how to change i in an essay

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How to Replace I in Essays: Alternative 3rd Person Pronouns

replacing I in essays

Learning how to write an essay without using ‘I,’ ‘We,’ or ‘You,’ and other personal languages can be challenging for students.

The best writing skills recommend not to use such pronouns. This guide explores how to replace ‘I,’ ‘We,’ or ‘You’ in an essay and the methods to avoid them.

For those of us who have been able to overcome this, you will agree that there was a time when you experienced a challenge when finding alternatives to clauses such as “I will argue” or “I think.”

The good thing is that there are several methods of communicating your point and writing an essay without using ‘I’ or related personal language.

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Why Avoid Using Pronouns in Formal Writing

Before identifying the communication methods without using personal language like “I,” it is best to know why we should avoid such language while writing essays.

The most important reason for avoiding such language is because it is not suitable for formal writing such as essays. Appropriate professional English should not include any form of personal pronouns or language.

The second and equally important reason to avoid using personal language while writing an essay is to sound impersonal, functional, and objective.

In formal English, personal pronouns conflict with the idea of being impersonal, functional, and objective because they make redundant references to the writer and other people.

Personal pronouns will make an essay seem to contain only the writer’s perspectives and others they have deliberately selected. Again, they will make the work appear subjective.

Another reason to avoid personal language while coming up with an essay is to avoid sounding as if you have an urgent need to impress the reader through wording.

Personal pronouns like “you” and “I” tend to suggest something important that is away from what the writing is all about.

By continually using “I,” “we,” or “you,” you are taking the reader’s attention from the essay to other personal issues. The essay becomes all about the writer. 

That being said, let’s explore how to replace “I” in an essay.

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Ways of avoiding pronouns “i,” “you,” and “we” in an essay.

You can replace the pronouns ‘I’, ‘You’, and ‘We’ by replacing them with acceptable wording, applying passive voice instead of pronouns, Using a third-person perspective, adopting an objective language, and including strong verbs and adjectives.

In our other guide, we explained the best practices to avoid using ‘you’ in essay writing and use academically sound words. Let us explore each of these strategies in detail.

1. Replacing it with an Acceptable Wording

This is a very good strategy for replacing “I” in an essay. The problem is that it is often difficult to find the right word to replace the personal pronoun. Though this is the case, “I” has some alternatives.

For example, if the verb that follows it revolves around writing and research, such as “…will present” or “…have described”, it is best to replace “I” with text-referencing nouns such as “the essay.”

If you wanted to say “I will present” or “I have described”, then the alternative will be “the essay will present,” or “as described in the essay.”

Another method of replacing “I” in an essay is using appropriate wording like “this writer” if the verb’s action is not within the text.

While this is sometimes acceptable, it is often advised to have no words here by using passive verbs or their equivalents.

A wording that may also be used but rarely suitable is “the researcher”. This alternative can only be used when your actions as a writer are completely detached from the writing.

2. Using Passive voice Instead of Pronouns

Another way to replace “I” and other personal pronouns in an essay is to use passive voice. This is achieved by transforming an active verb passive.

Though this is the case, the strategy is often difficult, and it may create sentence structures that are not acceptable in formal writing and language.

The sentences in which “I” can be successfully changed using this strategy is when an active verb describing an object is transformed into its passive form. 

3. Using a Third-Person Perspective

This is a very important and applicable strategy when replacing “I” in an essay. This is where you avoid using first-person and second-person perspectives.

When referring to the subject matter, refer directly to them using the third person. For example, if you were to write, “I think regular exercise is good for mind and body”, you can replace it with “Regular exercise is good for mind and body”.

4. Use of Objective Language

Objective language is lost when a person uses informal expressions like colloquialisms, slang, contractions, and clichés. It is the reason why we discourage the use of contractions in essay writing so that you can keep things formal.

While informal language can be applicable in casual writing and speeches, it is not acceptable when writing essays. This is because you will be tempted to use a first-person perspective to convey your message.

5. Being Specific and using Strong Verbs and Adjectives

In most cases, essays that have been written using a lot of personal pronouns tend to be imprecise. When you want to avoid using “I” in your essay, try to be exact and straight to the point.

Personal pronouns tend to convey a subjective message, and it is up to the writer to explain their perspectives through writing.

Here, a writer will use a lot of “I think…” or “I believe…” to express their opinion. By doing so, the writer will end up wasting a lot of time explaining a concept.

Instead of doing that, it is best to look for appropriate verbs and adjectives to explain the points. Also, use objective language. Refer to the suggestions given by credible evidence instead of basing your arguments on what you think.

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Words to use Instead of Personal Pronouns like “You” and “I”

As noted, it is important to avoid using personal pronouns such as “You” and “I” when writing an essay.

By eliminating them or finding alternatives to them, your essay will be formal and objective. You can decide to eliminate them in a sentence.

For example, you could be having a sentence like “I think the author makes a valid point concerning capitalism.”

In this example, you can eliminate the personal language and write, “The author makes a valid point concerning capitalism.”

The second sentence goes straight to the point and is objective.

Other words to use instead of personal pronouns, like “You” and “I,” can be created when personal judgment words are avoided.

Instead, it is best to replace those words with those that refer to the evidence.

Examples of Ways to Replace Personal Pronouns

Below are examples of how personal judgment words can be replaced by words referring to the evidence.

• I feel – In light of the evidence
• From I think – According to the findings
• I agree – It is evident from the data that
• I am convinced – Considering the results
• You can see that – From the results, it is evident that

Using the third-person or “it” constructions can be used to replace personal pronouns like “You” and “I.” Such words also help to reduce the word count of your essay and make it short and precise.

For example, if you write “I conclude that, “replace those words with “it could be concluded that. ” Here, “it” constructions are helping replace personal pronouns to make the sentence more objective and precise.

To be more specific, words to replace personal pronouns like “I” include “one,” the viewer,” “the author,” “the reader,” “readers,” or something similar.

However, avoid overusing those words because your essay will seem stiff and awkward. For example, if you write, “I can perceive the plot’s confusion,” you can replace “I” by writing, “Readers can perceive the plot’s confusion.”

Words that can be used instead of personal pronouns like “You” include “one,” “the viewer,” reader,” “readers,” or any other similar phrases. It is similar to words that replace first-person pronouns.

For example, if you write “you can see that the poet’s tone is serious and urgent,” you can replace “You” by writing “readers/one can see that the poet’s tone is serious and urgent.”

Words to use Instead of “My” in an Essay

Since “My” demonstrates the possessiveness of something, in this case, the contents or thoughts within an essay, it makes the writing subjective. According to experts, writing should take an objective language . To do this, it is important to replace it.

You can replace the word “My” with “the”. For example, if you write, “My final thoughts concerning the issue are”, you can write, “The final thoughts concerning the issues are”.

In this case, the article “The” makes the sentence formal and objective.

Another method is eliminating the word “My” from the sentence to make it more objective and straight to the point.

In the same example above, if you write “My final thoughts concerning the issue are”, you can write “Final thoughts concerning the issue are”.

The major difference here is that the word “my” in the first example makes it subjective, and eliminating it from the sentence makes it sound formal and objective.

Final Advice

Therefore, when writing an essay, it is important to avoid personal pronouns like “You”, “I,” and “My.” Not all papers use third-person language. Different types of essays are formatted differently, a 5-paragraph essay is different from a 4-page paper , but all use third-person tones.

This is because an essay should be written in formal language, and using personal pronouns makes it appear and sound informal. Therefore, writing an essay without using ‘I’ is good.

Formal language makes your essay sound objective and precise. However, do not remove the first-person language when writing personal experiences in an essay or a paper. This is because it is acceptable and formal that way.

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• Tips & Guides

How To Avoid Using “We,” “You,” And “I” in an Essay

• Posted on October 27, 2022 October 27, 2022

Maintaining a formal voice while writing academic essays and papers is essential to sound objective. 

One of the main rules of academic or formal writing is to avoid first-person pronouns like “we,” “you,” and “I.” These words pull focus away from the topic and shift it to the speaker – the opposite of your goal.

While it may seem difficult at first, some tricks can help you avoid personal language and keep a professional tone.

Let’s learn how to avoid using “we” in an essay.

What Is a Personal Pronoun?

Pronouns are words used to refer to a noun indirectly. Examples include “he,” “his,” “her,” and “hers.” Any time you refer to a noun – whether a person, object, or animal – without using its name, you use a pronoun.

Personal pronouns are a type of pronoun. A personal pronoun is a pronoun you use whenever you directly refer to the subject of the sentence. 

Take the following short paragraph as an example:

“Mr. Smith told the class yesterday to work on our essays. Mr. Smith also said that Mr. Smith lost Mr. Smith’s laptop in the lunchroom.”

The above sentence contains no pronouns at all. There are three places where you would insert a pronoun, but only two where you would put a personal pronoun. See the revised sentence below:

“Mr. Smith told the class yesterday to work on our essays. He also said that he lost his laptop in the lunchroom.”

“He” is a personal pronoun because we are talking directly about Mr. Smith. “His” is not a personal pronoun (it’s a possessive pronoun) because we are not speaking directly about Mr. Smith. Rather, we are talking about Mr. Smith’s laptop.

If later on you talk about Mr. Smith’s laptop, you may say:

“Mr. Smith found it in his car, not the lunchroom!” 

In this case, “it” is a personal pronoun because in this point of view we are making a reference to the laptop directly and not as something owned by Mr. Smith.

Why Avoid Personal Pronouns in Essay Writing

We’re teaching you how to avoid using “I” in writing, but why is this necessary? Academic writing aims to focus on a clear topic, sound objective, and paint the writer as a source of authority. Word choice can significantly impact your success in achieving these goals.

Writing that uses personal pronouns can unintentionally shift the reader’s focus onto the writer, pulling their focus away from the topic at hand.

Personal pronouns may also make your work seem less objective. 

One of the most challenging parts of essay writing is learning which words to avoid and how to avoid them. Fortunately, following a few simple tricks, you can master the English Language and write like a pro in no time.

Alternatives To Using Personal Pronouns

How to not use “I” in a paper? What are the alternatives? There are many ways to avoid the use of personal pronouns in academic writing. By shifting your word choice and sentence structure, you can keep the overall meaning of your sentences while re-shaping your tone.

Utilize Passive Voice

In conventional writing, students are taught to avoid the passive voice as much as possible, but it can be an excellent way to avoid first-person pronouns in academic writing.

You can use the passive voice to avoid using pronouns. Take this sentence, for example:

“ We used 150 ml of HCl for the experiment.”

Instead of using “we” and the active voice, you can use a passive voice without a pronoun. The sentence above becomes:

“150 ml of HCl were used for the experiment.” 

Using the passive voice removes your team from the experiment and makes your work sound more objective.

Take a Third-Person Perspective

Another answer to “how to avoid using ‘we’ in an essay?” is the use of a third-person perspective. Changing the perspective is a good way to take first-person pronouns out of a sentence. A third-person point of view will not use any first-person pronouns because the information is not given from the speaker’s perspective.

A third-person sentence is spoken entirely about the subject where the speaker is outside of the sentence.

Take a look at the sentence below:

“In this article you will learn about formal writing.”

The perspective in that sentence is second person, and it uses the personal pronoun “you.” You can change this sentence to sound more objective by using third-person pronouns:

“In this article the reader will learn about formal writing.”

The use of a third-person point of view makes the second sentence sound more academic and confident. Second-person pronouns, like those used in the first sentence, sound less formal and objective.

Be Specific With Word Choice

You can avoid first-personal pronouns by choosing your words carefully. Often, you may find that you are inserting unnecessary nouns into your work. 

Take the following sentence as an example:

“ My research shows the students did poorly on the test.”

In this case, the first-person pronoun ‘my’ can be entirely cut out from the sentence. It then becomes:

“Research shows the students did poorly on the test.”

The second sentence is more succinct and sounds more authoritative without changing the sentence structure.

You should also make sure to watch out for the improper use of adverbs and nouns. Being careful with your word choice regarding nouns, adverbs, verbs, and adjectives can help mitigate your use of personal pronouns. 

“They bravely started the French revolution in 1789.” 

While this sentence might be fine in a story about the revolution, an essay or academic piece should only focus on the facts. The world ‘bravely’ is a good indicator that you are inserting unnecessary personal pronouns into your work.

We can revise this sentence into:

“The French revolution started in 1789.” 

Avoid adverbs (adjectives that describe verbs), and you will find that you avoid personal pronouns by default.

Closing Thoughts

In academic writing, It is crucial to sound objective and focus on the topic. Using personal pronouns pulls the focus away from the subject and makes writing sound subjective.

Hopefully, this article has helped you learn how to avoid using “we” in an essay.

When working on any formal writing assignment, avoid personal pronouns and informal language as much as possible.

While getting the hang of academic writing, you will likely make some mistakes, so revising is vital. Always double-check for personal pronouns, plagiarism , spelling mistakes, and correctly cited pieces. 

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Word lists, cheat sheets, and sometimes irreverent reviews of writing rules. kathy steinemann is the author of the writer's lexicon series..

30+ Ways to Avoid Repetition of “I” in First-Person Writing

First-person narrative engages readers, who experience the world from your narrator’s perspective — including intimate thoughts and feelings. However, it’s easy to overplay constructions such as I did this and I thought that and I wanted something else.

Many people claim the I, I, I approach is permissible because I is an invisible word like said .

Don’t believe them.

Prose or poetry with an overabundance of the same words or structures will seem off. Readers might not be able to tell you what’s wrong, but they know they’re unsettled by something .

Consider the Following Two Story Snippets

I answered the irresistible beckoning of the backyard. I watched brightly colored birds there frolicking in the breeze as they fluttered toward the creek. I closed my eyes and felt the warmth of the sun . I smelled the fragrance of the clover underneath my feet, a fragrance so sweet I could almost taste it. I heard fledgling robins twittering in a nearby tree.

I thought to myself , This is the life. I knew I never wanted to leave this place.

I decided to phone the real estate agent and tell her to take the FOR SALE sign off my lawn. She acted as though she had expected my call.

I told her in a firm voice that my mind was made up, and yes, I understood she would still receive her full commission.

I realized I didn’t care about the money.

The backyard beckoned with its irresistible sights and sounds. Frolicking in the breeze, brightly colored birds fluttered toward the creek. The sun warmed my closed eyelids, and my nostrils were flooded by the sweet fragrance of clover underneath my feet, a fragrance so sweet it almost sugared the taste buds. In a nearby tree, fledgling robins twittered.

This is the life. Who in their right mind would ever leave this place?

The real estate agent acted as though she had expected my call when asked to take the FOR SALE sign off the lawn.

My voice was firm. “Yes, my mind is made up. … Understood. … You’ll still receive your full commission.”

Hah! Who cares about the money?

Beware Verbosity

Rewrites could result in bloat, and the wrong words could make you seem pretentious or long-winded.

The second snippet reduces, rather than increases, word count.

The first example would be even shorter with the removal of to myself. Who else would you think to? Your editor? Your cat? Or maybe your dictation software?

Did You Notice the Changes?

Almost every sentence in the first example begins with I.

In the rewrite, note the removal of several filtering phrases:

I watched I … felt I smelled I could … taste I heard I thought I knew I decided I told I understood I realized

Whenever you filter thoughts and senses through your narrator’s eyes, you distance readers from your story — like a selfie of a selfie. Use the direct approach instead.

