how to write a conclusion for a personal statement

Home › University › How To Write A Personal Statement? 10 Tips + Student Questions Answered › How To End A Personal Statement So The Admissions Committee Remembers You

How To End A Personal Statement So The Admissions Committee Remembers You

• Published January 20, 2023

Students are often unsure of  how to end a personal statement.  A strong conclusion makes all the difference in whether your application gets noticed by admissions officers or not.

If you’ve just finished writing your personal statement and you’re stuck on your ending, then don’t worry! This article will walk you through the essentials of personal statement conclusions.

Avoid writing a tedious and forgettable ending for your personal statement by following these rules.

Talk About Your Main Points

Don’t end your final paragraph by stating what you’ve never mentioned in the body of your personal statement. Remember, the purpose of your conclusion is to  wrap up  the package.

You shouldn’t say, “My experiences kindled my passion for engineering,” if you didn’t mention these “experiences” in the first place!

So actually summarising your key main body points is a great conclusion in many cases.

Summarise Your Key Points In A Simple Way

After reading thousands of personal statements, the admissions committee will be happy to see you concluding your personal statement with a clear summarisation of the vital points. 

Go over your personal statement and jot down the main takeaway of each paragraph. Once you have that list, find a way to integrate them into your conclusion.

You can dedicate a sentence to each key point, tie them all together, and you now have a conclusion that does what it’s supposed to do!

Use Your Key Points To Restate Your Passion For Your Course

If you’re wondering how to end your personal statement using your key points, use them to restate your passion for the course you’re applying for.

Say your key points including your skills and experiences, and wrap them up by saying, “With the [your specific skills] and [your specific experiences] I’ve gained over the years, I’m committed to [mention your course].”

By doing so, you’re hitting two birds with one stone. One, you’re reminding the admissions committee that you have the skill set necessary to succeed in your course. Two, you’re demonstrating your dedication to your desired course.

Double Down On Your “Why”

Another powerful ending is to remind the reader of your “why.” Many students pursue their chosen course because they’re not sure what else to take.

So being clear on your purpose immediately sets you apart from the rest. 

To do this, take the most heart-moving story from the body of your personal statement on what inspired you to apply for your course. Mention the main idea of it in a sentence or two, then end with a “for this reason, I believe pursuing [mention course] is the best way to achieve my [state your why].”

If your course is related to education, perhaps your “why” is to help children learn by allowing them to show how they learn best.

Say you’re writing a medical personal statement . Maybe your “why” is to forward technology that helps safeguard the elderly from falling accidents because you witnessed your grandparent suffer injuries from a fall when you were young.

Doubling down on your “why” shows your conviction and direction on why you’re applying for your course.

Mention The Next Step Of Your Application Process

What’s the next step after the admissions committee accepts your personal statement? For many courses, they’ll call you up for an interview . Go ahead and mention this in your conclusion!

Write along the lines of “I’m looking forward to dedicating myself to this course, and I would love to receive an invitation for the interview.”

The reader will right away recognise that you’ve done your research. You know what the next step should be. You  are  serious about this application!

Make The Universities Excited To Have You As Their Student

Studying at a university is not merely a means to an end. It’s a profound journey in and of itself! You’ll meet new colleagues, form lifelong communities, and discover mentors who will guide you along with your future career.

Think of them when you’re pondering on how to end a personal statement. What can you contribute as a student to make the university a better place? Demonstrate your excitement in meeting them, building relationships with them, and serving them!

A statement as straightforward as “I am eager to establish new, lifelong relationships and use my [mention your skills] to help make the university a better place for learning and community-building.”

Demonstrate Your Willingness To Learn

Universities exist to train and mould students, not the other way around! A little humility goes a long way. Show yours by demonstrating your willingness to learn. Nothing excites teachers more than willing students.

To pull this off, make sure you know what values your course upholds. It could be service, excellence, inclusivity, and so on. State in your conclusion that “I’m looking forward to learning how to embody [write down the course’s values you resonate with], to grow and succeed in [mention your field of study].”

There’s so much value packed in this simple personal statement ending. Tweak it and make it yours!

Avoid Famous Quotes

Many students insert famous quotes from well-known persons when ending their personal statements. Avoid this tactic as much as possible because you’re driving attention  away  from YOU as the applicant.

If you want to include famous quotes, put them at the beginning of your personal statement to grab attention. To keep your reader’s attention focused on you in the end, why not come up with a memorable, relevant quote of your own?

Use The Bookend Strategy

Bookends are sturdy objects placed at either end of upright books to keep them standing. When you translate that into writing, the bookend strategy is when the introduction and conclusion statements connect to support the body between them.

You may start your personal statement with a heart-wrenching story about how you watched your beloved pet die of the wrong diagnosis. Then, for your conclusion, you can call back on this story and state how this event fuels you to pursue veterinary practice.

The bookend strategy is a clean and efficient way how to end your personal statement.

Ask Help From Your Family And Friends

If you’re still stuck on how to end a personal statement, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Approach your family and friends because they know you more than anyone. Read to them the introduction and body of your personal statement.

Ask them what particular line struck them the most. Maybe they know something about you that you missed including in your personal statement. What characteristics do they see in you that will help you succeed in your course?

Gather their answers in one place, and after reading them in one go, you now have a decent idea of what to emphasise in your conclusion statement.

Never State That It’s The “Conclusion” Or “Summary”

The most boring, generic way to end a personal statement is to write “In conclusion” or “In summary.” It’s actually one of the topics we cover in  what not to put in a personal statement .

Avoid this writing style at all costs. A good conclusion statement doesn’t require explicit announcements.

By its style and structure alone, the reader knows immediately they’re about to read a lasting statement. So don’t hesitate to proceed straight to the major points. As long as the conclusion connects seamlessly with the previous paragraph, you’re good to go!

Stay Authentic

Universities hold honesty in high esteem. Show authenticity and honesty in your personal statement beginning with an attention-grabbing introduction to a strong conclusion.

The best way to radiate honesty in your personal statement is to write from the right mindset. When you work on your personal statement, your objective is to show  who you are and demonstrate why you are a worthy candidate for the course .

Don’t try to impress. If you come from that standpoint, you’re more likely to add embellishments. The experienced admissions committee can smell insincere personal statements from a mile away. So stick with who you are and let your personality shine through.

Give Yourself A Break, Then Come Back To It

When working on how to conclude a personal statement, you need to give yourself time. After writing a rough draft of your conclusion statement, take a break and return to it after a few days. 

When you return to it, you’ll be surprised to notice details you haven’t seen before. Edit as you like, and make it better. Keep the old versions of your conclusion at hand so you can readily compare them with your newest, edited text. Compare and choose which one sounds better.

5 Bad Examples For A Personal Statement Conclusion

These are 5 personal statement examples for conclusions that don’t meet the criteria outlined above.

• In this application essay, I have made it clear I am an outstanding candidate for a degree because I think everyone will love my positive attitude and I deserve it.
• In summary, you can see my highlighted qualifications and experience, I know they’re not the best, but I want to stress that my passion for this field is what sets me apart as a candidate. It shouldn’t matter if the others are more qualified or experienced than me.
• Remember the skills I have, that’s really what sets me apart from other students, they don’t have what it takes to break the rules creatively and not follow the book.
• Finally, I would like to thank you for considering me for this opportunity and I hope you will make the right decision by choosing me, otherwise, I may cry and be disappointed.
• As a final note, it’s easy to see how qualified I am for this degree and how I will excel in it – but you should accept me because I’m cool and will get along with everyone else.

5 Amazing Examples Of A Personal Statement Ending

• In conclusion, I am excited about the opportunity to study computer science at this university. My passion for technology, combined with my programming skills and experience, make me an ideal candidate for the program. I am eager to learn from the esteemed faculty and contribute to the research community. I am confident that this program will enable me to achieve my career goals and make a meaningful impact in the field of technology.
• In summary, I have always been fascinated by the human body and its functions. My experience in volunteering in hospitals, combined with my academic record, makes me confident in my ability to handle the rigours of a medical degree. I am excited about the opportunity to study at this esteemed university and to contribute to the field of medicine through research and patient care.
• To wrap things up, I am excited to pursue a degree in Mechanical Engineering at this university. My passion for designing and building, combined with my experience in physics and mathematics, make me confident that I have the knowledge and skills to excel in this program. I am eager to learn from the esteemed faculty and contribute to the field of mechanical engineering through research and innovation.
• Finally, I am honoured to be considered for a law degree at this university. My passion for justice, combined with my research skills and experience, make me an ideal candidate for the program. I am excited about the opportunity to learn from the esteemed faculty and to contribute to the legal field through research and practice.
• As a final note, I am excited to pursue a degree in Environmental Science at this university. My passion for the environment, combined with my experience in environmental research, makes me confident that I have the knowledge and skills to make a meaningful impact in this field. I am eager to learn from the esteemed faculty and contribute to the field through research and conservation efforts.

How Long Should the Conclusion To A Personal Statement Be?

A personal statement conclusion should be 150-200 words long and leave a positive lasting impression on the reader. A UCAS personal statement should be 4000 characters long, making the conclusion 705-940 characters long – this is just a rough estimation based on the average number of characters per word (4.7).

Do You Feel More Confident Writing A Personal Statement Conclusion?

To  end your personal statement  in the best possible way, you need to know the body’s key points. Use them as pillars when deciding which direction your conclusion takes. 

Will you highlight your future goals? Maybe you want to focus on your why? Take the time to decide. And if you’re stuck, don’t hesitate to ask for help from your family and friends so you can leave a lasting impression on the applications committee.

How much did this article help you out? Don’t forget to bookmark this page for future reference!

Real Alumni Stories

Learn more about our alumni through their success stories.

• Real stories about our Alumni
• Students share their programme experiences
• Case studies from Alumni heading to Oxbridge
• Alumni insights and stats

Empower Your Child's Future: Book Your Complimentary Consultation Now

• Receive tailored advice to match your child's interests and goals.
• Gain insights from our experienced programme consultants.
• Get answers in real-time, making your decision-making process smoother and more informed.

Subscribe to the Immerse Education newsletter for £100 off your programme*

* Terms and Conditions may apply

Download Our Prospectus

• I'm a Parent
• I'm a Student
• First Name *
• Last Name *
• Which subjects interest you? (Optional) Architecture Artificial Intelligence Banking and Finance Biology Biotechnology Business Management Chemistry Coding Computer Science Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Creative Writing Creative Writing and Film Criminology Data Science and Analytics Earth Science Economics Encryption and Cybersecurity Engineering English Literature Entrepreneurship Fashion and Design Female Future Leaders Film Studies Fine Arts Global Society and Sustainability Health and Biotechnology History International Relations Law Marketing and Entertainment Mathematics Medicine Medicine and Health Sciences Nanotechnology Natural Sciences Philosophy Philosophy Politics and Economics Physics Psychology Software Development and AI Software Development and Gaming Veterinary Studies Online Research Programme

Secure priority enrolment for our new summer school location with a small refundable deposit.

" * " indicates required fields

Receive priority enrolment for new summer school locations by registering your interest below.

Our programme consultant will contact you to talk about your options.

• Family Name *
• Phone Number
• Yes. See Privacy Policy.

Subject is unavailable at location

You have selected a subject that is not available at the location that you have previously chosen.

The location filter has been reset, and you are now able to search for all the courses where we offer the subject.

• How to End a Personal Statement With Impact

Your statement-ending paragraph is your last chance to make an impact, but it's essential to make sure that you summarise your main points and explain why you're qualified and willing to participate in the program with a strong ending. A compelling, realistic conclusion can give your application that extra oomph and show the admissions committee that you're the right choice. Just like writers on deadline, you might trip up on your statement's ending line. Here are some common mistakes to avoid:

• Repeating information already covered without adding new insight
• Introducing new ideas or topics that should have been discussed in the body
• Using clichés or overly sentimental language that doesn't add value
• Ending abruptly without a clear summary of your points
• Overstating your achievements or future aspirations

How to End a Personal Statement Correctly

Ending your personal statement firmly is crucial. If you’re ever struggling with concluding your paper, a personal statement writing service can help. If you're determined to master conclusion writing, though, here's a simple, straightforward guide to crafting a compelling conclusion.

