what is a second person essay

For each of these questions, can you correctly identify which one uses the second-person narrative voice?

Question 1:

A: She walked slowly towards him.

B: You walked slowly towards him.

C: I walked slowly towards him.

The correct answer is: B. The pronoun "you" shows this sentence is in the second-person POV.

Question 2:

A: It’s hard for me to speak about it.

B: It’s hard for Tommy to speak about it.

C: It’s hard for you to speak about it.

The correct answer is: C. The pronoun "you" is used in both past and present tense writing.

Question 3:

A: Dip the chicken pieces into the breadcrumbs.

B: I dip the chicken pieces into the breadcrumbs.

C: Tracy dips the chicken pieces into the breadcrumbs.

The correct answer is: A. Although the pronoun "you" is not used in this sentence, it is implied. This is often seen in instruction writing.

Question 4:

A: Do I have enough money saved?

B: Does Sarah have enough money saved?

C: Do you have enough money saved?

The correct answer is: C. Rhetorical questions are often used by copywriters and generally written in second-person POV because they’re designed to make the reader think.

Question 5:

A: She is an adorable puppy. You want to take her home.

B: She is an adorable puppy. I want to take her home.

C: She is an adorable puppy. They want to take her home.

The correct answer is: A. Although the pronoun "she" is used in the first sentence, the second one reveals the narrative point of view using the pronoun "you".

It can be difficult writing in the second-person point of view and you should use it for a specific purpose rather than as a random choice. It’s very suited to some forms of writing such as copy, instructions, lyrics, and speeches. It’s far less commonly used in fiction writing, because it can feel unrealistic and is hard to maintain over a long period.

If you want to get published traditionally, writing in this narrative voice is generally not recommended unless your story can’t be written any other way.

Learning to write from a second-person perspective takes practice. Reading published examples and experimenting with switching the point of view of sentences will help you get used to using it.

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Helly Douglas

Helly Douglas is a UK writer and teacher, specialising in education, children, and parenting. She loves making the complex seem simple through blogs, articles, and curriculum content. You can check out her work at hellydouglas.com or connect on Twitter @hellydouglas. When she’s not writing, you will find her in a classroom, being a mum or battling against the wilderness of her garden—the garden is winning!

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Last updated on Jul 09, 2021

Second Person Point of View: Should Anyone Use It?

About the author.

Reedsy's editorial team is a diverse group of industry experts devoted to helping authors write and publish beautiful books.

About Martin Cavannagh

Head of Content at Reedsy, Martin has spent over eight years helping writers turn their ambitions into reality. As a voice in the indie publishing space, he has written for a number of outlets and spoken at conferences, including the 2024 Writers Summit at the London Book Fair.

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Author, editor, tutor, and bestselling ghostwriter. Tom Bromley is the head of learning at Reedsy, where he has created their acclaimed course, 'How to Write a Novel.'

When writing from the second person point of view, authors directly address the reader by using the pronoun ‘you’ — usually to transform the reader into a character, and draw them closer to the story. However, if ever there was a rule that most editors agree on, it’s this: don’t write a novel with a second person narrative .

In fact, that’s exactly the feedback Jay McInerney received when drafting Bright Lights, Big City . Written entirely in second person, this 1984 debut novel took the literary world by storm. But in the three decades since, its signature feat has rarely been replicated: indeed, it’s often cited as the exception that proves the rule  — it’s been done already, so don’t bother, okay?

Well, not so fast. In this post, Reedsy's experienced editors will be looking at some good reasons to consider the second person point of view — as well as dissecting why it's usually best to avoid.

If you want to determine which POV is right for you and your specific story , we recommend taking this quick 1-minute quiz below.

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Reasons to consider writing in second person

Despite the naysayers, several authors have dared to write a novel, chapter, or short story from the second person point of view. So what might they be trying to achieve? And why might you consider taking the risk yourself? 

1. To bring the reader closer to the story

When we talk about POVs, we often mention intimacy — in particular, how first person narratives tend to be more intimate than third person narratives .

“Well, second person is a cut closer than first person because readers actually are the character,” says Joel Bahr, a developmental editor at Amazon Publishing. “Even the minimal distance created between reader and character created by the phrase, “I thought" is refined further in second person. In this closer POV, there is no "I thought," but rather this is how you (we, really) think.”

In the example of Bright Lights, Big City , a level of immediacy and intimacy quickly emerges as the reader is thrust into the role of a serial cheater.

“There is no level of interpretation or justification. Consider if McInerney instead opted for first person, and we had: ‘I'm not the kind of guy who would do this, but I'm at a club…’

“In this instance, first person is inviting the reader to believe what they're telling them. Second person takes the ‘ask’ off the table. There is no debate about what kind of person you are or if these actions happened. You are, and they did, and we know that because there is no functional difference between the reader and the character.”

As Bahr hints, the second person narrator can bypass the ‘unreliability’ of first person narrators. When characters tell their own tales, we often wonder how the truth of the story might be filtered — either by their selective reporting or lack of 20-20 introspection. With a second person narrator, readers are told what to feel, think, and see — and they usually have no reason to doubt it.

A more recent example is N.K. Jemisin’s Hugo-winning The Fifth Season . Set on a dying world, the story is told from the viewpoints of three women, one of which is written from the second person point of view.

Reedsy editor Tricia Callahan worked on Jemisin’s book as a proofreader and sees it as a prime example of how this form can benefit a story.

“The second person POV brings the reader closer to the narrator, making the reading experience more intimate and less detached. When the narrator turns the reader into one of the characters, the story feels immediate and surrounding.”

Greater intimacy, however, is not the only result of this viewpoint.

2. To distance the narrator from their own experience

We’ve looked at how second person narration can bring readers closer to the story. But sometimes, it’s used to create a greater sense of distance between the true narrator and the story they’re telling — as editor Matthew Sharpe suggests is the case with Bright Lights, Big City .

“It's almost as if the narrator's conscience is writing the novel, and there's a bit of self-accusation there, like, ‘You screwed this up, then you screwed up this other thing,’ and so on.“

Similarly, you can see this level of detachment in Lorrie Moore’s Self-Help . “How to Be an Other Woman,” tells the story of a woman who has started an affair with a married man.

The protagonist is not meant to be you, the reader, or Moore, the writer. Rather, it’s a woman named Charlene — who also happens to be the narrator. The second person point of view serves to distance Charlene from the story she’s telling: we know she’s actually referring to herself, so we understand that her use of the displaced second person, rather than direct first person, is symptomatic of how hard it is for her to talk about what she's done. 

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3. To give the narrator someone to address

Now we’re entering a gray area. Some novels directly address the reader as a character — but they are not strictly written in the second person. Books that fall into this category include those that take the form of letters written by one character to another. These include works like Bram Stoker’s Dracula , Alice Walker’s The Color Purple , and Jay Asher’s Thirteen Reasons Why .

The effect of reading epistolary narrative is often a sense of voyeurism —  we feel as though we’re peering into the lives of others. The intention, in most cases, is to bring us closer to the characters, creating an almost conspiratorial relationship between narrator and reader.

This communication may not necessarily be in the form of letters, but rather speech. Mohsin Hamid’s The Reluctant Fundamentalist blurs the lines between first and second person in this way: the protagonist, a Pakistani man on the streets of Lahore, speaks to an American stranger — you, the reader. As the book progresses, we are given clues as to who ‘we’ are in the book and what role we might play in the story.

Unlike a straightforward first person viewpoint, this type of narrator may have some agenda with ‘us’ — something they want to convince us of or an attitude towards us. Cast in the story, we feel more involved in the discourse.

4. To reinforce the ideas that drive the story

Here’s a piece of advice from editor Kate Angelella: “If an author wanted to try writing in second person POV, I would encourage them to do so — so long as it's a purposeful choice. Is there a reason why this POV works best for your story, other than style and a desire to be literary with a capital L?”

Iain Banks’ Complicity contains two viewpoint characters: a journalist and a murderer, whose killings have been inspired by the journalist's writing. The chapters told from the murderer’s POV are in the second person.

Author and editor Tim Major points out that this choice of POV ties with the novel’s primary theme (which is spelled out in the title). “The second person perspective makes the reader complicit in the murders, experiencing them as if he or she is carrying them out, and therefore the reader is involved in a very unusual manner.”

This uncomfortable intimacy in the ‘killer’ chapters brings the reader into the headspace of the journalist — who himself is dealing with this acute sense of complicity.

So, there are a few of the major reasons you might want to consider writing in the second person. But now we’ve seen the effects of second person point of view, let's address the elephant in the room.

Why you probably shouldn’t do it

In the opinion of almost every editor we spoke with, writing a novel in the second person is a bad idea 99.9% of the time. Here are some of the reasons they give.

It can be a lot to ask of your reader

“In second person, I think it's crucial to consider what spaces you're asking the reader to occupy intimately, and how you're going to get them to suspend their disbelief. Sometimes, it's actually an increased distance between the character and the reader that can cultivate the empathy you need.”

— Ashley Strosnider

It may hurt your chances of finding representation

“It is becoming increasingly difficult to secure a literary agent and get a publishing deal if you are a new author. If that is your dream, don’t create any extra barriers for yourself that might put industry professionals off publishing your novel.”

— Amy Durant

It works better in short stories than in novels

“An entire novel told through second person can become wearying, especially when the protagonist of the story is unpleasant, as is the case in Bright Lights, Big City . For this reason, you may find that a second person narrative works better for short fiction .”

— Kristen Stieffel

All that said, remember that this is your book. Maybe you intend to self-publish, or you don't mind limiting your potential audience, and are therefore less beholden to commercial expectations. Maybe your story just can't be told in any other way. If that describes your experience, then, by all means, ignore the naysayers. Take a deep breath, and dive into writing from the second person point of view.

If, on the other hand, the potential rewards don’t outweigh the risks, head back to our post on first person POV, or go on to the next post to learn more about writing in third person. 

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3 responses

Wesley says:

06/07/2019 – 18:27

Really? The very fact that this article encourages writers NOT to use the second person viewpoint gives me even more reason to do it. The argument "it's already been done, so don't bother" is the most discouraging thing anyone could ever say to an artist. It's like saying there are plenty of books out there, so don't bother writing another one. Where would we be if every writer followed this dictum? The fact that second person is so rarely used is even more reason to explore it. Self-insert or second person POV stories have a dedicated following in some online communities, specifically fan fiction. What if writers were to expand upon what makes this such a popular choice in these circles and bring it to a broader literary community? I think there is so much potential for exploring second person POV, and feel a little bitter that this article leans so strongly towards discouraging this viewpoint. Please, don't give artists who already have a hard time creating and gaining recognition for their work yet another reason to doubt themselves!

Linda says:

13/08/2019 – 23:47

Second person has worked really well for me in flash fiction. Really, the whole article seems a bit discouraging.

Sasha Anderson says:

31/05/2020 – 11:28

Another example of second person viewpoint that I often see mentioned is in choose-your-own-adventure books - a different style of book, certainly, but still a work of fiction...

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Why You Should Try Writing in Second Person

by Melissa Tydell | 175 comments

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Fiction writers tend to depend on first person or third person point of view —you’ve been there, done that. But what about writing in second person ? It may seem strange, unconventional, or confining, but playing with point of view is one way to transform a story.

Point of view affects a story in that it offers readers a very specific perspective of the story events. Second person narration is no different. In this post, let's define second person point of view and then talk about three reasons why you should try writing in second person.

What is second person point of view?

Second person point of view is when you tell the story from the perspective of someone else– the reader. It's like being a fly on the wall as someone else experiences something. You're not in their head, but rather observing and narrating their actions and feelings from outside of them.

It can be a bit tricky to write in because it requires that you take on a different narrative voice and be conscious of the words that you use. It assumes a sense of intimacy as you direct the reader.

Questions about point of view? Check out our full guide here .

How do you know something is written in second person POV?

It will use second person pronouns to capture the action: you, your, yours. It projects the action and thoughts of the reader in an immersive experience.

Here's an fiction example from Margaret Atwood's short story “Bread”:

Imagine a piece of bread. You don't have to imagine it, it's right here in the kitchen, on the breadboard, in its plastic bag, lying beside the bread knife. The bread knife is an old one you picked up at an auction; it has the word BREAD carved into the wooden handle. You open the bag, pull back the wrapper, cut yourself a slice.

Notice how the Atwood tells you the reader what you see and how you're acting. She puts you inside the story as the second person narrator.

Why try writing in second person?

Here are three reasons:

1. Second person pulls the reader into the action.

Especially if you write in the present tense, second person allows the reader to experience the story as if it’s their own. To avoid a “choose your own adventure story” feel or an aggressive tone, mix up sentence structure and add in description and dialogue. Using the second person pronoun “you” and describing action as it happens supplies a personal sense of immediacy or urgency, propelling the story—and the reader—forward.

Example: You’re late. Heart pounding, you race up the stairs as the train enters the station. With a deep breath, you weave around the slow-moving people milling on the platform and dash towards the train, throwing your body through the doorway with only a moment to spare.

Notice how the sensory experience is heightened here for the reader because the narrative perspective projects the action on you.

2. Second person gets personal.

One way to experiment with second person is to write as if the story is a letter from the narrator to “you,” reflecting on past events and current feelings, asking questions. (It doesn’t have to be in an actual letter form; the idea of a letter is simply a way to describe the intimate tone.)

This technique isn't necessarily “pure” second person POV, as it pairs “you” with the narrator’s first-person point of view, but it allows you to dip a toe in the second-person perspective. At the same time, it gives readers a peek into a relationship, a memory, and a character’s emotions.

Example: You told me to meet you at the bar. Things hadn’t been going well, but I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly was wrong. Did you plan on breaking my heart that night? We locked eyes as I walked through the entrance, and I knew things were coming to an end.

3. Second person stretches your skills and surprises readers.

Because it’s not often used, the second person point of view can feel fresh to readers. And for writers, it means a new way of telling a story, a different way of revealing character. In this way, it offers a new perspective for writers and readers alike.

Second person might not be the right fit for every story. (And there are always readers who don't love second person for fiction writing!) But it's worth the time to play with the voice and urgency that second person narratives require, if for no other reason than to expand your writing prowess.

Second person writing and your choice of perspective

Choosing your viewpoint character matters because it dictates how your reader will experience the story. A second person POV story blurs the lines between story and personal experience in a way that can be interesting and maybe uncomfortable.

But if you are after an engaging experience, and you can carefully curate the second person voice in a way that resonates with readers, a second person narrative voice may be a choice that transforms your next story. Give it a try and let us know how it goes!

Need help deciding on your point-of-view? Unsure about the differences between first-person, third person limited and third person omniscient perspectives? Read our full article on Point of View and download our handy POV cheatsheet here . 

Have you written a story in the second person point of view? Tell us how it went in the comments . 

Write for fifteen minutes in the second person point of view.

When you’re finished, please share your practice in the Pro Practice Workshop . And if you post, please respond to some of the other comments too!

Melissa Tydell

Melissa Tydell is a freelance writer, content consultant, and blogger who enjoys sharing her love of the written word with others. You can connect with Melissa through her website , blog , or Twitter .

• Melissa Tydell https://thewritepractice.com/author/melissatydell/ July 29, 2013 What I’ve Learned from Writing for The Write Practice
• Melissa Tydell https://thewritepractice.com/author/melissatydell/ July 15, 2013 How to Write about a Time of Anticipation
• Melissa Tydell https://thewritepractice.com/author/melissatydell/ July 1, 2013 How to Integrate Travel into a Story
• Melissa Tydell https://thewritepractice.com/author/melissatydell/ June 3, 2013 What is the Most Satisfying Part of Writing?

175 Comments

For a few poems I wrote lately, I used both the pure 2nd person narration and the one described in #2. I’m submitting one of them to my school newspaper, since I already used the other one for a school assignment.

Very cool! Glad to hear you’re already experimenting with this POV.

The beginning of a memoir, of which an agent said 120 pages in the second person was too much. I’m still torn on whether to take the advice into account. If you like it theres more here- theransomletters.wordpress.com

Anyone who has ever had their heart shit on, enjoyed needle drugs, or rotted away in sub-Saharan Africa just might have witnessed things, and could have something worthwhile to say. Worth what I haven’t the faintest idea. This is a story, it could be mine or it could be yours. In all reality it is of little significance, the Africa part, because you and I both know a new town is a discovery and a new place in which to repeat old habits, like placating unchecked impulse, living beyond your means, or spending other peoples’ money.

This could be you if you have a penchant for travel. If you have ever reveled in foreign lands during sunsets with him or her around your arm. If you have ever lusted over others’ lives for alternative endings than festering in this hot room. If you have ever fucked around with someone else’s significant other to this end. So you have fucked someone over too. No doubt you have promised yourself you would never do it again, ambling home at sun-up, when the heartbreaking purity of birds chirping made you feel like dirt. This is you if you are going through a midlife crisis at 30. Don’t fret; you’ll only make it to 60.