Passive voice appeared once to vary sentence structure. “I smelled the fragrance of the clover underneath my feet ” became “my nostrils were flooded by the sweet fragrance of clover underneath my feet.”

A so-called rule of writing is not to use passive voice. However, you’ll find times such as this when it’s warranted.

The phrase could also have been written as “my nostrils flooded with the sweet fragrance of clover underneath my feet.”

Reread the examples. Compare again. You’ll notice subtle changes that make the text flow smoother.

A Partial List of Filter Words

Watch for these or their equivalents. They all have the potential to weaken your writing:

A to W assume, be able to, believe, can, decide, experience, feel (or feel like) , hear, know, look, note, notice, realize, remember, see, seem, sound (or sound like), taste, think, touch, watch, wonder

Change the Focus

Just because you’re writing in first person doesn’t mean you, the storyteller, should be the most important character in the piece.

If you concentrate on the activities of other characters, readers will feel as though they are you. They still know you’re the narrator, but you become invisible.

Try These I Alternatives

I agree: We are in agreement

I am convinced that: In my opinion

I am sure that: Correct me if my opinion is wrong

I believe: The experts say (or, in Dothraki , “It is known”)

I decided: It was my intention

I disagree: You are wrong

I dislike that: That’s not for me

I don’t know: That’s an excellent question

I feel: In light of the evidence

I have experience in: My experience includes

I interpret the results: The results indicate

I like: It’s one of my favorites

I was nearly hit by a car: A car nearly hit me

I’ll show you: The report will show you

I’m hungry: My stomach is growling

Beware the Me-My Snare

In an attempt to remove instances of I, you might introduce excessive repetition of me and my .

For instance, “I felt an irresistible urge to buy the shoes” could become “An irresistible urge to buy the shoes came over me .”

“I saw three chickadees sitting on the fence” could end up as “Three chickadees sitting on the fence came into my view.”

As shown by the strikeout, you can often omit my .

Rely on Your Ears

They’re excellent critics.

Read your text out loud or harness your computer’s text-to-speech capabilities and listen to your writing . Repetitions that hide from notice during a silent read often become obvious and irritating when processed by the ears .

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28 thoughts on “ 30+ Ways to Avoid Repetition of “I” in First-Person Writing ”

how can we replace i in this sentence i had a dream to spend a beautiful day at an island

Sleep, peaceful sleep, filled the night, interrupted only by the dream of an idyllic day on a tiny island.

Hello Kathy,

Me again. Since reading your article, I have made a greater conscious effort in avoiding the use of “I” in my first-person stories. However, in doing so, I’m noticing I am starting to use “-ing” words to begin sentences more often, and I understand that’s something to use sparingly in fiction writing.

I may be over-analysing my works (that’s a bad habit of mine), but if using “I” in a sentence, whether it’s beginning a sentence or in the middle of it, creates a clearer structured sentence when compared to using a “-ing” word, would you say it’s okay to use “I”, or to try and figure out another way of structuring the sentence to avoid either?

On a side note, sometimes when I do avoid both, the sentence gets written in passive voice, as that seems to be the only way to structure it, while keeping it clear and precise. For example, a sentence within a story of mine read: “Rather than wasting time on breakfast, I can use it for more important things, such as training.” After re-editing it, it became: “Rather than wasting time on breakfast, it can be used for more important things, such as training.”

I’m really just trying to determine out of “I”, “-ing”, or passive voice, which is the best to use. Apologies if this is unclear. Sometimes that’s my thought process for you. There’s logic in there, but you’ve gotta dig past all the dribble to find it.

Kind regards, Footrot Flats

Phrases such as the following can help eliminate some instances of “I”:

– experience has shown – statistics indicate – events suggest – circumstances often require

Regarding your sentence: “Rather than wasting time on breakfast, it can be used for more important things, such as training.”

Try something like: “[Whatever ‘it’ is] can focus on activities, such as training, which are more important than breakfast.”

Remember: The goal is not to eliminate words but to eliminate their overuse.

Thank you for the response, Kathy!

I’ll keep those phrases in mind and see if they can be used anywhere that fits. Thank you for the suggestion as well.

I understand it’s okay to use “I”, just not too often, which is what I’m trying to do, but also figuring out how often “I” is fine to use. Finding that ‘Goldilocks Zone’ is my next challenge. If it’s used once every few paragraphs, it doesn’t stick out at me, but if I see two (or more) I’s in the same field of view, that’s when I tend to change it.

I may or may not pop up again sometime in the future. If I don’t, your article and advise has helped me immensely, so thank you for the time and effort you have put in. It’s much appreciated.

All the best, and stay safe too! Footrot Flats

When writing stories, I’ve always tried avoiding the usage of I’s (same goes for adverbs). 95% of the time, there’s an alternative way of describing a scene, whether it’s action, thoughts or dialogue, but something, every now and then, there just doesn’t seem to be a way to avoid using I (or an adverb).

Like adverbs, would you say it’s okay to use ‘I’ sparingly?

In some cases, the word ‘I’ gets replaced with an adverb, and then I enter a never-ending cycle.

Your approach is astute, FF.

Words exist for a reason, including adverbs and I . The goal is not to eliminate them but to reduce their frequency and make them “invisible” to readers. That turns them into useful tools.

Good luck with your writing, and please stay safe! (Exclamation points, em dashes, and parentheses are more useful tools — when used sparingly. 🙂 )

Thank you for the reply Kathy.

I agree that making them “invisible” rather than eliminating them completely is the better approach. Everything would provide a greater impact when used sparingly.

All the best, and stay safe too. Footrot Flats

Hello Kathy, the article above really helped me but i am still just a little confused. . . . would it be alright if you could un-I-ify my story. i haven’t written much and i probably wont be using it, but just to get a rough idea on how i could do it.

I was sitting on the train minding my own business and reading a book, when I casually looked out the window. It was pretty dark and rainy, but I could still see the blurry silhouette of the woods turning into a dim lighted village. As I was about to turn away, I started to sweat and felt a pounding in my head. My heart felt as if I had just run a marathon 3 times and I could hear my blood rushing through my ears. My hands shook and my breathing turned uneven. My vision went all blurry. I had to get away. I did not want to be on a train while having a panic attack. I stood up and hit my knee on the table but I ignored the pain. I grabbed my book and backpack and yelled for assistance. An assistant quickly rushed over and asked if I needed anything. I told her to stop the train. “But ma’am, we don’t have a station here, we can’t stop here-” “Just stop the train. NOW! Please!” I cut her off. “Ma’am, are you feeling ok? You should probably sit down.” She offers. “STOP THE TRAIN! NOW!” I shout. She nodded to me and swiveled around and quickly rushed to the front of the train. My mouth started to feel dry and I could feel tears coming starting to form at the corners of my eyes. By this time I was shaking. I turned to the nearest compartment and grabbed the glass of water on the table. I took one big sip and looked up at the young bloke who was sitting there. My mouth felt a bit better knowing it was hydrated and I could say my words without them sounding raspy. “I am so sorry. I really needed that drink.” I grabbed my backpack and took out £2 and put it down on the table. “I’m really sorry about the drink, I know you paid for that so here’s the money. I know it was 3 pound but this is all I can find right now.” I blurted out. I could feel the train slowing down and felt nauseous. I sat down in the young blokes compartment seat and looked down. I could feel the guy’s eyes staring at the top of my head which made me feel uncomfortable.

sorry if thats too much. thank you 🙂

Thanks for stopping by, Astoria.

I’ve retired from editing, but you can join online critique groups free of charge.

Scribophile and Critique Circle are two popular sites.

Good luck with your writing, and stay safe!

Undertaking a short story/flash fiction assignment for Open University. Word count is up to 800 words. The premise is in hand, and I’ve done a plan.

Really want to do it in First POV, though I know third is easy to fall back on. Your advice is brilliant, I am just so nervous of the structure and grammar. I don’t envision that creative writing is for me, as the strain of English Lit etc scares me.

You can do this, Louise. I hope you’ll be able to use some of the advice in this post.

Good luck, and stay safe!

This is so frustrating, As I edit my work I can’t think of anything to replace my ‘I’ overuse!!!

Think less of how you control the action and more about how the action happens, period. The suggestions in this article will help.

Thanks for stopping by, Max!

Great article. Chuck Palahnuik is an expert at submerging the ‘I’, and I’m constantly perplexed about how to avoid the pitfalls you mentioned when following his advice. This has helped a great deal.

Thanks, Tom. May your muse be ever with you — and stay safe.

I get it, I just don’t know how to repair the problem. Online English class?

There’s no magic one-size-fits-all approach. You have to examine each occurrence to determine a suitable remedy. This requires time and effort; but as you edit, you become more proficient at creating solutions.

Thanks for stopping by!

Can you please give me some examples of books written in first person, without the overuse of ‘I’? My 13 year old daughter is in an Academic Excellence class and has had her eyes opened and mind blown buy how removing the ‘I’s, it makes you live the story. She has Aspergers and dyslexia and has always loved writing, it is her get away. We would be truly grateful for some guidance.

Warmest wishes Michelle Australia

Hi, Michelle. Thanks for stopping by.

The books that stand out in my mind are To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, all The Hunger Games books by Suzanne Collins, and Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. They should keep your daughter busy for a while.

Thank you very much Kathy. I am truly grateful.

May you too keep safe.

Warmest wishes Michelle

Thank you so much. I always put I’s in my stories and it bothered me because ‘I’ use it repeatedly. That’s when ‘I’ started to notice it also want to thank you for the alternatives to making my story look as if a professional wrote it. Well I’m no professional but hopefully one day. 4 years later and came across this website. Thank you btw. (PS I was embarrassed now because I used my I’s a lot in this comment lolz so I had to fix it to make it right ) Anyways I’m forever grateful and have a good year in 2020!

Thanks for stopping by, Nora. Yes, those Is can be slippery little creatures. You’ve made the most important step by recognizing the problem.

You have a great 2020 too, and may the muses favor your writing!

Excellent, as per usual. 🙂

Thanks, Jenn!

Another excellent post, Kathy. This is exactly what I was looking for. As an added bonus, I now know what filter words are. Time for another edit on my latest WIP. (Heck – I’ve just noticed two I’s in the above comment. Oh no, there’s another two!)

Thanks, Tom. I laughed out loud as I was reading your reply. Next week I’ll be posting an open letter to book pirates. Arrgh! Three I ‘s.

Let’s see …

As my eyes scrutinized your reply, a humongous LOL burst from my lips. Next week’s blog post will feature an open letter to book pirates.

Doesn’t have the same snap, does it?

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How to Replace Second‐Person Pronouns

Last Updated: May 9, 2023 References

This article was co-authored by Celena Hathaway and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden . Celena Hathaway is an English & Creative Writing Teacher at Cornerstone Schools of Alabama in Birmingham, Alabama. She specializes in entry-level creative writing, such as fundamental poetry and fiction short story techniques, and 8th-grade-level grammar and reading. She earned her B.S.E. in Secondary Education and B.A. in English from Samford University. This article has been viewed 9,847 times.

It can be easy to add in second-person pronouns like “you” and “your” to your writing since they’re used so often in daily speech. However, addressing the audience directly isn’t accepted in academic or formal writing, as it can make assumptions about the reader. You can either insert different pronouns to get the same message across or eliminate second-person pronouns altogether to tighten up your writing and make it more academic and formal.

Choosing Alternate Pronouns

• For example, “In the summer, you often have to stand in line to get to the pool.”
• Try saying, “In the summer, customers often have to stand in line to get to the pool.”
• Or, “In many areas, you have people who are unhappy with local government.”
• Try, “In many areas, citizens are unhappy with local government.”

• For example, take the sentence, “You may already know that there is plastic in the ocean.”
• Change that sentence to, “Most people already know that there is plastic in the ocean.”
• Or, “You might think that bees don’t play a large role in the ecosystem.”
• Try, “Many people don’t know that bees play a large role in the ecosystem.”

• ”You may think that this is impossible.”
• Change that to, “One may think that this is impossible.”
• Or, “You could say that the idea is unlikely.”
• Try, “One could say that the idea is unlikely.”

• ”You may feel compelled to argue that the research is flawed.”
• Try, “Someone may feel compelled to argue that the research is flawed.”
• Or, “You could say that the timeline is too short.”
• Try, “Somebody could say that the timeline is too short.”

• For example, “Now, you may be confused as to why these methods were chosen.”
• Try, “The reader may be confused as to why these methods were chosen.”
• Use “the reader” and “the viewer” sparingly, as they can be a little jarring in academic text.

Avoiding Second-Person Pronouns

• For example, “You should set up the lab equipment to begin.”
• Take out the “you” to make: “Set up the lab equipment to begin.”
• Or, “However, you can read the essay before coming to any conclusions.”
• Try, “Read the essay before coming to any conclusions.”

• For example: “After reading this paper, you’ll know much more about the history of Europe.”
• Try, “This paper will explain the history of Europe.”
• Or, “You may be interested in learning more about topographical maps.”
• Try, “Keep reading to learn more about topographical maps.”

• For example, “When you don’t wear a seatbelt, you’re more likely to get seriously injured in an accident.”
• Reframe the sentence to say, “People who don’t wear a seatbelt are more likely to get seriously injured in an accident.”
• Or, “If you don’t stretch before working out, you could pull a muscle.”
• Try, “Working out without stretching can lead to pulled muscles.”

Expert Q&A

• Avoid second-person pronouns in academic text to make your writing seem more formal. Thanks Helpful 2 Not Helpful 0
• Addressing the reader directly can be a little jarring and make unfair assumptions about your audience, so try to avoid it, if you can. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

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Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about writing, check out our in-depth interview with Celena Hathaway .

• ↑ https://stlcc.edu/docs/student-support/academic-support/college-writing-center/point-of-view-in-academic-writing.pdf
• ↑ https://semo.edu/pdf/Writing_handout_Avoiding_Second_Person.pdf
• ↑ http://facultyweb.ivcc.edu/rrambo/tip_formal_writing_voice.htm
• ↑ http://blogs.ubc.ca/writingcentre/files/2013/01/Tutor-project-Avoid-First-Person-POV.pdf
• ↑ http://content.nroc.org/DevelopmentalEnglish/unit05/Foundations/first-second-and-third-person-pronouns.html

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Should I Use “I”?

What this handout is about.

This handout is about determining when to use first person pronouns (“I”, “we,” “me,” “us,” “my,” and “our”) and personal experience in academic writing. “First person” and “personal experience” might sound like two ways of saying the same thing, but first person and personal experience can work in very different ways in your writing. You might choose to use “I” but not make any reference to your individual experiences in a particular paper. Or you might include a brief description of an experience that could help illustrate a point you’re making without ever using the word “I.” So whether or not you should use first person and personal experience are really two separate questions, both of which this handout addresses. It also offers some alternatives if you decide that either “I” or personal experience isn’t appropriate for your project. If you’ve decided that you do want to use one of them, this handout offers some ideas about how to do so effectively, because in many cases using one or the other might strengthen your writing.

Expectations about academic writing

Students often arrive at college with strict lists of writing rules in mind. Often these are rather strict lists of absolutes, including rules both stated and unstated:

• Each essay should have exactly five paragraphs.
• Don’t begin a sentence with “and” or “because.”
• Never include personal opinion.
• Never use “I” in essays.