1. Reflect on Your Opening. Go back to your introduction . A good ending will often have an echo of the opening, which sits rather like a bookend to your statement. Don’t repeat your statements word-for-word, but perhaps offer a recap of the theme you developed or the little anecdote on which you started.

2. Summarise Key Points. Most guides for how to write a conclusion for a personal statement suggest that, at a minimum, students should briefly summarise the major themes they’ve discussed. Don’t simply recite facts; instead, create a sense of closure, revealing to the reader how your experiences and goals interrelate logically, culminating in your desire to join the program.

3. Connect to Your Future. Tie your story back to the opportunity at hand. Explain how the program will be important in helping you to reach your career or academic goals. Illustrate your plans to achieve these goals and make it clear that this program is included in your plan.

4. End with a Strong Closing Sentence. When concluding a personal statement, finish with a sentence that packs a punch. Show where you are headed next. It may be your word choice, your vow of commitment to the topic, or your powerful statement of passion and readiness to work in your chosen field. In any event, make it consistent with the tone and emphasis of your essay, and make it say what you need it to say about you.

5. Keep It Simple and Authentic. Resist the urge to drown readers in big words or have grandiose claims. The conclusion should sound sincere and genuine. Don’t make it too fancy or out of reach. Every sentence should add to the main point. Nothing should wander off.

Examples of Good and Bad Personal Statement Conclusions

Finishing up your personal statement can be a make-or-break moment in your application. It's your opportunity to stand out. That is why finding a good personal statement conclusion example can be helpful. Alternatively, you can consult an online writing service for some extra tips. Below, we'll look at five examples of some good and bad ways to conclude a personal statement.

It’s A Wrap!

As you finish your personal statement, remember that the conclusion should help tie up your argument. Our tips on how to write a personal statement will come in handy. Having read this article, you should know how to conclude a personal statement easily. Use the tips we’ve shared to craft an ending that shows off your suitability for the program. Make sure that your closing remarks remain genuine and clear-headed. This will give the admission committee a confident and positive impression of you and a sense that they know what you want to achieve.

• How to Write a Lab Report: Tips from Academic Researchers
• 6 Tips For Finding The Best Essay Topics
• Presentation Ideas for Students: Easy and Unique Topics
• Business Research Topics: Selected by Experts

Writers are verified and tested to comply with quality standards.

Work is completed in time and delivered before deadline.

Wide range of subjects and topics of any difficulty covered.

Read testimonials to learn why customers trust us.

See how it works from order placement to delivery.

Client id #: 000229

You managed to please my supervisor on the first try! Whoa, I've been working with him for over a year and never turned in a paper without having to rewrite it at least once, lol I wonder if he thinks something's wrong with me now.

Client id #: 000154

Your attention to details cannot but makes me happy. Your professional writer followed every single instruction I gave and met the deadline. The text itself is full of sophisticated lexis and well-structured. I was on cloud nine when I looked through it. And my professor is satisfied as well. Million thanks!

Client id #: 000234

I contacted their call-center to specify the possible custom deadline dates prior to making an order decision and it felt like they hadn't even considered a possibility of going beyond the standard urgency. I didn't even want an additional discount for the extended time, just want to make sure I'll have enough time for editing if necessary. Made an order for standard 14 days, we'll see.

Client id #: 000098

I have no idea how you managed to do this research paper so quickly and professionally. But the result is magnificent. Well-structured, brilliantly written and with all the elements I asked for. I am already filling out my next order from you.

How To End A Personal Statement: Great Final Paragraphs

Second only to the opening paragraph , the closing paragraph of a personal statement is the part that people often struggle with the most.

From repeating key points to underselling achievements and ambitions, a personal statement conclusion can be the least effective aspect of the document.

That’s frustrating, as a personal statement closing paragraph is often the part that leaves the greatest impression in the mind of the reader.

So how should you end a personal statement and create a great final paragraph?

When considering how to end a personal statement, don’t summarize existing content in a repetitive conclusion. Instead, clarify your suitability with a new example and evidence your value to the institution. Lastly, outline your ambitions in relation to the opportunities presented by the course.

I’ve broken down each of these elements in detail so that you can craft a successful personal statement final paragraph…

The Final Paragraph Must Evidence Your Suitability

Instead of detailing all the key areas in which you are a suitable candidate for the course or role early on in your personal statement, it is valuable to hold back at least one example in order to add credibility and weight to your final paragraph.

This could outline an additional course you have completed or a qualification that you have achieved, but it could equally be a volunteering opportunity or work placement that reinforces your suitability for the higher study of a particular subject.

Admissions teams really want to see that applicants are clearly suitable for the courses they’re applying for, but also that they are suitably prepared for academic success.

Essentially, they want to know that you understand what you’ll be doing on the course and that you’re qualified to do it well . That’s why driving this point home in the last paragraph is so important.

For more of my powerful personal statement strategies, just click here .

The table below gives some examples of ways in which you might evidence your suitability in your final paragraph . They won’t all apply to you, but the chances are that you will recognise some of these aspects from your own preparation for higher education, and be able to include them:

Here’s how a sentence might look in a personal statement example…

If you’d like a detailed post on the skills you need to include in your personal statement, then why not check this out?

Outline Your Value to the University or Employer

It’s important that the final paragraph of your personal statement clearly outlines your potential value to the organisation. To understand exactly the kind of content that admissions tutors are looking for, ask yourself this question:

How will the university I am applying for, the faculty in which I will study and the community in which I will live, be better for having me be a part of it? David Hallen

As Whitney Soule, Dean of Admissions at Bowdoin puts it:

If a university can see evidence that you will make a positive contribution to their organisation clearly in the final paragraph of your personal statement, then you will have left them with an excellent impression of your potential.

But how exactly might you add value, and how do you write about it concisely?

Adding Value to your Personal Statement

• Experience of diversity when contextualised in terms of social, cultural, gender, ethnicity, sexuality or ability. Your experiences will add to the wisdom and education of your cohort at a time when identity and empathy is paramount.
• Knowledge of more than your subject . The life experiences, travel, background and passions that make you an individual and that you can share in a positive context are vital.
• Sports skills or related team and community experiences . From playing soccer to white-water rafting, acapella singing or ultimate frisbee, the skills you bring to share with others are an important way to add value.
• Experience of or intention to mentor . If you can show that you intend to mentor and support other students with a particular level of expertise, you’ll be a tremendous asset.
• Proven commitment and dedication . Explain how you have the tenacity and resilience to overcome challenges by equating that with a specific example from your own life, and give the reader the confidence that you will successfully complete the course regardless of the hardships you face.
• If you have experiences of leadership , make these clear and indicate how these are of value to the organisation. From captaining a team to leading on a research project, your ability to motivate and facilitate those around you make you a genuine asset.

A couple of sentences in your final paragraph that meets this goal might look something like this:

For some excellent advice on developing some outstanding personal statement examples, check out my post here . Alternatively, using a free software package like Grammarly can really help applicants convey the depth of their academic value. Check it out here or hit the banner below…

Finish Your Personal Statement by Showing Ambition

The last essential element of a great final paragraph is proof of ambition relating to the content and outcome of the course you are applying for .

If you can show that you have an informed understanding of where the course can take you and a good idea of the demands of the industry you might want to enter, your final paragraph will be far more convincing.

You’ll need to make sure you’ve achieved 3 important tasks before you type a single word…

• You’ve fully researched the course(s) you are applying for and can reference the academic content, employment opportunities and outcomes
• You’ve got some practical and theoretical understanding of the industries related to the course, prior to application
• You’ve given some contextualised thought to your potential role within those industries, and how the course will help you reach that goal

For more specific content on how original a personal statement should be, and just how to include your ambitions and experiences in a way that readers will find compelling, check this post out .

Once you’ve got some notes on these three points, you can put a sentence together that evidences your ambition, promotes your application and demonstrates your understanding of your sector. An effective couple of sentences might look like this:

You can watch a great tutorial on showing ambition in your personal statement below, or check out some helpful UCAS resouces .

Whatever order you decide to tackle them in, if you ensure you include the three elements detailed in this post, you’ll be sure to write a relevant and compelling final paragraph, leaving the reader confident about making you an offer.

Good luck with your personal statement, and don’t forget to contact me if you’d like some 1-1 support. You’ve got this! D

Research and content verified by Personal Statement Planet.

David Hallen

I've worked in the Further Education and University Admissions sector for nearly 20 years as a teacher, department head, Head of Sixth Form, UCAS Admissions Advisor, UK Centre Lead and freelance personal statement advisor, editor and writer. And now I'm here for you...

Recent Posts

Postgraduate Personal Statement Example: Environmental Policy

Studying examples of personal statements can be a valuable strategy when applying to a university or college.  That’s because personal statement examples can teach you how to write and...

Postgraduate Personal Statement Example: Technology Entrepreneurship & Innovation

Examples of personal statements can be valuable to reference when applying to a university or college course.  That’s because personal statement examples can teach you how to write and...

How to End a Personal Statement: Writing a Conclusion

Reviewed by:

Former Admissions Committee Member, Columbia University

Reviewed: 4/26/24

When you know how to end a personal statement, you boost your chances of making a lasting impact on the admissions committee. It's all about making sure they remember you in a positive way. ‍

Crafting a compelling personal statement is the cherry on top of your college application essay. It's that final chance to leave a lasting impression on the admissions committee, to wrap up your story with finesse, and to underscore why you're the ideal candidate for their institution. 

So, let's delve into the art of writing a powerful conclusion that will make your application shine.

The Importance of a Strong Conclusion

Just like a personal statement introduction , the importance of a strong conclusion in your college application personal statement cannot be overstated. It's your last chance to leave a powerful impression on the admissions committee by summarizing your key points and reinforcing your main message.

A well-crafted conclusion offers clarity, closure, and reflection while expressing your enthusiasm for the future. It's the finishing touch that can make your personal statement truly memorable.

Defining the Purpose of a Personal Statement Conclusion

The conclusion of a personal statement plays an important role:

• Reinforces Your Core Message : It strengthens the central message or theme that runs through your personal statement, leaving a lasting impression of your candidacy.
• Recaps Key Element s: It concisely summarizes the main ideas, important experiences, and notable achievements highlighted in your essay, offering a quick reminder of your qualifications.
• Leaves an Impact : Similar to a memorable closing scene in a movie, a well-crafted conclusion can have a powerful impact. Whether through a thought-provoking question, an impactful quote, or a glimpse into your future goals, it aims to engage the reader's thoughts and emotions.
• Demonstrates Your Writing Skills : Your conclusion also shows off your writing abilities, highlighting your capacity to convey your message effectively and memorably.

The conclusion adds the final touch to your personal statement. It brings clarity, wraps things up, and encourages reflection while showing your excitement for the future. Remember, a personal statement is not a statement of purpose . 

It’s all about explaining why you’re the right candidate for the program you’re applying to, rather than simply explaining why you’re applying. You need to stand out! This is your final opportunity to leave a strong impression on the admissions committee, making sure they understand why you're an exceptional applicant.

Selecting the Right Approach for Concluding

When you're reaching the end of your personal statement, it's crucial to select an approach that harmonizes with the tone and message of your essay. Take a moment to reflect on the story you've shared and the impression you aim to leave with the admissions committee.

If your personal statement has revolved around a narrative, a reflective conclusion that links back to your story can be fitting. Conversely, if your essay leans towards analysis or persuasion, you might opt to restate your main argument or emphasize the key points. 

Think about what will resonate most with your reader, and make sure your conclusion seamlessly follows the flow of your preceding content. This ensures a cohesive and impactful ending to your personal statement.

Summarizing Key Points

A concise summary can be highly effective in the conclusion of your personal statement. Revisit the main points, experiences, or achievements you've shared in your essay. This summary provides a quick refresher for the reader and reinforces your most significant qualifications and attributes.

It's a way to emphasize what makes you a strong candidate without restating everything in your essay. Keep it brief and focused, highlighting the highlights that best support your application. This approach ensures that your conclusion leaves a lasting impression while staying concise and to the point.