You are a filthy traveler. Whichever came first, the road or the dirt, is of little importance- low standards can get you further in life than you would imagine. Further, because you wish to lose yourself in the ways of other countries, and translate your thoughts into numerous languages until you no longer understand them. You, traveler without a choice, you are not one for a guide book or youth hostels. No, guide books are like coloring books for experience, and for hostels, well all the flag flapping makes it hard to get any forgetting done. What’s more, it is unworkable to smoke exotic drugs without alerting several bunk mates with conservative tendencies.

You travel with a knife. You travel for life because of a fear of boredom. You don’t wish to go home because you can’t write letters there. You drink too much in certain cultures but you avoid those places. Yet you have been there; In some other Himalayas and meditating. It was just another experience in life, one of the infinite choices that made it impossible to choose ONE, like a kid in a candy shop. You see, this could be you.

Oscillating desires pave dead end roads. I’ll meet you at the end of any given one at any given time. Perhaps you are my age and possibly you are not. What proceeds is a tale of an ageless idiot, or God’s divine creation, it is incumbent on how you look at it. You be the judge of God’s divine creation…

Nice work. I found it quite rich, in the sense of having a lot packed into a relatively small number of words – that’s a great thing in a small piece like a short story, less so in a longer piece. I wonder if that is inherent in the 2nd person approach, it will always be more intense just because it is so personal? FWIW, I tend to agree with your agent – keeping this up for too long is very hard work.

I love the third paragraph here. You made a point there that I think is hard to make in writing “low standards can get you further in life than you would imagine” What a thing to say. Well done!

Not exactly “If on a Winter’s Night…” but here goes:

You’ve been out. Nowhere special, just some routine errands. A trip to the shops to get food for tonight’s dinner, maybe. Or perhaps you had a very important letter to post, and had to go to the Post Office to buy a stamp before dropping the letter in the box outside. It could even be that it was something more important, like a visit to the doctor to receive some test results that you have been worrying about for the last week.

Whatever. It’s done now, and you have come back home. You got your key from the place where you keep it, put it in the lock, and let yourself in. There is the familiar and yet still irritatingly urgent beeping of the burglar alarm, you have just thirty seconds to enter the correct code before all hell lets loose. You don’t want that to happen, not today at any rate, so you punch the right buttons and the system gives a little chirrup to let you know that all is well.

You shut the front door and there, stuck in the letter box, is today’s post. You take it out, and the spring on the flap does its thing and closes up the gap with a snap. No fingers caught today, happily. You examine the post, it doesn’t look very exciting. There is a flyer for a pizza delivery service, and from someone who seems to be very keen to clean your carpets. This looks like a bill, it can go in the pile with all the others. Another one is from a charity, you gave them some money once when your uncle died because it was his charity, now they won’t leave you alone. But no real post, nobody writes letters anymore.

Once upon a time people did write letters. You can remember getting them from your parents if you were visiting somewhere, maybe staying with a distant aunt for the summer so that you could get a change of scenery and they could get a rest. You also recall having to write “thank you” letters whenever you received a gift. But no longer.

Today people write emails, perhaps you will have better luck there. So you take off your coat and hang it on the hook, which really looks like it will fall off the wall any day now, you really ought to get round to mending that. You go into your office, where the computer is, and switch it on.

As it starts, there is a big swoosh of air as the fans start up, almost as if it is clearing its lungs before having to say something very important. Then, after a little longer, the screen bursts into life and the little coloured icons appear. One of them is for your email program, so you click that. For some reason you’ve never understood you have to click it twice – why is that, why once for some things and twice for others? You think they make this deliberately difficult, to keep ordinary people like you out of this special place.

You have mail! Not too much spam today, that’s a good thing. But no personal messages either, just the electronic equivalent of the circulars that you’ve just had through your letter box. Ah, what’s this, a message from The Write Practice? An invitation to write a piece in the second person? What a silly idea, you’d never dream of doing such a thing.

Nicely done! I felt like I was stepping through your morning with you, or were you stepping through mine? The “you” perspective really shakes it up!

Well, this is just brilliant. I love the feeling of this piece, the observations of everyday life. And the ending is perfect, of course.

Very clever. I loved how you brought the minutia of life into brilliant focus. Great job.

Wahaha, I loved the end of your story! What a clever little twist. 🙂 I really like all the little details you put in to make it seem like an average day, I’m a huge fan of details – I think they can make a good story a really great one.

Ha! This kind of irritated with life person who expects little things to go wrong it well appreciated by this reader. I like the part where the computer takes a breath before busting to life. Fun read thanks.

For a great example of how this can be executed without coming off as cheesy, check out chapter 10 (“out of body”) of Jennifer Egan’s Pulitzer Prize winning novel, A Visit From the Goon Squad.

It’s weird that you posted this today because I’ve been toying with this very concept. A few panels I’ve attended lately have said this can’t be done effectively (except for Bright Lights, Big City and role play books) so I took it as a challenge. I’ve had an idea that I’ve been exploring, just to prove them wrong, but I keep sneaking in an occasional “I” every now and then. Once it’s polished, though, I plan on submitting it somewhere. I am concerned, though, that it won’t be well received just because it’s a second person POV. The panels suggest that some people won’t even read second person POV stories. Have you found that to be true?

Perhaps someone else can chime in re: submissions, but I think using second person is a challenge so when it’s done well, it’s spectacular. There are plenty who say to avoid it, but hey, it’s there to play with — might as well get creative!

Thanks. I am trying one now. It’s challenging, but kind of fun.

I just read the short essay “Welcome to Holland” by Emily Perl Kingsley for the first time, yesterday. I can’t stop thinking about it, and now I know why. It’s written in the 2nd person!

At midnight, when you are filled with manicotti and yellow cake, you will vow to diet tomorrow. You will feel the dimpled flesh of your thighs, as spongy as your Tempurpedic mattress, and feel shame. Remember the summer you wore the blue bikini? Remember the way your hair, even tied in a high pony tail, fell past your shoulders? Remember the boys who gathered round you, their eyes drinking you in? You’ll want to feel that way again. The thighs, I’m sorry to tell you, are keeping you from it.

There are three heart-shaped boxes in your pantry, each rummaged through, the caramels now gone, the strawberry creams bitten once and shoved back into their fluted wrappers. By nine on the following morning you’ll be eyeing those boxes, the Valentine candy you bought for yourself, even though it’s still January.

By ten, you will have eaten every last piece. It would make sense to cry here, but you won’t. Instead, you will rise, walk to your Viking stove that’s the same blue as your old bikini. You will pull butter from the refrigerator, and mushrooms and Asiago cheese. You’ll grab the bottle of cooking sherry and two T-bone steaks wrapped in white paper.

The flame on the Viking will also glow blue, and you will stare into it, your cast iron skillet in your hand, so heavy you almost drop it. You’ll let the skillet grow hot on the flame, then add a stick of butter. The mushrooms, you’ll rinse them once and then throw them in whole, and they’ll sizzle in the browning butter, the sound like thunder on this quiet morning. By the time the steaks go in, you’ll be an artist, using food as your paint. The blue Viking is your canvas, the sky, the color of the night Grady took you to his bed, his hands quick, his breathing sharp.

The apron you’ll wear has the image of a fifties housewife on the front. She is holding a cupcake. The caption reads: It Ain’t Gonna Lick Itself. You bought it on a whim, feeling frisky, but Grady didn’t like it. He said it was cheap, like your dyed red hair, so you put it away.

But he is gone now, isn’t he? You can imagine him, his arm around that heartbreakingly thin girl he met at work. Take heart. She has problems of her own. The kind that will make your dimpled thighs seem like a Sunday school picnic. And when he thinks of you, it is always the way you looked on that first night, your breasts like full moons, your shoulders pale as the white sheets as he lowered himself to you, like a man giving into the sea.

Very cool to see the use of second person with future tense, especially as it’s contrasted with the memories of the past — an effective way to get that sense of nostalgia and regret across.

I agree! Excellent job working the tenses, Marla. Always a struggle for me. Plus, you made me wish I had mushrooms in the house.

Thanks so much.

Marla, even though I’m a guy, I could resonate with so much of your story. You had my attention with your first sentence. I make those vows nightly in between burps. I loved your description of the Valentine candy. I thought I was the only one who ate the caramels first and left the strawberry creme until I was truly desperate. The whole story felt so real and full of regret. Great job!

Thank you Tom. Glad we agree on chocolates!

Great writing as usual Marla. I have a bikini in mine too. Well great minds and all that ; ).

I promise your mind was much greater than mine today! I love your story.

I love this piece. Quite a few of the lines are really very poetic.

Sad and sumptuous all at once. I like it.

I can imagine the imagery that came to you as you wrote this. What a delicious discovery! I like the Viking blue, and the retro 50’s picture. I also like the humor and poignancy of this: (She has problems of her own. The kind that will make your dimpled thighs seem like a Sunday school picnic.) Great practice!

Wow. Sadly, this piece makes me wish I had chocolate in the house.

Very well done!

This is awesome! I love it.

Wow… this is quite beautiful, you explore such an interesting subject and the style in the piece really just draws the reader in.

Marla, this is fantastic. It’s ferocious and mixes action with daydream, that sense of recall – the last lines, “And when he thinks of you, it is always the way you looked…” felled me. Thank you for sharing. LOVE it.

The cold morning air scratches your throat with each labored breath. It is as if you are swallowing a handful of thumb tacks or maybe a really strong and bad shot of tequila with each gasp. This is not the thick coastal air you are used to breathing. This is the least of your problems though…

The ridge looms ahead and above you taunting you with every glance. Already you are at 12,000 feet in elevation, the ridge is another 1,000 feet of elevation gain and appears to be perfectly vertical. Doubts flood your mind – you will not make it, your body is strong enough, why didn’t you choose the Caribbean vacation instead? Not only is your mind working against you, your head throbs with each beat of your heart. Your lungs cannot be satisfied with normal breaths. Your thighs and calves are throbbing and seem to be in perpetual cramps. And to top it all off, the three blisters on each foot have popped and have now become open wounds. Your options are this: you can quit and go back down to the comfort of the Holiday Inn, you can lay down and die, or you can trudge on.

You trudge on. One painful, ascending step after another.

After an hour of struggle you come to the top of the ridge that connects Bard Peak and Sliver Plume Mountain. You are so stunned at what you see that your physical ailments become a memory! On the far eastern horizon are Mount Evans and Mount Bierstadt, connected by the ominous Sawtooth Ridge. As you pan to the south and west the twin peaks of Grays and Torreys appear so close that perhaps you could walk to them in fifteen minutes. Farther to south and west are the peaks of the Tenmile and Mosquito Ranges. Farther still to the south and west are the northern peaks of the Sawatch Range forming the right side of your panorama. Vast, beautiful, overwhelming – all three understating what you see and feel. Every gasp, throb, ache, blister, and hardship seem an inconsequential price to pay for standing at this place.

That’s great, David. I was exhausted after the first paragraph. I recalled how my wife and i climb squaw peak in Phoenix. It’s only a mile and a half up, but it wears me out. Thanks for helping me imagine climbing a real mountain without actually having to do it.

That as lovely. It reminds me of why people enjoy mountain climbing.

You captured this perfectly!

If you drove past the red roofed barn where daylight shutters through the wooden planks, you would never guess what lies in the forest glade. If you stopped your car beside the field of wild daisies, just past the crumbling silo, you would notice the cow path that leads into the woods. But unless you got out of your car and walked along the hoof-pocked path, you would never know about the small clearing in the woods. You would never know that bones lay on the moss beside the dry creek bed in the field of ferns.

But if you arrived at the right moment, and hid behind the outcrop of rocks, you would see Carl kneeling in the field of ferns, severing the leg off of the wounded cat. You would see him wrapping it in the burlap sack, tying it behind the saddle, and galloping away on his horse.

If you happened to run into Carl at the Thirsty Cow on a Friday night, you might hear his stories about scooping up the road kill. The job no one wants. The job you don’t even know exists until there is a deer carcass sprawled feet from your front door. You don’t know there is someone to call for this until the turkey vultures are circling and perching and tearing maggoty flesh from the deer’s bones.

You could move it yourself, but you’re worried about disease, Lyme, parasites, and the smell. The smell becomes a constant presence in your home, it lives in your teeth because it doesn’t matter if you try not to breathe through your nose. You still smell it inside your mouth. It coats everything, and you start cleaning even though it won’t help.

Nothing will help until Carl comes and scoops the carcass into his wooden paneled truck. Only then does the stench slowly recede from your doorstep. You don’t think about where it goes after this. You can’t imagine the place where it goes, bone upon bone, scavengers of the sky and soil desecrating what’s left of that life, the white tail once bobbing over fences.

But this is his job, and if you saw Carl on a usual day, tossing a dear carcass, you would know this cat is different. You would hear him cry and whisper “Annie” into the wind.

That one’s going to haunt me for a while. Poor Carl! Great job.

Very powerful! I can still smell the rotting carcass. The last sentence is very moving. Great job!

Wow!!! That was amazing. I like the words “hood pocked” at the beginning. What is up with the cat though. Why is he crying and whispering to “Annie” at the end if he cut the legs off of a wounded (I assume it’s not dead because you said wounded) cat. It’s either very creepy if he’s some kind of cat torturer or very sad if Annie was a pet and when you wrote wounded you also meant that she was dead.

I agree with Marianne, I was a little confused with the cat as well. But this is a great piece Plum 🙂 It creeped me out a little, that line about the smell living in your (my) teeth…ugh!! Great practice!!

Unfortunately, a deer died behind my house after coyotes attacked it. It took a long time to find the source of the smell, and even longer for the turkey vultures to finally leave.

Oh my God, that’s horrible. No wonder the images were so vivid, you lived it.

Thanks for your comments Marianne! There’s more to the cat story, but I should have left it out for the purposes of the practice, or developed it more. I appreciate the feedback.

That goes to show how just a sentence or two can make a big difference in a readers perception of a character.

Fantastic! You used 2nd person perspective very naturally. I was there.

Wow! I love the line about the smell getting in your teeth. Carl is a great character.

I love the ‘if’ on top of ‘if’ construction that draws you in. Good stuff.

Thanks so much everyone! I’ve been tossing Carl around for awhile, but never really thought of second person. It was fun to see him differently.

I guess that’s why I like the book “Fight Club” so much. Really puts you in the moment, makes you feel connected to the writer. It’s also why I liked “Choose Your Own Adventure” books back in the day. lol

You walk among the half-naked children who surround you begging for money and food. Your soft eyes sparkle in comparison to their dark eyes of want. Your mouth quivers an uncomfortable smile as you contemplate your next move. You know if you reach your hand into your bag, a dozen more slum kids will surge towards you, creating a tidal wave of desperation. You have more than you can ever use, so it only makes sense to pay it forward to these innocents of poverty and heartache.

You look up and notice your tour group seeking respite on the bus. The stench and the flies are just too much. Your once-compassionate eyes begin to glare in disgust and panic as one-by-one your tour mates step into the air conditioned coach, leaving you with an ever expanding mob. Your breathing accelerates as your heart begins to pound. It feels as if it might explode. You see the doors of the tour bus begin to close and you yell out in terror.

“Wait! Stop,” you scream out over the clamor.

Shooing the kids from your personal space, you make your way to the bus. You hear the children crying and you don’t even turn to wave goodbye.

I think that was one of the best things I’ve read by you Tom. It was very immediate. I was there. Well done.

Great transformation here, Tom. Good writing.

You would feel like the little you could give would never be enough. I get it. Convicting and thought provoking.

I’ve wanted to do this for a long time. I think you’ve convinced me to take the leap.

Awesome — you should definitely go for it!

Sorry for the few cuss words at the end but she said them, not me.

You’re walking the boardwalk in a pink bikini. Your toenails are painted lavender. You have a killer tan. Everybody’s watching you except the blind and maybe they are getting some kind of idea of how totally cool you are.

It’s a good day; breezy and not packed tight with tourists. There’s a problem though. It’s that old Greek you worked for. He said that you’re “a criminal”, says you have a “bad mind”. But there’s nothing wrong with your brain. You’ve always been sexy and guys like to buy stuff for you like dinner, and records and jewelry and rides on the roller cooster. What’s wrong with that?

You hear Joe Cocker singing from a loudspeaker. That means you’re near the Beach Club where you worked for that stupid Greek. You need to pee and your feet are getting hot from walking barefoot. The Beach Club has a bathroom. The Greek said he’d call the cops if you came back in the club. He says you stole money from the register. Prove it man, you think.

Inside it’s dark and chilly. You take off your shades to find the bathroom. It’s dirty, with a wet floor, a pine sol smell, and no toilet paper. There’s some cool graffiti though, coolest grafitti at the beach. You started it with “psychedelic drugs sold here” in smooth, even handwriting. It’s hard to write on a metal door with a can opener but you got it right. Some of the other girls used lipstick, but not you. You made a permanent impression. People don’t forget you.

You get to the cocktail bar without running into the Greek. You don’t care if he sees you or not. What’s he going to do anyway?

You see a surfer dude at the bar so you move in. He smells good, like coconut suntan lotion. You bump into him and say “Oh sorry.”