We get these ideas primarily from teachers and other students. Often these ideas are derived from good advice but have been turned into unnecessarily strict rules in our minds. The problem is that overly strict rules about writing can prevent us, as writers, from being flexible enough to learn to adapt to the writing styles of different fields, ranging from the sciences to the humanities, and different kinds of writing projects, ranging from reviews to research.

So when it suits your purpose as a scholar, you will probably need to break some of the old rules, particularly the rules that prohibit first person pronouns and personal experience. Although there are certainly some instructors who think that these rules should be followed (so it is a good idea to ask directly), many instructors in all kinds of fields are finding reason to depart from these rules. Avoiding “I” can lead to awkwardness and vagueness, whereas using it in your writing can improve style and clarity. Using personal experience, when relevant, can add concreteness and even authority to writing that might otherwise be vague and impersonal. Because college writing situations vary widely in terms of stylistic conventions, tone, audience, and purpose, the trick is deciphering the conventions of your writing context and determining how your purpose and audience affect the way you write. The rest of this handout is devoted to strategies for figuring out when to use “I” and personal experience.

Effective uses of “I”:

In many cases, using the first person pronoun can improve your writing, by offering the following benefits:

• Assertiveness: In some cases you might wish to emphasize agency (who is doing what), as for instance if you need to point out how valuable your particular project is to an academic discipline or to claim your unique perspective or argument.
• Clarity: Because trying to avoid the first person can lead to awkward constructions and vagueness, using the first person can improve your writing style.
• Positioning yourself in the essay: In some projects, you need to explain how your research or ideas build on or depart from the work of others, in which case you’ll need to say “I,” “we,” “my,” or “our”; if you wish to claim some kind of authority on the topic, first person may help you do so.

Deciding whether “I” will help your style

Here is an example of how using the first person can make the writing clearer and more assertive:

Original example:

In studying American popular culture of the 1980s, the question of to what degree materialism was a major characteristic of the cultural milieu was explored.

Better example using first person:

In our study of American popular culture of the 1980s, we explored the degree to which materialism characterized the cultural milieu.

The original example sounds less emphatic and direct than the revised version; using “I” allows the writers to avoid the convoluted construction of the original and clarifies who did what.

Here is an example in which alternatives to the first person would be more appropriate:

As I observed the communication styles of first-year Carolina women, I noticed frequent use of non-verbal cues.

Better example:

A study of the communication styles of first-year Carolina women revealed frequent use of non-verbal cues.

In the original example, using the first person grounds the experience heavily in the writer’s subjective, individual perspective, but the writer’s purpose is to describe a phenomenon that is in fact objective or independent of that perspective. Avoiding the first person here creates the desired impression of an observed phenomenon that could be reproduced and also creates a stronger, clearer statement.

Here’s another example in which an alternative to first person works better:

As I was reading this study of medieval village life, I noticed that social class tended to be clearly defined.

This study of medieval village life reveals that social class tended to be clearly defined.

Although you may run across instructors who find the casual style of the original example refreshing, they are probably rare. The revised version sounds more academic and renders the statement more assertive and direct.

Here’s a final example:

I think that Aristotle’s ethical arguments are logical and readily applicable to contemporary cases, or at least it seems that way to me.

Better example

Aristotle’s ethical arguments are logical and readily applicable to contemporary cases.

In this example, there is no real need to announce that that statement about Aristotle is your thought; this is your paper, so readers will assume that the ideas in it are yours.

Determining whether to use “I” according to the conventions of the academic field

Which fields allow “I”?

The rules for this are changing, so it’s always best to ask your instructor if you’re not sure about using first person. But here are some general guidelines.

Sciences: In the past, scientific writers avoided the use of “I” because scientists often view the first person as interfering with the impression of objectivity and impersonality they are seeking to create. But conventions seem to be changing in some cases—for instance, when a scientific writer is describing a project she is working on or positioning that project within the existing research on the topic. Check with your science instructor to find out whether it’s o.k. to use “I” in their class.

Social Sciences: Some social scientists try to avoid “I” for the same reasons that other scientists do. But first person is becoming more commonly accepted, especially when the writer is describing their project or perspective.

Humanities: Ask your instructor whether you should use “I.” The purpose of writing in the humanities is generally to offer your own analysis of language, ideas, or a work of art. Writers in these fields tend to value assertiveness and to emphasize agency (who’s doing what), so the first person is often—but not always—appropriate. Sometimes writers use the first person in a less effective way, preceding an assertion with “I think,” “I feel,” or “I believe” as if such a phrase could replace a real defense of an argument. While your audience is generally interested in your perspective in the humanities fields, readers do expect you to fully argue, support, and illustrate your assertions. Personal belief or opinion is generally not sufficient in itself; you will need evidence of some kind to convince your reader.

Other writing situations: If you’re writing a speech, use of the first and even the second person (“you”) is generally encouraged because these personal pronouns can create a desirable sense of connection between speaker and listener and can contribute to the sense that the speaker is sincere and involved in the issue. If you’re writing a resume, though, avoid the first person; describe your experience, education, and skills without using a personal pronoun (for example, under “Experience” you might write “Volunteered as a peer counselor”).

A note on the second person “you”:

In situations where your intention is to sound conversational and friendly because it suits your purpose, as it does in this handout intended to offer helpful advice, or in a letter or speech, “you” might help to create just the sense of familiarity you’re after. But in most academic writing situations, “you” sounds overly conversational, as for instance in a claim like “when you read the poem ‘The Wasteland,’ you feel a sense of emptiness.” In this case, the “you” sounds overly conversational. The statement would read better as “The poem ‘The Wasteland’ creates a sense of emptiness.” Academic writers almost always use alternatives to the second person pronoun, such as “one,” “the reader,” or “people.”

Personal experience in academic writing

The question of whether personal experience has a place in academic writing depends on context and purpose. In papers that seek to analyze an objective principle or data as in science papers, or in papers for a field that explicitly tries to minimize the effect of the researcher’s presence such as anthropology, personal experience would probably distract from your purpose. But sometimes you might need to explicitly situate your position as researcher in relation to your subject of study. Or if your purpose is to present your individual response to a work of art, to offer examples of how an idea or theory might apply to life, or to use experience as evidence or a demonstration of an abstract principle, personal experience might have a legitimate role to play in your academic writing. Using personal experience effectively usually means keeping it in the service of your argument, as opposed to letting it become an end in itself or take over the paper.

It’s also usually best to keep your real or hypothetical stories brief, but they can strengthen arguments in need of concrete illustrations or even just a little more vitality.

Here are some examples of effective ways to incorporate personal experience in academic writing:

• Anecdotes: In some cases, brief examples of experiences you’ve had or witnessed may serve as useful illustrations of a point you’re arguing or a theory you’re evaluating. For instance, in philosophical arguments, writers often use a real or hypothetical situation to illustrate abstract ideas and principles.
• References to your own experience can explain your interest in an issue or even help to establish your authority on a topic.
• Some specific writing situations, such as application essays, explicitly call for discussion of personal experience.

Here are some suggestions about including personal experience in writing for specific fields:

Philosophy: In philosophical writing, your purpose is generally to reconstruct or evaluate an existing argument, and/or to generate your own. Sometimes, doing this effectively may involve offering a hypothetical example or an illustration. In these cases, you might find that inventing or recounting a scenario that you’ve experienced or witnessed could help demonstrate your point. Personal experience can play a very useful role in your philosophy papers, as long as you always explain to the reader how the experience is related to your argument. (See our handout on writing in philosophy for more information.)

Religion: Religion courses might seem like a place where personal experience would be welcomed. But most religion courses take a cultural, historical, or textual approach, and these generally require objectivity and impersonality. So although you probably have very strong beliefs or powerful experiences in this area that might motivate your interest in the field, they shouldn’t supplant scholarly analysis. But ask your instructor, as it is possible that they are interested in your personal experiences with religion, especially in less formal assignments such as response papers. (See our handout on writing in religious studies for more information.)

Literature, Music, Fine Arts, and Film: Writing projects in these fields can sometimes benefit from the inclusion of personal experience, as long as it isn’t tangential. For instance, your annoyance over your roommate’s habits might not add much to an analysis of “Citizen Kane.” However, if you’re writing about Ridley Scott’s treatment of relationships between women in the movie “Thelma and Louise,” some reference your own observations about these relationships might be relevant if it adds to your analysis of the film. Personal experience can be especially appropriate in a response paper, or in any kind of assignment that asks about your experience of the work as a reader or viewer. Some film and literature scholars are interested in how a film or literary text is received by different audiences, so a discussion of how a particular viewer or reader experiences or identifies with the piece would probably be appropriate. (See our handouts on writing about fiction , art history , and drama for more information.)

Women’s Studies: Women’s Studies classes tend to be taught from a feminist perspective, a perspective which is generally interested in the ways in which individuals experience gender roles. So personal experience can often serve as evidence for your analytical and argumentative papers in this field. This field is also one in which you might be asked to keep a journal, a kind of writing that requires you to apply theoretical concepts to your experiences.

History: If you’re analyzing a historical period or issue, personal experience is less likely to advance your purpose of objectivity. However, some kinds of historical scholarship do involve the exploration of personal histories. So although you might not be referencing your own experience, you might very well be discussing other people’s experiences as illustrations of their historical contexts. (See our handout on writing in history for more information.)

Sciences: Because the primary purpose is to study data and fixed principles in an objective way, personal experience is less likely to have a place in this kind of writing. Often, as in a lab report, your goal is to describe observations in such a way that a reader could duplicate the experiment, so the less extra information, the better. Of course, if you’re working in the social sciences, case studies—accounts of the personal experiences of other people—are a crucial part of your scholarship. (See our handout on  writing in the sciences for more information.)

You may reproduce it for non-commercial use if you use the entire handout and attribute the source: The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

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How to replace overuse of "I" in a short story, fiction, written in the first person

I am trying to edit a short story, written in the first person. I have used "I" way too many times, it stands out too much at the beginning of a sentence, but I can't seen to change it without losing the meaning/tone of the sentence.

• short-story
• grammatical-person

• 4 Could you show us a few examples? Hopefully we will be able to determine a better way to write them by looking at them. –  Thomas Reinstate Monica Myron Commented Dec 4, 2015 at 21:39

3 Answers 3

A technical term for this is "filtering," meaning you're often reminding the reader what POV (or filter) rather than leveraging the context of the situation to make the filter implied and unwritten.

Instead you want write from "inside the character's head," tight enough that you're inside his body.

Ex of filtering : I found the envelope in the supermarket. I reached past the butternut squash and I grasped it, and I pulled. I noticed the envelope smelled like crayons fresh from the box. I twisted the envelope and whatever was inside was stiff and unbending. (Lots of "I" filtering, explicitly written at the front of many sentences.)

Ex of less filtering : The envelope came from the supermarket, hidden among the butternut squash. After pulling it out and examining it, the smell of crayons fresh from the box teased me to discover more. Cautious twisting indicated the contents as stiff and unbending. (Who's doing the activities is implied.)

• Thank you very much, this is really helpful. I'm very impressed. –  Deirdre Ní Laochdha Commented Dec 5, 2015 at 20:08
• "After pulling it out and examining it, the smell of crayons..." is a dangling participle (the smell of crayons is not doing the pulling and examining), though if the character's speech is careless, this might be fitting. It's good to be aware of the issue, though. –  Kef Schecter Commented May 25, 2022 at 0:53

Lance's example is excellent. It may also help to vary sentence structure (you may already be doing this). I'll give an example that retains the "I" but improves variation.

From I ran from the minotaur, and he chased me down the darkened, stone hallway. I grasped for my sword only to remember I had dropped it running from the goblins the day before. If only I had saved my flying potion, I could get out of this dungeon alive!

To The minotaur ran towards me, so I fled down the darkened, stone hallway. Grasping for my sword, I sadly recalled that it was lost during yesterday's flight from the goblins. The flying potion that I had needlessly consumed was what I really needed, but without it, escape seemed impossible.

• Thank you very much for this, the two samples are really helpful. I will continue to try to edit my work. –  Deirdre Ní Laochdha Commented Dec 5, 2015 at 20:09

Consider switching the narrator to someone other than the primary character. Nick tells Gatsby's story. John tells Owen Meany's story. In effect then, your narrator is not who the story is about, but they tell us the story of the main character, providing an interesting point of view.

• Thanks very much Ken, I wanted to enter the story into a competition, so didn't have time to do that now, but I will try it when I have more time. –  Deirdre Ní Laochdha Commented Dec 10, 2015 at 12:03

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11 Rules for Essay Paragraph Structure (with Examples)

Chris Drew (PhD)

Dr. Chris Drew is the founder of the Helpful Professor. He holds a PhD in education and has published over 20 articles in scholarly journals. He is the former editor of the Journal of Learning Development in Higher Education. [Image Descriptor: Photo of Chris]

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How do you structure a paragraph in an essay?

If you’re like the majority of my students, you might be getting your basic essay paragraph structure wrong and getting lower grades than you could!

In this article, I outline the 11 key steps to writing a perfect paragraph. But, this isn’t your normal ‘how to write an essay’ article. Rather, I’ll try to give you some insight into exactly what teachers look out for when they’re grading essays and figuring out what grade to give them.

You can navigate each issue below, or scroll down to read them all:

1. Paragraphs must be at least four sentences long 2. But, at most seven sentences long 3. Your paragraph must be Left-Aligned 4. You need a topic sentence 5 . Next, you need an explanation sentence 6. You need to include an example 7. You need to include citations 8. All paragraphs need to be relevant to the marking criteria 9. Only include one key idea per paragraph 10. Keep sentences short 11. Keep quotes short

Paragraph structure is one of the most important elements of getting essay writing right .

As I cover in my Ultimate Guide to Writing an Essay Plan , paragraphs are the heart and soul of your essay.

However, I find most of my students have either:

• forgotten how to write paragraphs properly,
• gotten lazy, or
• never learned it in the first place!

Paragraphs in essay writing are different from paragraphs in other written genres .

In fact, the paragraphs that you are reading now would not help your grades in an essay.

That’s because I’m writing in journalistic style, where paragraph conventions are vastly different.

For those of you coming from journalism or creative writing, you might find you need to re-learn paragraph writing if you want to write well-structured essay paragraphs to get top grades.

Below are eleven reasons your paragraphs are losing marks, and what to do about it!

Essay Paragraph Structure Rules

1. your paragraphs must be at least 4 sentences long.

In journalism and blog writing, a one-sentence paragraph is great. It’s short, to-the-point, and helps guide your reader. For essay paragraph structure, one-sentence paragraphs suck.

A one-sentence essay paragraph sends an instant signal to your teacher that you don’t have much to say on an issue.

A short paragraph signifies that you know something – but not much about it. A one-sentence paragraph lacks detail, depth and insight.

Many students come to me and ask, “what does ‘add depth’ mean?” It’s one of the most common pieces of feedback you’ll see written on the margins of your essay.

Personally, I think ‘add depth’ is bad feedback because it’s a short and vague comment. But, here’s what it means: You’ve not explained your point enough!

If you’re writing one-, two- or three-sentence essay paragraphs, you’re costing yourself marks.

Always aim for at least four sentences per paragraph in your essays.

This doesn’t mean that you should add ‘fluff’ or ‘padding’ sentences.

Make sure you don’t:

a) repeat what you said in different words, or b) write something just because you need another sentence in there.

But, you need to do some research and find something insightful to add to that two-sentence paragraph if you want to ace your essay.