Reiterating the Thesis or Main Message

In your personal statement, you often have a central theme or message, such as your passion for a subject, your dedication to community service , or your ability to overcome challenges. Reiterating this thesis or main message in the conclusion is valuable.

By reinforcing the importance of your central theme and explaining how it relates to your desire to be a part of the college community, you can leave a strong and lasting impression on the admissions committee. This restatement emphasizes your unique qualities and aspirations, helping your personal statement stand out.

Ending With a Thought-Provoking Question

Ending your personal statement with a thought-provoking question can engage the reader and invite them to reflect further on your essay's themes. This question should tie back to your story and message, encouraging the admissions committee to consider its implications. 

However, be mindful not to make the question overly open-ended. Instead, guide the reader toward thoughtful reflection on your experiences and goals, reinforcing your candidacy effectively.

Closing With a Powerful Quote

Adding a meaningful quote to your conclusion can elevate your personal statement. Just make sure it aligns with your essay's themes and provides valuable insights. A well-picked quote connects your story to a broader perspective, making a lasting impact.

Suggesting Future Goals or Intentions

If your future goals align with the college you're applying to, your conclusion can serve as a bridge between your past experiences and your future aspirations. You can briefly mention how your journey has prepared you for what lies ahead and how you intend to contribute to the college community. 

This not only demonstrates your enthusiasm but also highlights the value you'll bring to the college. Just ensure that your future intentions feel authentic and well-aligned with your personal narrative.

In a nutshell, your choice of conclusion approach can make a world of difference in how your personal statement lands with the admissions committee. The right conclusion, like the perfect closing note of a melody, can leave a lasting impression that resonates with those who read it.

Determining the Most Suitable Conclusion Approach

Keep reading for the key points on how to determine the most suitable conclusion approach for your personal statement:

• Identify Your Main Message : Begin by pinpointing your personal statement's central theme or message. What have you been trying to convey throughout your essay? This central message should guide your choice of conclusion.
• Consider Your Audience : Think about the admissions committee who will be reading your personal statement. What type of conclusion would resonate with them? Consider what qualities or values they seek in prospective students.
• Match the Style : Reflect on the style of your essay. Have you been narrating a story, reflecting on experiences, making a persuasive argument, or analyzing a topic? Your conclusion should align with the style you've used throughout your essay.
• Authenticity Is Key : Ensure that your conclusion is authentic and true to your own voice. It should reflect your genuine self and not feel forced or insincere.
• Don't Shy Away from Unconventional Approaches : Sometimes, a slightly unconventional conclusion approach can leave a more memorable impression. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone if it enhances your message and connection with the reader.
• Seek Feedback : Share your conclusion approach with trusted individuals who are familiar with college applications. They can provide valuable insights into the effectiveness of your chosen approach.
• Get Support : Don't be afraid to ask for assistance if you need it. Our team of experts is here to provide personalized support in crafting your personal statement introduction, making sure it truly stands out.

Your conclusion is your final opportunity to make an impact, so choose an approach that feels right for you and effectively conveys your message to the admissions committee.

Check out our database of over 55 free college personal statement examples . It's your go-to resource for crafting a standout statement that reflects your goals and experiences. Whether you're applying for undergrad or grad school, we've got you covered with diverse examples to inspire your writing. Dive in and unleash the potential of your application!

How Long Should the Conclusion of a Personal Statement Be?

When it comes to the length of your personal statement conclusion, try to keep it around 150 to 200 words. This range strikes the right balance between wrapping up your essay effectively and leaving a memorable mark on your reader.

Remember, though, that different application platforms may have specific word limit guidelines. For instance, the Common Application allows for personal statements ranging from 250 to 650 words, while the Coalition Application suggests 500 to 650 words. QuestBridge, on the other hand, typically sticks to a 650-word limit.

So, as you craft your conclusion, always keep an eye on those word limits. Staying within them showcases your ability to convey your message concisely and demonstrates your adherence to application guidelines, which admissions committees appreciate.

It's your chance to end your personal statement on a high note, leaving a positive and lasting impression.

Tips for Personal Statement Endings

Writing an effective personal statement ending for your college application is crucial. Here are some tips to help you create a compelling and memorable conclusion:

• Reflect on Your Journey : Take a moment to think about the experiences and challenges you've faced during your academic journey. Your conclusion should connect these elements to your future aspirations.
• Revisit Your Main Message : Your personal statement likely conveys a central message about yourself. Reiterate this message in your conclusion, but do so in a way that adds depth or a new perspective to it.
• Engage Your Reader : Consider ending with a thought-provoking question or a powerful quote that relates to your essay's themes. This can stimulate the reader's thoughts and emotions and leave a lasting impression.
• Look to the Future : If applicable, hint at your future goals and how they align with the college you're applying to. This demonstrates your enthusiasm and commitment to contributing to the college community.
• Match the Tone : Ensure that your conclusion aligns with the overall tone and style of your personal statement. Whether your essay is reflective, narrative-driven, analytical, or persuasive, the conclusion should feel like a natural extension of your essay's content and style.
• Stay Concise : While your conclusion is essential, it should also be concise. Avoid introducing new information or going into extensive detail. Instead, focus on reinforcing key points and leaving a strong impression.
• Proofread and Revise : Just like the rest of your personal statement, your conclusion should be well-edited and error-free. Proofread it carefully and consider seeking feedback from teachers, mentors, or peers.
• Follow Word Limits : Adhere to any word limits provided by the application platform. Typically, a personal statement ending should be around 150-200 words, but this can vary depending on the application portal.

Remember, a conclusion is your final chance to leave a positive and lasting impression on the admissions committee. Use it wisely to showcase your strengths, uniqueness, and commitment to your academic and personal journey.

Examples of Great Personal Statement Conclusions

Now, let's take a look at some personal statement conclusion examples for inspiration.

Statement Example 1

“Our first theater meeting of the year was about a month ago. Remembering my freshman year, I brought everyone on stage. This year, I switched it up. Everyone stood in the circle for icebreakers. After each response, I asked follow-up questions and prompted others to share stories of similar experiences. And just like me, there were nervous freshmen, with little to no experience. This time, I spoke up: “Oh I’ve never heard of that show. Tell me about it sometime.”

Why This Ending Worked?

This ending worked because it circles back to the beginning, creating a sense of closure and symmetry. By recalling the initial theatre meeting and contrasting it with the present, the conclusion highlights personal growth and leadership development.

It effectively showcases the candidate's ability to engage with others, take initiative, and foster a supportive community, all of which are desirable qualities in many academic and professional settings.

Statement Example 2

“Now, I don’t let people go below what I like to call the [NAME] standard’. If I feel like someone is not treating me or my friends fairly, I don’t entertain their company.

What [NAME] did wasn’t anything extravagant. He didn’t give his kidney and he didn’t race down the 101 to save me from some terrible tragedy. However, the appreciation that [NAME] showed for me and how he vocalized who I was to him, meant all the difference to me.

Now, I always let my friends know that I appreciate them and that I am thankful to have them in my life. This gift has helped me with choosing better friends who I love and appreciate. Thanks to Ben, he’s shown me how great life is when you're not alone.”

This ending worked because it emphasizes personal growth and gratitude while also acknowledging the influence of someone significant in the candidate's life. 

The conclusion adds depth and sincerity to the narrative by expressing appreciation for a friend's impact. It illustrates the candidate's values, particularly regarding friendship and integrity, and suggests how these values shape their relationships and decisions.

Statement Example 3

“I’m proud to say I can be vulnerable and act on my insecurities. I became an amicable, self-aware, and social person gaining respect and friendship amongst teachers and peers. Throughout college, I make sure to spend time with my family by cooking dinner for them once a week, sending them silly texts of cute animals, or just giving them a call. My transition to becoming more open has ultimately led to my career path as an [JOB TITLE] - creating better lives for marginalized communities. Understanding what other people go through and being susceptible will allow me to properly achieve my goals and assist those in need. It’s [YEAR], and my dad is in the best shape of his life. I show my gratitude by accompanying him during his checkups and scolding him for trying to eat poorly.”

This ending worked because it brings the narrative full circle by revisiting a key theme introduced earlier in the statement: family and vulnerability. 

By sharing a specific, heartfelt moment with their father, the conclusion underscores the candidate's personal values and aspirations. It demonstrates a commitment to family and community, as well as a sense of responsibility towards others, which aligns well with their chosen career path.

Statement Example 4

“In conclusion, I am excited about the opportunity to study computer science at this university. My passion for technology, combined with my programming skills and experience, make me an ideal candidate for the program. I am eager to learn from the esteemed faculty and contribute to the research community. I am confident that this program will enable me to achieve my career goals and make a meaningful impact in the field of technology.”

This ending worked because it succinctly summarizes the candidate's motivation and qualifications while expressing enthusiasm for the opportunity. 

It reiterates their passion for the field and their confidence in their abilities, leaving a positive impression on the reader. The conclusion effectively reinforces the candidate's suitability for the program and their commitment to making a meaningful contribution.

Statement Example 5

“In summary, I have always been fascinated by the human body and its functions. My experience in volunteering in hospitals, combined with my academic record, makes me confident in my ability to handle the rigours of a medical degree. I am excited about the opportunity to study at this esteemed university and to contribute to the field of medicine through research and patient care.”

This ending worked because it encapsulates the candidate's passion for medicine and their readiness for the challenges ahead. It combines their practical experience with their academic achievements, reinforcing their confidence in pursuing a medical degree. 

The conclusion conveys excitement and purpose, leaving the reader with a strong sense of the candidate's dedication to their chosen profession.

Statement Example 6

“Finally, I am honoured to be considered for a law degree at this university. My passion for justice, combined with my research skills and experience, make me an ideal candidate for the program. I am excited about the opportunity to learn from the esteemed faculty and to contribute to the legal field through research and practice.”

This ending worked because it reinforces the candidate's commitment to pursuing a career in law while also expressing enthusiasm for the educational opportunity. It succinctly summarizes their qualifications and motivations, leaving a positive impression on the reader. 

The conclusion highlights the candidate's passion for justice and their eagerness to contribute to the legal profession, underscoring their readiness for further study and professional growth.

Wondering how to conclude a personal statement? Let’s take a closer look by going over some commonly asked questions.

1. Is It a Good Idea to Reiterate the Main Message or Thesis Statement When Concluding a Personal Statement?

It's a smart move to recap your main message when concluding your personal statement. Reiterating your central theme creatively reinforces your uniqueness as an applicant without being repetitive, making a lasting impact on the reader.

2. Is It Acceptable to End a Personal Statement With a Question or a Quote?

Absolutely, you can conclude your personal statement with a question or quote that fits your essay's tone and message, engaging the reader and reinforcing your key points.

3. Can I Summarize the Key Points of My Personal Statement in the Conclusion?

Summarizing key points in your conclusion is a common and effective practice. Keep it short and sweet, focusing on the highlights that really support your application. 

Final Thoughts

There you have it! Your personal statement's conclusion is crucial. Now that you know how to end a personal statement, you're ready to leave a strong impression on the admissions committee. Your conclusion is your final chance to convince them that you're the right candidate for the opportunity. Make it count!

Get A Free Consultation

You may also like.

NSHSS vs. NHS: Understanding The Difference

Best Colleges for History Majors

Professionals

How to Write a Strong Conclusion to Your Personal Statement

Written by David Lombardino   |  Updated February 23, 2024

Hook Them Through to the End

You can hook your reader with the introduction to your personal statement . And you can wow them with magical words in your personal statement . But if you don’t write a strong conclusion to your personal statement? You’ll leave program directors and admission committees with a whimper, rather than a bang.

The conclusion forms a critical part of your personal statement. Program directors and admission committees may skip to it after reading your introduction. Or they may start with it, even before reading your introduction.

The reason they do this? To get through the many applications they have to review each cycle.

Good conclusions will deliver the points admission committees expect to see. And great conclusions will enhance their views of you as an applicant.

Here, I present how to write a great conclusion to your personal statement.

Where Does This Advice Come From?