He smiles, so you kind of look at the bar, like you might be thinking about a beer. He doesn’t offer to buy, so you bend over the bar, grab a glass, hold it under the spigot, and hit the Bud lever. It’s hard to do that from the outside of the bar but you’re a great bartender, freaky fast. The real bartender sees you and tells you to pay. You say you forgot your purse and look at the surfer. He pays for the beer and says he’s going to the bathroom. He doesn’t come back. You figure he must be a queer.

Then the Greek shows up, calls you a bum and asks you to leave. You want to say he’s a stupid son of a bitch, but you just chug your beer and head out. There’s another bar in the next block and your feet have cooled down. You shouldn’t have lowered yourself to work there anyway. There are classier places to work but you felt sorry for the Greek and took the job at his crappy club.

He took advantage of you for sure. That’s how people are. You do them favors and they give you back nothing but a bunch of shit.

Wow, Marianne! That poor girl appears to be stuck in her own world of denial and self-sabotage. I felt the angst of her frustration and pitiful coping skills, yet there was still something about her that made her likable and caused me to root for her. Great job!

Thanks Tom. I might use her again. She seems to have made an impression. I hate characters like this in a way though because I just don’t see her getting better but you can never tell what will happen once you start writing.

My gosh, Marianne. This is so good! I love this line. “Everybody’s watching you except the blind and maybe they are getting some kind of idea of how totally cool you are.”

I felt like I was right there with this girl. What a great character. Love, love, love this.

Thanks Marla. I kind of like her. She reminds me of some of the people I waitressed with at the beach when I was young.

This is a perfect use of second person, Marianne! It gets you into the skin of a character that you might otherwise despise, but since you *are* her you feel a little empathy. Fantastic work.

I agree Abigail, instead of thinking this character was a real pill, I kind felt more like she was making excuses for her behaviour, and I can sympathize with that.

I agree about her making excuses.

Thanks it was kind of an accusatory way to write. Weird.

Second person was great here, can’t resist sympathising with character while at the same time being informed of her less-than-noble thoughts. Reminded my of the chapter on character Tralala (a bratty prostitute) in Last Exit to Brooklyn.

Wow that’s quite a compliment. I haven’t read “Last Exit to Brooklyn” but did read “Requiem for a Dream”. It was so sad I couldn’t finish it but the characters although very different from anyone in my life were well done in an unusual way. I wonder if it’s the second person that makes us sympathetic. It’s like someone it telling the reader what happened and most people are inclined to be sympathetic (at first anyway) to other people’s problems. You gave me a lot to think of here. Thank you.

This young lady surely has it all figured out. I love that about beach bums. I like the description of the salty bathroom. Second person works here because we’ve all known someone like this. Good characterization here. I liked it.

Thank you for reading and commenting.

So good, Marianne!

Thanks Juliana

You didn’t want to talk to me, was that it? Were you angry? Did your love run out?Why were you so exhausted? I can keep your secrets. I kept your smoking from daddy because we both knew how every 5 second drag would hurt him. It crushes him seeing you so blue. Do you even realize that? You were suppose to spend the rest of your lives together. You were suppose to die for each other. Why are you hurting him? Unless it was a dream. This could be a dream right? You would never do anything like that. I know you couldn’t. You only kept your smoking from daddy so he wouldn’t be upset and you only didn’t tell him about that one time you kissed Uncle Robert in the car so he wouldn’t leave us. You did that for us. I know you did. You’re not evil. You’re just pretending. I know you are, but I don’t wanna play anymore, mommy. This game is lonely. Please come back. You’re not a bad mommy. You’re just pretending.

Wow! Powerful writing. I like the excuses that keep coming up here.

Thank you so much!

Oh, this is so sad. It sounds like a a little kid talking. Great writing.

Yes! You picked up on it. Thank you so much for that!

You’re welcome. Thank you for bringing the child’s perceptive to light. Children so rarely have voices.

This is a good idea and well written. It would be better without the last few lines if it were part of a longer piece. I can see that you need to include that here because we are not going to read further but I can see this narrator as one of multiple narrators in a novel (of even a short story although I know it’s sacrilege to consider multiple narrators in a short story).

Wow. I had to read this twice. Very insightful. Of course, little children lead us. Good job.

Thank you very much!

I haven’t read anything quite as entertaining or helpful. Great real examples and a good set of practice. I haven’t written a second person story before – but look to add it to one of my daily practice sessions.

Yes, these exercises are fun. One of my very favorite stories is written in second person–How to Talk to a Hunter by Pam Houston. I highly recommend checking it out!

“You are a bad lover.”

You’re half-asleep next to my Robert when you hear this. It wakes you up because even though it’s a whisper, it’s also really loud. This detail freaks you out, and you’re already pretty damn freaked out by a mystery voice insulting you at four in the morning – not to mention the fact that it seems to know quite a lot about your sexual skills. The weird thing is, this voice sounds kind of familiar to you. You’ve been hearing it every night for the last month and yet you still can’t quite place it. And every night there’s a new insult. Yesterday you were a fat queen. Last week, you were a second-rate squash player, a premature ejaculator and the worst cook in the whole world. You take a deep breath and tell yourself that you’ve been working too hard, that you should start yoga again, that you should take a trip to the lake cabin with him this weekend. You close your eyes and try to go back to sleep but you can’t.

In the morning you leave him sleeping and get in the shower. You’re soaping up your pot belly and humming some irritating song, trying to shake the sleepless night. But suddenly you get the feeling that someone’s watching you. So you grab the shower curtain and pull it around you but you do this so fast that you trip and fall out of the shower. Again you hear that whispering voice that’s also inexplicably loud. You think it says, “Loser” but you’re not sure because you’ve just banged your head on your expensive sink.

Then you drive too fast and you look in the rear-view mirror too often. You are sweaty. You turn left before the Jones’ farm and head up the back track through the woods until you reach that cluster of trees and park behind them, out of sight. You pull on your boots, grab your spade and stomp angrily or impatiently or nervously through the woods. Soon you see the pile of stones and push through the bushes into the clearing. You walk past the oak tree and start digging.

You’re getting angrier and redder with every spade of dirt shovelled. And your designer jeans are getting dirtier. But the bottom never comes and you don’t understand. So you jump down into the pit and start digging with your bare fingers. Then you see it. You stop breathing for an instant. Your eyes are even more blood-shoot than normal and your mouth is pinched tight. You pick up the damp, muddy piece of paper and you read: HE’LL ALWAYS BE MY BOYFRIEND. You throw yourself down on the ground. You cry, you laugh, you cry again. You rub your face in the soil. You slam your hands into the earth and kick your legs. You’re finally coming undone. Then you hear that loud whisper again. Except this time it doesn’t say anything, it just laughs.

This is a very interesting piece. Thanks for sharing!

So very good!

Thanks for the comments! First time I’ve posted so good to get some feedback. Will be back again.

Very haunting and mysterious.

This sounds like a really psychotic person thinking. Interesting and the writing is solid.

Really well-written and interesting (not to mention freaky! haha)

It’s hard to talk to you. You never really hear what I have to say. You listen patiently, but you don’t hear. I know you are only concerned, worried about me. If I’m sad, healthy, happy, if everything is okay. You don’t really believe me when I say I do. Or accept my point of view as just as valid as yours. You make me feel like all my choices are wrong. Your worry suffocates me. I get overwhelmed with your fears, your thoughts invading mine. You silence my own emotions, because without meaning to, you make me carry your worries. I cannot bear them. It hurts, always saying I need space and your incomprehension of that need; you take that need and twist into something I never intended. Something I wasn’t saying at all.

And now you’re upset because I won’t talk to you at all. But I don’t know what to say. Or how to say it. So it’s easier to remain silent. You say you know me so well, implying with your dismissal of my own efforts at communicating my thoughts and needs, that I don’t know myself as well as you know me. It angers me, this presumption that you can know what is in my soul. You scoff at such declarations as being dramatic. So over the years, I’ve fallen silent. Silence hurts less than the talking we do.

You asked why I don’t talk to you anymore, and that’s why Mom. Because it’s hard.

Wow. All mom’s should read this. The part about thinking you know someone better than they know themselves is poignant. I will try to keep this in mind when I talk to my daughter.

Glad it resonated. I wrote for all the daughters out there. And all the mothers too. I know it’s hard to be either person in that relationship.

As soon as I got to “your worry suffocates me,” I knew this had to be from the child’s pov. Nice job!

Oh gosh, I knew you were talking about your Mom! A universal interpersonal dilemna!

Funny how we all have the same Mom problems! Let’s not tell my Mom okay?

Don’t worry. Even my Mom wouldn’t mind this. She is where I get my honesty. I will hold your confidence.

You come into the book cafe and order a cafe latte. Malachi an acquittance and a fellow peruser of the used book aisle from last week; hands you a book. It’s ‘If on a winter’s night a traveler’ by Italo Calvino.

Immediately you crack the book open, the unique writing style seems somewhat strange, alien, but refreshing. You read on and think, there’s something quite odd about this book. You think, could it be the fact that it was translated from Italian to English. Though a bit confusing at first you continue to push and read on. Suddenly you discover that the character in the story seems to parallel your own thoughts and feelings as you question the authors unique voice and style. The character has similar questions and concerns as you do. Then you have an Aha experience! Of course! That’s it; it is written in the second person point of view. And Calvino has a wonderful genius of taking you on a journey while aligning your thoughts and ideas with the main character; though it’s of a dissimilar subject. You read on….

I think that writing in second person helps the writer discover things they may not have known about themselves. Interesting how it works that way.

You swallow hard, looking at the number flashing on the screen register screen. It’s bigger than you had expected – you’d only come into the store for bananas and paper towels, after all. The number runs into the higher double digits and some odd change and for a moment you stare down the conveyor belt at all the groceries stacked on the other side, waiting to be bagged. The low fat milk, the plastic onion keeper for all those onion halves you always wrap in foil then forget about, the container of Greek yogurt, the dish towels in assorted bright colors, the case of Diet Coke and the stack of frozen dinners in different varieties – chicken, pork and steak. As if any of them taste any different from the others. As if they would ever give you steak in a meal that costs .99c, or .45 when on sale.

“Is that it?” You jerk as the boy – no older than 19 – drawls and leans backwards, cracking his bony fingers one at a time. He smirks. You shudder inwardly – you hate that noise. Hurriedly swiping your VISA, you punch in your PIN and wait for the beep of confirmation. The blue screen flashes “AUTHORIZING” at you. You want to say, the Diet Coke isn’t for me, it’s for a friend who’s visiting this Friday. The frozen dinners are for when you’re too tired to cook after a long day at work. You think it’s ridiculous you have to explain yourself to the kid behind the register, who probably smokes pot behind his school and will eventually drop out to play bass in some failing band, or maybe go to jail. He has tattoos up and down his left, skulls and spikes and other unpleasant things.

“Paper or plastic?” The boy behind the register couldn’t be less interested in your silent judgment, his eyes flitting to the girl in the other checkstand and at the clock on the wall and down to where his manager is standing, chatting with people in expensive suits. Everywhere but at you. That’s why he doesn’t notice you slip the small pack of gum into your pocket, fresh mint, your favorite flavor. You take a deep breath, the gum burning a hole in your side, weighing you down so much you’re sure that you’re tilting to the right. Any second now, that manager a few checkstands down will come over and ask you to please empty your pockets and come this way, security will escort you out. Your cheeks flame at the thought.

“Plastic,” You smile back at him as the register whirs and spits out a receipt as long as your arm. The boy rips it off and stuffs it into a bag along with your milk and yogurt, then hands it to you. For a second, you brush hands and you expect to burst into flames, or for him to suddenly realize you’re a thief, a bloody thief, but he simply waits for you to take your bag with that flat, sullen look.

“Have a good day,” you say politely and smile, but he is already on to the next customer.

Oh, very cool. I liked this one.

Really like how the details in the basket lull us into a sense of normalcy before we realize the secret. I first assumed this was a woman, but just read it again, and realize not necessarily!

It almost seems like she is getting back at him for cracking his knuckles. It’s interesting to think that might be a reason for shop-lifting.

A little justice for the crazy high prices of groceries?! Fun piece. I can picture the whole scene.

How to Be the Beta Chi Slut

First, rifle through your hardwood dresser in search of clothes that don’t just say “come hither,” but scream, “hit this now.” The search will be brief.

In the spirit of the spring semester, choose a mini skirt with an embroidered daisy on the back pocket. The sorority girls who hang around the frat house like to show as much skin as you, but instead of denim and $5.99 wife beaters, their waif-like bodies are typically done up in Versace sundresses.

For a moment, wonder over why they call it a wife beater—then slip the article of clothing on in four seconds flat (your clothing removal record is even shorter).

Heels, glossy and razor-sharp, are a must. Losing the bra before going out gets you extra points, too.

Keep your girlfriends (hopefully you haven’t been a bitch to all of them?) around for when you pre-game, pre-game, pre-game. Lounge on your lofted bed, shot glass in hand.

“Do you think Nate will be at the party?” a girl from your marketing class will ask, a smile trembling to her berry lips.

“Well, he is a Beta Chi brother,” you’ll respond, trying to remember if Nate is the blonde with the Tasmanian devil boxers or the tall guy with a thing for multi-colored condoms. You never were good at names, but if you’re going to be the Beta Chi slut, you should try to get them all straight. Wouldn’t want to embarrass yourself later on tonight, right?

To keep up appearances, stick with this gaggle of girls for when you initially storm the frat house. But make sure to shake the tramps off soon after. They’ll only weigh you down, or steal all the good ones (and the bad ones, for that matter).

Grab a beer and prowl.

The makeshift bar will be cluttered with Busch Light boxes and Bacardi rum bottles—and manned by the Tasmanian blonde. He’ll offer you a Peppermint Patty. A girly drink, he’ll clarify as he shakes his blonde bangs from his face.

Tilt your head back and open wide. He’ll pretend he needs to support your neck as he pours mint-flavored liquor and chocolate into your mouth. The pressure of his palm under your loose hair would be sweet if he wasn’t trying to find your bra strap at the same time.

“It’s good, right?” he’ll ask encouragingly.

You’ll agree; it’s cute that he thinks it’s your first time trying it. “Thanks, Nate.”

“Thanks…Nick?” That’s a common enough name, right?

“Sure thing, Caroline,” Nick will grin.

Slip away from the bar soon after. Doing the dirty with Nick/Nate again wouldn’t be any sort of conquest, anyway. Scope out the dark room, pulsing with music and dance. Peer through the flashes of strobe lights a Beta Chi brother set up. They’ll blind you for a moment.

The real Nate will be DJ’ing the party. Stop by his table for a little flirting, just to remind him what he’s missing out on.

But again, think feline and stalk through the crowd of barely conscious, undulating bodies. Make your way to a preppy-looking brother wearing a sleek white shirt. Introduce yourself. Aren’t you in my Italian class? you’ll ask, though both of you know he’s not. I might be, he’ll respond playfully; I’m Nick, by the way.

Try really hard not to roll your eyes.

Some time during the conversation, you’ll realize Nick’s even more drunk than you anticipated. You’re on your third beer yourself and feeling kind of tipsy. Let him tug on your hand. “Let’s dance,” he’ll say.

The music playing isn’t dance music; it’s Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing,” but Nick doesn’t mind. Personally, you think it’s a little trashy to try grinding to ballads, but you go with it. All the while, Nick belts out the lyrics, sloshing beer on the people around you.

Courtship on the dance floor is your specialty. Left arm around his neck (the other hand holds a Solo cup); bodies foreign to one another, too close for comfort and too comfortable being so close; and the grinding. Smile up expectantly at him. As his hands and arms slide around your hips to the daisy on your skirt, you’ll think to yourself that he’s kind of gross and sweaty. When some subtle song like “Kiss Me Through the Phone” starts playing, the make-out session should commence. It’ll come naturally to you; the whole scenario will.

But there’s calculation in how you do it now.

By the end of the hour, you should be wasted, easy, and on a kiss-and-tell basis with about half of Beta Chi. You’ll save the other half for tomorrow night.

The final guy of the evening isn’t named Nick or Nate. No, on this special night, the chosen one is Charlie. Charlie is the doe-eyed Beta Chi president. You’re now ready for an encounter that, like all the others, is brief, fun, and sharp as nails.

Charlie has striped blue bed sheets that smell of women’s perfume. You might freeze at that, as Charlie drunkenly hovers over you, lids half closed.

“What?” he’ll ask impatiently.

“I…n-nothing.” You’ll continue.

So what if you came into college thinking the first guy you slept with would hand you a sparkling promise ring? So what if, after the first relationship/one-night stand, you just kept going through the motions with one boy after another, sure that one of them would be “the one?”

You’re not the self-searching type, but you know you like the power that comes from conquering the Nicks and Charlies of the world. The choices you’ve made, they’re better for you in a way. This way is best.

The rest of the evening is a blur––or so you can coyly tell people the morning after. All the while, make it blatantly clear that you had a wild(ly inappropriate) night.

You can add that there’s talk of the boys hauling you off to Miami with them for Spring Break. You’ve never been outside the state, and you think of the vacation with a genuine smile.

