved it. If you haven’t seen it before, enjoy!

HELL EXPLAINED by a chemistry student

The following is an actual question given on a  University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

The answer by this student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. There fore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct….. …leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

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home > jokes > Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?

Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?

I was emailed the following by Reynir Stefánsson, who says: "I have seen a few versions of this on the net, but so far none better than the one enclosed below".

The university mentioned varies widely around the Web -- for example, some sites quote Texas A&M, others quote McGill. One variant gives more detail , naming the student, identifying the course as "Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II" at the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, and the examiner as Dr. Schambaugh, allegedly famous for asking exam questions such as "why do airplanes fly". There is indeed such a person as Dr. Schambaugh at that institution, but when Reynir emailed him for confirmation, his reply was: "The course number and title are correct, and I have asked why airplanes fly. But I never asked a question about hell." (All of which suggests the perpetrator may be one of the students on that course...)

[Dec 2011] John Jensen emailed me to say that Snopes has the answer ; they attribute it to Paul Darwin Foote.

Hell from an engineering approach

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid term. The answer was so profound that the Professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you." and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

This student received the only A.

Linguistic humor, Hell - exothermic or endothermic?

Exothermic vs. Endothermic Hell

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The situation in hell.

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why last night Teresa kept shouting "Oh, my God!"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".

Author: Unknown / Contributor: John Masher

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A chemistry student was asked to explain if heaven or hell exists on a test...

The question was: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities.

If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa during my freshman year that "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and we take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Theresa kept shouting, "Oh my God."

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• / Is Hell Endothermic or Exothermic

Is Hell Endothermic or Exothermic

Essay by review   •  January 16, 2011  •  Essay  •  364 Words (2 Pages)  •  2,208 Views

Essay Preview: Is Hell Endothermic or Exothermic

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and deathrates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."