It comes from my 8 years as an editor at UNESCO prior to founding DLA back in 2008 . It comes from interviews I've had with program directors and those who serve on admission committees. And it comes from 15+ years of helping applicants like you write outstanding personal statements .

3 Key Concepts and a Formula for Success

How do you write a conclusion in a personal statement? It starts with these three concepts:

• Avoid stating it is your conclusion;
• Avoid introducing an unsupported concept; and
• Be specific in the details.

First, I will discuss these three key concepts in detail. Then I will share my foolproof method for how to write a personal statement conclusion.

Key #1: Avoid Stating It Is Your Conclusion

A thought you may have is to start your conclusion with “In conclusion.” Or “In summary.” You want to make sure to avoid this, or anything similar.

Why is this? Program directors and admission committees see it's your last paragraph. In other words, they already know it's your conclusion. So make your personal statement great by leaving this out.

Simply, using extra words makes your writing less engaging. Wordiness can indicate a lack of diligence or maturity. It can indicate a lack of focus or clarity. And it can indicate self-doubt in what you are writing.

This is true, no matter where it may occur in your personal statement.

Key #2: Avoid Introducing an Unsupported Concept

Great conclusions advance the concepts of your personal statement. This means avoiding introducing an unsupported idea. Instead, make sure all ideas connect back to what you have written earlier.

Let's say, for example, you haven't yet discussed your love of teaching. And teaching is important to your future career. You'll certainly want to include it in your conclusion. So just make sure you've written about it earlier in your personal statement. That way, it won't come out of nowhere when writing about it in your conclusion.

If you write a new, unsupported idea in your conclusion, you may convey:

• You do not know how to effectively organize your personal statement;
• You are trying to cram too many ideas into your personal statement; or
• You are ticking off a checklist of what to say.

There are a couple of exceptions to this point. Are you an older candidate? Do you have multiple significant items you need to discuss? There may simply be not enough room for all these in the body paragraphs. In this case, your only option may be to present one in the conclusion.

In such cases, there are a few guidelines to follow. First is you must fully develop the new idea in your conclusion. You must do more than simply mention it.

Second, it must extend from a point made earlier in the personal statement. It must have a foundation.

Finally, it must dovetail seamlessly with the rest of the conclusion. And it must do so without the conclusion becoming too long. (This can be challenging, so don't be afraid to ask for help.)

Key #3: Be Specific in the Details

Key to writing a great personal statement is being specific . This means being specific both in the words you use (e.g., avoiding using “thing”) and in the details you write.

Many candidates make the mistake of being vague in the conclusion. This relates especially to what you wish to accomplish in the program. You may want to write to "increase my knowledge." Or you may want to write to "gain exposure in a variety of settings."

Can you make these more specific, so they can be more effective for you? For example, in what specific areas do you wish to increase your knowledge? What specific settings do you want to gain exposure to?

Any ways you can be more specific will make your conclusion stronger.

Formula for a Great Conclusion to Your Personal Statement

The formula I present here takes you step by step through writing your conclusion. It includes how to start the conclusion to your personal statement. It includes how to end it. And it includes how long your personal statement conclusion should be.

While the formula makes a logical progression, feel free to change it up. If you find another order works better for you, then go for it. Just make sure you have covered each item in your conclusion.

How Long Should the Conclusion to a Personal Statement Be?

Part 1: start with your vision for your future career.

The key to a great conclusion is in how you start. Start with your vision for your future career. This is a single sentence stating where you see yourself 5 to 10 years from now. Think of your vision as your conclusion's thesis statement.

The vision can be your medium-term goals, your long-term goals or both. Choose whichever option brings a better focus and context for your conclusion.

For example, you may wish to pursue cardiology fellowship after internal medicine residency.

Or you may wish, after law school, to enter private practice with time devoted to pro bono work.

But what if these goals change as you progress through the program? That's okay. You don't have to get them exactly right in your personal statement. And you don't have to stick to them just because you mentioned them.

The aim here is to demonstrate a clear vision for the path you are on. Being intentional will make your application stand out.

Part 2: Next, State Precisely What You Seek to Accomplish in the Program

After establishing your medium- and long-term goals, work backward from there. Perform a self-assessment. What precisely do you need to accomplish next? What next step will better position you to achieve your career vision?

The more specific you can be with these answers, the better. Then frame these as what precisely you seek to accomplish in the program.

For example, will you aim to apply for a cardiology fellowship? Then pursuing cardiology electives would be a goal for internal medicine residency.

What about for applying to law school? Is your long-term goal to practice in an area with litigation? Then a goal for law school would be to participate in mock trial.

Part 3: Then, Therefore, State the Specific Aspects You Are Seeking in a Program

First, you established your vision. Then you identified the next step to take toward achieving that vision. Now state which aspects would equip you to achieve that next step.

Does the program have a high rate of case types that align with your interests? Does it offer certain relevant technologies? Training in certain techniques? Particular courses or electives ?

Are there particular faculty whose research interests fascinate you?

What about elective rotations? Or partnerships available in the program?

Do they offer an elective rotation in a cath lab? That would be great for someone wanting a career in cardiology. What about a renown mock trial program? That would be great for a career in litigation.

And you can go further. Are you an aspiring Vietnamese doctor or lawyer? Do you want to work with Vietnamese immigrants? Does the program you are applying to serve such a population? Then mention that.

Geographic and Other Ties to the Program

Do you have geographic or other ties to the program? For example, do you have family or close friends in the area? Do you have colleagues who graduated from the program where you are applying? Great! This is where you would mention them.

This applies even if you are applying for medical residency and are specifying geographic and other preferences in your ERAS Application .

For each of your top-choice program(s), write a different version of your conclusion. Tailor it to each program.

Then group all the other programs by common features (e.g., geography). Make sure to be as specific as possible when doing so. Then tailor a different version of your conclusion for each group of programs.

Part 4: Finally, State What You Offer to the Program

Have you accomplished the above three points? Great! All that's left is to state what you offer to the program.

This is actually quite easy. Start by identifying the themes you have written in your personal statement. Check your introduction and each body paragraph. Then list these themes, in keyword form, as what you offer to the program.

In this way, you accomplish two goals. First is to wrap up your personal statement's main points. Second is to provide a forward-looking statement as you bring it to an end.

This website uses cookies to improve user experience. By using our website you consent to all cookies in accordance with our Cookie Policy .

The Uni Guide has a fresh new look

• Teacher training
• Bangor University
• Birmingham City University
• Sheffield Hallam University
• University of Aberdeen
• University of East Anglia
• University of Hull
• University of Kent
• University of Reading
• Clearing and results day
• Preparing for university
• Ucas application
• Student finance
• Student accommodation
• Choosing a course
• A-level results day: what to expect
• A guide to Btec results day
• How Ucas Hub works on results day
• What to say in a Clearing phone call
• 10 tips to help you with Ucas Clearing
• A guide to Clearing 2024
• Which university is right for you?
• What you need to know about getting a university scholarship, grant or bursary
• How to decide on a university course
• Is a higher or degree apprenticeship right for you?
• Universities

By Nik Taylor (Editor, The Uni Guide) | 19 October 2023 | 4 min read

Finished! University experts on how to end your personal statement

Got writer's block at the final hurdle? We spoke to university experts to find out how you can close your personal statement with a flourish

Share this page

Email & print.

You've got the beginning and middle parts of your personal statement sorted – but how are you going to finish it? And does the ending even really matter?  Short answer: yes, it does. Your personal statement is your one chance to speak directly to the universities where you're applying - and the ending is where you can leave them with the right impression. “A strong conclusion is essential to leave no doubt in the reader's mind that you deserve an offer," says  Bangor University’s  Emma Harris. To help you sign off your personal statement in style, we spoke to experts from universities across the UK. Here, they share essential tips on concluding your personal statement.  

1. Is your personal statement ready to be finished?

Your conclusion is where you can bring together all the key points from the rest of your personal statement. But before you can write a summary like that, you need to make sure nothing's missing. "A strong conclusion gives a roundup of the evidence a student has given in their statement to show how their knowledge, skills and experiences will enable them to come to university and not only want to learn more but also want to succeed in the future," says Laura Knight, education liaison officer at  Staffordshire University . So have a read through what you've already written and ask yourself: do you have all those elements covered? If your ending is proving tricky to write, it may be that you haven't yet got everything you need in the main statement.

• Read more: how to write an excellent personal statement in 10 steps

2. Share your motivation

Once you're confident you've included all the essentials, you can focus your conclusion on connecting these key points. This closing chunk of your statement is a space where you can really emphasise your qualities. It's where you can show why you want to commit your time and energy to studying this course.  "You will have a reason for applying to university and to your particular course," says Ian Freedman, student recruitment officer at  Keele University . "The conclusion offers a great opportunity for you to reiterate what this reason is."  "Summarise what you are most looking forward to about studying at university [and] why you feel that this is the right course choice for you," says Kirsty Wilkinson, school and college liaison manager at Loughborough University .

• More like this: universities reveal all about personal statements

3. Don’t waffle

You've written a great personal statement so far; don't close it off with a load of meaningless waffle.  Keep up the momentum by "using your conclusion to reinforce your commitment to the course you’ve chosen" says Pat Watson, head of UK and EU admissions at  Anglia Ruskin University . "Keeping this short and concise is better than long and vague."

Rosie Reynolds, outreach officer at the  University of Westminster , agrees. "You should use this section to clarify to the admissions tutor that you meet the criteria they are looking for." 

Be careful not to waste this space by adding unecessary additional personal information. "Keep it simple, concise and relevant!" says Gavin May, student recruitment assistant at  St George's, University of London . 

• More like this: how to write your university application

4. Make it clear why you’ll be an asset to the university

What better way to finish than by spelling out exactly why you'll be such a great student? Well, for many people, talking about yourself with confidence is actually one of the hardest aspects of writing a personal statement. But now's not the time to be shy. "End with a statement about why the universities would benefit from having you as a student," says Hannah Robinson, outreach officer at the  University of East Anglia . "Share how you’ll make the most of your uni experience and how you’re looking forward to the challenge." 

When you're doing this, think beyond the academic, says Shona Barrie from  Heriot-Watt University . "Tell us why you will be an asset to our university community. So it's not just about getting a degree – it's about appreciating the bigger picture."

• More like this: the ten biggest mistakes when writing your personal statement

5. Explain how university fits into your life plan

You could use your conclusion to look to the future, explaining exactly where you want to end up and how this particular course will help you get there.  "Present your long-term plans and how your chosen course will help you to achieve this," suggests Ann Partington, senior admissions officer at  UCLan .

Kimberley Ashwell, admissions officer at  Buckinghamshire New University  adds that providing some information on "what you imagine yourself doing after you complete your degree" will help the admissions team to picture how you’ll fit at the university.

Then, "once you've drawn together your motivations for further study, your current studies and career ambitions, deliver a strong, final line about why you deserve an offer" concludes James Aitken, schools and colleges liaison manager at  Royal Holloway . 

• More like this: five practical tips to help with your personal statement

And finally...get some back-up

For answers to any questions about writing your personal statement, you can ask the personal statement experts on The Student Room .

You can also  take inspiration from The Student Room's personal statement library  and find discussion about each university in the UK .  

You may want to look at these...

Writing a history personal statement: expert advice from universities.

Here’s how to shine in your history personal statement

The Ucas personal statement is changing in 2025

A question-based personal statement will be required as part of university applications from autumn 2025 onwards

How to write an excellent personal statement in 10 steps

Help and advice on putting your application together

Related to this article

Search the uni guide, find further advice or search for information on a course or university.

• Search Advice
• Search courses &/or universities

The Uni Guide and The Student Room are both part of The Student Room Group.

Promoted universities

• Durham University
• Lancaster University
• University of Glasgow
• University of the Arts London
• University of Southampton
• Swansea University
• Aston University, Birmingham
• Ulster University
• Cardiff University
• University of Essex

Browse expert advice

• Oxbridge applications
• Personal statements
• University open days
• Ucas deadline 2024 countdown
• A-level choices
• GCSE choices and university
• Making firm and insurance choices
• Student life
• Advice for parents

About this site

• Cookie policy
• List of universities and colleges
• Privacy notice
• Terms and conditions
• Where we get our info

Who we work with

• Your account settings

Ad privacy settings

Popular tools and features

• A-level Explorer
• Course search

Connect with us

How to Write a UCAS Personal Statement [With Examples]

James is senior content marketing manager at BridgeU. He writes and directs content for BridgeU's university partners and our community of international schools

What are the big challenges students should be aware of before writing their UCAS Personal Statement?