One last thing: the walk of shame from the frat house to your dorm.

Hold your head up high, smile, and act like you’ve just been awarded the Purple Heart.

Even better, you should think to yourself. You are now the Beta Chi Slut for Spring 2011.

Congratulations.

Wow, this packs a punch! You used the second person and tense well to pull the reader in. It makes it very immediate,personal, and uncomfortable, but very powerful.

I really like how you matched a ‘how to’ instruction manual style with a subject you wouldn’t expect for that. works really well to get the emptiness of the whole experience across.

I think you capture the voice of this piece well in this one line: bodies foreign to one another, too close for comfort and too comfortable being so close;

Such great choices with the details, felt like they added richness and reality and never bogged the writing down. Making out in a man’s bed that smells like woman’s perfume, just that says so much.

You are thirty-five years old and you have just hung up the phone after a very long and stressful call from your soon-to-be-ex wife explaining to you that she is never coming back. Her clothes are still hanging in the closet. That is her toothbrush next to yours in the small porcelain dish on the bathroom counter. That is her daughter asleep in the tiny twin bed you bought just last week.

As you sit in the chair beside your daughter’s bed and stroke her hair you can’t begin to think about what drove your wife away, because you realize, in your daughter’s quiet breaths, that there is no possible excuse. How are you supposed to raise this little girl alone? What do you tell her tomorrow? Should you wait? Is Margaret really never coming back? If she doesn’t come back, who will show this little wonder how to be a woman? Some proxy you meet at a company picnic a year or three or five from now? Will she never fully understand herself, because she only has you to tell her about the deep parts? The passed-down psychoses? The hereditary madness?

You lean back in your chair and rest your hands on your knees with a sigh. Will she grow up to be an introvert? And how much of it will be your fault? You want to believe that it will all be Margaret’s fault. Margaret who left, but then that is weak thinking. You know there must be something you can do to mend this wound now, before it festers and lives on in her, but you are only so much carbon and free will. You don’t have any of the answers right now, and maybe some day you will, but when will that day come? And will she already be crippled by then? Will she forever be the girl-without-a-mom? How do you make this okay?

You can’t. Nothing can make this okay. This is a pain that you will only ever be able to bandage. And everything is ruined.

I like the feel of this, like a camera panning over the scene in the first paragraph and then settling on the 2nd person pov. My favorite part is the “carbon and free will” line.

Thanks Plum, that was one of my favorite lines to write as well 🙂

I forgot I was even reading in second person with this one.

Hahaha, awesome Marianne, that’s good to hear 🙂

I like the opening and how it shifts from belongings to a little girl. And I agree, the “carbon and free will” phrase is great. Great read!

Thanks Puja! I’m glad you enjoyed it.

I like that the man is wiling to take responsibility here. That he will do all that he can to make things okay. I love the compassion. I like the almost admittance that he may have had a part in Margaret’s leaving. I like the use of the word, ‘proxy’…very appropro,

Thanks Susan! I’m glad that you liked it 🙂

Wow – this is different for you Jeff and so very good! Indeed everyone has done really well with this exercise – who knew 2nd person could work so well!

Thanks Juliana! I think that writing in second person is a very helpful exercise for learning to write in the other perspectives. It has…something, haha. I suppose as a writer I should be able to find the words to describe what I am thinking, but I am drawing a blank at the moment.

Very moving. Loved the description of the dad as “only so much carbon and free will.”

Thanks Wendy! I’m glad it moved you 🙂

HI Jeff Bet, you’ve forgotten about this piece but its WONDERFUL. It’s telling me things can be written in 2nd person and beautifully so. So there!

Very moving, I loved reading this Jeff!

You stare at the couch, at the piano, at the door. Anything but the phone. Your stomach was fine five minutes ago, but now hard little hands have taken hold of it and are twisting in opposite directions.

“It’s no problem,” you say. “I’ll just pick up the phone, dial the number, and talk. I like to talk. This won’t be a problem.” Deep inside your head you say something else. “I’m terrible on phones. Always have been. I’ll stutter, I’ll sound weak, I’ll get my words mixed up somehow and he’ll know I’m just a stupid kid.”

You double over in pain as your stomach squeezes and you think you’re going to be sick. The little white telephone seems innocent enough, but when you pick it up your palms are slick with sweat. Desperate, you throw down the phone and run into your bedroom, switching on the light and hunting for something underneath piles of debris. Finally it’s in your hands–the magazine.

Sweaty fingers flipping over the pages, you discover the photo you had in mind–a half-starved child from the streets of Accra. Right beside it is a collection of Haitian children, smiling and waving at you. “This is for them. I have to make the call for them.” You look a little longer at the photos, and only when you put them down do you feel that your stomach has untangled itself, and the hard little hands are no longer twisting.

I like that your piece is leading. I like the the picture of hands wringing a heart. I’m not sure about the end sentence. Does he or she make the call, or bail out? I’m thinking that it took courage to make the call. A certain kind of resolve, that settled the anxiety. Am I correct on this?Again, I like your practice.

Thank you, Susan! This is how I really felt on the morning I wrote this. The ending is a bit enigmatic, come to think of it. I meant that you do indeed make the call, emboldened by the reason for doing so.

Late in coming on this writing prompt, but here goes:

Are you an optimist or pessimist? Do you see the glass 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? What about if you sit somewhere in the middle? Would that be 1/4 or 3/4? A middlin’?. Anyway, you seem to dwell on the reality of the situation. Sometimes that calls for a silver lining, sometimes, an ominous gray cloud, heavy with problems. The silver lining is the ribbon of solution, stripping away the facade, to let the rain fall wear it may, flooding some areas, and watering the daffodils of spring. I tap my pencil on my notepad and peer over my eyeglasses, evaluating your stubbornness, your honesty. I think I have a new label for your condition. Maybe I will be like Freud, or Jung, or Maslow, I don’t know. I’ll have my conclusions printed up in some official journal. (Oh, the joy of being a published author! Wouldn’t that be wonderful?!)

Because you seem to muddle in the middle of puddles, you get all muddy and messy. So, I will call you neither pessimist nor optimist. You are a bit of both. You know, like, “It’s complicated?!” You are a Messymist. Please don’t fret over this. It is good to be self-aware. God deals with messy, quite well. He cleans it up. His grace can handle your mess. So chin up and chin down. It is going to be Okay.

I think this is a hopeful message overall. The tone is kind of subdued relative to the others here and I think that’s appropriate to the theme.

Thank you for that, Marrianne. It was fun practice.

This was very hard! I have taken a few days to think about it!

You stare down at the ruin of your body. Your eyes are open but do not see, a dark stain pools behind your head. You look away from the dress rucked up over your hips. The man who did this to you is down by the river, washing his hands. He returns and pulls down your skirt, fills your pockets with heavy river stones and begins to drag you toward the water.

You look away and see her, small, wild-eyed, clutching your shawl. You want to envelope her in your arms, protect her, and shelter her from his evil. But you can’t, you know you can’t. There is a splash behind you but you do not feel the water rising over your head. She must hide you think. She is staring at you and you beckon her to follow you toward the mountain. You want her to hide in one of the caves, the fissures in the rock. She wraps your shawl around herself and crawls into a low dark space.

He is calling her but she keeps silent and you watch him willing him away from her – your life’s treasure if only you had understood. The little one creeps further into the darkness where she will be safe. And you? Will the darkness ahead of you be safe?

Wow Juliana how sad and frightening. This is beautiful! Thanks

Remember after the scuba trip you came over to my place to help me balance my checkbook thinking it would be easy-peasy with your double math/physics major, not realizing I hadn’t recorded a single purchase for six months. You combed through my bank statements while I made popcorn and winked at my roommates while they left for the mall.

And Holy Hell, you managed to balance my life.

I tossed oversized throw pillows onto the floor and popped in a VHS ofCasablanca, the black and white version not the color-enhanced crap. You wrapped your arm around my shoulders, kissing me, and I barely felt the rug burn.

But when Ilsa flew off into the fog, I said, “This is dumb. What are your plans, anyway?”

Your eyebrow arced at my question, but you knew my rationale. The miles between ‘Virginia Me’ and ‘Georgia You’ made us becoming an US after this chance trip meeting highly unlikely.

“My plans,” your blue sinking into my hazel, “are to come up and see you as much as possible.”

The pillows became clouds and I began to reach for them.

A car whizzed through the roadside puddles beyond my door.

“Would you dance with me in the street?”

You looked out the window then back at me. “Even in the rain.”

But, we never did.

After the news I walked for hours and hours, numb.

Life’s a f****ed up thing. Just when you finally feel like your’re getting the hang of it, it pulls the rug from underneath your feet.

Of the things and ways in this weird world, you begin to come to terms with who you are and whats important. . . .Then, Bam! you get the horrible news. You feel there’s no way to deal with this. There’s no one you can talk too. No one can really understand and you know you’ll just get some mediocre response from them. They love you and care for you and still, they offer nothing of any value or help.

You are really all alone, its an emptiness, a dull emptiness. Why even put up a fight, its futile? But how could you not fight with all your might, all your will. You fight in your head to try and understand, try to justify, try to accept and find hope where there is none. Helpless and hopeless is the final defeat. As if the world stopped spinning and became mute.

And but for the few who count on you, the few who love you; how could you let them down. How could you become dead while still alive; in their eyes? How could you just give up? Anger and rage seem the only cure to feel again; at least you’ll feel something, anything; temporarily anyway. You owe it to them to lie; your faithful family, your optimistic friends. You must lie. Maybe lying is a good thing. Maybe its the only thing you have. And you lie to them and to yourself; you must because the mirror of truth that reflects your skull & bones is too unbearable.

The only way to rid yourself of the rage and fear is to dilute it, drown it, and wash it away – in whatever way you can, with whatever means is at your disposal. And when that fails to sustain you, you flee and jump ship, into a sea of anxiety.

And you don’t possess the courage to acknowledge the truth, the hard cold truth. So you run and you keep running. You hide like a child who hears a noise at night and draws the covers over his eyes. Searching for some sense of security.

so basically homestuck

It wasn’t that easy.

Especially when you loved someone so dearly, and nothing can replace the memories you’ve had, the experiences you’ve been on, and what you have become because of that person. And you were having a really good time—heck, you didn’t want it to end. Not wanting it was an understatement, and even though this person had been a constant headache in your life, you still want this person back. Back, when everything wasn’t dull, and everything was bright and cheery—and everything was working the way it should be. Back, back in your arms and claim this person yours because it has always been like that in the first place. In the first place, when everything was happy. In the first place, when you two were together.

It wasn’t that easy to forget, and forgetting means erasing these memories from your brain and pretending that it never happened. And you can do that, if you really try. If you really try not to visit social networking sites just to stalk that person; if you really try to ignore such group messages by him or her that were sent your way and not think about it too much. You can do that. But the problem is, you didn’t want to.

And it wasn’t that easy to move on, because being with that person meant everything to you. That person can be considered as your first love, your first kiss, your first date, your first sitting-on-a-slow-moving-carousel-and-be-touchy-feely-with-each-other-kind-of-date, your first everything. You didn’t want to forget.

But you have to.

Because everything went downhill, and it’s just…over. You have to move on, and you need it for your life.

It’s been a long time since you’ve left me. How piteous that sentence seems when spoken to a young man of 21. I know you’re probably smirking and chortling at my inherent worry. Maybe that is to be expected. But as your mother, it is warranted. I shudder when I think of the long journey ahead of you, full of sun soaked beaches and monsoon filled jungles. Be smart my son.

Those are your feet my fearsome boy, those are your little travelling machines. You remember that don’t you? Oh how you used to laugh at that as a child. Maybe you still do. Let us hope that they bring you to your hopes and dreams, the blazing sunsets that set every fiber of the sky ablaze, the soft trickle of an ocean breeze on your skin. I pray they steer you in the right direction.

You once told me of your European adventure, of that awful fall from a cliff. Do take care to avoid any repeats for I will still hurt. The weather was awful that day wasn’t it? I shiver thinking of it. No homely warmth in your bones out there my sweet. There is a poetic justice to this some would say. A fearless boy leaving his insular mother in order to see the world and its marvels. It makes you stronger some would say.

When you read this it is my dream that your façade slips. Even if just momentarily. This steely “I can do anything” character is not you my boy. I was not the mother you needed, nor the parent a child deserves. But my presence was always there, and yours is no longer. But could you reach into the recesses of your past and find a way to forgive? I hope so, it is never too late.

That rainy August morning that you left was earth shattering. Clutching at the moth bitten curtains screaming your name was my moment of truth. Failing you was unforgivable, but necessary in order to redeem myself. Telling the neighbors that your sudden spur of the moment decision to travel the world was academically related is a lie like no other. You had to learn to be loved, as I had not taught you.

Think of that cliff you slipped from as a metaphor. It was cold and wet when you fell into the raging and angry sea. But when everything was against you you climbed back up and triumphed. You ventured into the water again. You have forgiven it, knowing that it’s anger was only momentary and that it would soon beckon you to it’s warm and calming embrace. I am the ocean my sweet, find me once more.

Your heart beats reading this, a childhood pain splitting through once more. You will ask yourself why I tried to hurt you so many times. Was it intentional, did I set out to be a bad mother? You know the answer.

I lie here now, not at peace as of yet. You travel the four corners of the earth, knowing that it will lead you back to me. It will not lead you to the little terraced house we called home. But a short journey from there. The walk will test those little feet of yours, through those murky forests you will tread until you find me.

I know you are shocked now, re-reading this letter, this goodbye. Those pesky solicitors will not have been able to reach you. As my granite encored name confronts you, you will know that I loved and do love you, even in death.

That night when you fell off the cliff, I was sure that you were dead. But now as you’re walking up to me, I can see that you lived the fall into freezing water. Then as you’re getting closer I can see the scars that the sharp rocks left on your face. I can still see in my mind as I’m pushing you off, I see in your eyes that look of pure, absolute hatred all of which I’m sure was directed towards me. Your tough, calloused hands scrabbling for something to grab on to, just to save yourself, save myself from the agony of watching you die and reliving it everytime I fall asleep.

I wrote a story in second person and posted it here on Wattpad: http://www.wattpad.com/65226764-stop-the-madness

I’m working on a short story right now where I’m attempting the first-person narration with bits of the “letter from narrator to you” approach woven in. Like you said, it’s not an actual letter, but more the narrator’s thoughts directed toward another character who is present in the scene. I really like how it’s coming together, but have been feeling like I’m breaking some rule… I feel like I’ve just been given permission. Thanks!

this is incredibly common in fanfiction, more specifically in fanfiction from the Homestuck fandom. It’s fun, it’s engaging, but it doesn’t engage YOU as a reader being literally you, but it engages YOU as being the character that this person chose. For example, a character from the comic, Gamzee Makara: “Your name is Gamzee Makara and you are certain this is a rather stupid decision. You are leaning against the cold brick wall of an old building, trying to focus on anything else but your thumping heart. You try to focus of the heavy rain that falls on your hair and runs down your face, try to focus on the splashes of water that are soaking your pants and shoes as the cars rush by, try to focus on cold air that is chilling your bones to the point that you are trying not to shiver…”

probably because homestuck is written itself in second person . . . it’d just be weird to read fanfiction in first or third

Alone by the lake, you toss rocks from a pyramid of golf-balled sized stones, crumbling its temporary structure. They splash in, splashing your flip-flopped feet that splashed along carelessly in the water that morning. You grasp at the sand, pulling some into your palm, and then adding the scoops to the pot of water. Your shoulders slouch more and more after each throw, but you continue until it feels as if you would need a crane to reach anymore. Looking out at the small waves, you can’t even tell how much anger and regret you hurled into the reflecting lake; it just seems to cope with the new sand and rocks. It makes you want to fling the whole beach in, just in spite.

What should you do, now that it’s all out? You don’t want to go back, but you don’t want to stay. Here, there are memories upon memories. Back there, though, there are things. Many things. Many things with memories tied to them, or words tied to them.

Go back. The white shirts with collars. The periodic table posters. The homemade pencil holders, filled to excess. The souvenir bottle. The empty picture frames. The yellow sticky note pad. The coil scribblers, filled to excess.

Stay here. Long walks at midnight. Desperate naps just after midnight. Words spoken to the water. Sandy papers dusted off. Forgotten books on benches. Useless information chanted, chanted, chanted.

You rise up and brush the sand off your shorts. If you stay looking at the water, you can almost forget the years of memories. All you can see is the calming flash of light from the buoys far out from the shore. Not even the road carved into the side of the mountain is illuminated. But if you turn, it’s all there. The streetlights, the late night convenience store, the hotel, the campground, and the beach’s parking lot. Bright, like your future should have been. Bright, like you were told it should have been. Bright, like they were still expecting it to be. But you were done. Time to settle for the small town life in a small town, with small town friends and a small town job. You were no longer an escape hatch to the big cities and the big countries. Close your mind, shield your eyes, and pay no attention to the outside.

At this point, your only goal for the day is to make it through the day.