Check out Points 5 and 6 for some advice on what to add to that short paragraph to add ‘depth’ to your paragraph and start moving to the top of the class.

• How to Make an Essay Longer
• How to Make an Essay Shorter

2. Your Paragraphs must not be more than 7 Sentences Long

Okay, so I just told you to aim for at least four sentences per paragraph. So, what’s the longest your paragraph should be?

Seven sentences. That’s a maximum.

So, here’s the rule:

Between four and seven sentences is the sweet spot that you need to aim for in every single paragraph.

Here’s why your paragraphs shouldn’t be longer than seven sentences:

1. It shows you can organize your thoughts. You need to show your teacher that you’ve broken up your key ideas into manageable segments of text (see point 10)

2. It makes your work easier to read.   You need your writing to be easily readable to make it easy for your teacher to give you good grades. Make your essay easy to read and you’ll get higher marks every time.

One of the most important ways you can make your work easier to read is by writing paragraphs that are less than six sentences long.

3. It prevents teacher frustration. Teachers are just like you. When they see a big block of text their eyes glaze over. They get frustrated, lost, their mind wanders … and you lose marks.

To prevent teacher frustration, you need to ensure there’s plenty of white space in your essay. It’s about showing them that the piece is clearly structured into one key idea per ‘chunk’ of text.

Often, you might find that your writing contains tautologies and other turns of phrase that can be shortened for clarity.

3. Your Paragraph must be Left-Aligned

Turn off ‘Justified’ text and: Never. Turn. It. On. Again.

Justified text is where the words are stretched out to make the paragraph look like a square. It turns the writing into a block. Don’t do it. You will lose marks, I promise you! Win the psychological game with your teacher: left-align your text.

A good essay paragraph is never ‘justified’.

I’m going to repeat this, because it’s important: to prevent your essay from looking like a big block of muddy, hard-to-read text align your text to the left margin only.

You want white space on your page – and lots of it. White space helps your reader scan through your work. It also prevents it from looking like big blocks of text.

You want your reader reading vertically as much as possible: scanning, browsing, and quickly looking through for evidence you’ve engaged with the big ideas.

The justified text doesn’t help you do that. Justified text makes your writing look like a big, lumpy block of text that your reader doesn’t want to read.

What’s wrong with Center-Aligned Text?

While I’m at it, never, ever, center-align your text either. Center-aligned text is impossible to skim-read. Your teacher wants to be able to quickly scan down the left margin to get the headline information in your paragraph.

Not many people center-align text, but it’s worth repeating: never, ever center-align your essays.

Don’t annoy your reader. Left align your text.

4. Your paragraphs must have a Topic Sentence

The first sentence of an essay paragraph is called the topic sentence. This is one of the most important sentences in the correct essay paragraph structure style.

The topic sentence should convey exactly what key idea you’re going to cover in your paragraph.

Too often, students don’t let their reader know what the key idea of the paragraph is until several sentences in.

You must show what the paragraph is about in the first sentence.

You never, ever want to keep your reader in suspense. Essays are not like creative writing. Tell them straight away what the paragraph is about. In fact, if you can, do it in the first half of the first sentence .

I’ll remind you again: make it easy to grade your work. Your teacher is reading through your work trying to determine what grade to give you. They’re probably going to mark 20 assignments in one sitting. They have no interest in storytelling or creativity. They just want to know how much you know! State what the paragraph is about immediately and move on.

Suggested: Best Words to Start a Paragraph

Ideal Essay Paragraph Structure Example: Writing a Topic Sentence If your paragraph is about how climate change is endangering polar bears, say it immediately : “Climate change is endangering polar bears.” should be your first sentence in your paragraph. Take a look at first sentence of each of the four paragraphs above this one. You can see from the first sentence of each paragraph that the paragraphs discuss:

When editing your work, read each paragraph and try to distil what the one key idea is in your paragraph. Ensure that this key idea is mentioned in the first sentence .

(Note: if there’s more than one key idea in the paragraph, you may have a problem. See Point 9 below .)

The topic sentence is the most important sentence for getting your essay paragraph structure right. So, get your topic sentences right and you’re on the right track to a good essay paragraph.

5. You need an Explanation Sentence

All topic sentences need a follow-up explanation. The very first point on this page was that too often students write paragraphs that are too short. To add what is called ‘depth’ to a paragraph, you can come up with two types of follow-up sentences: explanations and examples.

Let’s take explanation sentences first.

Explanation sentences give additional detail. They often provide one of the following services:

Let’s go back to our example of a paragraph on Climate change endangering polar bears. If your topic sentence is “Climate change is endangering polar bears.”, then your follow-up explanation sentence is likely to explain how, why, where, or when. You could say:

Ideal Essay Paragraph Structure Example: Writing Explanation Sentences 1. How: “The warming atmosphere is melting the polar ice caps.” 2. Why: “The polar bears’ habitats are shrinking every single year.” 3. Where: “This is happening in the Antarctic ice caps near Greenland.” 4. When: “Scientists first noticed the ice caps were shrinking in 1978.”

You don’t have to provide all four of these options each time.

But, if you’re struggling to think of what to add to your paragraph to add depth, consider one of these four options for a good quality explanation sentence.

>>>RELATED ARTICLE: SHOULD YOU USE RHETORICAL QUESTIONS IN ESSAYS ?

6. Your need to Include an Example

Examples matter! They add detail. They also help to show that you genuinely understand the issue. They show that you don’t just understand a concept in the abstract; you also understand how things work in real life.

Example sentences have the added benefit of personalising an issue. For example, after saying “Polar bears’ habitats are shrinking”, you could note specific habitats, facts and figures, or even a specific story about a bear who was impacted.

Ideal Essay Paragraph Structure Example: Writing an ‘Example’ Sentence “For example, 770,000 square miles of Arctic Sea Ice has melted in the past four decades, leading Polar Bear populations to dwindle ( National Geographic, 2018 )

In fact, one of the most effective politicians of our times – Barrack Obama – was an expert at this technique. He would often provide examples of people who got sick because they didn’t have healthcare to sell Obamacare.

What effect did this have? It showed the real-world impact of his ideas. It humanised him, and got him elected president – twice!

Be like Obama. Provide examples. Often.

7. All Paragraphs need Citations

Provide a reference to an academic source in every single body paragraph in the essay. The only two paragraphs where you don’t need a reference is the introduction and conclusion .

Let me repeat: Paragraphs need at least one reference to a quality scholarly source .

Let me go even further:

Students who get the best marks provide two references to two different academic sources in every paragraph.

Two references in a paragraph show you’ve read widely, cross-checked your sources, and given the paragraph real thought.

It’s really important that these references link to academic sources, not random websites, blogs or YouTube videos. Check out our Seven Best types of Sources to Cite in Essays post to get advice on what sources to cite. Number 6 w ill surprise you!

Ideal Essay Paragraph Structure Example: In-Text Referencing in Paragraphs Usually, in-text referencing takes the format: (Author, YEAR), but check your school’s referencing formatting requirements carefully. The ‘Author’ section is the author’s last name only. Not their initials. Not their first name. Just their last name . My name is Chris Drew. First name Chris, last name Drew. If you were going to reference an academic article I wrote in 2019, you would reference it like this: (Drew, 2019).

Where do you place those two references?

Place the first reference at the end of the first half of the paragraph. Place the second reference at the end of the second half of the paragraph.

This spreads the references out and makes it look like all the points throughout the paragraph are backed up by your sources. The goal is to make it look like you’ve reference regularly when your teacher scans through your work.

Remember, teachers can look out for signposts that indicate you’ve followed academic conventions and mentioned the right key ideas.

Spreading your referencing through the paragraph helps to make it look like you’ve followed the academic convention of referencing sources regularly.

Here are some examples of how to reference twice in a paragraph:

• If your paragraph was six sentences long, you would place your first reference at the end of the third sentence and your second reference at the end of the sixth sentence.
• If your paragraph was five sentences long, I would recommend placing one at the end of the second sentence and one at the end of the fifth sentence.

You’ve just read one of the key secrets to winning top marks.

8. Every Paragraph must be relevant to the Marking Criteria

Every paragraph must win you marks. When you’re editing your work, check through the piece to see if every paragraph is relevant to the marking criteria.

For the British: In the British university system (I’m including Australia and New Zealand here – I’ve taught at universities in all three countries), you’ll usually have a ‘marking criteria’. It’s usually a list of between two and six key learning outcomes your teacher needs to use to come up with your score. Sometimes it’s called a:

• Marking criteria
• Marking rubric
• (Key) learning outcome
• Indicative content

Check your assignment guidance to see if this is present. If so, use this list of learning outcomes to guide what you write. If your paragraphs are irrelevant to these key points, delete the paragraph .

Paragraphs that don’t link to the marking criteria are pointless. They won’t win you marks.

For the Americans: If you don’t have a marking criteria / rubric / outcomes list, you’ll need to stick closely to the essay question or topic. This goes out to those of you in the North American system. North America (including USA and Canada here) is often less structured and the professor might just give you a topic to base your essay on.

If all you’ve got is the essay question / topic, go through each paragraph and make sure each paragraph is relevant to the topic.

For example, if your essay question / topic is on “The Effects of Climate Change on Polar Bears”,

• Don’t talk about anything that doesn’t have some connection to climate change and polar bears;
• Don’t talk about the environmental impact of oil spills in the Gulf of Carpentaria;
• Don’t talk about black bear habitats in British Columbia.
• Do talk about the effects of climate change on polar bears (and relevant related topics) in every single paragraph .

You may think ‘stay relevant’ is obvious advice, but at least 20% of all essays I mark go off on tangents and waste words.

Stay on topic in Every. Single. Paragraph. If you want to learn more about how to stay on topic, check out our essay planning guide .

9. Only have one Key Idea per Paragraph

One key idea for each paragraph. One key idea for each paragraph. One key idea for each paragraph.

Don’t forget!

Too often, a student starts a paragraph talking about one thing and ends it talking about something totally different. Don’t be that student.

To ensure you’re focussing on one key idea in your paragraph, make sure you know what that key idea is. It should be mentioned in your topic sentence (see Point 3 ). Every other sentence in the paragraph adds depth to that one key idea.

If you’ve got sentences in your paragraph that are not relevant to the key idea in the paragraph, they don’t fit. They belong in another paragraph.

Go through all your paragraphs when editing your work and check to see if you’ve veered away from your paragraph’s key idea. If so, you might have two or even three key ideas in the one paragraph.

You’re going to have to get those additional key ideas, rip them out, and give them paragraphs of their own.

If you have more than one key idea in a paragraph you will lose marks. I promise you that.

The paragraphs will be too hard to read, your reader will get bogged down reading rather than scanning, and you’ll have lost grades.

10. Keep Sentences Short

If a sentence is too long it gets confusing. When the sentence is confusing, your reader will stop reading your work. They will stop reading the paragraph and move to the next one. They’ll have given up on your paragraph.

Short, snappy sentences are best.

Shorter sentences are easier to read and they make more sense. Too often, students think they have to use big, long, academic words to get the best marks. Wrong. Aim for clarity in every sentence in the paragraph. Your teacher will thank you for it.

The students who get the best marks write clear, short sentences.

When editing your draft, go through your essay and see if you can shorten your longest five sentences.

(To learn more about how to write the best quality sentences, see our page on Seven ways to Write Amazing Sentences .)

11. Keep Quotes Short

Eighty percent of university teachers hate quotes. That’s not an official figure. It’s my guestimate based on my many interactions in faculty lounges. Twenty percent don’t mind them, but chances are your teacher is one of the eight out of ten who hate quotes.

Teachers tend to be turned off by quotes because it makes it look like you don’t know how to say something on your own words.

Now that I’ve warned you, here’s how to use quotes properly:

Ideal Essay Paragraph Structure Example: How To Use Quotes in University-Level Essay Paragraphs 1. Your quote should be less than one sentence long. 2. Your quote should be less than one sentence long. 3. You should never start a sentence with a quote. 4. You should never end a paragraph with a quote. 5 . You should never use more than five quotes per essay. 6. Your quote should never be longer than one line in a paragraph.

The minute your teacher sees that your quote takes up a large chunk of your paragraph, you’ll have lost marks.

Your teacher will circle the quote, write a snarky comment in the margin, and not even bother to give you points for the key idea in the paragraph.

Avoid quotes, but if you really want to use them, follow those five rules above.

I’ve also provided additional pages outlining Seven tips on how to use Quotes if you want to delve deeper into how, when and where to use quotes in essays. Be warned: quoting in essays is harder than you thought.

Follow the advice above and you’ll be well on your way to getting top marks at university.

Writing essay paragraphs that are well structured takes time and practice. Don’t be too hard on yourself and keep on trying!

Below is a summary of our 11 key mistakes for structuring essay paragraphs and tips on how to avoid them.

I’ve also provided an easy-to-share infographic below that you can share on your favorite social networking site. Please share it if this article has helped you out!

11 Biggest Essay Paragraph Structure Mistakes you’re probably Making

1.  Your paragraphs are too short 2.  Your paragraphs are too long 3.  Your paragraph alignment is ‘Justified’ 4.  Your paragraphs are missing a topic sentence 5 .  Your paragraphs are missing an explanation sentence 6.  Your paragraphs are missing an example 7.  Your paragraphs are missing references 8.  Your paragraphs are not relevant to the marking criteria 9.  You’re trying to fit too many ideas into the one paragraph 10.  Your sentences are too long 11.  Your quotes are too long

• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd-2/ 25 Study Desk Aesthetic Ideas
• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd-2/ 25 Thoughtful Ways to Greet your Students
• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd-2/ 25 Pre-School Decor Ideas (Inspiring & Beautiful!)
• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd-2/ 25 Number Games for Kids (Free and Easy)

4 thoughts on “11 Rules for Essay Paragraph Structure (with Examples)”

Hello there. I noticed that throughout this article on Essay Writing, you keep on saying that the teacher won’t have time to go through the entire essay. Don’t you think this is a bit discouraging that with all the hard work and time put into your writing, to know that the teacher will not read through the entire paper?

Hi Clarence,

Thanks so much for your comment! I love to hear from readers on their thoughts.

Yes, I agree that it’s incredibly disheartening.

But, I also think students would appreciate hearing the truth.

Behind closed doors many / most university teachers are very open about the fact they ‘only have time to skim-read papers’. They regularly bring this up during heated faculty meetings about contract negotiations! I.e. in one university I worked at, we were allocated 45 minutes per 10,000 words – that’s just over 4 minutes per 1,000 word essay, and that’d include writing the feedback, too!

If students know the truth, they can better write their essays in a way that will get across the key points even from a ‘skim-read’.

I hope to write candidly on this website – i.e. some of this info will never be written on university blogs because universities want to hide these unfortunate truths from students.

Thanks so much for stopping by!

Regards, Chris

This is wonderful and helpful, all I say is thank you very much. Because I learned a lot from this site, own by chris thank you Sir.

Thank you. This helped a lot.

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Want to write a college essay that sets you apart? Three tips to give you a head start

1. Keep it real. It’s normal to want to make a good impression on the school of your choice, but it’s also important to show who you really are. So just be yourself! Compelling stories might not be perfectly linear or have a happy ending, and that’s OK. It’s best to be authentic instead of telling schools what you think they want to hear.

2. Be reflective . Think about how you’ve changed during high school. How have you grown and improved? What makes you feel ready for college, and how do you hope to contribute to the campus community and society at large?