• The essential ingredients for writing a great Personal Statement
• How to write the UCAS Personal Statement [with examples]

Final hints & tips to help your students

Join 10,000 other counsellors & educators & get exclusive resources delivered straight to your inbox.

The UCAS Personal Statement can sometimes be a student’s only chance to impress a UK university. Read our in-depth guide to helping your students plan & write a winning application.

There are hundreds of articles out there on how to write a UCAS Personal Statement that will grab the attention of a UK university admissions officer.  

But if you’re working with students to help them perfect their Personal Statement in time for the  relevant UCAS deadlines , we can sum up the secret to success in three words.

Planning, structure and story. 

The UCAS Personal Statement is a student’s chance to talk about why they want to study for a particular degree, course or subject discipline at a UK university. 

As they set about writing a personal statement, students need to demonstrate the drive, ambition, relevant skills and notable achievements that make them a  suitable candidate for the universities they have chosen to apply to . 

But the UCAS Personal Statement requires students to write a lot about themselves in a relatively short space of time. That’s why lots of planning, a tight structure and a compelling story are essential if a student’s Personal Statement is to truly excel. 

As important deadlines for UK university applications grow closer, we at BridgeU have put together a guide, outlining some of the strategies and techniques to help your students to write a personal statement which is both engaging and truly individual.

Handpicked Related Content

Discover the simple steps that will boost the confidence of your native English speaking & ESL students alike in  University Application Essays: The 5 Secrets of Successful Writing .

As they begin to plan their Personal Statement, students may feel intimidated. It’s not easy to summarise your academic interests and personal ambitions, especially when you’re competing for a place on a course which is popular or has demanding entry requirements. In particular, students will likely come up against the following challenges.

Time pressure

Unfortunately, the Personal Statement (and other aspects of university preparation) comes during the busiest year of the student’s academic life so far.

Students, and indeed teachers and counsellors, must undertake the planning and writing of the personal statement whilst juggling other commitments, classes and deadlines, not to mention revision and open day visits!

Because there is already a lot of academic pressure on students in their final year of secondary school, finding the time and headspace for the personal statement can be hard, and can mean it gets pushed to the last minute. The risks of leaving it to the last minute are fairly obvious – the application will seem rushed and the necessary thought and planning won’t go into  making the personal statement the best it can be . 

Sticking closely to the Personal Statement format

The character limit which UCAS sets for the personal statement is very strict – up to 4,000 characters of text. This means that students have to express themselves in a clear and concise way; it’s also important that they don’t feel the need to fill the available space needlessly.  Planning and redrafting of a personal statement is essential .

Making it stand out

This is arguably the greatest challenge facing students – making sure that their statement sets them apart from everyone else who is competing for a place on any given course; in 2024 alone, UCAS received applications from 594,940 applicants. In addition, UCAS uses its own dedicated team and purpose built software to check every application for plagiarism, so it’s crucial that students craft a truly  original personal statement which is entirely their own work .

The essential ingredients for writing a great UCAS Personal Statement 

We’ve already mentioned our three watch words for writing a high quality Personal Statement.

Planning. Structure. Story. 

Let’s dig deeper into these three essential components in more detail.

Watch: How to Write a UCAS Personal Statement with University of Essex

Planning a ucas personal statement.

It might sound like a no-brainer, but it’s vital that students plan their Personal Statement before they start writing it. Specifically, the planning phase could include: 

• Students thoroughly researching the UK university courses they plan on applying to. 
• Deciding on what relevant material to include in their Personal Statement (we’ll cover this in more detail later on). 
• Writing an unedited first draft where they just get their thoughts and ideas down on paper. 

Structuring a UCAS Personal Statement

As we’ve discussed, the UCAS Personal Statement requires students to be extremely disciplined – they will be required to condense a lot of information into a relatively short written statement. This means that, after they’ve written a rough first draft, they need to think carefully about how they structure the final statement. 

A stand out Personal Statement will need a tight structure, with an introduction and a conclusion that make an impact and really help to tell a story about who your student is, and why they are drawn to studying this particular degree. 

This brings us nicely to our third and final ingredient…

Telling a story with a Personal Statement

The UCAS Personal Statement is a student’s opportunity to show a university who they are and how their life experiences have shaped their academic interests and goals. 

So a good Personal Statement needs to offer a compelling narrative, and that means making sure that a student’s writing is well-structured, and that every sentence and paragraph is serving the statement’s ultimate purpose –  to convince a university that your student deserves a place on their subject of choice. 

How to help your students start their UCAS Personal Statement

In order to ensure that a personal statement is delivered on time and to an appropriate standard, it’s essential to plan thoroughly before writing it. Here are some questions you can ask your students before they start writing:

How can you demonstrate a formative interest in your subject?

It may sound obvious but, in order for any UCAS personal statement to have the necessary structure and clarity, students need to think hard about why they want to study their chosen subject. Ask them to think about their responses to the following questions:

What inspired you to study your chosen subject?

Example answer:  My desire to understand the nature of reality has inspired me to apply for Physics and Philosophy

Was there a formative moment when your perspective on this subject changed, or when you decided you wanted to study this subject in more detail?

Example answer:  My interest in philosophy was awakened when I questioned my childhood religious beliefs; reading Blackburn’s “Think”, convinced me to scrutinise my assumptions about the world, and to ensure I could justify my beliefs.

Can you point to any role models, leading thinkers, or notable literature which has in turn affected your thinking and/or inspired you?

Example answer :  The search for a theory of everything currently being conducted by physicists is of particular interest to me and in “The Grand Design” Hawking proposes a collection of string theories, dubbed M-theory, as the explanation of why the universe is the way it is.

Asking your students to think about the “why” behind their chosen subject discipline is a useful first step in helping them to organise their overall statement. Next, they need to be able to demonstrate evidence of their suitability for a course or degree. 

How have you demonstrated the skills and aptitudes necessary for your chosen course?

Encourage students to think about times where they have demonstrated the necessary skills to really stand out. It’s helpful to think about times when they have utilised these skills both inside and outside the classroom. Ask students to consider their responses to the following questions. 

Can you demonstrate critical and independent thinking around your chosen subject discipline?

Example answer :  Currently I am studying Maths and Economics in addition to Geography. Economics has been a valuable tool, providing the nuts and bolts to economic processes, and my geography has provided a spatial and temporal element.

Are you able to demonstrate skills and competencies which will be necessary for university study?

These include qualities such as teamwork, time management and the ability to organise workload responsibly.

Example answer:  This year I was selected to be captain of the 1st XV rugby team and Captain of Swimming which will allow me to further develop my leadership, teamwork and organisational skills.

How have your extracurricular activities helped prepare you for university?

Students may believe that their interests outside the classroom aren’t relevant to their university application. So encourage them to think about how their other interests can demonstrate the subject-related skills that universities are looking for in an application. Ask students to think about any of the following activities, and how they might be related back to the subject they are applying for.

• Clubs/societies, or volunteering work which they can use to illustrate attributes such as teamwork, an interest in community service and the ability to manage their time proactively.
• Have they been elected/nominated as a team captain, or the head of a particular club or society, which highlights leadership skills and an ability to project manage?
• Can they point to any awards or prizes they may have won, whether it’s taking up a musical instrument, playing a sport, or participating in theatre/performing arts?
• Have they achieved grades or qualifications as part of their extracurricular activities? These can only help to demonstrate aptitude and hard work. 

How to write the UCAS Personal Statement [with examples] 

If sufficient planning has gone into the personal statement, then your students should be ready to go!

In this next section, we’ll break down the individual components of the UCAS Personal Statement and share some useful examples.

These examples come from a Personal Statement in support of an application to study Environmental Science at a UK university. 

Watch: King’s College London explain what they’re looking for in a UCAS Personal Statement

Introduction.

This is the chance for an applying student to really grab an admission tutor’s attention. Students need to demonstrate both a personal passion for their subject, and explain why they have an aptitude for it .  This section is where students should begin to discuss any major influences or inspirations that have led them to this subject choice. 

Example :  My passion for the environment has perhaps come from the fact that I have lived in five different countries: France, England, Spain, Sweden and Costa Rica. Moving at the age of 15 from Sweden, a calm and organized country, to Costa Rica, a more diverse and slightly chaotic country, was a shock for me at first and took me out of my comfort zone […] Also, living in Costa Rica, one of the most biodiverse countries in the world, definitely helped me realize how vulnerable the world is and how we need to take care of it in a sustainable manner. 

This opening paragraph immediately grabs the reader’s attention by giving the reader an insight into this student’s background and links their academic interests with something specific from the student’s personal backstory. 

Discussing Academic Achievements 

The next paragraph in this Personal Statement discusses the student’s academic achievements. Because this student has had an international education, they frame their academic achievements in the context of their personal background. They also cite useful examples of other curricula they have studied and the grades they have achieved. 

Example : 

Throughout my academic life I have shown myself to be a responsible student as well as a hard working one, despite the fact that I have had to move around a lot. I have achieved several other accomplishments such as a high A (286/300) in AS Spanish at age 15, and also completed a Spanish course of secondary studies for ‘MEP’(Ministerio de Educacion Publica), which is a system from Costa Rica.   

You’ll notice that this student doesn’t just list their achievements – their strong academic performance is always linked back to a wider discussion of their personal experiences. 

Showcasing Extracurricular Activities

As well as discussing academic achievements, a good Personal Statement should also discuss the student’s extracurricular activities, and how they relate back to the student’s overall university aspirations. 

By the third/fourth paragraph of the Personal Statement, students should think about incorporating their extracurricular experiences, 

Another valuable experience was when my class spent a week at a beach called ‘Pacuare’ in order to help prevent the eggs of the endangered leatherback turtle from being stolen by poachers who go on to sell them like chicken eggs. We all gained teamwork experience, which was needed in order to hide the eggs silently without scaring the mother turtles, as well as making it more difficult for the poachers to find them. 

When the poachers set fire to one of the sustainable huts where we were staying, not only did I gain self-awareness about the critical situation of the world and its ecosystems, I also matured and became even more motivated to study environmental sciences at university.

This is a particularly striking example of using extracurricular activities to showcase a student’s wider passion for the degree subject they want to study. 

Not only does this Personal Statement have a story about volunteering to save an endangered species, it also illustrates this applicants’ wider worldview, and helps to explain their motivation for wanting to study Environmental Science. 

Concluding the UCAS Personal Statement

The conclusion to a UCAS Personal Statement will have to be concise, and will need to tie all of a student’s academic and extracurricular achievements. After all, a compelling story will need a great ending. 

Remember that students need to be mindful of the character limit of a Personal Statement, so a conclusion need only be the length of a small paragraph, or even a couple of sentences. 

“ After having many varied experiences, I truly think I can contribute to university in a positive way, and would love to study in England where I believe I would gain more skills and education doing a first degree than in any other country.  “

A good Personal Statement conclusion will end with an affirmation of how the student thinks they can contribute to university life, and why they believe the institution in question should accept them. Because the student in this example has a such a rich and varied international background, they also discuss the appeal of studying at university in England. 

It’s worth taking a quick look at a few other examples of how other students have chosen to conclude their Personal Statement. 

Medicine (Imperial College, London) 

Interest in Medicine aside, other enthusiasms of mine include languages, philosophy, and mythology. It is curiously fitting that in ancient Greek lore, healing was but one of the many arts Apollo presided over, alongside archery and music.   I firmly believe that a doctor should explore the world outside the field of  Medicine, and it is with such experiences that I hope to better empathise and connect with the patients I will care for in my medical career. 

You’ll notice that this example very specifically ties the students’ academic and extracurricular activities together, and ties the Personal Statement back to their values and beliefs. 