An entire 24 hours on that single Honeybun you devoured like most white girls wish they could scarf down a desert-like cake for breakfast, but go to Starbucks instead. That was THE last honeybun…that your mom gave you…on the last trip you made home when you were a starving, broke college kid. Yep, you still are one of those.

You’re also still reminiscently rubbing your belly with that way-too-satisfied grin on your face, so let’s go ahead and stop that immediately. This is the moment when one of two things will ensue: on a good day, where you possess that thing people are constantly advising you to get…what’s it called?…oh yeah, self control! So, in the (highly unlikely) event it’s one of ‘those’ days, you’ll refuse to allow yourself the torturous pleasure of daydreaming about the myriad of snacks you would buy if your wallet weren’t even emptier than your stomach. You won’t even go there, you’d let it alone, and maybe even eat a vegetable. Stop laughing. It could happen, one day the taste of broccoli could change… The reality of the situation is your textbooks are screaming to be opened and you avoid looking at them directly, as if averting your eyes will somehow undo the noticing of them in the first place. Similarly to the way you pretended that cute dad didn’t see you checking out his ass at Walmart. That’s just another tally on the Things-You-Ought-To-Be-Doing-But-Aren’t board…he wasn’t even wearing a ring! Soon you’ll quit telling yourself you can’t write because ___ *insert excuse here*____, and you’ll be able to afford more Honeybuns. (Well, either that, or you’ll be HoneyBunz down at the strip club that’s sandwiched in-between a K-Mart and the Family Dollar in a strip mall. Classy…) I think that’s motivation enough.

The slight breeze of yet another chilly summer’s night pulls you’re hair from your face. You’re standing under a lone street lamp, leaning against your old black Saturn. Your gaze is trained on a girl across the street. She stumbles out of the small group of people and cackles. Her blonde hair messy, clothing askew, you can only imagine what she must have been up to. You’re thought’s are confirmed when another individual emerges from the club’s entrance and laces his arm around her waist, burying his face into her neck. “Kaya!” You call to her, digging your hands into the pockets of you’re favorite jacket. Her head snaps up and she sees you’re form in the short distance. Even from where you are you can tell her face is troubled. You watch as she pushes from the guys grip and slowly makes her way over towards you. She grips the front of your coat, pulling you closer. “Jackson.” She breaths heavily, alcohol burning your nose. You push her off and walk around the front of the Saturn. “Get in. I’m taking you home.” You answer in a commanding, yet indifferent tone. She always does this. Leaving you to clean up her mistakes. “Please don’t tell mom and dad.” She whines, slipping ungracefully into the passenger side’s seat. You glance at her in the small mirror before looking into your own blue eyes. You’re dark chestnut brown hair is windswept and the bags under your eyes are dark and purple. When did this become you’re life? When did you stop taking care of yourself? You avert your eyes to the car’s clock radio. 4:17 am. “I won’t.” You sigh, pulling the seat belt across your body and starting up the vehicle. It’s quiet in the car, only the low rumble of the engine and the soft breathing of you’re younger sister. It was hard to believe she was only 16. You look at her peaceful sleeping form and frown. Why couldn’t you control her? A loud noise caused you to jump in your seat, head whipping around to the driver side mirror, just in time to see the blinding white light. You’re heart beats fast as you slam on the breaks, to slow to stop the impact.

I love this form. My words flow so smoothly. For years I tried third and first person, neither of them felt right. They just came off a corny or it just didn’t sound good. Why didn’t anyone tell me about this before? I have multiple blank stories. I am going to use this on them too. Thank you for the help.

You are wake in a room. What should be an ordinary experience is strange. As you get out of bed, you notice this isn’t your bedroom. Nor is it a room from your house. Alarmed, you take in the room as fast as possible. Your clear, pain free head indicates this isn’t due to alcohol. Your next thought is that this is a dream. You have had odder dreams before. However, this seems too detailed to be a dream. You get up from the bed. The room is small and relatively bare. You cross to the door. You turn it. It’s locked. You stare at the door for a minute, thinking. Then you try the other door. It’s locked as well. You realize your breathing is ragged, and you cross back to the bed to calm down.

You decide to survey the room more closely. The walls are a plain grey. You crouch down and look under the bed. There is no dust. There is only a small stuffed rabbit. You grab it and set it down on the bed. The rabbit has a collar that reads O. Rabbit. You head over to the other furniture, a drawer. It has three cabinets. One is empty. The other 2 contain keys. One is an ornate silver key that shines in the dim light. The other key is plain copper. The silver key doesn’t open either of the doors. The copper key fails to open the first door. Your hand shakes as you put the key in the second door. It works.

The door is clearly not an exit. Now you are in a room slightly smaller than the one you woke up in. The walls are a bright white instead of dull grey. There is a skylight above, sending the sunlight down. This cheers you up and brings optimism to the forefront. The only decoration is a small chest pushed up in a corner. You ready the other key. The small key is an obvious fit for the little chest. Surprisingly, the chest isn’t locked. Inside the chest, is, nothing. You stare at the chest blankly. What does this mean? You are stuck. There is no way out.

You head despondently back into the main room. You close the door a little harder than necessary. The stuffed rabbit is still crouched on the bed. You pick it up and hug it. You suppose you shall never find out why you are here. “No…” And then you sleep.

It’s just a little something I attempted to write for my creative writing class. It’s my first time really writing in second person, and actually completely a story, so I’m sorry if it doesn’t appeal to you.

You follow the echo, tiptoeing through the forest, navigating through the narrow path between the billowing trees. You push through the branches and leaves that fan around you. Push through them until you can finally see the clearing to the lake. you slowly made your way down the sandy path, inching closer to the glimmering waters of the lake. you could almost feel his presence. As you gets closer to his heartbeat, the tug on you gets stronger, dragging you down, weighing down on you every step. Whatever rope holding you back, didn’t want you to meet him either. But you kept walking, walking until your legs were moving like rusted gears. Just as you reached the clearing, and heard him call your name one more time, a thought flashed through your head. The sound of laughter. “We’ll always love you.” The rope won you over, tugging you back until you tumbled through the trees. Your hands shot out, clawing desperately at the dirt scattered about you. “We’ll come back for you we promise.” The warmth reminiscent of a kiss blossomed upon your cheek. You clung more tightly to the ground, yearning to reach him. You needed to find him. You heard him calling your name, and your heart thundered in your chest. You struggled against the rope, aspiring to be free. The poignant reminder of the privation you would face if the rope took away all you conquered to get here, encouraged you to pull away harder. You dug your fingers into the ground and pulled yourself forward. You must reach him. You didn’t want to look back anymore. He was all you desired.

You lifted herself onto a tree branch, far away from the rope, and looked out. You peered through the bits of space that the leaves forgot to cover up, and wondered why he didn’t come to you instead. You remembered the days, where all you did was cry over how unfair life was. He had been there to comfort you. You use to think of his voice in your head on days when you really didn’t want to wake up. You thought of him on the nights where you lay awake thinking of the future that you ruined for herself. He was there when those people took away your dignity. The simple act of him saying your name had tore you away from the dark moments. When your parents found out that you wanted to go see him, they vowed to keep you away. They punished you and made sure to never leave your side. You felt so trapped and engulfed in a life you didn’t want. When you snapped out of your thoughts, you felt the light tug of the rope on you and you squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t wanna go back. He’s my only escape. He’ll make me feel happy.” You assured herself. The rope withdrew and you lowered yourself off the branch and dropped to the crisp grass and moist dirt below you. You took a breath and proceeded towards the lake.

With each step you took, flashes of memory sprang back and forth in your mind. It’s either him, or the life you knew before. The distance between you and the lake seemed to stretch on for miles. Glancing up at the luminous ribbons of silver etched across the sky, you felt less frightened. The moonlight streamed down, directing a path towards him. The harmonious tweets of birds filled the air every once in awhile. All these little things made you feel like you had chosen the right thing to do. You felt peace in your mind for once in a million years. It was like the war going on in your head had finally ended. Just as you thought that, you felt something wrap around you. You tumbled to the ground. “Please don’t say those things. We care about you. It’s the reason we’re here for you.” You yelled out in agony as his voice seemed to be left behind. There was a barely audible whisper of your name being called. You heard him one more time before you got yanked out of the forest. As you hastily tried to unbind yourself from the rope, it wounded around you more tightly and your breath caught in your throat. “Stop it. Don’t leave us for him.” You panicked and urged yourself to break free. You kicked and screamed, willing the rope to let you go.

After hours of struggle, you finally broke free. You wandered into the darkness and shelter of the trees once again. Finally being free, the sound of his voice calling for you was loud and clear. Your heart was beating erratically. You felt so close to finally getting everything that you wanted. It was in that moment, you realized that turning away from everything you once knew was completely worth it. You tore through the aged trees, crinkled bushes, jagged rocks, and every other obstacle in your path. From where you were, you could hear the soft rippling of the water. He was there at the lake waiting for you. You have never felt such a surge of vitality. As you reached the opening of the trees, your eyes lingered on the lake, a black void, with the light of the moon beaming off of it. Your heart continued to thrash in your chest. The smile on your face widened. Tears began to blotch your cheeks. You were so close to him after all this time. You flew the rest of the way down to the lake. A rush of feeling filled your chest. Your lungs squeezed with something you have never felt before. Suddenly, the beating of your heart slowed down to a stop. A flash of colors blinded you. When you mustered up the courage to open your eyes, you saw him. You knew you had finally succeeded. You made your way towards him. You stared into the dark abyss beyond him. He stood there with open arms. A glint of something malicious flickered over his eyes. He gave you a welcoming smile. The devil was he…

This was a challenge, but once I got into the groove, I felt a little more comfortable. I don’t know if I could write something much longer than this entirely in second person though.

You pull the door shut behind you, locking it even though you’ll only be gone a half hour. You shove your already cold hands into your gloves as you bounce down the stairs, preparing for the first run of winter.

The glass door to your apartment is foggy and radiating cold into the lobby. You adjust your hat to make sure your ears are covered. Then, you pull the scarf around your neck up to cover your mouth and nose.

It’s been two months since you’ve been running. The cold set in and so did you, but you promised yourself you wouldn’t quit. The cold won’t be that bad. Your layers will be enough to keep the cold out. You know these are lies, but they motivate you anyways.

You push the door open. The cold burns through your gloves. A burst of wind hits the only visible skin around your eyes, but you continue outside and march into the parking lot. The dim light from the porch illuminates the falling snow, which muffles all the sound. You look up, and watch the snow appear out of the black sky and fall lazily to the already covered ground. You are suddenly warm and content here. Outside isn’t so bad.

The wind picks up and hits you sideways. The calm feeling from before is gone. “Screw this!” you say out loud and accomplish the only running you’ll do tonight, back inside.

Little by little the train slowed down. You fly through the sky, oblivious to the debris in the air around you. You have one mission. Destroy the enemy. In an air base far away a clock ticked and an alarm sounded. A sound explodes in your ears, and you grab your head, trying to make it stop. A giant force throws you toward the ground. You are falling, falling…

Beep, beep, beep! You roll over in bed and turn the alarm off. You lay in bed, then, shoot! You remember that you had a job interview today in the city. At 8:00. It’s 7:15 and rush hour. You get up in a hurry and throw some clothes on, brush your hair, and look the best you can for running late. On the way, you go through the busy drive-through at Breakfast Stop for some coffee, but the line is too long. You’ll have to skip the coffee. The highway drive is monotonous, and you have some time to think about your dream.

Where were you? You don’t remember the setting. It was a strange dream. You do know that there was a train. And a time bomb. Was that what it was? It definitely exploded, and along with the ticking, it could have very well been a time bomb. Why was there debris in the air? And why were you trying to destroy the enemy? Who was the enemy? Was the time bomb a sonic bomb? That would explain the force that threw you to the ground. Why was the bomb in an air base? And how on earth did it reach you so far away?

After the interview you decide that you need answers. As soon as you get home, you google the name Ellen Stone.

Ellen Jean Stone was born on December 7, 1941, and died on November 6, 2005. Stone was an acclaimed astrophysicist and won three Nobel Prizes for her work. She was also rumored to be involved in fortune-telling and witchcraft, although it has never been proven. Her husband, Dr. Dan C. Stone, is CEO for Aluminum Professionals, LLC.

You open a new tab in your browser, and search Dan Stone. An article about Stone appears, but the link underneath catches your eye.

Dr. Dan C. Stone – Aluminum Professionals, LLC. – 563.735.7298 [email protected] – 2849 Weyton Square Indianapolis, Indiana, 02574.

Just what you need. Maybe Stone will know something about his wife’s work.

The next morning you head for Aluminum Professionals, LLC., seeking out Dr. Dan C. Stone. You print out the address, and drive to Indianapolis.

You walk into the lobby. It was a spotless, sleek facility, and the heels of your shoes tap in the white tile floor. You approach the lady at the counter. You ask for Dr. Stone.

“Do you have an appointment?” she asks.

“No,” you say.

“Then I’m sorry, you’ll have to come back another time.”

“Please, ma’am, it’s urgent.”

“What is your business with Mr. Stone?”

“I’m afraid it’s confidential,” you say. Maybe she’ll stop asking questions.

The woman picks up the phone.

“Mr. Stone, someone’s here to see you. They claim it’s confidential.” She pauses, then nods at you. She writes down the office number on a slip of paper, then points toward the elevator. You head upstairs.

On the elevator you notice that there is no 13th floor. Maybe that has something to do with his wife’s superstitions, you think.

You woke up in the complete darkness. You can’t even hear your heart beating, even though you remember vaguely falling over and pain racing through your body. Far overhead, you hear a light scratching noise. You try to yell and pound on—it feels like fresh wood, strange. You touch your body and feel fresh clothes, but you can’t smell anything. You start pounding on the wood, but your hands can’t move too far, maybe a few inches. You grunt and keep pounding until you hear the wood start to crack. You then start pulling at the wood, causing your mouth to fill with dirt and your body to become covered in cool dirt. You continue clawing through the dirt. Strange, you haven’t felt the need to breathe. But you feel a bit, well, thirsty. You continue clawing upwards, until you feel a single hand poke out of the dirt into the open air. You pull yourself out, and see a pair of people walking off into the distance. Overhead, you see a full moon with dark clouds floating across it. You can feel the hunger race through you, demanding to be filled. Your eyes lock onto the people and you race towards them. They seem to be nearly standing still as you slash at them with your bony hands. They drop and you clomp your mouth onto their bodies and slurp up their warm blood. Instants later, you feel the hunger pain subside, but look down and see two people you once knew, now ripped into pieces scattered around you. You try to weep, but no tears come. Then, you hear a voice “The first is always the most intense. You are mine. Look at me.” Your entire body goes rigid, except your neck slowly cranes to see your new master. She is dressed in a slinky dress, has the palest skin you’ve ever seen, and a cool predatory look in her pure white eyes. “Let’s go.”

I tried this exercise for the first time today writing a short story. It felt weird at first but I became more comfortable writing in second person. I may try this out more often.

My little sunflower. I watch, as you stretch your tiny limbs, reaching for me. I am your sun. I, who have always been cold as death, am now the warmth that gives you life. Your face, just a moment ago a tight, angry red ball is now smooth, white and pure like mother’s milk. I touch you in wonder. It is a softness like I have never felt before, a softness that soothes my callused fingertip as I draw it gently across your rosy, baby cheek.

You stare up at me, the wonder in your squinty eyes mirroring my own. They are still adjusting to the world around…but even at this early stage, I know you know me. Clear green eyes so unlike mine, sparkling like the ripples of a stream in the sunshine. I lose myself in you.

I watch, seeing my pain in your eyes as your face turns red once more and then blue, and your eyes lose their sparkle as they dull and glaze over. You no longer know me.

And yet you reach out blindly, fingers stretched towards me, even as I strangle you to your death.

This piece was inspired by a recent tragic incident of a young mother killing her new born baby, while still in the hospital. She was diagnosed with some form of mental instability. Nothing is known beyond that. I tried to keep this sort of “motivelessness” and detachment within the story, thinking it would make for a more powerful piece. Hope I succeeded!

Is the second person really that rare? Maybe it’s different if you’re writing nonfiction. Most (if not all) of my writing is in the second person. I like to talk directly to my readers, asking questions and that sort of stuff. Maybe, I should try first and third instead.

Instead of fighting, you obeyed. Somehow even that was defiant. Your chin was raised high as you told me that you’d rather I didn’t kill you. Yoh smirked as you asked who I’d hire to do the job or if I’d just think it and make it happen. We were talking about how I knew what you were doing from across the world because I could feel you. You thought that was a load, but didn’t fight even as I insulted you. You just smiled, obeyed and twinkled your eye.

Great article and I am polishing up a novel now from the intimate 2nd person narrative and it was in reading pieces like this that I solidified my decision. I was a bit concerned that my character would be speaking to me through this lens at first, but from word one t felt right and has throughout the entire manuscript. Even the sceptics in my writing group who were advising me to reconsider when the idea first started spilling out on the page have taken a new viewpoint saying it definitely works in this particular story!