3. Look to the future. Consider your reasons for attending college. What do you hope to gain from your education? What about college excites you the most, and what would you like to do after you graduate? Answering these questions will not only give colleges insight into the kind of student you’ll be, but it will also give you the personal insight you’ll need to choose the school that’s right for you.

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• 13 Essential Editing Tips to Use in Your Essay Writing

The good student strives constantly to achieve a better essay each time they write one.

It can be a challenge to find ways to keep improving, but one way of making your essays instantly better is effective editing. Editing your essay before you submit it could mean the difference between a good grade and a brilliant one, so it’s worth taking fifteen minutes or so before you send it off just checking through it to make sure that the structure and wording is as good as it can be. In this article, we give you some tips to think about when you’re editing your own writing. Keep these tips alongside you to use as a checklist and you can’t go far wrong!

1. Start by getting the structure right

If you have time, try to leave a bit of time between finishing your essay and starting the editing process. This gives you time to approach it feeling reasonably fresh; if you edit immediately after spending a long time on something, you might find that you’re so close to it that you’re unable to spot errors. When you do sit down to look through it, start by looking at its structure. Think about the overarching shape of the argument you’re developing and check that the points you’ve made help build your essay towards a logical conclusion. You may have written an essay with the points in order of when they occurred to you, but is this really the most sensible order? Does one point follow logically on from the other? Would it make the essay more interesting to include a certain point near the beginning to tease the reader, or are you revealing too much in the opening, meaning it would be better to move some points nearer the end? These are just a few of the ways in which it might be possible to improve the structure, so it helps to keep in mind your overall argument and ensure your structure puts it across as effectively as possible. With word processors now the primary means of writing essays, it couldn’t be easier to rearrange paragraphs into a more logical structure by dragging and dropping or cutting and pasting paragraphs. If you do this, don’t forget to reread the essay to ensure that the wording works with this new order, otherwise you may end up with a sentence leading into the wrong paragraph.

2. Prune long sentences and paragraphs

Whether you’ve exceeded your word count or not, long sentences and paragraphs should be edited because they can be trickier to read, and risk being boring or hard to follow. Try, therefore, to keep sentences to a maximum of two or three clauses (or segments). Avoid long paragraphs by starting a new one if you find one getting longer than three or four sentences: a wall of text can be off-putting to the reader. Leave a space between paragraphs if you’re typing your essay, as we’re doing in this article. Another way of keeping sentences to a reasonable length is to go through what you’ve written and tighten up the wording. If you find yourself writing long sentences, try to look for ways in which you can reword them to express what you’re trying to say more concisely. You’ll probably find numerous instances of phrases that take many words to say what could be said in two or three.

3. Keep overly complicated language in check

It’s going to look obvious if you’ve had a thesaurus next to you while writing, just so that you can replace all the simple words with more complicated ones. The thing is, it doesn’t always make you look intelligent; you may, for instance, inadvertently choose the wrong synonym, not realising that even close synonyms can have subtly different meanings or connotations. Sometimes using big words where simple ones would suffice can seem contrived and pompous; aim for clear, concise language to avoid being verbose or pretentious. That’s not to say you shouldn’t use more complex words at all – just choose the situation carefully and don’t overdo it.

4. Watch for repetition of ideas and words

It’s easy to repeat yourself without realising it when you’re writing, but the editing process is there to enable you to spot this before your teacher or lecturer sees it. As you read through your essay, keep a look out for ideas you’ve repeated and delete whichever repetitions add nothing to your essay (don’t forget that the first instance of the idea may not be the most appropriate place for it, so consider which is the best moment to introduce it and delete the other mentions). On a related note, look out for instances in which you’ve laboured the point. Going on about a particular point for too long can actually undermine the strength of your argument, because it makes you look as though you’re desperately grappling to find supporting facts; sometimes a simple, clear statement with a brief piece of evidence to back it up is all that’s needed. You should be equally wary of repetition of words within the same sentence or paragraph. It’s fine to repeat common words such as “the”, obviously, but it’s best to avoid using the same connecting words, such as “also”, more than once in the same paragraph. Rephrase using alternative expressions, such as “what’s more”. More unusual words should be used just once per paragraph – words such as “unavoidable”, for example – unless it’s for emphasis.

5. Don’t rely on the spellcheck

It’s a tip we’ve told you before, but it’s worth repeating because it’s very important! The spellcheck will not pick up every single error in your essay. It may highlight some typos and misspellings, but it won’t tell you if you’ve inadvertently used the wrong word altogether. For example, you may have meant to write the word “from”, but accidentally mistyped it as “form” – which is still a word, so the spellchecker won’t register it. But it’s not the word you meant to write.

6. Spotting typos

It’s said that if you read through your work backwards, you’re more likely to spot typos. This is probably because it’s giving you a new perspective on what you’ve written, making it easier to spot glaring errors than if you read through it in the order in which you wrote it and in which you know what to expect. So, start with the last sentence and keep going in reverse order until you get to the beginning of your essay. Another tip is to print out your essay and take a red pen to it, circling or underlining all the errors and then correcting them on the computer later. It’s often easier to read a document from a printed version, and it also means that you can follow what you’re doing by touching each word with the end of your pencil to make sure you’re not skimming over any errors.

7. Omit unnecessary words and eradicate weasel words

Without even realising it, you’ve probably used plenty of unnecessary words in your writing – words that add to the word count without adding to the meaning – and you’ll find that your writing works just as well without them. An example is the word “very”, which almost always adds nothing to what you’re trying to say. As Mark Twain said, “Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very’; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be”. Weasel words are worse, as they are used to hide weak or objectionable arguments. A study of Wikipedia found that these tend to fall into three different categories: numerical vagueness (such as “many people say” without specifying who these people are), the use of the passive voice to distance the writer from what they’re saying (“it is often said”, for example, without saying by whom it is often said), and the use of adverbs designed to soften a point (such as “probably”). Look out for these in your own writing and rephrase to remove them; they are disingenuous and your essay will be stronger without them.

8. Remove tautologies

A tautology is a stylistic error involving redundant words, in this case the use of two consecutive words that mean the same thing, such as “the big giant” (referring simply to a “giant” would have been sufficient to convey the meaning). Students often use them when they’re trying to make their writing wordier, not realising that they simply make their writing worse.

9. Watch the commas

People tend either to put too many commas into a sentence, or too few. Too many, and the sentence sounds broken and odd; too few, and the reader has to read the sentence several times to figure out what you’re trying to say, because it comes out in a long, jumbled mess. The secret is to put commas in where you would naturally pause when speaking aloud. If it helps, try reading your writing aloud to see if it flows. Where you would pause for slightly longer, a semi-colon might be more appropriate than a comma. Use a semi-colon to connect two independent clauses that would work as two separate sentences.

10. Consistent spelling

Some words have more than one correct spelling, and the important thing is to be consistent with which one you use. You could, if you wanted to make your life a little easier, delve into the settings on your word processor and manipulate the spellcheck so that it highlights the version you decided against – or even autocorrects to the right version. If you’re writing in the UK, ensure that your word processor’s default language is set to UK English so that you don’t end up inadvertently correcting English spellings to US ones (“colour” to “color”, for example).

11. Get rid of exclamation marks and ellipses

In virtually every case, you don’t need to use an exclamation mark, and – at least in academic writing – your use of one may result in your writing not being taken quite so seriously. Only use them in exceptional circumstances when you really want to convey a feeling of surprise or outrage. Ellipses (“…”) should also be avoided except when you’re indicating the truncation of a quote from another writer (that is, where you left a bit out).

12. Attribute quotations

Quotations from authors or academic writers should be attributed to them. As you read through your essay, keep a look out for any quotations you’ve mentioned and make sure that you say where they’re from. If you’re writing an essay for university, a footnote would be an appropriate way of citing another writer. If you are using footnotes, this gives an extra area on which to focus your editing skills; ensure that all footnotes are consistently formatted, and don’t forget to put a bibliography containing all the books you’ve used at the end.

13. Consistent formatting

The appearance of your essay matters, too – and the formatting should not be neglected when you’re in editing mode. This means being consistent with your use of fonts, using italics or underline for emphasis rather than using them interchangeably, ensuring that the spacing between lines is consistent throughout, and other such minor aesthetic points. This may not sound very important, but consistent formatting helps your essay look professional; if you’ve used different fonts or line spacing or anything like that, your essay will look a mess even if what you’ve said in it is good. You could make use of the pre-populated formatting options in your word processor to ensure consistency throughout, with header 1 for the title, header 2 for subheadings and ‘normal text’ for the body of the document. If you find that there are too many things on this list to think about in one go when you’re reading through your essay, you could read through it several times looking out for different things each time. All this may seem a lot to think about when you’ve already put in so much effort to write the essay in the first place, but trust us: it will pay off with a sleek and polished piece.

• climate change

How Climate Disasters Are Making Food Expensive Everywhere 

I n today’s climate-changing world, climate events thousands of miles away drive the cost of everything around us—from a flight ticket to a new piece of clothing to the market price of a meal at your favorite restaurant. 

Take olive oil and chocolate as examples. Severe droughts in the Mediterranean have slashed Spain's olive harvest by 40%, driving up prices by 27% in June compared to last year for American consumers. Similarly , t he price of some chocolates , such as Cadbury’s Freddo, are already higher by 200% this year in Australia with similar price rise expected in the U.S markets, driven mostly by the extreme weather impacting small-holder cocoa farmers in Ghana and Ivory Coast.

Such climate disasters in wheat producing countries such as Argentina also impact essential food products such as breakfast cereal, pasta, and bread. The price of wheat—and wheat-based food products—has experienced some of its greatest volatility in years since 2021. Why? Wheat production in Argentina was hit by drought in 2021and then in 2023, panicking global wheat supply chains already stressed by the Russia-Ukraine crisis. Food companies reacted to this volatility by preemptively increasing consumer prices.

Wheat price spikes might mean an extra dollar for pasta for me as an Indian American now living in California, but for my cousins back in India, food inflation means cuts elsewhere, like education budgets . Growing up in countryside India in a joint family of 14, we often faced these challenges. When food prices increased, my three siblings and I had to switch to buying second-hand textbooks at the start of the new school year. A similar pattern has been observed in low-income American households , too, who switch to canned fruits and vegetables from fresh ones in response to rising food prices.

Our planet is locked into several decades of climate change, regardless of our current mitigation actions. As an entrepreneur working to make food and agriculture supply chains more climate-resilient, I know we need to fundamentally rethink our approach to supply chains to ensure affordable, available food for all.

Read More: How to Feed the World Sustainably

Food supply chains are among the most critical in the world, and they face some of the biggest climate change-related threats, such as extreme weather, rising temperatures, and water scarcity impacting crop yield and quality—all of which affect food security. But while climate change contributes significantly to this problem, other events such as wars compound it. Consequently, many governments enter “panic mode” and enact protectionist measures to protect their interests. However, this often has domino effects that add to the exact problem they intend to avoid—price surges across food supply chains disproportionately impacting lower and middle-income consumers, including farmers who  are net consumers themselves . Meaning, many farmers spend more money on food for their families than they make by farming crops.

In theory, policies such as nearshoring (relocating supply chains to neighboring countries such as Mexico), friendshoring (relocating supply chains to ally nations such as India) and “America First” are helpful for semiconductor supply chains. But they can’t work in food supply chains. Sriracha peppers can’t grow in Minneapolis, and avocados can’t grow in Canada. Even if countries succeed in diversifying their food supply chains with friendly nations, it doesn’t necessarily mean that supply chains on both sides won't be impacted simultaneously by climate events .

Instead, we need a radical rethinking of our approach to building resilience in food supply chains. So far, all the approaches to climate adaptation are country or company-specific. But this global challenge requires a global solution: a collective, cooperative effort that is proactive rather than reactive from governments and companies on an international supply chain level to build resilience in the face of climate change.

One of those global initiatives could be to launch supply chain climate adaptation plans (S-CAPs). These plans, similar to national climate adaptation plans, would be led by multilateral organizations—WTO or World Bank in collaboration with governments—and private sector companies in food, agrochemical, and transportation sectors. They would start by identifying vulnerable global food supply chains, focusing on essential foods like wheat and rice. They would map out areas prone to climate risks, critical transport routes, and important farming regions. Then, they would develop strategies and identify projects to reduce these risks, such as creating climate-resistant seeds, diversifying transport methods, investing in technology to detect hazards, and growing crops in safer areas.

An effort like this would require funding—a combination of international funding and companies’ contributions to support assessments, R&D, and implementation. In fact, unlike initiatives for cutting carbon emissions, driven mainly by reputational and regulatory concerns, initiatives to protect our food supply chains could have 2 times to 10 times the return on investment in the short-to-medium term. For instance, Ethiopia's investment in drought-resistant crops and water management increased yields by 40% and enhanced food security , returning $2 to $4 for every $1 spent.

An international agreement might not sound like the most exciting climate change solution, but it can help keep food stocked and prices low for everyday consumers. 

When the COVID-19 crisis hit, the world came together and went from having no knowledge of the virus to developing and deploying 5 billion vaccines within 18 months. We can certainly replicate that for the food crisis. But a collaboration mindset, rather than an America-first isolationist mindset, is critical to succeed.

More Must-Reads from TIME

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• The Reintroduction of Kamala Harris
• The 7 States That Will Decide the Election
• Why China Won’t Allow Single Women to Freeze Their Eggs
• Is the U.S. Ready for Psychedelics?
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• Can Food Really Change Your Hormones?

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Joining the infertility community is complicated. Leaving it can be, too

Seven weeks into my pregnancy I said an emotional goodbye to my fertility doctor and favorite nurse, and “graduated” from the clinic to the obstetrician’s office one flight up. 

Every time I sat in the well-lit area awaiting my maternal care appointment, I noticed how vastly different this room was from the one downstairs. This new waiting room was filled with anxious anticipation, an excitement that vibrated through the room of women with various-sized bellies, all eager to see black-and-white images of babies who lived inside them. The fertility clinic, where I’d gone for appointments for years, had felt like a conveyor belt of people, overflowing with invisible grief and hope. 

After almost six years of disappointment, loss and unsuccessful fertility treatments , I’d finally made it to the coveted fourth floor. It would be one of many notable graduations in my pregnancy. 

I didn’t expect to be a member of the infertility club. Fortunately, I quickly found out about all the resources: support groups and meetups and message boards designed for people in my exact situation. After my second miscarriage, and a year before I turned to in vitro fertilization, I joined a group, in person. Months later it turned virtual due to the pandemic. 

The free virtual support group, organized by Resolve , was a place of safety and comfort for me. I never missed a meeting and felt more understood by my fellow, female strangers than anyone in my real life. We didn’t know each other outside of the group but our stories, and empathy for one another, bonded us — at least for one night each month. 

Over the next three years, I watched the tiny squares of women drop off my screen, gone from the group forever. They didn’t usually announce their departure; they just stopped attending the group. But once, a woman came to the meeting to say goodbye. 

“I feel so, so bad for all of you,” she said with tears in her eyes while she announced her good news, and prayed that we would all find our happy endings, too. 

Many congratulated her, but for me, the farewell garnered a different reaction — annoyance. I’m sure her words were intended to be hopeful and positive. But her tone of pity and sympathy seemed unfair and misplaced, and made me feel emptier than usual. 