Economic History with Economics (London School of Economics)

The highlight of my extra-curricular activities has been my visit to Shanghai with the Lord Mayor’s trade delegation in September 2012. I was selected to give a speech at this world trade conference due to my interest in economic and social history. […] I particularly enjoyed the seminar format, and look forward to experiencing more of this at university. My keen interest and desire to further my knowledge of history and economics, I believe, would make the course ideal for me.

By contrast, this conclusion ties a memorable experience back to the specifics of how the student will be taught at the London School of Economics – specifically, the appeal of learning in seminar format! 

There’s no magic formula for concluding a Personal Statement. But you’ll see that what all of these examples have in common is that they tie a student’s personal and academic experiences together – and tell a university something about their aspirations for the future.

Watch: Bournemouth University explain how to structure a UCAS Personal Statement

Know the audience

It can be easy for students to forget that the person reading a personal statement is invariably an expert in their field. This is why an ability to convey passion and think critically about their chosen subject is essential for a personal statement to stand out. Admissions tutors will also look for students who can structure their writing (more on this below). 

Students should be themselves

Remember that many students are competing for places on a university degree against fierce competition. And don’t forget that UCAS has the means to spot plagiarism. So students need to create a truly honest and individual account of who they are, what they have achieved and, perhaps most importantly, why they are driven to study this particular subject.

Proof-read (then proof-read again!)

Time pressures mean that students can easily make mistakes with their Personal Statements. As the deadline grows closer, it’s vital that they are constantly checking and rechecking their writing and to ensure that shows them in the best possible light. 

Meanwhile, when it comes to giving feedback to students writing their Personal Statements, make sure you’re as honest and positive as possible in the days and weeks leading up to submission day. 

And make sure they remember the three key ingredients of writing a successful Personal Statement. 

Planning, structure and story! 

Book a free demo

Learn how BridgeU can help deliver better outcomes for your students and improved results for your school

• Admission Essay
• Statement of Purpose Editing
• Personal Statement Editing
• Recommendation Letter
• Motivation Letter
• Cover Letter
• Supplemental Essay
• Letter of Continued Interest
• Scholarship Essay
• Role Model Essay
• Our Editors
• College Admission Essay Examples
• College Cover Letter Examples
• College Personal Statement Examples
• Graduate Personal Statement Examples
• Graduate Statement of Purpose Examples
• MBA Essay Examples
• MBA Personal Statement Examples
• MBA Resume Examples
• MBA Recommendation Letter Examples
• Medical School Personal Statement Examples
• Medical School Recommendation Letter Examples
• Pricing Plans
• Public Health
• Dissertation
• Research Paper
• Thesis Editing
• Academic Editing
• Motivation letter
• Letter of Recommendation
• Personal Statement
• Statement of Purpose

How to End a Personal Statement: Strong Tips And Examples

EssayEdge > Blog > How to End a Personal Statement: Strong Tips And Examples

When everything is written down, thoughts are made up together and you see the whole picture of your essay right in front of your eyes, you may think of how to end a personal statement . It may seem to be the easiest part of writing, but, to some extent, it is not. The destiny of the conclusion is to formulate the last impression of you as a personality. 

Table of Contents:

How to close a personal statement

Concluding the results of a completed job is always the most pleasing step in doing anything. Moreover, you can see with your own eyes the way you have passed to achieve your aim. The same regards personal statement conclusions. The key point of writing the conclusion is to accentuate the willingness of the applicant to receive a studying offer and get admitted to the educational institution. You have to think closely about the last paragraph in your essay. It must be the last bullet point to persuade the reader to do next-step actions further.

It may be difficult to decide what exact point you want to add at the end of the essay to complete the writing. First of all, take a break, read your essay several times, and summarize in your mind everything you have written. It is necessary to write standout sentences in your personal statement conclusion to assure the admission tutor that you are the one who is worth getting a place in the educational institution.

While writing, remember that you should concentrate on your essay’s main idea, whether it is the given topic or your personal opinion. The summary should be short and terse, but expedient. Moreover, keep in mind that you are supposed to fit into the given requirements. Your conclusion should be about ⅓ of the entire paper.

And remember to check, check, and check everything a few times.

How to end personal statement and not to fail it

While thinking about how to end personal statement, you may come up with a bunch of questions. The main one may be about what to write and not screw everything up. Here are a few examples of what you shouldn’t write in your conclusion paragraph.

• Rhetoric questions Forget about writing the statements you don’t know how to answer. This may only confuse the reader and leave them in suspense. In this way, you may only underline the point of not knowing something.
• Writing a list of your skills without proofs Even if you want to demonstrate all your skills, don’t do it without proof. Don’t waste the words for just designating the things you are able to do or the knowledge you have. It is wonderful that you have all these aspects, but the admission tutor may not understand the destiny of just naming. Try to involve them all in your main paragraph of the essay.
• Not expressing your future intensions Don’t just tell about your former personal background. It would be good to add to your personal statement conclusion some ideas on your future perspectives. Describe what you want to get out of the studying process and how you would embed it into your life and career.
• Plagiarism from successful essays It is not prohibited to use samples of successful essays just like a pattern. However, you must not copy paste as all the rights of the writer are reserved. It may only spoil your reputation and will not bring any advantages to your essay. If you feel that you need help, it is better to refer to personal statement editing rather than plagiarize.
• Writing the statements that are not related to the topic It is very good if you have a lot of stories to share. Though, you must be careful and think closely about whether the story you write about related to the main topic of your essay or not.

Need help? Check out EssayEdge editing services:

Personal statement conclusion: tips on doing such a thing

So, how to conclude a personal statement? Your conclusion should be comprehensive and impressible. Below you can find a few tips on how to write everything well.

• Take a break Really! It is worth it so to start in advance to have time to leave your writing for some time. After a break, you will read it with a new sight. Maybe you will remove something or, vice versa, add some more information. While having a break, you can think about the conclusion, you may recollect something in your mind that is worth to be written down.
• Read everything many times Yes, you may feel aversion from your essay, but remember that it is a step to your future success and that is why you have to be attentive to the details. Try to figure out the main storyline of your essay and hold it till the conclusion. Peruse everything that is already written many times and you may feel what is missing.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help If you feel confused and don’t know how to close a personal statement, you don’t have to be scared. Everything can be resolved, remember about that. Ask your friends or parents to read your personal statement as they don’t know you. They may share with you some ideas and tell the general impression. According to that knowledge, you can easily make up your thoughts. If you are still not sure about your text, you can use personal statement editing services. Professionals will touch you up to the thought that is in need.
• Summarize everything you mentioned above Yes, it is a very useful skill if you can do a summary, no matter if it is your essay or review of achievements that you have been doing through the years. Placing the accents and underlining your best sides would be a good idea.

Personal statement conclusion examples

As it is mentioned previously, there is nothing wrong with using personal statement conclusion examples. In this way, you can find inspiration and feel more confident and secure that you move in the right way. You shouldn’t neglect using successful examples to see how it works, but in no way, you mustn’t copy paste such samples into your essay.

Here is an example of a successful personal statement ending.

To summarize everything mentioned above, I reckon that I am that one person who is worthy of getting the allowance to enter the university. The main reason for that is my strong motivation to implicate the knowledge I’m supposed to get while studying, into the life of people around the world. As I mentioned before, I have such goals and a number of gained skills. Being admitted to the university may support my intentions and help me to develop the abilities I’ve already had. Moreover, I feel that this is a place where I must improve myself. I have a lot of familiar students and their stories about studying and university life impress me every time I hear them. My plans are global and I can make them real while studying and after graduating as I will have resources and experience. 

It is an example of a successful conclusion as the applicant highlighted their motivation, made an accent on the plans, and summarized the story that was told in the main paragraph. Also, this person mentioned that they have a kind of connection to the community of this university that gives an understanding that it will be easy for him to become a part of the university society.

Ending the personal statement is difficult, but the most pleasing part of the whole essay. With patience and efforts, everything can become possible. You can use examples to get inspiration. Moreover, using tips can really help you to cope with the given tasks. Remember that everything will be fine.  More details on how to write personal statement you can find in the EssayEdge blog. 

Popular Posts

April 8, 2024 How To Start a Scholarship Essay: Catch Reader’s Attention Fast

April 8, 2024 My Role Model Essay: A Few Ways to Elaborate on The Subject

April 8, 2024 How To Start a Personal Statement? | Writing Tips and Samples

Related Posts

August 26, 2024 College Essay Prompts: What Admissions Officers Are Really Looking For

August 1, 2024 What MCAT Score Do I Need for Med School

June 20, 2024 UC Essay Prompts 2025

©2024 Student Media LLC. All rights reserved.

EssayEdge: Essay Editing & Proofreading Service.

Our mission is to prepare you for academic and career success.

•   Log In  
•   Sign Up  
• Forgot password

Unable to log in? Please clear your browser's cache and then refresh this page and try again

Reset password Please enter your email address to request a password reset.

Check your email We’ve just sent a password reset link to your email.

This information is used to create your account

What are your chances of acceptance?

Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance.

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

• How To Write Your Undergraduate Personal Statement

Applying to university

• Getting started
• UCAS Tariff points
• Calculate your UCAS Tariff points
• Amendments to the Tariff consultation
• Offer rate calculator
• How to use the offer rate calculator
• Understanding historical entry grades data
• Admissions tests
• Deferred entry
• Personal statement advice and example: computer science
• Personal statement advice: English
• Personal statement advice: Midwifery
• Personal statement advice: animal science
• Personal statement advice: biology
• Personal statement advice: business and management
• Personal statement advice: chemistry
• Personal statement advice: dance
• Personal statement advice: dentistry
• Personal statement advice: drama
• Personal statement advice: economics
• Personal statement advice: engineering
• Personal statement advice: geography
• Personal statement advice: history
• Personal statement advice: law
• Personal statement advice: maths
• Personal statement advice: media studies and journalism
• Personal statement advice: medicine
• Personal statement advice: modern languages
• Personal statement advice: music
• Personal statement advice: nursing
• Personal statement advice: pharmacy
• Personal statement advice: physiotherapy
• Personal statement advice: politics
• Personal statement advice: psychology
• Personal statement advice: social work
• Personal statement advice: sociology
• Personal statement advice: sports science
• Personal statement advice: statistics
• Personal statement advice: teacher training and education
• Personal statement advice: veterinary medicine
• Personal statement: finance and accounting
• Filling in your application
• Staying safe online
• How to write a personal statement that works for multiple courses
• The new personal statement for 2026 entry
• Fraud and similarity
• How to start a personal statement: The attention grabber

How to end your personal statement

• Introducing the personal statement tool
• Personal statement dos and don'ts

What to include in a personal statement

• Using AI and ChatGPT to help you with your personal statement
• Using your personal statement beyond a university application
• Carers, estranged students, refugees, asylum seekers, and those with limited leave to remain
• Personal statement guides
• References for mature students

What's on this page?

What’s a personal statement, preparing to write your personal statement, how to open your personal statement, your personal skills and achievements, work experience and future plans.

An undergraduate personal statement is a chance to get noticed for the unique talents and experiences you have. It’s an important part of the application process as it’s an opportunity to talk about yourself and your passions, outside of your grades.  

In this article, we’re going to talk you through how to write an undergraduate personal statement that stands out, without leaving you feeling overwhelmed.

Chloe Ng, HE Career Coach, Manchester Metropolitan University

You’ll have heard the saying preparation is key, and that’s no different when you’re tackling your personal statement. There are two things to think about when you’re planning. The practical and factual information you need to get across, and the more emotional, human parts of you that make you different to everyone else.  

Before you start writing, take some time to think about the key things you’d want an admissions tutor to know about you, and get them down on paper. Don’t worry too much about making your notes perfect – this is more about making sure you know why you should be offered a place.

You can also look at the course description as this’ll help you with what to include and give you a good idea of what each uni is looking for. 

contact-events-sales-hero

Here are a few questions you can answer to help you get started:.

• Why have you chosen this course?
• What excites you about the subject? 
• Is my previous or current study relevant to the course?
• Have you got any work experience that might help you?
• What life experiences have you had that you could talk about?
• What achievements are you proud of?
• What skills do you have that make you perfect for the course?
• What plans and ambitions do you have for your future career?