Beautiful technique. I love it. You never wanted to cross the wild path. Still, in silence something happening in your mind. You wanted to cross and hug him to keep him entirely in your life. …

“Caroline, today is a very important day,” Mother gives you a pained smile and bends down to your level. Her honey brown hair swings in front of your face before you see her hazelnut eyes close to yours. She leans in and gives you a kiss on the forehead. As she pulls away you catch the smell of her ocean shampoo. You turn you head to the side while questions run through you head as tears stream down Mom’s face. She pulls up her purse and wipes away her tears. “Let’s go visit Daddy’s place.” Before you ask any questions she picks you up and heads to the front door.

“Where are we going Mommy?” You ask, fear creeping into your voice. Moms never cries like this, why is she sad? You tighten your arms around her neck as she turns off the hallway lights and opens the front door. She gives you a quick smile as she closes the door and carries you to the car. She slowly straps you into the car and gets into her seat. You decide to ask again, “Mommy, where are we going? Why are you crying?” You struggle under the carseat buckles, but you are no use against them.

Your mother wipes away another tear and hides a sob as she turns around to face you, “We are just going to hi to Daddy,” She smiles and wipes away other tears. The engine of the car roars to life. As she backs the car out of the parking space you open your mouth to speak but she cuts you off, “Don’t you remember last year? In the nice green park,” She turns the car around and drives out of the apartment buildings parking lot. You try to remember such an instance from the previous year, but your mind is blank. Who is Daddy?

“Here we are,” Mommy says as we pull up to a big grassy field. In the background you can hear birds chirping. Still you have no memory of such a place. She shrugges as she unstrapes you from your confindment. “I don’t expect you to remember, you were pretty young last year.” She smiles, but it quickly fades as she turned towards the field.

“Why are we here?” You ask, concern still lining you voice as wind almost drowns out your question. Your mom smiles at you and starts to cry again. She collapes down on the grass and you jump out to comfort her. You can’t figure out why she is crying so much. Does she have allergies again? “Mommy, who is Daddy?” you ask. It seems like Daddy is the reason you are here, where is he?

“Daddy is the most wonderful person,” Mommy says and looks up at you with a smile. “He had to go away for a long time on a journey, but he will return, whether it be in my lifetime or not,” your mom’s gaze drifted off into the trees and she smiles. You can’t understand why she is sad then happy, but it made you happy that she was.

You ask you last question again, you feel the need to have it answered, “Who is Daddy?” You look at your mom with anticipation and wait as she turns your head towards you.

“He was Olyuss, the magician of my life,” She smiles and gives you a hug.

its crazy how everything happens.Just as when you were little and everything was blurry. You remember your mom walking you to school in a hurry. When you started growing and understanding that alot of things you were doing were bad. Maybe something affected you wen you realized the world is cold and sad. Its crazy how also the bad things that happened in your life time can change you in so many ways. But only you got to realize it miles away. The seasons start changing friends became strangers. Sometimes you get stuck mentally seems like your in danger.No were to run to.No one to talk to. In the room stuck between four walls, theres life out there but you must have forgot. You feel alone and misunderstood. That no one knows the struggle you go through. But only if you really knew that my Lord the savior heard your crying, he’s got you. Still in your disbelief that there wasn’t anyone to save you. You let yourself go, not trusting your stuggle. Drank, smoked went home empty. From were you last left off sitting in the dark you always thought where is the ending? You thought this was it. That there was no way out of escaping but there is… Trust in God, get on your knees and pray. I guarantee you tomorrow be a better day. I tell you no lies because there was a moment in life I went through something like this “Once Upon A Time”

That example is still first person point of view. It has “I” in it, so the “I” is still the one behind the story, not the other person, the “you”.

your not gonna lie anymore more.you didnt even know your own language. the whole time right in in your face. its no point in blaming anymore. fuck. its sorta funny when you find the man your yelling at is yourself. didnt say i didnt tell you but i know you suck at writing. wanna bump? go

You woke up at 8:30 a.m. and just remembered your brother left you to travel home all alone. This was the first time traveling out of state by yourself, with no help. You can still hear the warnings of your grandparents from the night before, “Don’t travel at night and don’t pick up any strangers!” You tell yourself, “There’s nothing to be afraid of. You’ve got this.” But you never made it back home.

I write exclusively in second person. I have on occasion switched to 1st person and swapped perspectives between character and very much enjoy this style. The second person seems to be the most effective when you want to focus more on the story vs the actual characters. Like if you want to be vague and not reveal a lot second is great. First is great if you want to do perspective and focus on emotions and motivation.I dont think I really write in third that often.

This is a passage I lifted from a short story i wrote, when i tried to use second person as the lead figure suffers a panic attack in the middle of the action, Now you’re drifting…..

Now this is starting to get to you, you heart’s pounding, your mind’s racing, The cabin’s spinning all around you, You’re flushed, choking and trembling, What if you have a heart attack! What if you never leave here? Now you’re sweating, it’s sliding down your face, dripping off you. You want help, don’t you? What if you breakdown and scream? They’ll have gotten to you, They’ll twist you, torment you, break you, and drive you mad. You can’t get your beads, they’re in the corner, You can’t bend, you can’t reach, you can’t move, can you? You’re frozen with fear, But you’re all alone, What if you die here? God help you.

You look in the mirror at your self perceived, distorted appearance. You look at your popped out shoulder blades, your curved in sides. You run your hand over your arm, looking down at the scars you’ve inflicted on yourself. Each one having a definite shape. Each one having a different story.

Your mother pulls into the all to familiar circular parking lot of your family church. Pulling up to the curb she puts the car in park and turns to you.

“Are you ready.” She smiles at you hopeful.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Is your response. You don’t waste anytime exiting the car, quick to shut the door. You knows she’s staring at you as you make your to the glass double doors.

Just like many days before, you find your yourself looking up to the sky. Why are you doing this? You watch the clouds moving across the vast expanse of ocean blue background. You take a moment, thinking if going to this is worth your time. Another boring therapy session plays across your mind.

A honk fills your ear drums, breaking your daze. You glance over your shoulder, your mother waves for you to move through the passenger side window. You nod your head and wait for her to leave. The sound of an engine slowly fades away before you force yourself into the building.

The tiny, four corner room smells of hopelessness and stale coffee. To you that’s exactly what this is; hopeless. In a moments thought you stretch your sleeve over your hand, gripping it tight in your fist, covering the evidence from the night before. Dr. Jenkins collects your files, then looks up at you.

“Rose, how are you?” He addresses you with the same joyful tone as always.

You shrug your shoulders.

“I see.” He looks down, making a note on your sheet. “And have you been taking your medicine. ”

You suppress a laugh. “You know, it’s not really my thing.” He stares at you under his black trimmed, oval glasses.

“Rose.” He rubs his forehead.

“Dr. Jenkins.” You respond, peeking at the bowl of skittles in your peripheral vision.

“You need to take it.” This is not far from anything you’ve heard before.

You grab a handful of skittles, plopping one into your mouth. “It doesn’t do anything.” You know the words he’s about to speak before he even opens his mouth.

“You haven’t been taking them long enough.” There it is.

“A year, Dr. Jenkins.” You sit up, throwing your hands in the air. “A year I’ve been taking this medication. Now I don’t know about you, but that seems pretty damn ‘long enough.’”

He clasps his hands together. You don’t want to be here anymore. “Just a little longer and if it doesn’t work, then we’ll stop. Okay?”

You know you’re about to lie. “Okay.”

Why can’t you just tell him the truth?

Yea this point of view i never do. Mostly seen in selfhelp nonfiction types, recently I’m concerned: in dialogues what if not sure which party is the ‘you’ referring to? Especially in a story with many people. (I’m an author i don’t want to lose this skill)

Here’s an extract from a dystopian short story that I am writing for year 12 🙂

You try to read the letter again, with shaking hands and foggy glasses. Your lips can’t find the motion to speak, and the words can’t find the way out of your mouth.    “We regret to inform you that you are the person that has been randomly chosen to make the sacrifice for the preservation,” you murmur, through trembling lips. You remain frozen on the couch, with your wife laying on top of you, sobbing. The tears from your whole family is sufficient enough to fill a swimming pool. As you embrace your dear children, you notice a black government car outside, with tinted windows. You know that it’s time to go. You know you have to go. As you step outside, Emily grabs hold of your leg and doesn’t let go, whilst progressively crying harder and louder. You pull her off. It hurts so much inside, but you know that you have to do it. You give them each one last hug, and try to pull a funny face at the kids to try and stop them from crying. It doesn’t work. As the car pulls away, you see your wife, running back inside the house, with her head in her hands.

In the car, you just sit there. You don’t know what to think. You don’t know what to do. You’re frozen, and nothing seems to enter or leave your mind.

The silence endures.

what if you have a story involving more than one character? You can’t simply make it personal in more than one body, because it’d be ridiculously hard to notify the reader which character they’re now embodying, it’s unrealistic therefore and it’s no longer personal if you’re not even that one person who you can identify with. This is why, unless you’re writing a story only in one person’s point of view (which is just as limiting as first person, if not more so, so hardly useful) that 2nd person is incredibly limiting. It should only be used for speeches, ads etc. when you’re applying your message to everyone and CAN apply that to everyone and anyone

3rd person arguably reigns supreme again therefore, because you can embody the reader in as many characters as possible, and if written well you can show the different perspective of each character’s stimuli and how their nurture and nature affects their experience of the stimuli, such as with life: you may understand why someone did x, but you may never know what experiences brought them there or made them act that way in the first place, neither can you realistically in 2nd person, unless if the reader’s character is a ghost who can possess people… 3rd person you can do so realistically, because the reader is like a god, you’re more or less omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient, limited only to the scope of the story. It’s less personal you say? Not if you write the story properly, if the story isn’t personal and the reader’s don’t find the characters relatable in any style of story, irrelevant of what type of person you’re referring to, then you’ve failed perhaps the most basic part of creative writing and your story would be awful

1st person uses ‘I’ anyway, so not much less personal or different than ‘you’ and just as limiting

wait, I understand why it’s useful to learn how to write as compacting and therefore nuanced as possible, but why does it have to be 100 words on the dot? That doesn’t really prove anything and is overly stifling for anyone. Good story nonetheless

Nah, second person holds the person at arms length. It’s not good enough if you want the persons emotional connection.

Hi this is the opening paragraph of story i’m working on called, “You and me” its a soulmate story can i have your opinion. You’ve never been particularly interested in the concept of soulmates. It had always befuddled you why every girl in your class from seemed to be obsessed with who their soulmate would be and what they would look like. It’s not that you never thought about soulmates, the timer on your wrist made sure of that, but you tended to spend your time focusing on more practical things like your classes and the after school theater program you’ve been a part of since middle school. As months turn into years and you graduate high school you continue to ignore the clock on your wrist ticking down to the day you will meet the person who will be your forever. You move for college attending the same college as your best friend, a university in Boston with a great theater program, and move in together. You easily fall into a rhythm of classes, work and studying not thinking about the seconds ticking down on your wrist as the days flow into one another. Your first few semesters are more boring then you wish as you try to knock out the required classes for your freshman year before winter break. You expect to spend winter break alone in the apartment you ‘Share’ with your best friend. Ever since she meet her soulmate she has been scarce and you don’t doubt the same will be true for winter break. You don’t mind being alone, you quite enjoy the quiet. It allows you to get work done and to collect your thoughts. You were perfectly content to spend winter break alone when you receive a call from you mother offering to buy you two way ticket to see her for the holidays. You haven’t seen your mother in over a year and even if that wasn’t the case who are you to refuse a free ticket to see her. You aren’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth so you go to see her. What you don’t see is the timer on your wrist, now hidden behind a black leather cuff, go from 2190:D 23:H 14:M 23:S to 10:D 23:H 14:M 23:S the moment you step off the plane.

Your article that suggests writing in the second person is especially helpful. Particularly the examples you included. I thought about an earlier unrelated writing prompt and then a newspaper incident discussed in an interview though highly unlikely, that actually happened. It got me started on the exercise and now I feel there’s a short story in it. I think one of your best points is don’t let writing in 2nd person hem you in. Figure out how to vary it as much as possible and still remain in that voice.

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Writing in Second Person – Examples

| Candace Osmond

Candace Osmond

Candace Osmond studied Advanced Writing & Editing Essentials at MHC. She’s been an International and USA TODAY Bestselling Author for over a decade. And she’s worked as an Editor for several mid-sized publications. Candace has a keen eye for content editing and a high degree of expertise in Fiction.

With all writing mostly done in the first and third person, it’s confusing to think (and apply) the second person POV. Using the pronoun “you,” the writer comes “face to face” with the reason, addressing them directly in a more interactive literary experience.

I’m not a fan of this perspective and don’t often use it. I always thought of it as a way to write non-fiction, video games, or instructional guides rather than fiction. Learn what the 2nd person POV is, when to use it, and what are some tried and true tips.

What Is Second Person POV?

The second-person POV revolves around the “you” pronoun. You don’t see it often because writers don’t usually address the reader directly unless it’s an advertisement text, a speech, a political discourse, or a song.

This perspective is commonly used in non-fiction writing, such as in self-help books, advertising texts, song lyrics, video games, or political discourses. But I’ve seen it used in fiction in rare cases for a stylistic choice. A love letter to the reader, a fun interactive choose-your-own-adventure story, etc. It can be done; you just have to get clever with it.

The narrative voice that is in the second person is one that is used less frequently and is one that comes more effortlessly while speaking than when writing. You may have forgotten about it, but that does not mean that you cannot make use of it.

Copywriters employ the second-person point of view to create a connection and a sense of familiarity with the reader. This helps the reader feel as though the author truly understands the circumstances they find themselves in.

A narrative voice told from the second person is an intense experience for readers of fiction. They’re thrust into the middle of the action and made a participant in the unfolding events that take place. As a writer, you can turn a character become a buddy, a confidant, or even a participant in a crime.

How Do You Write in 2nd Person?

Although it’s not widely used, it’s fairly simple to remember. Just pretend you’re writing directly to the reader and refer to them as ‘you’. Instead of writing, Agatha loved rainy days so she could curl up with a good book, you would write, You love rainy days and curling up with a good book .

Practice is key to becoming a better writer in any genre or medium. You might want to try writing lines changing the first and third person to the third person POV.

Investigate several tenses as well, don’t leave that out. Experiment with writing in the second-person perspective, both in the present and in the past tense, and think about the effect that this has on the reader.

Reading published works written from the second-person POV will help you develop the skills necessary to write in this perspective successfully yourself. Look at some examples, particularly those presented to you through advertising, and dissect their impact on you as a reader.

When you are writing, you should focus on the voice of the story you are telling rather than your own voice. It is so simple to lose one’s sense of perspective.

Keep in mind who is now making the statement. Include descriptive details so that the reader may put themselves in the setting and experience a sense of increased plausibility.

Is the Word We 2nd Person?

“We” is a first-person plural word, which isn’t common when writing or talking in the second person.

For second-person pronouns, you can use you, your, yours, and yourself (for the second-person singular) and add yourselves (for second-person plural).

Tips for Writing in Second Person

Writing from the point of view of the second person presents some problems. The biggest one is the requirement that the reader suspends their disbelief to the extent that they perceive themselves as a character in the narrative.

Look at the Classics

Granted, second-person POV stories are not as common as those presented in the first or third person. However, you can still find literary works showing how it’s done. Works such as If on a Winter’s Night a Traveler by Italo Calvino and Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas by Tom Robbins deserves your time and attention.

Use Descriptive Details

When reading a book, it is common practice for people to make observations. If you want the reader to take on the role of a character, it is your responsibility to ensure that they can do so credibly.

Create a universe for them by providing more specifics about the setting. Appeal to the audience’s senses and emotions by providing descriptions of the scene, other characters, and events that are rich in depth.

Be Consistent with the POV

The point of view of the second person can be challenging to convey, and it’s easy to make the mistake of writing from your own point of view. Remember who the character is at all times, and take yourself out of the scenario.

It’s easy to slip and use first-person pronouns and third-person pronouns when trying to write second-person POVs because those are the more commonly used and seen in forms of writing.

Second Person Pronouns in Different Cases

If you’re confused about how to use second-person pronouns, here is a short clarification: The second-person singular and plural pronouns have the same form, so you have to rely on context to figure out if they address one or multiple people.

Here are some second-person writing examples to clarify a few notions:

• Subjective case: You brought me that book yesterday.
• Objective case: I like you a lot.
• Possessive case/possessive determiner: Doing the dishes was your responsibility.
• Possessive case/possessive pronouns: The books on the table are yours.

The Bottom Line

When writing about professional matters, addressing the reader in the first person lends an air of familiarity, whereas writing in the third person lends an air of authority. Addressing the writer directly using the second person POV is a bald move, especially if you’re looking to write fiction, but it’s not impossible.

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First, Second, and Third Person: Definition and Examples

Home » The Writer’s Dictionary » First, Second, and Third Person: Definition and Examples

Point of view definition: First, second, and third person are categories of grammar to classify pronouns and verb forms.