I myself almost graduated from the support group a few times. But each time, I lost the pregnancy or had an unsuccessful fertility treatment cycle . Having to rejoin elicited a new level of pain. More new members were welcomed, and also eventually left. All while I remained. I was happy, at times even hopeful seeing their success. But each time, it was a reminder that the group was a transient place, meant to be a stepping stone — whether it ended with parenthood or not — and I was instead static. 

By the time I was a veteran of the infertility-treatment process, I’d become jaded. My bright-eyed naivete was gone, along with the excitement that starting a new cycle typically brought. I’d experienced too much. When a “newbie” spoke in the support group about things she was doing to try to improve her egg quality, I privately rolled my eyes. 

“Your egg quality ain’t changing unfortunately,” I told the group once. “No matter what the influencers say, that’s just the truth.” I realized that, as valuable as the group was, and even though I wasn’t a mom yet, I’d somehow outgrown it.

But I was still a part of the infertility community, and had made some friends. I was particularly close to one woman, and we’d talk frequently. When one of our transfers failed, or an IVF cycle got interrupted by any number of things, we turned to each other. 

Initially, our bond was borne out of shared misfortunes, and nurtured by our compassion for those similarities. Though our friendship eventually extended beyond our fertility stories to lunches, hair appointments and even a painting class, our shared struggles were its foundation.  

Then, one of my many embryo transfers finally worked, and I was pregnant. What had intertwined our lives now distanced them. 

“Don’t feel like you can’t tell me stuff,” my friend declared, when I told her the news at my seven-week mark, even then with some hesitation. Despite her insistence nothing would change, I knew it likely would. 

At 10 weeks, I was still pregnant. When my fertility doctor said, “This is the last time I’ll officially see you,” I cried, feeling more optimistic than ever before. 

At my 18-week appointment, which included an anatomy ultrasound, I breathed a sigh of relief so deep it shook my whole body. It was the milestone I’d been waiting for, the farthest I’d ever gotten in a pregnancy. I knew in my heart that this time it was really happening. 

Pregnancy after infertility, or loss, can be filled with anxiety, ambivalent emotion and even guilt. But, as I learned, there are few resources to help navigate the nuanced transition.  

Infertility had been part of my social and personal identity for so long, and closing that difficult chapter of my life was all I wanted. When my time came, I was overjoyed. But hidden deep beneath my elation, a residue of grief remained for the community I was finally leaving behind. 

Graduating from the infertility community requires a certain level of emotional flexibility. I reached the other side but knew far too well what it took to get there. My battles had culminated with the miracle of a new baby on the way. But the scars of my experiences wouldn’t disappear so easily. They weren’t only a part of me, but a memory of what we all went through. I had perspective now. It was how I knew that unintentional shifts in friendship were often a consequence of new life milestones.

Graduating from the infertility community requires a certain level of emotional flexibility. I reached the other side but knew far too well what it took to get there. ... The scars of my experience wouldn't disappear so easily.

My friend and I didn’t see each other at all over the next nine months. Throughout my pregnancy I suggested meetups and coffee dates, and while I was never outright rejected, it didn’t lead to anything. As much as it hurt, I’d been on the other side and created my own distance too many times to push now. I knew space and understanding were required. 

In many Facebook infertility groups, a frequently used phrase at the beginning of a post is “trigger warning.” It’s used not just for difficult or traumatic stories, but as a precursor to happy ones as well. This sensitivity has led to intense debates between those who want to see baby news and find it positive or hopeful, and others who find it too difficult to handle.

But I’ve seen less discussion about how to navigate this sensitive terrain as the pregnant person, when you’re the person delivering, not receiving, the news. I wasn’t sure how to handle this new situation I found myself in.

I dreamt of having a baby, and struggled to become a parent. Though I’m ecstatic to have made it to my destination, I’ll continue to hold space and sensitivity for those still on the journey, no matter where it takes them. 

Recently I finally met up with my friend — our first time seeing each other in 10 months. We laughed, hugged, and she met my daughter. Our lives had veered off course from each other, but there was comfort in knowing we could still come together over a cup of coffee. I told her I was there for her, whenever she needed to talk about anything. She may not choose to do so, but I’ll always make sure she knows.

Blake Turck is a freelance writer and New York City native. She can be found most nights watching movies on the couch with her husband and 5-year-old goldendoodle, Chief Brody, or on Twitter at twitter.com/styleisland .

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Making Writing Flow with Transitional Words and Phrases

• 3-minute read
• 10th January 2020

One challenge of  academic writing  is making sure your essay flows from one section, paragraph, or sentence to the next. Without doing this, your writing may seem choppy, making it difficult for readers to follow your argument.

To ensure your writing flows, it’s important to use transitional words and paragraphs. These are phrases and passages of text that link different parts of  your essay , usually by specifying how one sentence or paragraph relates to the next. Let’s look at a few examples of how this works.

How to Use Transitional Paragraphs

A transitional paragraph  is a short passage explaining the connection between two parts of an essay, often by summarizing the previous section to prepare for the following one. This helps the reader follow your argument.

For example, if we were discussing the causes of a marketing trend, we might use a transitional paragraph to move from one point of focus to the next:

In the previous section we considered environmental factors behind the observed changes, whereas now we will examine psychological motivations. These are connected insofar as…

Generally, transitional paragraphs are useful in longer essays or dissertations, especially those comprising several independent chapters. Your reader may need reminders of what you’ve discussed so they can see how each section contributes to your overall argument.

How to Use Transitions within Paragraphs

Equally important are transitions within paragraphs. A long passage with short, unconnected sentences will be very confusing. This is where transitional words and phrases come in handy. They can help you specify the relationship between sentences.

Take, for example, these sentences, where there are no obvious transitions:

Bill and Ben (1952) achieved their results using non-standard language. Other studies have used conventional forms of speech. It is not clear whether the language used effects findings.

This isn’t hard to follow, but over an entire essay it can become difficult. The reader may have to guess how each sentence relates to the other. Therefore, it’s helpful to include a few words or phrases to bridge the statements:

Bill and Ben (1952) achieved their results using non-standard language, but other studies have used conventional forms of speech. Consequently, it is not clear whether the language used effects findings.

Here, connecting the first two sentences with “but” shows that a contrast is being introduced, while the phrase “consequently” signals that the third sentence is a conclusion based on the preceding statements.

Find this useful?

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List of Transitional Words and Phrases

Let’s end with a short list of some handy transitional words and phrases. Just make sure you know what they all mean before using them!

With the simple addition of transition words like these, we remove any doubt about how two sentences may be related.

Another way to ensure your writing is clear, though, is to have it proofread by the specialists. Get in touch today if you’d like our expert help!

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US Coast Guard Academy works to change its culture following sexual abuse and harassment scandal

Swabs march under the eye of second class cadets known as cadre at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy, Monday, July 15, 2024, in New London, Conn. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

Swabs read the “Running Light” guidebook during Swab Summer indoctrination at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy, Monday, July 15, 2024, in New London, Conn. The training program designed to transform civilian students into military members with guidance from the team of second class cadets known as cadre. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

Swabs climb a rope in an obstacle course during Swab Summer indoctrination at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy, Monday, July 15, 2024, in New London, Conn. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

A second class cadet known as cadre holds a clipboard while watching Swabs in a training exercise at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy, Monday, July 15, 2024, in New London, Conn. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

The U.S. Coast Guard Academy is seen in early evening, Monday, July 15, 2024 in New London, Conn. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

Second Class Cadet cadres read and respond to journal entries written by Swabs during an evening debriefing at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy, Monday, July 15, 2024, in New London, Conn. Swabs write about their feelings and experiences about their day. Cadres reply with notes to the Swabs and also use the journals to help them be on the lookout for a swab who might be having problems. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

Second Class Cadet Cadre Gabriella Kraus-Rivera, right, listens as she leads an Shield training session with Swabs at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy, Monday, July 15, 2024, in New London, Conn. The training is an opportunity for Swabs to learn about the core values of honor, respect, devotion and duty on an intimate level with guidance from the team of second class cadets known as cadre. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

A Second Class Cadet cadre leads an Shield training session with Swabs at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy, Monday, July 15, 2024, in New London, Conn. The training is an opportunity for Swabs to learn about the core values of honor, respect, devotion and duty on an intimate level with guidance from the team of second class cadets known as cadre. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

Swabs Rafael Davila or Puerto Rico, left, and Cadre Conner Dobie of Louisiana, center, listen to instructions from Second Class Cadet Cadre Jackson Triepke of Montana, right, while training to sail during Swab Summer indoctrination at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy in New London, Conn. The training program designed to transform civilian students into military members with guidance from the team of second class cadets known as cadre. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

Swabs Chloe Middleton, left, and Isabelle Fontana, high-five each other after completing a task in their boat during Swab Summer indoctrination at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy. Monday, July 15, 2024, in New London, Conn. Swab summer is designed to transform civilian students into military members with guidance from the team of second class cadets known as cadre. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

Rear Admiral Michael J. Johnston sits for an interview with The Associated Press at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy, Monday, July 15, 2024, in New London, Conn. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

Cadets line up during evening colors at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy, Monday, July 15, 2024 in New London, Conn. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

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NEW LONDON, Conn. (AP) — The grueling basic training for fledgling cadets at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy, known as swab summer, has been revamped this year in light of a sexual abuse scandal that has rocked the prestigious service academy.

Gone is the shock-and-awe on Day 1 of the seven-week boot camp when rising juniors, known as cadre, shout in the faces of the roughly 300 incoming freshmen students when they first arrive at the New London, Connecticut, campus for future U.S. Coast Guard officers. This year, the cadre read forcefully from a prepared script, avoiding improvisation and yelling.

The goal is to drain the adrenaline of the cadre and make the boot camp more about mentorship and respect than browbeating and bullying, hopefully creating a positive ripple effect throughout the Coast Guard.

“When you don’t have a script, you end up just resorting to volume,” said retired Cmdr. John Heller, the deputy commandant of cadets for strategy and leadership, who has worked at the academy in various roles for about 25 years and helped to oversee the latest changes mirrored after the U.S. Military Academy’s cadet training. “What ends up happening is, we had been onboarding our cadets for decades, unintentionally perhaps, in a climate of fear and intimidation.”

Changing the climate of swab summer is one of seven actions the academy was instructed to take following revelations the Coast Guard kept secret a probe called Operation Fouled Anchor. The investigation found that dozens of sexual assault and harassment cases involving cadets from 1990 to 2006 had been mishandled by the school , including the prevention of some perpetrators from being prosecuted.

The revelation, first reported by CNN , sparked calls for major reforms and long-awaited accountability for the offenders and those who protected them. There are multiple government and congressional investigations underway looking into the mishandling of serious misbehavior at the school and beyond.

A damning majority staff report released Wednesday by the Senate’s Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations found “systemic failures” that “continue to this day” at the academy and in the wider Coast Guard. At a field hearing the committee held Thursday in New London, past and present enlisted personnel spoke of abuse and harassment they experienced and how a “culture of coverup” ultimately protected their perpetrators.

Shannon Norenberg, a former sexual assault response coordinator at the academy who resigned in June and turned whistleblower, said 20-year-old cadets training and having power over swabs a couple years younger, with minimal supervision, was an issue she raised during last year’s review that the commandant ordered following the revelations of Operation Fouled Anchor.

“Sometimes the cadets just are not mature enough to handle that role of being in charge and they go too far” and get personal, such as making comments about a swab’s intelligence or appearance, said Norenberg, who has since rescinded her resignation and is trying to return to her campus position. “Instead of correcting swabs’ behavior, they would insult their character or attack their worthiness to be there.”

Months later, the swabs have learned that the cadre, whom they still call sir and ma’am, can tell them what to do and get them in trouble.

“You can imagine the misuse of power that has been taken advantage of over and over,” said Norenberg, who noted that during her 11 years at the academy, she dealt with more than 150 reported sexual assault cases, including many that involved the abuse of power.

As ordered by the commandant, there’s more oversight of the cadre this summer. Drill instructors from Training Center Cape May in New Jersey, where enlisted personnel are trained, have been tasked with mentoring the cadre. Outside experts have been invited to campus to talk about issues such as power dynamics.

That’s in addition to professional victim advocates who were first hired at the school in 2021 and who have been training the swabs and cadre about sexual harassment, assault and rape.

A new program called shield training was implemented this year to emphasize the Coast Guard’s core values of honor, respect and devotion to duty. Every night after tired swabs have showered — some in individual stalls that were recently built to provide privacy — they break into groups with a cadre member to go over a lesson and discuss what happened that day with their squad.

Swabs are allowed to note personal issues they might be having in daily diaries that cadre review. They can also make a special hand gesture to signal they need to speak in private with cadre.

Oliva Spada, a swab from Long Island, New York, said she had some trepidation before coming to the academy due the reports of sexual abuse and harassment. But a few weeks into her new life as a cadet, she felt completely safe.

“Like, never, ever would I feel like anything like that would happen,” she said. “I feel completely safe around my cadre, around my shipmates.”

But the changes have been met with skepticism by some past and present Coasties, the nickname for Coast Guard members.

“It’s theater. They have not internalized any wrongdoing,” said retired Cmdr. Kimberly McLear, a former whistleblower who taught at the academy and later founded the Right the Ship Coalition, which seeks to help those “wronged by the culture of cruelty and cover-up” in the Coast Guard.

“They are taking calculated measures to shift attention to cadets’ performance to distract from the culture of the staff, faculty, and leaders up to the commandant.”

Academy staff are well aware of the skepticism about the changes being made and whether they get to the heart of the problem.

“We’ve got a lot of trust that we’ve got to earn back,” said Cmdr. Krystyn Pecora, who attended the academy 20 years ago. “And so I can appreciate that skepticism.”

Pecora said she disagrees with criticism from some old-guard Coasties, who believe the school is now going too easy on the new cadets.

“There’s nothing easy about respect,” she said. “In fact, it’s easier for me to just go down there and scream and intimidate. It’s not more effective. So putting this focus on building respectful leadership, that’s challenging and it’s not easier for anyone.”

The Coast Guard as a whole has been tasked with taking 33 actions in light of Operation Fouled Anchor, including seven assigned to the academy.

Besides changes to swab summer, the cadets’ conduct system is being updated and security in the dormitory is being strengthened, including plans to upgrade locks on cadets’ rooms and install more security cameras. There’s a new policy that allows cadets who have been assaulted to continue their studies at another service academy.

Cadet 2nd Class Gabriella Kraus-Rivera said Operation Fouled Anchor is common knowledge among the cadets and “there’s no kid here that doesn’t understand what happened” and that cultural changes are needed.

“I think that’s part of having honor, is living with that integrity and being able to be honest about the things that happened at this academy,” she said. “The only way you’re going to change it is if you acknowledge it first.”

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Want to See Coral Reefs Grow? Freeze Them.

By Carly D. Kenkel

Dr. Kenkel is a marine biologist who has been studying Caribbean coral reefs since 2006.

Since 2018, my lab has transplanted hundreds of coral specimens to reefs in Florida to study what makes them grow. We have albums of photos documenting their lives, starting from branches no bigger than your finger to beautiful treelike adults as big as beach balls.

In June 2023, as water temperatures in Florida skyrocketed, my team rushed to our field sites — and found extreme bleaching (the loss of color signaling that corals are starving) and death already underway. Throughout the Florida Keys, corals were disappearing in an ocean that had become too hot for them to survive. We left our experiment running to find out what would happen. By November, 98 percent of our corals were dead.