Admissions Tutors will be reading a lot of personal statements so it’s important to grab their attention right from the start. 

Remember, it can only be 4,000 characters, which is about two sides of A4. So, you’ll need to use your words wisely to fit everything in.

You can find a full guide on How to start a personal statement: the attention grabber , but here are the main things to think about . 

• Don’t overthink the opening. Just start by showing your enthusiasm for the subject, showcasing your knowledge and understanding, and sharing your ambitions of what you want to achieve.
• Avoid cliches! Remember, this opening part is simply about introducing yourself, so let the admissions tutor reading your personal statement get to know you. 
• Keep it relevant and simple. You’re limited on how much you can include so avoid long-winded explanations. Why use 20 words when 10 can make your point? 

Annabell Price, L’Oréal degree apprentice (Professional Products Division)

Next, you’ll need to write about your personal skills and achievements. Universities like to know the abilities you have that’ll help you on the course, or generally with life at university.

Don’t forget to include evidence to back up why you’re so excited about the course(s) you’ve chosen.

• Be bold and talk about the achievements you’re proud of.
• Include positions of responsibility you hold, or have held, both in and out of school.
• What are the things that make you interesting, special, or unique? 

Your work experience and future plans are important to include. You should share details of jobs, placements, work experience, or voluntary work, particularly if it's relevant to your course. 

• Try to link any experience to skills or qualities that’ll make you successful.
• If you know what you’d like to do after as a career, explain how you plan to use the knowledge and experience that you’ll gain to launch your career.

It’s always good to connect the beginning of your statement to the end and a great way to reinforce what you said at the start.

You want to see the ending as your chance to finish in a way that’ll make the admissions tutor remember you. 

This final part of your personal statement should emphasise the great points you’ve already made and answer the question of why you should be offered a place on the course. 

Read our full guide on How to finish your statement the right way.  

The personal statement tool image

Don’t be tempted to copy or share your statement.

UCAS scans all personal statements through a similarity detection system to compare them with previous statements.

Any similarity greater than 30% will be flagged and we'll inform the universities and colleges to which you have applied. 

Find out more

Want to read more.

Check out our full list of Personal Statement Dos and Don’ts

See how you can use a personal statement beyond a university application

Now you’ve written your undergraduate personal statement, you’ll need to do a couple of final things before you submit it. 

• Have you proofread it?

Don’t just rely on spellcheckers. We’d recommend reading it out loud as that’s a great way to spot any errors as well as checking it sounds like you. 

• Have you asked for feedback?

Ask friends, family or a careers advisor to have a read through your personal statement and take their feedback on board.

Want more advice on your personal statement? Use the links below.

More advice

Use the UCAS’ personal statement tool alongside this guide to help you structure your ideas. Are you interested in how you can turn you Personal Statement into your CV?  Read our advice here

Start your search now

Get your UCAS Hub

Your place to discover your options and research your future.

Sponsored articles UCAS Media Service

Top tips to choose your clearing course, discover your future at oxford brookes, change is calling.

Have a language expert improve your writing

Run a free plagiarism check in 10 minutes, generate accurate citations for free.

• Knowledge Base
• How to conclude an essay | Interactive example

How to Conclude an Essay | Interactive Example

Published on January 24, 2019 by Shona McCombes . Revised on July 23, 2023.

The conclusion is the final paragraph of your essay . A strong conclusion aims to:

• Tie together the essay’s main points
• Show why your argument matters
• Leave the reader with a strong impression

Your conclusion should give a sense of closure and completion to your argument, but also show what new questions or possibilities it has opened up.

This conclusion is taken from our annotated essay example , which discusses the history of the Braille system. Hover over each part to see why it’s effective.

Braille paved the way for dramatic cultural changes in the way blind people were treated and the opportunities available to them. Louis Braille’s innovation was to reimagine existing reading systems from a blind perspective, and the success of this invention required sighted teachers to adapt to their students’ reality instead of the other way around. In this sense, Braille helped drive broader social changes in the status of blindness. New accessibility tools provide practical advantages to those who need them, but they can also change the perspectives and attitudes of those who do not.

Instantly correct all language mistakes in your text

Upload your document to correct all your mistakes in minutes

Table of contents

Step 1: return to your thesis, step 2: review your main points, step 3: show why it matters, what shouldn’t go in the conclusion, more examples of essay conclusions, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about writing an essay conclusion.

To begin your conclusion, signal that the essay is coming to an end by returning to your overall argument.

Don’t just repeat your thesis statement —instead, try to rephrase your argument in a way that shows how it has been developed since the introduction.

Receive feedback on language, structure, and formatting

Professional editors proofread and edit your paper by focusing on:

• Academic style
• Vague sentences
• Style consistency

See an example

Next, remind the reader of the main points that you used to support your argument.

Avoid simply summarizing each paragraph or repeating each point in order; try to bring your points together in a way that makes the connections between them clear. The conclusion is your final chance to show how all the paragraphs of your essay add up to a coherent whole.

To wrap up your conclusion, zoom out to a broader view of the topic and consider the implications of your argument. For example:

• Does it contribute a new understanding of your topic?
• Does it raise new questions for future study?
• Does it lead to practical suggestions or predictions?
• Can it be applied to different contexts?
• Can it be connected to a broader debate or theme?

Whatever your essay is about, the conclusion should aim to emphasize the significance of your argument, whether that’s within your academic subject or in the wider world.

Try to end with a strong, decisive sentence, leaving the reader with a lingering sense of interest in your topic.

The easiest way to improve your conclusion is to eliminate these common mistakes.

Don’t include new evidence

Any evidence or analysis that is essential to supporting your thesis statement should appear in the main body of the essay.

The conclusion might include minor pieces of new information—for example, a sentence or two discussing broader implications, or a quotation that nicely summarizes your central point. But it shouldn’t introduce any major new sources or ideas that need further explanation to understand.

Don’t use “concluding phrases”

Avoid using obvious stock phrases to tell the reader what you’re doing:

• “In conclusion…”
• “To sum up…”

These phrases aren’t forbidden, but they can make your writing sound weak. By returning to your main argument, it will quickly become clear that you are concluding the essay—you shouldn’t have to spell it out.

Don’t undermine your argument

Avoid using apologetic phrases that sound uncertain or confused:

• “This is just one approach among many.”
• “There are good arguments on both sides of this issue.”
• “There is no clear answer to this problem.”

Even if your essay has explored different points of view, your own position should be clear. There may be many possible approaches to the topic, but you want to leave the reader convinced that yours is the best one!

Here's why students love Scribbr's proofreading services

Discover proofreading & editing

• Argumentative
• Literary analysis

This conclusion is taken from an argumentative essay about the internet’s impact on education. It acknowledges the opposing arguments while taking a clear, decisive position.

The internet has had a major positive impact on the world of education; occasional pitfalls aside, its value is evident in numerous applications. The future of teaching lies in the possibilities the internet opens up for communication, research, and interactivity. As the popularity of distance learning shows, students value the flexibility and accessibility offered by digital education, and educators should fully embrace these advantages. The internet’s dangers, real and imaginary, have been documented exhaustively by skeptics, but the internet is here to stay; it is time to focus seriously on its potential for good.

This conclusion is taken from a short expository essay that explains the invention of the printing press and its effects on European society. It focuses on giving a clear, concise overview of what was covered in the essay.

The invention of the printing press was important not only in terms of its immediate cultural and economic effects, but also in terms of its major impact on politics and religion across Europe. In the century following the invention of the printing press, the relatively stationary intellectual atmosphere of the Middle Ages gave way to the social upheavals of the Reformation and the Renaissance. A single technological innovation had contributed to the total reshaping of the continent.

This conclusion is taken from a literary analysis essay about Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein . It summarizes what the essay’s analysis achieved and emphasizes its originality.

By tracing the depiction of Frankenstein through the novel’s three volumes, I have demonstrated how the narrative structure shifts our perception of the character. While the Frankenstein of the first volume is depicted as having innocent intentions, the second and third volumes—first in the creature’s accusatory voice, and then in his own voice—increasingly undermine him, causing him to appear alternately ridiculous and vindictive. Far from the one-dimensional villain he is often taken to be, the character of Frankenstein is compelling because of the dynamic narrative frame in which he is placed. In this frame, Frankenstein’s narrative self-presentation responds to the images of him we see from others’ perspectives. This conclusion sheds new light on the novel, foregrounding Shelley’s unique layering of narrative perspectives and its importance for the depiction of character.

If you want to know more about AI tools , college essays , or fallacies make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples or go directly to our tools!

• Ad hominem fallacy
• Post hoc fallacy
• Appeal to authority fallacy
• False cause fallacy
• Sunk cost fallacy

College essays

• Choosing Essay Topic
• Write a College Essay
• Write a Diversity Essay
• College Essay Format & Structure
• Comparing and Contrasting in an Essay

 (AI) Tools

• Grammar Checker
• Paraphrasing Tool
• Text Summarizer
• AI Detector
• Plagiarism Checker
• Citation Generator

Your essay’s conclusion should contain:

• A rephrased version of your overall thesis
• A brief review of the key points you made in the main body
• An indication of why your argument matters

The conclusion may also reflect on the broader implications of your argument, showing how your ideas could applied to other contexts or debates.

For a stronger conclusion paragraph, avoid including:

• Important evidence or analysis that wasn’t mentioned in the main body
• Generic concluding phrases (e.g. “In conclusion…”)
• Weak statements that undermine your argument (e.g. “There are good points on both sides of this issue.”)

Your conclusion should leave the reader with a strong, decisive impression of your work.

The conclusion paragraph of an essay is usually shorter than the introduction . As a rule, it shouldn’t take up more than 10–15% of the text.

Cite this Scribbr article

If you want to cite this source, you can copy and paste the citation or click the “Cite this Scribbr article” button to automatically add the citation to our free Citation Generator.

McCombes, S. (2023, July 23). How to Conclude an Essay | Interactive Example. Scribbr. Retrieved August 26, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/academic-essay/conclusion/

Is this article helpful?

Shona McCombes

Other students also liked, how to write an essay introduction | 4 steps & examples, how to write a thesis statement | 4 steps & examples, example of a great essay | explanations, tips & tricks, "i thought ai proofreading was useless but..".

I've been using Scribbr for years now and I know it's a service that won't disappoint. It does a good job spotting mistakes”

How to Write a Conclusion for an Essay

The conclusion is the final paragraph of your writing, and it holds significant weight. It allows you to leave a lasting impression on the reader. But how to write a conclusion that effectively summarizes your points and resonates with your audience? 

This article will guide you through the process of crafting a strong conclusion paragraph, step by step. Our term paper writers will break down the key elements and provide clear examples to illustrate each point. By following these steps and referencing the examples, you'll be well on your way to writing impactful conclusions that leave your reader feeling satisfied and informed.

What Is a Conclusion

Conclusion in an essay is the final paragraph or section that wraps up the main points and provides closure to the piece.

Imagine it as the bridge that connects your ideas to a broader significance. A well-crafted conclusion does more than simply summarize; it elevates your points and offers a sense of closure, ensuring the reader leaves with a clear understanding of your argument's impact. In the next section, you will find conclusion ideas that you could use for your essay.

Want to Have Better Grades?

Address to our professionals and get your task done asap!

How to Write a Conclusion

A powerful conclusion not only summarizes but also reinforces your message and leaves a lasting impression. Here's a breakdown of how to write a conclusion for an essay:

• Restate Your Thesis: Briefly remind the reader of your central point. Don't simply copy and paste your thesis statement, but rephrase it using different words.
• Summarize Key Points: Revisit the main arguments or evidence you presented throughout your writing. This reminds the reader of the journey you took them on and ensures they grasp the core takeaways.
• Avoid Introducing New Information: The conclusion is not the place to introduce brand new ideas. Stick to summarizing and reinforcing the existing points.
• End on a Strong Note: Go beyond a simple summary. You can add a final thought, pose a question to spark further reflection, or highlight the significance of your topic.

Read more: Persuasive essay outline . 