• First person definition: first person indicates the speaker.
• Second person definition: second person indicates the addressee .
• Third person definition: third person indicates a third party individual other than the speaker.

What is the difference Between First Person, Second Person, and Third Person?

First, second, and third person refer to pronouns and their verb forms.

What is First Person?

First Person Example:      

• I prefer coffee to hot cocoa.

In this example, “I” am the speaker. This is first person.

What is Second Person?

Second person point of view: Second person refers to the addressee. It uses the subject pronoun “you.”

Second Person Example:  

• You prefer coffee to hot cocoa.

In this example “you” is the addressee. The speaker is addressing “you.” This is second person.

What is Third Person?

Third Person Example:

• He prefers coffee to hot cocoa.

In this example “he” is the third party. The speaker is referring to him as the addressee. He prefers coffee to hot cocoa.

When using the different points of view, verbs need to be conjugated appropriately to fit the pronoun use.

Note: Pronouns are only used in English when an antecedent has been clearly identified.

What Are First Person Pronouns?

First person pronouns always refer to the speaker himself. These pronouns are only used when the speaker is making a statement about himself or herself.

First Person Pronoun List:

Here is a list with examples of the first person words we use in writing and speech.

• I prefer coffee to hot cocoa. (First person singular)
• We prefer burgers to pasta. (First person plural)
• Jacob embarrassed me.
• Jacob embarrassed us.
• The hat is mine.
• The hat is ours.
• That is my hat.
• That is our hat.

What Are Second Person Pronouns?

When you are writing, a good way to think about the second person’s point of view is that it addresses the reader (as I just did in that sentence).

Second person pronouns are only used when the speaker is making a statement to the addressee, i.e., to someone.

Second Person Pronoun List:

Here is a list with examples of the second person words we use in writing and speech.

• Jacob embarrassed you.
• The hat is yours.
• That is your hat.

Note: In each of these examples, “you” can be an individual (singular) or multiple people (plural).

What Are Third Person Pronouns?

Third person pronouns always refer to a third party. These pronouns are used when the speaker is making a statement about a third party.

Third Person Pronoun List:

Here is a list with examples of the third person words we use in writing and speech.

• He prefers coffee to hot cocoa. (Third person singular)
• They prefer tea to coffee. (Third person plural)
• Jacob embarrassed her.
• The hat is theirs.
• That is their hat.

First, Second, and Third Person in Writing

Writing in first person: Literature in the first person point of view is written from the speaker’s perspective. This point of view uses first person pronouns to identify the speaker/narrator. First person point of view is generally limited in that the audience only experiences what the speaker/narrator himself experiences.

Writing in third person: Literature in third person point of view is written from an “outside” perspective. This point of view uses third person pronouns to identify characters. In third person writing, the narrator is not a character in the text. Because of this, he can usually “see” what happens to all of the characters.

Writing in second person: In non-fiction writing, a speaker will often switch between pronouns. Writers do this only for effect. For example, if a speaker wants to be clear and “get through” to the audience, he might say “you” (second person) throughout the text even if the text is mostly in third person. Again, this is strictly for rhetorical effect. Experienced writers use this as a literary tool.

Common Questions and First, Second, and Third Person

Here, I want to go quickly through a few questions I get about first, second, and third person pronouns.

Questions About the First Person

Is our first person? Yes, our is one of the first person pronouns.

• Are you coming to our wedding?

Is you first person? No, you is a second person pronoun.

• You are a great friend.

Is we first person? Yes, we is a first person pronoun.

• We are great friends.
• We polled this group of political observers and activists each week prior to the Iowa caucuses to produce the USA TODAY GOP Power Rankings and went back to them this week to ask who is the best choice for Trump’s running mate. – USA Today

Is my first person? Yes, my is a first person pronoun.

• My glasses are broken.

Is they first person? No, they is a third person pronoun.

• They can’t find parking.
• For frugal travelers, there are some smart alternatives if they are willing to do a bit of homework. – The New York Times

Is us first person? Yes, us is one of the first person pronouns.

• The president congratulated us.

Questions About the Second Person

• You are causing a scene.

Is they second person? No, they is a one of the third person pronouns.

• They are our neighbors.

Is we second person? No, we is one of the first person pronouns.

• We are going to get groceries.

Questions About the Third Person

Is their third person? Yes, their is a third person pronoun.

• Their hat is over there.

Is we third person? No, we is a first person pronoun.

• We are going to the beach.

Is our third person? No, our is a first person pronoun.

• This is our cake.

Is you third person? No, you is a second person pronoun.

• You are a nice person.

Is they third person? Yes, they is a third person pronoun.

• They are nice people.

Is he third person? Yes, he is one of the third person pronouns.

• He is a great man.
• Last week, he restated that he believes he deserves a maximum contract. – The Washington Post

Trick to Remember the Difference

Here are a few helpful memory tricks that always help me.

In the first person writing, I am talking about myself.

• I enjoy singing.

In the second person writing, I am talking to someone.

• You enjoy singing.

In the third person writing, I am talking about someone.

• He enjoys singing.

Summary: What is the First, Second, and Third Person Perspective?

Define first person: The definition of first person is the grammatical category of forms that designate a speaker referring to himself or herself. First person pronouns are I, we, me, us, etc.

Define second person: The definition of second person is the grammatical category of forms that designates the person being addressed. Second person pronouns are you, your, and yours.

Define third person: The definition of third person is the grammatical category of forms designating someone other than the speaker. The pronouns used are he, she, it, they, them, etc.

If this article helped you understand the differences between the three main English points of view, you might find our other article on English grammar terms helpful.

You can see our full list of English grammar terms on our grammar dictionary .

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• Writing Tips

Writing Tips: When to Use the Second Person

5-minute read

• 18th June 2020

Of all the grammatical persons, second person may be the most underappreciated. But what is the second person exactly? And when should you use it in your writing ? In this blog post, we offer some suggestions.

What Is the Second Person?

In basic terms, grammatical person is how we tell the difference between the person speaking (i.e., the first person), the person being spoken to (i.e., the second person), and everything else (i.e., the third person). We can see this in the types of personal pronouns someone uses in their writing:

First Person: I am going home.

Second Person: You are going home.

Third Person: She is going home.

As shown above, the second person uses pronouns like “you” and “yours.” You can thus use it to address the listener or reader directly.

The second person is quite rare in formal and creative writing, where the first person and third person are far more common. But there are some cases where using it can enhance your writing, as we will discuss below.

Instructions and Recipes

If you are writing directions or instructions for something, the second person will help ensure clarity. This is particularly true when listing steps in a process. For instance, you might see it used in a recipe:

To make our apple and cinnamon cake:

• Pre-heat the oven to 350°F (200°C).
• Line a cake tin and grease the bottom.
• Melt the butter in a large pan.
• Beat the egg until it is frothy.
• Mix in the caster sugar…

Here, we offer simple, concise instructions addressed directly to the reader. Note that the “you” above is implicit (i.e., we are addressing the reader in the imperative , but we do not use the word “you”).

If we were to rewrite this in the third person, though, it would say:

• The oven should be pre-heated to 350°F (200°C).
• A cake tin should be lined and the bottom greased.
• The butter should be melted in a large pan.
• The egg should be beaten until it is frothy.
• The caster sugar should be mixed in…

In this case, we do not address the reader directly, focusing instead on the what needs to be done to the equipment and ingredients. But the result is longer and less clear, so you can see why most recipes don’t do this!

Advertising and Copy Writing

You will also see the second person used a lot in copy writing and advertising. This is because addressing the reader helps to create a personal connection. We do this in our blog posts, as you may have noticed!

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This is important in advertising as it helps brands connect with customers. We see this in slogans that encourage readers to act or think in a certain way, such as “Have It Your Way” (Burger King) or “Think Different” (Apple).

Some adverts also pose questions in the second person:

Do you want to lose weight fast and make £££ from home?

The aim is to project a personal relationship with customers: i.e., to address each reader as an individual whose needs your company can meet.

Persuasive Writing and Speeches

The second person is also common in persuasive writing and speeches, especially when the aim is to directly convince the audience of something.

As with advertising, this is because the second person helps to create a connection with an audience: e.g., I’m not just talking about how recycling is good for the environment; I’m talking about how you can make a difference.

However, there are two provisos to note here:

• The second person can seem accusatory (e.g., if we were talking about some negative behavior, such as a prejudice, saying “you” too much could seem like we’re accusing our reader of the behavior in question).
• Using “you” too much can create a divide between the author/speaker and the audience, which may seem like you are speaking down to them.

Thus, the plural first person (e.g., we , us ) is a better choice in some cases.

Lyrics and Literature

Finally, we should look at the second person in creative writing. It is quite common in poetry and song lyrics , for instance, which are often addressed to a “you” (either the reader themselves or an imagined interlocutor).

The second person is also useful for creative works in which the reader is the protagonist, such as text-based video games or choose-your-own-adventure stories, where the “you” is the player.

More rarely, authors will write part of or even an entire novel in the second person . The aim here is to create a strong connection between the narrator and the reader (i.e., to make it as if they are reading about themselves). However, it is a challenging technique and not suitable for every story.

Whatever you’re writing though, don’t forget to have it proofread !

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Point of View in Academic Writing

Point of view is the perspective from which an essay is written. The following chart lists both the personal pronouns and their possessive forms used with these points of view:

When choosing appropriate point of view for academic or formal writing, consider the type and purpose of the assignment.

First Person

First-person point of view is used to write stories/narratives or examples about personal experiences from your own life. Note the following paragraph:

Several people have made a lasting impression on me . I remember one person in particular who was significant to me . Dr. Smith, my high school English teacher, helped my family and me through a difficult time during my junior year. We appreciated her care, kindness, and financial help after the loss of our home in a devastating fire.

Note : Academic writing often requires us to avoid first-person point of view in favor of third-person point of view, which can be more objective and convincing. Often, students will say, “ I think the author is very convincing.” Taking out I makes a stronger statement or claim: “The author is very convincing.”

Second Person

Second-person point of view, which directly addresses the reader, works well for giving advice or explaining how to do something. A process analysis paper would be a good choice for using the second-person point of view, as shown in this paragraph:

In order to prepare microwave popcorn, you will need a microwave and a box of microwave popcorn which you’ve purchased at a grocery store. First of all, you need to remove the popcorn package from the box and take off the plastic wrap. Next, open your microwave and place the package in the center with the proper side up. Then set your microwave for the suggested number of minutes as stated on the box. Finally, when the popcorn is popped, you’re ready for a great treat.

Note : Academic writing generally avoids second-person point of view in favor of third-person point of view. Second person can be too casual for formal writing, and it can also alienate the reader if the reader does not identify with the idea.

Replacing You

In academic writing, sometimes "you" needs to be replaced with nouns or proper nouns to create more formality or to clarify the idea. Here are some examples:

Third Person

Third-person point of view identifies people by proper noun (a given name such as Shema Ahemed) or noun (such as teachers, students, players, or doctors ) and uses the pronouns they, she, and he . Third person also includes the use of one, everyone, and anyone. Most formal, academic writing uses the third person. Note the use of various third-person nouns and pronouns in the following:

The bosses at the company have decided that employees need a day of in-house training. Times have been scheduled for everyone . Several senior employees will be required to make five-minute presentations. One is not eager to speak in front of others since he’s very shy. Another one , however, is anxious to relate their expertise. The variation in routine should provide an interesting day for all people concerned.

Third Person Pronouns: Gender-Fair Use of Language and Singular “They”

In the past, if you wanted to refer to one unnamed person, you used the masculine pronoun: If a person is strong, he will stand up for himself . Today, you should avoid the automatic use of the masculine pronoun because it is considered sexist language.

Also avoid perpetuating gender stereotypes by assigning a particular gendered pronoun: A doctor should listen to his patients. A nurse should listen to her patients . These examples make assumptions that doctors are men and nurses are women, which is a sexist stereotype.

Instead, use the pronouns they or them to refer to a person whose gender is undisclosed or irrelevant to the context of the usage: If a person is strong, they will stand up for themselves when they believe in something.

What is Second-Person Point of View in Literature?

Definition and best practices for using second-person POV in writing

Kathleen Finlay/Getty Images

• An Introduction to Punctuation
• Ph.D., Rhetoric and English, University of Georgia
• M.A., Modern English and American Literature, University of Leicester
• B.A., English, State University of New York

The second-person point of view uses the imperative mood and the pronouns you, your , and yours to address readers or listeners directly. While the second-person point of view is a rare stylistic choice for narrative voice in fiction, it does appear in letters, speeches, and other forms of nonfiction, including many types of business and technical writing.

Understanding and Usage of Second-Person POV

"Sin and Syntax" author Constance Hale offers these thoughts on why a second-person point of view works so well: "The second-person pronoun ( you ) lets the author hook the reader as if in conversation . Call it cozy. Call it confiding," she writes. " You is a favorite of the Plain English folks, who view it as an antidote to the stiff impersonality of legalese and urge bureaucrats to write as if speaking to the public."

As effective as second-person can be, however, there are some caveats to consider, especially when it comes to the tone of your writing. Novelist and guide-to-fiction-writing author Monica Wood cautions that writers must take care "not to let the 'you' character sound like an outtake from a Humphrey Bogart movie... The second person one can easily slip into hard-boiled detective mode: 'You approach the door. You knock. You turn the knob. You hold your breath.'" Wood says the best way to avoid this pitfall is to "[vary] your sentence constructions."

Second-Person POV in Advertising and Politics

Advertising is a medium in which the second-person point of view is frequently leveraged as a marketing tool. Advertisers employ specific language designed to mirror personal, rather than business relationships in an attempt to set off consumers' emotional triggers—vanity, fear, or even altruism—in order to create an urgent need to act (as in buy) in response.

Advertising copywriters often rely on second-person pronouns paired with the imperative voice to hammer a messages home, and routinely pepper their phrasing with contractions and colloquialisms to make copy sound as if it had been written in the persona of a peer or colleague, rather than by someone targeting a potential consumer. Here are just a few examples of this strategy:

• "For all you do, this Bud's for you."—Budweiser
• "Betcha Can't Eat Just One."—Lay's Potato Chips
• "Because You're Worth It.—L'Oréal Paris

Political campaigns turning to second-person for both exigence rhetoric and anti-rhetoric aimed at voters' deep-seated beliefs and sympathies—as well as their outrage, prejudices, and frustrations—is nothing new. Back in 1888, Ulysses S. Grant 's presidential campaign slogan was “Vote as You Shot.”

Second-Person Point of View, Example I

" You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go." —From "Oh, the Places You’ll Go!" by Dr. Seuss

Second-Person Point of View, Example II

"When you yourself put words on paper, remember that the most damning revelation you can make about yourself is that you do not know what is interesting and what is not. Don’t you yourself like or dislike writers mainly for what they choose to show you or make you think about? Did you ever admire an empty-headed writer for his or her mastery of the language? No. So your own winning literary style must begin with interesting ideas in your head. Find a subject you care about and which you in your heart feel others should care about." —From "How to Write With Style" by Kurt Vonnegut

Second-Person Point of View, Example III

"Consider what you could do with a chip in your ​head that linked directly to the Internet: Within milliseconds, you could retrieve just about any piece of information. And with the collective knowledge of the Web at your disposal, you could quickly fill in your brain’s normal memory gaps—no one would ever guess you slept through that economics seminar." —From "Brain Hacking" by Maria Konnikova in the Atlantic , June 2015 

Second-Person Point of View, Example IV

" You are a sculptor. You climb a great ladder; you pour grease all over a growing longleaf pine. Next, you build a hollow cylinder like a cofferdam around the entire pine, and grease its inside walls. You climb your ladder and spend the next week pouring wet plaster into the cofferdam, over and inside the pine. You wait; the plaster hardens. Now open the walls of the dam, split the plaster, saw down the tree, remove it, discard, and your intricate sculpture is ready: this is the shape of part of the air." —From "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek" by Annie Dillard

• Hale, Constance. "Sin and Syntax: How to Craft Wickedly Effective Prose." Random House. 2001
• Wood, Monica. "Description." Writer's Digest Books. 1995
• Gibson, Walker. "Persona: A Style Study for Readers and Writers." Random House. 1969
• First-Person Point of View
• A Guide to All Types of Narration, With Examples
• Third-Person Point of View
• Point of View in Grammar and Composition
• What Is Literary Journalism?
• Mimesis Definition and Use
• Synathroesmus: When Words Pile Up
• Definition and Examples of Narratives in Writing
• Stylistics and Elements of Style in Literature
• What Is The Speech Act Theory: Definition and Examples
• Usage and Examples of a Rebuttal
• What Is the Second Persona?
• revision (composition)
• Definition and Examples of Allusion
• What Is Rhetorical Irony?

Point of View: It's Personal

What to Know The point of view of a story determines who is telling it and the narrator's relationship to the characters in the story. In first person point of view the narrator is a character in the story telling it from their perspective. In third person point of view the narrator is not part of the story and the characters never acknowledge the narrator's presence. Less common than first and third is second person point of view. In second person point of view the reader is part of the story. The narrator describes the reader's actions, thoughts, and background using "you."