This severe bleaching was just the latest blow to reefs already battered by storms, disease and the loss of other animals. In the 18 years I’ve studied reefs in the Florida Keys and the Caribbean, coral populations have continued to decline such that they can no longer recover naturally; I worry that even those few survivors from our project won’t last another summer in which water temperatures soar past 100 degrees Fahrenheit.

Caribbean reefs are now in such dire condition that lifelong coral biologists are considering calling them a total loss and trying to replace native coral with species imported from the Pacific Ocean. I have a different take. I believe we can still stave off the complete collapse of Caribbean reefs. But we must act quickly to bank living coral in aquariums and stockpile their eggs and sperm in cryostorage for future I.V.F. efforts. If we abandon them in an increasingly inhospitable ocean, we put them at risk of extinction.

The goal is to buy time while we wait for the world to slow, and hopefully, one day reverse climate change. Banking and freezing coral may sound extreme, but it’s necessary — many of the remaining wild corals represent unique genetic combinations. Lose too many and the rest could go extinct just by chance. If we can’t rescue them, we could face the extinction of an entire ecosystem.

Last summer, there wasn’t a roster of emergency workers to help evacuate corals , much less aquariums fully prepared to receive them. Organizations such as Mote Marine Laboratory and the Florida Aquarium swiftly mobilized what tanks and teams they could. Those teams worked themselves to the breaking point.

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Essays About Change: Top 5 Examples and 10 Prompts

If you are writing essays about change, see below our best essay examples and writing prompts to help expand your horizon on this topic.

The only thing constant is change. It could be good or bad. It could be short-term or have a lasting impact. The best we can do is to ride on this inevitable and never-ending cycle of change and try coming out of it still standing, thriving, and smiling. This ability to cope with change is called resilience. 

However, some changes – such as the loss of a loved one or a livelihood — are too overwhelming to deal with that some fall into trauma and depression, in which case psychological support is highly encouraged. Read on to see our round-up of rich, well-written essays about change, and a list of helpful prompts follows to help you start your essay. 

1. “The Psychology Of Dealing With Change: How To Become Resilient” by Kathleen Smith

2. how prison changes people by christian jarrett, 3. six ways the workplace will change in the next 10 years by jordan turner, 4. “social movements for good: what they are and how to lead them” by derrick feldman, 5. “the right way to make a big career transition” by utkarsh amitabh, 1. changing your lifestyle for the better, 2. be the change the world needs, 3. adapting to life-changing events, 4. addressing climate change, 5. how did technology change our daily lives, 6. people who changed the world, 7. if you could change the world, 8. dealing with resistance to change, 9. coming-of-age novels, 10. changing your eating habits.

“If you can learn to cope with change, you’ll lower your risk for anxiety and depression. Your relationships will flourish, and your body will feel healthier. But if you can’t cope with change, only a minor amount of stress can make you feel overwhelmed by life. You might also struggle to set and meet the goals you have for yourself.”

Instead of fixating on events and people over which we do not have the power to control, we should focus on ourselves and how we can embrace change without fear. Some tips in this essay include practicing self-care, being in the present, and focusing on your priorities, such as health and well-being. 

Check out these essays about being grateful and essays about heroes .

“Ultimately, society may be confronted with a choice. We can punish offenders more severely and risk changing them for the worse, or we can design sentencing rules and prisons in a way that helps offenders rehabilitate and change for the better.”

In an environment where you are forced to follow the rules to the letter and worry about your safety and privacy daily, prisoners could develop a kind of “perpetual paranoia” or “emotional numbing” and deteriorate cognitive abilities. The essay suggests a rethink in how we deal with law-breakers to encourage reform rather than punish and risk repeat offenses.

Check out these essays about police brutality and essays about assessment .

“As technology closes the divide between geographically separate people, it introduces cracks in relationships and cultures. The remote distribution of work means that many employees will not build the same social relationships in the workplace, leading to issues of disengagement and loneliness.”

The COVID-19 pandemic has already disrupted our way of work in our new normal, but more changes are yet to unfold. This essay looks into the future of work where responsibilities and demands will see a sea change; machines will be co-workers; and the best employee is defined by digital skills, not years of experience.

You might also like these essays about cinema and essays about jealousy .

“Social movements for good establish a mass platform of action for a population, which helps inform and cultivate the awareness necessary to help prevent an issue from affecting more people. True social movements for good have the power to generate awareness that produces tangible results, helping the general population live longer, more productive, happier lives.”

A social movement for good aims to bring social justice to an aggrieved community by calling for tangible support and resources. To accelerate a movement’s momentum, an effective leader must possess certain qualities in this essay.

“There were so many questions running through my head during this time. Why should I quit to make this my full-time job? Is this what I really want? When should I quit? Poet Mary Oliver’s words kept ringing in my head: ‘What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?’”

Deciding on a career change is more complex than deciding whether you want to do something different. A career shift entails lifestyle, mindset, and motivation changes, each of which has to be carefully reassessed and prepared for. This essay guides you in deciding when or why it is right to leave your job.

10 Interesting Writing Prompts on Essays About Change

Below are thought-stimulating prompts to help with your essay: 

Committing to regular exercise or getting to bed earlier may be easier said than done. Moreover, the determination that was burning at the start of your lifestyle change journey may wane in the latter part when things get tough. So, for your essay, provide practical tips from wellness experts and your own experience on how to sustain a routine toward a better lifestyle. You can split your essay into sections for each health and wellness tip you recommend.

This is the gist of the famous quote by Mahatma Gandhi: “be the change you wish to see in the world.” Unfortunately, many of us get frustrated over people refusing to change but fail to see how this change should start with our perception and action. In this essay, write about what an individual can do to focus more on self-improvement and development. 

Have you ever faced a situation where you had to adapt to a drastic change? It could be moving to a different city or school or dealing with losing a loved one. Share your experience and list the traits and practices that helped you through this challenging phase. You may also research what psychologists recommend people to do to keep from falling into depression or developing anxiety. 

To offer a unique highlight in your essay, tackle what your school or community is doing to fight global warming. Interview city councilors and mayors and learn about ongoing initiatives to keep the city clean and green. So this essay could help entice others in your community to work together and volunteer in initiatives to slow climate change.

List down the advantages and disadvantages technology has presented in your life. For example, seeking clarification from teachers about an assignment has been made easier with the many communication channels available. However, technology has also enabled a work-at-home or distance learning arrangement that is causing burnout in many households. 

Feature a person who has revolutionized the world. It could be a scientist, artist, activist, writer, economist, athlete, etc. Preferably, it is someone you idolize, so you do not have to start from scratch in your research. So first, provide a short profile of this person to show his life and career background. Then, write about their ultimate contribution to society and how this continues to benefit or inspire many. 

If there’s one thing you could change in this world, what would it be? This sounds like a question you’d hear in pageants, but it could be a creative way to lay down your life advocacy. So, explain why this is where you want to see change and how this change can improve others’ lives.

Resistance to change is most common when companies modernize, and the dinosaurs in the office refuse to learn new digital platforms or systems. Write about what you think leaders and human resource units should do to help employees cope with changes in the new normal.

A coming-of-age novel tells stories of protagonists who grow up and undergo character transformation. From being eaten up by their fears, the main heroes become braver and better at confronting a world that once intimidated them. For this prompt, share your favorite coming-of-age novel and narrate the changes in the hero’s qualities and beliefs. 

Delivering fast food has become so easy that, for many, it has become a way of life, making it an enormous challenge to replace this practice with healthy eating habits. So, research and write about nutritionists’ tips on creating a lifestyle and environment conducive to healthy eating habits.

If you’re still stuck picking an essay topic, check out our guide on how to write essays about depression . For more ideas, you can check out our general resource of essay writing topics .

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How to Introduce New Topics and Transition Effectively in Essays

Last Updated: July 2, 2024 Fact Checked

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This article was co-authored by Jake Adams . Jake Adams is an academic tutor and the owner of Simplifi EDU, a Santa Monica, California based online tutoring business offering learning resources and online tutors for academic subjects K-College, SAT & ACT prep, and college admissions applications. With over 14 years of professional tutoring experience, Jake is dedicated to providing his clients the very best online tutoring experience and access to a network of excellent undergraduate and graduate-level tutors from top colleges all over the nation. Jake holds a BS in International Business and Marketing from Pepperdine University. There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 90,425 times.

Most essays have multiple topics, and switching between them can get tricky. Without strong transitions and introductions to new points, your writing could seem choppy or unfocused. Luckily, making good topic introductions is easy! It just takes some planning, practice, and patience. Once you know the formula, you’ll be introducing new topics like a pro.

Effective Ways to Introduce New Essay Topics

• Introduce the topic with a transition word, like “Similarly” or “Likewise.”
• Use a contrasting transition word for clashing topics, like “However” or “Yet.”
• Give an overview of the topic you’re discussing after the introductory sentence.

• A strong outline includes your overall topic idea, planned thesis statement, essay structure, and the topics and themes you'll be covering in each section.
• Note on your outline when you're going to be introducing new topics. This helps you plan ahead and anticipate where you'll need transitions.

• If you've already started your paper, it never hurts to go back and write an outline anyway. This way, you can keep all your thoughts organized and give your essay more direction.

• For example, you may be writing a large paper about the Civil War, and the current section is about arguments over slavery. You can have one part on Southern arguments defending slavery, then transition to Northern arguments against slavery, since both topics are in the same section.
• Usually for a shorter paper, up to about 5-7 pages, you won’t need individual section headings. It’s fine to just transition from paragraph to paragraph in these cases.

• For example, if your paper is about the Civil War and you’re transitioning from arguments over slavery to the outbreak of the war, then it’s worthwhile to make a whole new section. These topics are related, but distinct and important enough to get their own sections.
• In another example, you might be writing a compare and contrast essay. It’s helpful to start a new section labeled “Differences” when you move from comparing to contrasting.
• Individual section headings are common in longer papers, around 15-20 pages or more. For long papers like this, it helps your reader stay focused.

• Similarly, in the same way, likewise, also, as well, and so too.
• For example, start a paragraph about slavery and the Civil War with, “In the same way that northern abolitionists were singularly focused on eliminating slavery, the Republican Party was concerned with stopping it from spreading into America's territories.”

• In contrast, however, nevertheless, yet, and still.
• For the Civil War example, arguments defending and criticizing slavery are completely different. To reflect that, you’d use a transition indicating disagreement. You could say “In sharp contrast to southern slave owners, northern abolitionists argued that enslaving a human being was evil in all circumstances.”

• If you’re showing contrast, you could say, “Yet King Arthur was destined to fail in his quest to find the Holy Grail.” This shows that the previous topic may have been about Arthur starting his quest, but now you’ll explain how he failed to accomplish it.
• You could also show similarity by saying “Similarly, Abraham Lincoln agreed that slavery was a moral evil.” This indicates that the new topic you’re introducing is related to and supports the previous one.

• You could also follow up on the King Arthur example with “In Arthurian stories, Arthur made numerous journeys to find the Grail, but never actually succeeded.” This tells the reader that the rest of the paragraph will include information on these failures.
• Using the Abraham Lincoln example, you could follow up your topic sentence with “Throughout his entire life, Lincoln saw the evils of slavery and spoke about stopping the practice.” This indicates that the paragraph will elaborate on this point and provide more details.

• For the King Arthur example, you can spend 2-4 sentences explaining Arthur's unsuccessful quests for the Grail. This supports your transition statement saying that Arthur failed to find the Grail.
• Make sure the details you fill in line up with your topic sentence. If your topic sentence said that Abraham Lincoln was anti-slavery, it wouldn’t be consistent to introduce examples of him supporting or praising slavery.

• A conclusion for your King Arthur paragraph could be “Hard as Arthur tried, he never found the Holy Grail.”
• Don’t introduce any new topics in the conclusion sentence. Save that for the topic sentence of the next paragraph if you want to add another topic.
• If you have a similar paragraph after this one, you can link them by giving a hint of where it's going. For example, you could conclude by saying "Abraham Lincoln's lifelong opposition to slavery naturally set him up for a career fighting the institution." Then make the next paragraph about Lincoln's political career. [12] X Research source

• You can use transitional language without a ton of detail. For example, “While Odysseus was glad to be home, there was trouble brewing in his kingdom.” This provides a strong transition, hints at the next topic, and gets the reader interested in continuing.

• For the Odysseus example, your previous section may have been about the events of The Odyssey . You could sum up the previous topic by saying “He had spent 20 years away from home—10 fighting the Trojan War and 10 on his journey back to Ithaca—and conquered every challenge that came his way.”
• Don’t spend too much time on this summary. Wrap it up within 2 sentences at most.

• You could give a quick introduction of how the suitors in the Odyssey had moved in to Odysseus’ home and would attack him when he arrived. This sets up the challenge and tension for this new topic, and sets the theme for this section of your essay.

• For the Odysseus example, a strong conclusion would be “Perhaps this was to be Odysseus’ greatest challenge yet.”
• In a more research-based paper, you can be less literary. For example, “In the end, the Constitutional Convention was a success, but only after the Framers overcame numerous challenges in the process.”

• It’s easier to plan your transitions if you outline your essay first. This way, you’ll know where you need to introduce new topics. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• If your professor or teacher mentions that your writing seems choppy, then you probably need to work on introducing new topics a bit more smoothly. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• If you still have trouble making strong transitions, take advantage of your school’s writing center if you have one. The tutors there can be a huge help. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/transitions/
• ↑ Jake Adams. Academic Tutor & Test Prep Specialist. Expert Interview. 24 July 2020.
• ↑ https://www.strose.edu/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Transition-Sentences-Handout-2012B.pdf
• ↑ https://monroecollege.libguides.com/c.php?g=589208&p=4072926
• ↑ https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/mechanics/transitions_and_transitional_devices/index.html
• ↑ https://www.sheffield.ac.uk/ssid/301/study-skills/writing/academic-writing/paragraph-flow-connectivity
• ↑ https://www.delmar.edu/offices/swc/_resources/Composition/topic-sentence-transition-formula.pdf
• ↑ https://writingcenter.fas.harvard.edu/pages/ending-essay-conclusions

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Home > Blog > Best Transition Words for Essays (With Examples)

Best Transition Words for Essays (With Examples)

• Smodin Editorial Team
• Updated: August 13, 2024
• General Guide About Content and Writing

Most essays require you to discuss more than one idea. However, transitioning into a new idea abruptly can be sudden and jarring for the reader. This is where transition words come in. Even if writing essays isn’t your strong suit , it’s pretty easy to learn how to use transition words and phrases.

So, what are transition words? They are words and phrases that show a link between two elements. They might show that you’re pivoting to a new topic, introducing new evidence, or summing up your points. They can even link paragraphs together with ease and improve your writing flow . Sprinkling these throughout your essay helps the reader understand your argument more clearly.

Essentially, transition words for essays are crucial to improve the flow of your writing. But you still need to know how to wield them effectively if you want top marks.

How to Use Transition Words in Essays

A transition word signals a change in your writing. You use them as part of transition sentences, which contain either two opposing topics or connect similar ideas.

You don’t need transition words in every sentence. Just re-read our introduction–not every sentence has one. Not even every paragraph has them! But including them throughout your work can really help the reader understand where they’re at in the text.