The Purpose of a Conclusion

As you already understand, the conclusion paragraph serves a critical function in your writing. It serves as a final push to solidify your message in your readers’ minds. It's also your opportunity to:

• Remind the reader of your central point (thesis) and the key arguments or evidence used to support it. 
• Use this space to offer a final thought, pose a question that prompts further pondering, or emphasize the significance of your topic.

Remember, a concluding paragraph should NOT:

• Introduce New Information: The conclusion is not the place for brand new ideas. Its purpose lies in wrapping up and reinforcing what you've already established.
• Stray from the Thesis: Don't introduce arguments or evidence not discussed earlier in your writing. Maintain focus on the core message you've been building throughout your work.

How Long Should a Conclusion Paragraph Be

Generally, the ideal length depends on the overall length and complexity of your essay. However, it is not the sole factor. A well-written conclusion of 3 sentences can be far more effective than a rambling one that drags on for multiple paragraphs. 

Here are some general guidelines can help you achieve a balance when writing a conclusion:

• In most cases, you can effectively summarize your points and leave a lasting impression within 3-5 sentences.
• Prioritize delivering a clear and impactful message over unnecessary elaboration.
• Proportion matters. A lengthy research paper might warrant a slightly longer conclusion (think 5-7 sentences) to adequately address all the main points. Conversely, a shorter piece like a blog post might require a more concise conclusion (2-4 sentences).

Conclusion Transition Words

The right transition word can smoothly bridge the gap between your main body of text and your conclusion. Here are some transition words for conclusion categorized by their purpose:

7 Tips for Writing a Conclusion

Having grasped the core functions and structure of a conclusion paragraph, let's check out some practical tips to elevate your closing statements. Here are 7 effective strategies to consider from our dissertation writer :

• Vary Your Sentence Structure: Avoid a monotonous string of simple sentences. Use a mix of sentence structures (short, long, complex) to create a more engaging rhythm.
• Connect to the Introduction: For a cohesive feel, subtly tie your conclusion back to your introduction. You can reference an opening question you posed or revisit a key image you mentioned. Consider this tip especially when unsure how to start a conclusion.
• Embrace Figurative Language (Sparingly): There are different conclusion ideas but a well-placed metaphor or simile can help leave a lasting impression. However, use figurative language strategically and avoid clichés.
• Appeal to the Reader's Emotions: Did your writing highlight a pressing issue? Consider evoking emotions relevant to your topic when you want to know how to write a conclusion paragraph that tugs at the reader's heartstrings.
• Consider a Quote (if Relevant): A powerful quote from a credible source can add authority and depth to your essay conclusion. Ensure the quote aligns with your thesis and enhances your message.
• End with a Strong Call to Action (Optional): If your purpose is to persuade or inspire action, conclude with a clear call to action. Tell your reader exactly what you want them to do next.
• Proofread and Revise: Just like any other part of your writing, proofread your conclusion carefully. Ensure clarity and a smooth flow between your main body of text and the closing statement.

By this time, you already know how to write a conclusion for an essay. However, if you still need further guidance, buy essay from our expert writers anytime!

Do’s and Don’ts of Essay Conclusion

Let's now look at some simple tips from our online paper writing service to help you avoid common mistakes when writing a conclusion.

Conclusion Paragraph Examples

Here are three conclusion paragraph examples showcasing how powerful closings are crafted.

Recommended for reading: Nursing essay examples .

In closing, a strong conclusion is a must-have for any piece of writing. It reminds your reader of your main point and leaves them with a lasting impression. Here are some key things to reflect on how to write a good conclusion:

• Restate your thesis in a fresh way.
• Mention your key arguments.
• Leave a lasting thought or question.
• Consider your audience and tailor your ending to them.
• End with a strong statement.

Remember, a good conclusion is not merely about wrapping things up but rather about making your writing truly impactful.

Need Help with Your Essays?

Our service is the best assistant the money can buy – original and reliable. 

How To Write A Conclusion For An Essay?

How to write a good conclusion, how to write a conclusion for a college essay.

Daniel Parker

is a seasoned educational writer focusing on scholarship guidance, research papers, and various forms of academic essays including reflective and narrative essays. His expertise also extends to detailed case studies. A scholar with a background in English Literature and Education, Daniel’s work on EssayPro blog aims to support students in achieving academic excellence and securing scholarships. His hobbies include reading classic literature and participating in academic forums.

is an expert in nursing and healthcare, with a strong background in history, law, and literature. Holding advanced degrees in nursing and public health, his analytical approach and comprehensive knowledge help students navigate complex topics. On EssayPro blog, Adam provides insightful articles on everything from historical analysis to the intricacies of healthcare policies. In his downtime, he enjoys historical documentaries and volunteering at local clinics.

• Updated writing tips.
• Added informative tables.
• Added conclusion example.
• Added an article conclusion.
• Essay Conclusions | UMGC. (n.d.). University of Maryland Global Campus. https://www.umgc.edu/current-students/learning-resources/writing-center/writing-resources/writing/essay-conclusions
• How to Write a Conclusion for an Essay | BestColleges. (n.d.). BestColleges.com. https://www.bestcolleges.com/blog/how-to-write-a-conclusion/
• Ending the Essay: Conclusions | Harvard College Writing Center. (n.d.). https://writingcenter.fas.harvard.edu/pages/ending-essay-conclusions

• What is a Career Community?
• Exploration & Discovery
• Education, Cultures & Human Services
• Multimedia, Marketing, Communication & Creative Arts
• Policy, Law & Public Service
• Management, Consulting, Sales & Finance
• Life & Physical Sciences
• Environment & Sustainability
• Engineering
• Computing, Information & Analytics
• What is an Affinity Community?
• International Students
• Students of Color
• Veteran Students
• NCAA Student Athletes
• Students with Neurodiversity & Dis/ability
• Adult Students
• First Generation Students
• Exploring Careers
• Exploring Graduate School
• Internships
• Interview Prep
• Research, Volunteering, & Fellowships
• Resume Prep
• Skill Development
• Contact + Team

Personal Statement: Top 10 Rules and Pitfalls

• Share This: Share Personal Statement: Top 10 Rules and Pitfalls on Facebook Share Personal Statement: Top 10 Rules and Pitfalls on LinkedIn Share Personal Statement: Top 10 Rules and Pitfalls on X

From Top 10 Rules and Pitfalls // Purdue Writing Lab

Writing the personal statement: top 10 rules.

• Strive for depth rather than breadth. Narrow focus to one or two key themes, ideas or experiences
• Try to tell the reader something that no other applicant will be able to say
• Provide the reader with insight into what drives you
• Be yourself, not the ‘ideal’ applicant
• Get creative and imaginative in the opening remarks, but make sure it’s something that no one else could write
• Address the school’s unique features that interest you
• Focus on the affirmative in the personal statement; consider an addendum to explain deficiencies or blemishes
• Evaluate experiences, rather than describe them
• Proofread carefully for grammar, syntax, punctuation, word usage, and style
• Use readable fonts, typeface, and conventional spacing and margins

WRITING THE PERSONAL STATEMENT: TOP 10 PITFALLS

• Do not submit an expository resume; avoid repeating information found elsewhere on the application
• Do not use the same personal statement for each application. Generic statements are often obvious
• Do not preach to your reader. You can express opinions, but do not come across as fanatical or extreme
• Do not talk about money as a motivator
• Do not discuss systemic and social injustices simply as complaints, but as a relevant source of motivation for your overall goals and intended studies
• Do not remind the school of its rankings or tell them how good they are
• “Allow me to introduce myself. My name is…”
• “This question asks me to discuss…”
• “I would like to thank the admissions committee for considering my application.”
• “It is my sincere hope that you will grant me the opportunity to attend your fine school.”
• “In sum, there are three reasons why you should admit me…”
• Do not use unconventional and gimmicky formats and packages
• Do not submit supplemental materials unless they are requested
• Do not get the name of the school wrong
• Do not incorporate technical language or very uncommon words

Stewart, Mark Alan. Perfect Personal Statements. New York: Simon & Schuster Macmillan, 1996.

Participate in the discussion Cancel Reply

Your e-mail address will not be published or shared anywhere. Required fields are indicated with *

Email address *

Your website

Save my name, email, and website in this browser to use it next time in my comment.

Join our WhatsApp channel

Updated every 3 days for scholarships directly via WhatsApp.

How to write a personal statement | Personal statement forms

Join our telegram channel.

Get the latest news, tips and exclusive content directly.

What is the Personal Statement: It is an important part of the university application or even some scholarships require it.

By writing the personal statement, the student reflects his ambitions and purpose in studying the particular major at the university.

It also explains the student’s hopes after graduating from university and how to use this degree to achieve his own dreams and help the surrounding community.

The personal statement is the first opportunity for the student to reflect his passion for studying the major he wants at the university, and here lies the importance of the personal statement.

How to write a personal statement

Start writing your personal statement with a brief, professional summary of yourself. Think of it as an oversized bite that sums up who you are. Always start with the following:

• Your job aspirations
• Why did you become interested in studying your desired specialty?
• Talk about practical experience related to the program and specialization you have chosen
• What subjects interested you in your previous studies and how did they help you choose your chosen major?
• Why you want to study at the university you are applying to
• Talking about anything else helps highlight your personality and positive energy in achieving your dreams and helping your community. Talking about real experience in hobby clubs, volunteer work, or speaking scientifically about your specialty increases the likelihood of drawing attention to your personal statement and getting accepted into the university. 

Examples of writing the beginning and subject personal statement

• A media and broadcasting professional with five years of experience working in digital media.
• A highly creative broadcast expert who recently completed a master's degree in videography as well as four years of experience across digital media.
• Experienced web developer with extensive knowledge of web languages, including XHTML, CSS, PHP and JavaScript.
• An outgoing, sociable and well presented Store Assistant with a passion for first class customer service and three years previous experience in a busy high end fashion store.
• A skilled and adaptable builder who specializes in masonry works as well as roofing, plastering, plumbing, woodwork and demolition.
• A articulate and self-motivated Customer Service Specialist with three years' experience in the banking and financial services sectors.

How should I end a statement of purpose – Personal Statement

• Your personal statement should end with your goal. It is an opportunity to conclude your statement with an explanation of why you want to study for this role and why you are the best candidate.
• “Looking for a start in the exciting world of electrical engineering where I can learn a trade and fulfill a lifelong ambition.”
• Hoping to find my next challenge in the world of marketing, and grow my digital portfolio within an innovative and exciting company.”
• “I look forward to starting my career in journalism in a role where I can build on the skills gained at university and work experience.”

Your personal statement should end with your goal. It's an opportunity to conclude your statement with an explanation of why you want the role and why you are the best candidate.

Examples of writing the end of a personal statement

How many words are required to write a personal statement.

• The average words for a bachelor’s program student is between 400 and 600 words.
• Some master's programs require a personal statement of 1,000 words. 

You should avoid exceeding the number of words required by the university because the application review staff reviews a huge amount of personal data. Therefore, the more brief and purposeful the personal statement is within the required number of words, the greater the likelihood of you being accepted by the university. 

Mistakes when writing a personal statement?

• The personal statement is too short or too long
• The personal statement does not contain the required information or contains negative information
• Written inconsistency of the content of the personal statement.

Tips for writing a personal statement in a professional manner

We've compiled our list of key do's and don'ts to help you create the perfect personal statement.

• Grab the reader's attention by adopting a polite, professional, and positive tone
• Keep the personal statement short, concise, and within the recommended length.
• Include a brief overview of your career history.
• Highlight in the personal statement key areas of expertise
• Include basic skills in the personal statement.
• Determine the type of role you are looking for.
• Avoid clichés. Filling your personal statement with ready-made clichés makes your application impersonal and boring
• Use the language of the job description.
• Do not include unnecessary personal information.
• Don't talk about your flaws!
• Don't lie or exaggerate - you will find out.

Our Services

To provide the best experiences, we and our partners use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us and our partners to process personal data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site and show (non-) personalized ads. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.

Click below to consent to the above or make granular choices. Your choices will be applied to this site only. You can change your settings at any time, including withdrawing your consent, by using the toggles on the Cookie Policy, or by clicking on the manage consent button at the bottom of the screen.