Consider this example:

• The experiment was successful. We decided to conduct further research.
• The experiment was successful. Therefore, we decided to conduct further research.

The second sentence highlights the connection between these two ideas. The connection could be contrasting ideas, similar ones, or a sequence. As a result, the reader understands a more logical flow within the text. Although the first sentence is still grammatically correct, it’s a little jarring.

And this is a crucial thing to note about transition words. Sometimes, the connection is obvious. Words and phrases like “however” and “for example” appear completely logically in the text. In the same way, sequential transition words like “first”, “next,” “last”, and so on are obvious choices. However, other transition words are less obvious–their primary goal is just to improve flow. They keep your writing organized.

Most transition words and phrases appear at the beginning of sentences, paragraphs, or clauses. Although, they can sometimes appear in other places, too.

It’s also worth noting that you need to choose the right transition word. Let’s explore some examples below.

Examples of Transition Words for Essays

Depending on the essay you’re writing, you might find that it calls for different transition words. Some transition words and phrases introduce new content ideas , while others highlight that two ideas are equally important.

In fact, you might need several of these types in any academic writing you do. Let’s explore eight types of transition words that you might need.

Transition Words for Contradictions

In many essays, you’ll need to weigh up an argument with a counter-argument. There are individual words and phrases that can highlight this contrast, moving from one idea to its opposing one.

Contradiction words include:

• On the other hand
• Nevertheless
• On the contrary

You can say something like:

• Conversely, an alternative method proved effective.
• However, this approach has its limitations.

This is great for analytical essays where you’re including a comparison.

Transition Words for Additions

Most essays require you to demonstrate your reasoning. As a result, you need to illustrate the evidence you have for a particular point. You might even need more than one point.

There are several transition words for this purpose:

• Additionally
• Furthermore
• In addition

You could say:

• Additionally, he brings a positive attitude alongside his skills.
• Furthermore, the research supports this conclusion

Both of these sentences can help you add onto your previous statement, hammering your idea home. Often, you can use these words to show that two ideas are equally important, too. It provides a simple addition, rather than making one seem more important than the other.

Transition Words for Introducing Examples

In the same way, there are other transition words that you can use specifically for examples. These are great (and easy) ways to introduce your evidence. They include:

• For example
• For instance

Your sentence might look like this:

• For example, the evidence illustrates that…
• Namely, adding elements like humor can engage readers.

It’s a good idea to write down a list of these that you can use throughout your essay. That way, you’re not using the same transition words throughout.

Transition Words for Conditions and Cause and Effect

Sometimes, a transition word can denote causality between two things. This is like the example we saw before, using “therefore.” These transition words are not always as obvious, but they can vastly improve the flow of your writing.

They include:

• Consequently
• As a result

If you’re writing a history essay or trying to show a consequence, these transition words are your best friends. Think of these example sentences:

• Therefore, it’s crucial to follow guidelines.
• Hence, the project was delayed.

Again, try writing these down to include throughout your essay.

Transition Words for Extra Clarification

The right transition word can also help you clarify your points or add emphasis. Often, it just takes a single word to change the meaning of your sentence and add some emphasis. For example:

• Undoubtedly

Often, these words and phrases are great for stressing the importance of a point you just made. For instance, you could say:

• Indeed, the findings are significant.
• Clearly, this approach is more effective.

Be careful how you use these transition words, though. Depending on how convincing your argument is, your reader might draw a different conclusion. So, don’t use words like “undoubtedly” unless you’re really sure!

Transition Words for Summarizing

At the end of your essay, you need to provide a summary of all your points. Launching straight into the conclusion can be sudden, which is why you need a transition word to announce the summary. Try these:

• In conclusion
• To summarize
• All things considered
• To conclude

All of these words are great for introducing the final paragraph. They show the reader that you’re about to recap your key points. You’ll often see sentences like this:

• In conclusion, the study supports the hypothesis.
• To summarize, the benefits outweigh the costs.

Adding these words or phrases is a great way to introduce your final analysis.

Transition Words for Time Relations

Whenever you read a recipe, you’ll find transitions that show time relationships. This is because recipes come in steps, where each point follows immediately after the previous. However, there are also other ways to use these transition words. First, let’s look at some of the options:

• Subsequently

Here are two examples of these words in use, one from a step-by-step and another from an essay:

• First, gather all the necessary materials.
• Subsequently, the researchers analyzed the data.

As you can see in the second example, you can use these transitions in analysis, too.

Transition Words for Series and Sequences

Sequential transition words are very similar to what we discussed previously. In fact, there’s some overlap. However, these words appear in an exact sequence:

• In the first place
• In the second place

And so on. You can use each one to illustrate where you are in a specific process. For example:

• First, we need to address the main issue.
• In the first place, the policy needs revision.

Again, you can use these for sequential events like recipes, but also to lead the reader through your argument. Remember, every essay should have a beginning, middle, and end. So, you can use transition words like this to signpost where you are in your argument.

How Smodin’s AI Writer Can Help with Transition Words

Still struggling with transition words and phrases? There’s a tool for that! Smodin’s AI writer can help you generate content in line with your ideas. It’s an advanced essay writing tool that writes academic papers to a high standard. And it seamlessly integrates transition words! By using a variety of single words and phrases, Smodin creates engaging text with a great flow.

Here’s an example:

• Without Smodin’s AI Writer: “Climate change is a pressing issue. Many countries are implementing green policies.”
• With Smodin’s AI Writer: “Climate change is a pressing issue; therefore, many countries are implementing green policies.”

And, Smodin’s AI writer meets rigorous academic standards. Compared to other generative AI tools, Smodin is far better for academic work. It has a much more specific database of high-quality academic work, allowing it to write texts of a similar grade.

This ensures that the transition words and phrases used are appropriate for formal writing. The tool understands the nuances of academic language, suggesting transitions that elevate the quality of your essay.

Key Features of Smodin’s AI Writer

Smodin has several key features that can help you create essays of high standard, such as:

• Enhanced Flow and Coherence: The AI suggests transition words that enhance the readability and logical flow of your essay.
• Contextual Suggestions: Based on the context of your writing, the AI provides suitable transition words and phrases.
• Tailored to Academic Standards: Smodin’s AI ensures that the transitions used are appropriate for academic writing, adhering to formal standards.

So what are you waiting for? See how Smodin’s AI writer can effortlessly enhance your essays through both structure and flow. With Smodin, you can get higher grades and a better understanding of your work.

Use the Best Transition Words for Essays

Using transition words in essays is crucial for creating a smooth and coherent flow of ideas. These words and phrases are the bridges that guide your readers through your arguments. Without them, it’s harder to understand the connections between different points. So, effective use of transition words not only improves the readability of your essay but also strengthens your overall argument.

Smodin’s AI Writer is an invaluable tool for incorporating transition words seamlessly into your essay. This advanced tool suggests contextually appropriate transitions, ensuring your essay flows logically and meets high academic standards.

Don’t let the challenge of finding the right transition words hinder your writing. Explore Smodin’s AI Writer to elevate your essay writing skills and produce top-quality academic papers. Perhaps you’re a student aiming for higher grades or a writer seeking to improve the flow of your work. Smodin’s AI Writer is here to help. Try Smodin today and experience the difference in your writing!

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• How to write an argumentative essay | Examples & tips

How to Write an Argumentative Essay | Examples & Tips

Published on July 24, 2020 by Jack Caulfield . Revised on July 23, 2023.

An argumentative essay expresses an extended argument for a particular thesis statement . The author takes a clearly defined stance on their subject and builds up an evidence-based case for it.

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Table of contents

When do you write an argumentative essay, approaches to argumentative essays, introducing your argument, the body: developing your argument, concluding your argument, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about argumentative essays.

You might be assigned an argumentative essay as a writing exercise in high school or in a composition class. The prompt will often ask you to argue for one of two positions, and may include terms like “argue” or “argument.” It will frequently take the form of a question.

The prompt may also be more open-ended in terms of the possible arguments you could make.

Argumentative writing at college level

At university, the vast majority of essays or papers you write will involve some form of argumentation. For example, both rhetorical analysis and literary analysis essays involve making arguments about texts.

In this context, you won’t necessarily be told to write an argumentative essay—but making an evidence-based argument is an essential goal of most academic writing, and this should be your default approach unless you’re told otherwise.

Examples of argumentative essay prompts

At a university level, all the prompts below imply an argumentative essay as the appropriate response.

Your research should lead you to develop a specific position on the topic. The essay then argues for that position and aims to convince the reader by presenting your evidence, evaluation and analysis.

• Don’t just list all the effects you can think of.
• Do develop a focused argument about the overall effect and why it matters, backed up by evidence from sources.
• Don’t just provide a selection of data on the measures’ effectiveness.
• Do build up your own argument about which kinds of measures have been most or least effective, and why.
• Don’t just analyze a random selection of doppelgänger characters.
• Do form an argument about specific texts, comparing and contrasting how they express their thematic concerns through doppelgänger characters.

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An argumentative essay should be objective in its approach; your arguments should rely on logic and evidence, not on exaggeration or appeals to emotion.

There are many possible approaches to argumentative essays, but there are two common models that can help you start outlining your arguments: The Toulmin model and the Rogerian model.

Toulmin arguments

The Toulmin model consists of four steps, which may be repeated as many times as necessary for the argument:

• Make a claim
• Provide the grounds (evidence) for the claim
• Explain the warrant (how the grounds support the claim)
• Discuss possible rebuttals to the claim, identifying the limits of the argument and showing that you have considered alternative perspectives

The Toulmin model is a common approach in academic essays. You don’t have to use these specific terms (grounds, warrants, rebuttals), but establishing a clear connection between your claims and the evidence supporting them is crucial in an argumentative essay.

Say you’re making an argument about the effectiveness of workplace anti-discrimination measures. You might:

• Claim that unconscious bias training does not have the desired results, and resources would be better spent on other approaches
• Cite data to support your claim
• Explain how the data indicates that the method is ineffective
• Anticipate objections to your claim based on other data, indicating whether these objections are valid, and if not, why not.

Rogerian arguments

The Rogerian model also consists of four steps you might repeat throughout your essay:

• Discuss what the opposing position gets right and why people might hold this position
• Highlight the problems with this position
• Present your own position , showing how it addresses these problems
• Suggest a possible compromise —what elements of your position would proponents of the opposing position benefit from adopting?

This model builds up a clear picture of both sides of an argument and seeks a compromise. It is particularly useful when people tend to disagree strongly on the issue discussed, allowing you to approach opposing arguments in good faith.

Say you want to argue that the internet has had a positive impact on education. You might:

• Acknowledge that students rely too much on websites like Wikipedia
• Argue that teachers view Wikipedia as more unreliable than it really is
• Suggest that Wikipedia’s system of citations can actually teach students about referencing
• Suggest critical engagement with Wikipedia as a possible assignment for teachers who are skeptical of its usefulness.

You don’t necessarily have to pick one of these models—you may even use elements of both in different parts of your essay—but it’s worth considering them if you struggle to structure your arguments.

Regardless of which approach you take, your essay should always be structured using an introduction , a body , and a conclusion .

Like other academic essays, an argumentative essay begins with an introduction . The introduction serves to capture the reader’s interest, provide background information, present your thesis statement , and (in longer essays) to summarize the structure of the body.

Hover over different parts of the example below to see how a typical introduction works.

The spread of the internet has had a world-changing effect, not least on the world of education. The use of the internet in academic contexts is on the rise, and its role in learning is hotly debated. For many teachers who did not grow up with this technology, its effects seem alarming and potentially harmful. This concern, while understandable, is misguided. The negatives of internet use are outweighed by its critical benefits for students and educators—as a uniquely comprehensive and accessible information source; a means of exposure to and engagement with different perspectives; and a highly flexible learning environment.

The body of an argumentative essay is where you develop your arguments in detail. Here you’ll present evidence, analysis, and reasoning to convince the reader that your thesis statement is true.

In the standard five-paragraph format for short essays, the body takes up three of your five paragraphs. In longer essays, it will be more paragraphs, and might be divided into sections with headings.

Each paragraph covers its own topic, introduced with a topic sentence . Each of these topics must contribute to your overall argument; don’t include irrelevant information.

This example paragraph takes a Rogerian approach: It first acknowledges the merits of the opposing position and then highlights problems with that position.

Hover over different parts of the example to see how a body paragraph is constructed.

A common frustration for teachers is students’ use of Wikipedia as a source in their writing. Its prevalence among students is not exaggerated; a survey found that the vast majority of the students surveyed used Wikipedia (Head & Eisenberg, 2010). An article in The Guardian stresses a common objection to its use: “a reliance on Wikipedia can discourage students from engaging with genuine academic writing” (Coomer, 2013). Teachers are clearly not mistaken in viewing Wikipedia usage as ubiquitous among their students; but the claim that it discourages engagement with academic sources requires further investigation. This point is treated as self-evident by many teachers, but Wikipedia itself explicitly encourages students to look into other sources. Its articles often provide references to academic publications and include warning notes where citations are missing; the site’s own guidelines for research make clear that it should be used as a starting point, emphasizing that users should always “read the references and check whether they really do support what the article says” (“Wikipedia:Researching with Wikipedia,” 2020). Indeed, for many students, Wikipedia is their first encounter with the concepts of citation and referencing. The use of Wikipedia therefore has a positive side that merits deeper consideration than it often receives.

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An argumentative essay ends with a conclusion that summarizes and reflects on the arguments made in the body.

No new arguments or evidence appear here, but in longer essays you may discuss the strengths and weaknesses of your argument and suggest topics for future research. In all conclusions, you should stress the relevance and importance of your argument.

Hover over the following example to see the typical elements of a conclusion.

The internet has had a major positive impact on the world of education; occasional pitfalls aside, its value is evident in numerous applications. The future of teaching lies in the possibilities the internet opens up for communication, research, and interactivity. As the popularity of distance learning shows, students value the flexibility and accessibility offered by digital education, and educators should fully embrace these advantages. The internet’s dangers, real and imaginary, have been documented exhaustively by skeptics, but the internet is here to stay; it is time to focus seriously on its potential for good.

If you want to know more about AI tools , college essays , or fallacies make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples or go directly to our tools!

• Ad hominem fallacy
• Post hoc fallacy
• Appeal to authority fallacy
• False cause fallacy
• Sunk cost fallacy

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• Write a College Essay
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An argumentative essay tends to be a longer essay involving independent research, and aims to make an original argument about a topic. Its thesis statement makes a contentious claim that must be supported in an objective, evidence-based way.

An expository essay also aims to be objective, but it doesn’t have to make an original argument. Rather, it aims to explain something (e.g., a process or idea) in a clear, concise way. Expository essays are often shorter assignments and rely less on research.

At college level, you must properly cite your sources in all essays , research papers , and other academic texts (except exams and in-class exercises).

Add a citation whenever you quote , paraphrase , or summarize information or ideas from a source. You should also give full source details in a bibliography or reference list at the end of your text.

The exact format of your citations depends on which citation style you are instructed to use. The most common styles are APA , MLA , and Chicago .

The majority of the essays written at university are some sort of argumentative essay . Unless otherwise specified, you can assume that the goal of any essay you’re asked to write is argumentative: To convince the reader of your position using evidence and reasoning.

In composition classes you might be given assignments that specifically test your ability to write an argumentative essay. Look out for prompts including instructions like “argue,” “assess,” or “discuss” to see if this is the goal.

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