It's all about how you look at it.

When you tell a story, an important thing to choose is the point of view that the story should take. Point of view determines who tells the story, as well as the relationship that the narrator has to the characters in the story. A story can have a much different feel depending on who is doing the telling.

The main points of view are first person and third person, with second person appearing less frequently but still common enough that it gets studied in writing classes. These are also the terms used to distinguish the personal pronouns. The pronouns I and we are first-person pronouns; they refer to the self. The pronoun you , used for both singular and plural antecedents, is the second-person pronoun, the person who is being addressed. The third person pronouns— he , she , it , they —refer to someone or something being referred to apart from the speaker or the person being addressed. Narratives are often identified as first, second, or third person based on the kinds of pronouns they utilize.

First Person Point of View

In first-person narration, the narrator is a person in the story, telling the story from their own point of view. The narration usually utilizes the pronoun I (or we , if the narrator is speaking as part of a group). The character who tells the story might be in the middle of the action or more of a character who observes the action from the outer limits, but in either case you are getting that character’s recounting of what happens.

It also means that impressions and descriptions are colored by that character’s opinions, mood, past experiences, or even their warped perceptions of what they see and hear.

There was no possibility of taking a walk that day. We had been wandering, indeed, in the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning; but since dinner (Mrs. Reed, when there was no company, dined early) the cold winter wind had brought with it clouds so sombre, and a rain so penetrating, that further outdoor exercise was now out of the question. I was glad of it: I never liked long walks, especially on chilly afternoons: dreadful to me was the coming home in the raw twilight, with nipped fingers and toes, and a heart saddened by the chidings of Bessie, the nurse, and humbled by the consciousness of my physical inferiority to Eliza, John, and Georgiana Reed. — Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre , 1847

In Jane Eyre , the narration is provided by the story’s title character, a governess. The information shared comes from her memories and impressions—of the weather, her knowledge of Mrs. Reed’s dining habits, and her dread at receiving a lecture from Nurse Bessie. We are likewise shielded from information that Jane doesn’t know.

Many classic works of fiction feature characters made memorable by their first-person voices: The Catcher in the Rye (Holden Caulfield), The Handmaid's Tale (Offred), or To Kill a Mockingbird (Scout Finch). In some stories, such as in F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby , the first person narrator (Nick Carraway) is an observer of the character around whom the story is centered (Jay Gatsby).

Second Person

Second-person narration is a little-used technique of narrative in which the action is driven by a character ascribed to the reader, one known as you . The reader is immersed into the narrative as a character involved in the story. The narrator describes what "you" do and lets you into your own thoughts and background. The most well-known piece of fiction that employs second-person narration might be Jay McInerney’s novel Bright Lights, Big City .

At the subway station you wait fifteen minutes on the platform for a train. Finally a local, enervated by graffiti, shuffles into the station. You get a seat and hoist a copy of the New York Post. The Post is the most shameful of your several addictions. — Jay McInerney, Bright Lights, Big City , 1984

You will also find second-person narration used in the "Choose Your Own Adventure" style of books popular with younger readers, in which readers determine where the story goes by which page they turn to next. Allowing the reader to "be" the central character in the story provides an immersive reading experience, enhancing what is at stake for the character and reader.

Third Person Point of View

In third-person narration, the narrator exists outside the events of the story, and relates the actions of the characters by referring to their names or by the third-person pronouns he, she, or they.

Third-person narration can be further classified into several types: omniscient, limited, and objective.

Third Person Omniscient

Omniscient means "all-knowing," and likewise an omniscient narrator knows every character’s thoughts, feelings, and motivations even if that character doesn’t reveal any of those things to the other characters.

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott serves as a good example of third-person omniscient narration:

"Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents," grumbled Jo, lying on the rug. "It's so dreadful to be poor!" sighed Meg, looking down at her old dress. "I don't think it's fair for some girls to have plenty of pretty things, and other girls nothing at all," added little Amy, with an injured sniff. "We've got Father and Mother, and each other," said Beth contentedly from her corner. The four young faces on which the firelight shone brightened at the cheerful words, but darkened again as Jo said sadly, "We haven't got Father, and shall not have him for a long time." She didn't say "perhaps never," but each silently added it, thinking of Father far away, where the fighting was. — Louisa May Alcott, Little Women , 1868

The story is not told from the point of view of Meg, Jo, Beth, or Amy, but from someone who is observing the four sisters as they talk to one another. Each character is therefore referred to by their names or the third-person pronoun she . The narrator does not exist as a character in the story, and the girls do not acknowledge the narrator’s presence.

However, the narrator is omniscient, which means that they know what the characters are thinking. This is demonstrated in the last line of the excerpt, when the girls silently ponder the thought of their father never returning from the war.

Third Person Limited

In third-person limited narration, the narrator still exists outside the events of the story, but does not know the motivations or thoughts of all the characters. Rather, one character is the driver of the story, and the reader is given a closer peek into that character’s psyche than the others.

J. K. Rowling utilizes third-person limited narration in the Harry Potter novels. Even though the narrator is not Harry, and Harry is referred to as 'he,' the reader is allowed into Harry's thoughts—what he is wondering without saying out loud. We are also, like Harry, left uncertain about what other characters are thinking:

Three days later, the Dursleys were showing no sign of relenting, and Harry couldn't see any way out of his situation. He lay on his bed watching the sun sinking behind the bars on the window and wondered miserably what was going to happen to him. What was the good of magicking himself out of his room if Hogwarts would expel him for doing it? Yet life at Privet Drive had reached an all-time low. Now that the Dursleys knew they weren't going to wake up as fruit bats, he had lost his only weapon. Dobby might have saved Harry from horrible happenings at Hogwarts, but the way things were going, he'd probably starve to death anyway. — J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets , 1999

Third-Person Objective

In third-person objective narration, the narrator reports the events that take place without knowing the motivations or thoughts of any of the characters. We know little about what drives them until we hear them speak or observe their actions. The resulting tone is often matter-of-fact, not colored by any opinions or commentary, nor of knowledge of what takes place outside the scene.

The people of the village began to gather in the square, between the post office and the bank, around ten o'clock; in some towns there were so many people that the lottery took two days and had to be started on June 25th. But in this village, where there were only about three hundred people, the whole lottery took less than two hours, so it could begin at ten o'clock in the morning and still be through in time to allow the villagers to get home for noon dinner. — Shirley Jackson, "The Lottery," 1948

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Writing with artificial intelligence, point of view.

Table of Contents

What Is Point of View?

In writing, point of view refers to whether the writing takes on a singular or plural perspective in either 1st person, 2nd person, or 3rd person.

• First person is the perspective of the writer; 1st person uses words like “I,” “my,” “me,” or “we.”
• 2nd-person is the perspective of the reader being directly addressed by the writer; 2nd person uses words like “you,” “your,” or “us.” ; and
• 3rd-person is the perspective of a different party who is neither writer nor reader. 3rd person uses words like “she,” “his,” or “they.”

Point of view can typically be identified by which pronouns are used. See the chart below for a quick summary.

Related concepts: Pronouns , Perspective , First-Person Point of View , Second-Person Point of View , Third-Person Point of View

Why Does Point of View Matter?

Point of view can impact how a reader experiences a piece of writing in a wide range of ways. A writer’s choice of point of view can impact the level of formality of a piece of writing, and it can also impact how a reader feels about both the writer and the topic. Choosing to use the first person pronouns “we” and “us,” for instance, might make a reader feel in league with the writer, but in another rhetorical situation it can make readers see the writer as unserious or subjective. In fiction, a writer’s choice of point of view means deciding through whose eyes readers see a story, which in turn impacts just about every other choice a writer will make, from which information readers will get, to how they will perceive other characters and events.

How Do You Choose a Particular Point of View?

Point of view is

• a stylistic choice–i.e., choice based on the rhetor’s desired Rhetorical Stance.
• Genres tend to have very specific guidelines for point of view.
• In academic writing, e.g., writers are generally expected to use 3rd-person most of the time, with the occasional exception for 1st person if it is necessary. Using 2nd person is discouraged.

Different points of view can be applied to different writing purposes. There are far too many reasons to choose a point of view to list them all here. This list provides three common uses for the various points of view:

Common uses of 1st person

• Memoirs. Memoirs are all about someone’s personal experiences, so memoir authors use I frequently to describe what has happened to them and how they felt about it.
• Certain academic disciplines . Some academic disciplines, like women’s studies and rhetoric and composition, value the inclusion of personal experience as research material, so scholars will use I and we in their work.

Common uses of 2nd person

• Directions and Self-help books. Self-help books aim to improve their readers in some way, so the authors use you to speak directly to those readers and prompt them to reflect on themselves or take action.
• Advertisements. Advertisements target specific audiences in order to make sales, and the use of you (e.g. “Do you need cash fast?”) can prompt a viewer to identify with the ad’s target audience.

Common uses of 3rd person

• Quotes. When relaying quotations from other speakers or writers, authors will identify the source of the quotation in 3rd person, as in “He wrote that…”
• News stories. Journalism generally strives to impart objective information. By using only 3rd person, journalism avoids the overly personal tone of I and you.

Here are the common ways third person is used in an academic paper:

Note: While the above pronouns represent the third person, instead of using it , that , these , those or this , specific words or phrases will better help readers follow the writer’s logic.

How To Edit for Point of View

To identify ineffective uses of point of view, 1) identify the various points of view in your writing; and 2) decide if the points of view achieve their purpose and will not inadvertently alienate the reader.

1. Identify the various points of view in a piece of writing.

Ex: The American public is underinformed about important news from other countries. When you only watch local cable news or get your news from American websites, you miss out on reading about events like the Arab Spring and the tsunami in Japan.

In this example, the first sentence has a subject in 3rd-person point of view, the American public. The second sentence’s use of you gives it a 2nd-person point of view.

2. Decide if the points of view achieve their purpose and will not inadvertently alienate the reader.

In the first sentence, 3rd-person point of view achieves the purpose of identifying who the writer thinks is underinformed: the American public. In the second sentence, though, it is unclear what purpose the 2nd-person you is intended to achieve. Why is the writer speaking directly to me, the reader? Moreover, the writer risks alienating me by seeming to assume that I am definitely uninformed. How (potentially) offensive!

How can you correct an unnecessary shift in point of view?

• In a passage where an unnecessary shift has been noted, go through and highlight each of the point of view words.
• Change the point of view of the inconsistent pronouns to align them with the primary point of view that has already been established.
• Reread the passage aloud and listen for consistency in point of view.

Let’s look at an example:

• Even though he believed weight loss was possible, you do not know how hard it can be until you try to lose a few pounds.
• Even though he believed weight loss was possible, he did not know how hard it would be until he tried to lose a few pounds.

How do you change first or second person to third person?

Here is a table that shows several common instances of first or second person in essays and some examples of how to revise to the third person.

Look at the following lines and determine how you might revise them so that they remove the pronoun “you” or define the pronoun “we”:

• You can understand what it’s like to have a stack of papers to grade and only two days to do it.
• We now know that cigarettes can cause various types of cancer.
• I would like you to understand that not all students are lazy.
• We believe that gay marriage is not immoral or harmful to the American family; as such, we argue that it should be legalized.
• Doughnuts are really harmful to our health, so we should stop ingesting them.
• If you would only give reading a try, you might actually enjoy it.
• Subliminal messages enter our psyches on a daily basis.
• As a feminist, I believe that women should receive pay that is equal to that of their male coworkers.

Recommended Readings

First person.

• The First Person
• Using First Person in an Academic Essay: When Is It Okay?

Second Person

•   Understanding Second Person Point-of-View: Wizard Activity

Related Articles:

First-person point of view, second-person point of view, third-person point of view, recommended.

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Second Person

What is second person.

• I am speaking to you about her .

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"Second Person" Explained

Second person in grammar, examples of second person pronouns in different cases, first, second, and third person pronouns, why the second person is important, video lesson.

• The teacher is speaking to you .
• The policeman is looking at you .
• You are a star!
• First person : "I" and "we"
• Second person: "you"
• Third person : "he/she/it" and "they"

(Reason 1) Be mindful of the difference between "yourself" and "yourselves."

(Reason 3) The subject of an order is "you."

• Call me if you need help.
• [You] Call me if you need help.

(Reason 3) Understanding the person categories is useful for learning a foreign language.

• "Myself" is not a posh version of "me." (You can't use "myself" after an imperative verb.)

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Scholarly Voice: Second-Person Point of View

Second-person point of view.

Generally, it is best to avoid second person pronouns in scholarly writing because they remove the distance between the reader and the writer.  Instead, try to use first or third person pronouns to enhance clarity.  Most Walden programs and APA (2020) allow the appropriate use of first person . (See APA 7, Section 4.16 for more information.)

Here are a few examples.

Paragraph using second person:

Fire safety is important for everyone to learn. You have to evaluate if you would be prepared to face an emergency fire situation. In order to be prepared, you must be familiar with the emergency exits as well as the building's fire safety plan.

Paragraph revised to avoid second person:

Fire safety is important for everyone to learn. A resident must evaluate if he or she would be prepared to face an emergency first situation. In order to be prepared, residents must be familiar with the emergency exits as well as the building's fire safety plan.

Inappropriate use of the first person:

I found the sources to all cover the same topic of workplace bullying. I then surveyed 60 people to find out if the same theory applied to my own workplace.

Appropriate use of the first person:

The sources all covered the topic of workplace bullying. I surveyed 60 people to find out if the same theory applied to my own workplace.

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Third-person Point of View: Definition, Types, Examples

• Tags: Fiction , Fiction Writing

Do you want to make your writing expansive and engaging? Use the third-person point of view to achieve this by stepping outside a character’s head. Include as many viewpoints, angles, and plots as possible to offer readers a riveting narrative. 

In this article, we will discuss the concept of writing in the third person. This perspective allows you to enjoy creative liberties when writing about varied emotions, events, motives, plots, scenes, and characters. Read on as we explore how to write in the third-person point of view with examples. 

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What is the third-person point of view? 

The third-person point of view is a storytelling method where the narrator steps outside a story to narrate from various angles and perspectives. The purpose is to cover several relevant aspects of the story to spin a gripping tale. Instead of narrating the story through the eyes of a single character, the narrator relays events using third-person pronouns like “he”, “she”, and “they”. 

For readers, stories written in the third person bring anticipation, emotion, fear, agitation, excitement, and intrigue, among other simple and complex feelings. This perspective opens up a range of possibilities for writers, too. If you are keen on exploring different writing approaches to suit your story as a writer, this is the POV to choose. 

Here are some examples of writing in the third-person point of view:

• Mariah walked down the path, feeling the warmth of the sun on her face.
• The researchers conducted a study on the effects of climate change on coastal communities.
• He gazed out the window, wondering if she would ever return.

Types of third-person point of view

Selecting a suitable point of view significantly impacts how your story is perceived and understood by readers. In the third-person POV, the narrator looks at a story from the outside. The third-person point of view definition says that this approach offers readers a highly versatile and comprehensive perspective. 

There are three primary types of third-person point of view: third-person limited, third-person omniscient, and third-person objective. Understanding these types can help you decide how best to present your plot and portray your characters to engage your audience effectively.

1. Third-person limited point of view

The third-person limited POV talks about the experiences, emotions, and thoughts of a single character, or a few characters, while still narrating the story from an external standpoint. It gives the narrator the freedom to take the story in different directions.

The narrator does not know about the inner thoughts and motivations of all the characters in the story. So, it is a restricted but flexible viewpoint because a perspective shift is possible. Here is an example: 

“David stood at the edge of the cliff, his heart pounding as he stared down at the churning sea below. Fear gripped him, but he knew he had to jump. The memories of his father’s daring adventures flooded his mind. With a deep breath, he closed his eyes and stepped off the edge.”

2. Third-person omniscient point of view

In the third-person omniscient POV, the narrator knows everything about all the characters and events in a story. This narrator can access the experiences and emotions of every character in the story. 

This perspective provides an all-round view, where the entire story comes alive as a cohesive piece. Here is an example:

“Across the busy city, Anna hurried through the crowded streets, clutching a letter in her hand. Little did she know, just a block away, Daniel waited anxiously at a café, hoping she would arrive soon. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to both of them, a storm was brewing on the horizon, threatening to disrupt their carefully laid plans.”

3. Third-person objective point of view

In the third-person objective POV, the narrator reports events with an impersonal approach. They do not dive deep into the inner thoughts or feelings of the characters while narrating the story. 

This perspective provides an unbiased and detached view, where happenings or ongoings are only recorded from the outside. Here is an example:

“The town square buzzed with activity. Vendors called out to passersby, showing them their colorful wares. Children chased each other around the fountain, their laughter echoing through the air. A dog sniffed at scraps of food left behind on a bench, its tail wagging eagerly.”

How to write in the third-person point of view?

Writing in the third-person point of view involves narrating the story from an external perspective. Character names and their respective pronouns are used in such a narration. The narrator describes the events, feelings, and emotions without being on the scene to experience them. Also, the narrator describes the characters, or looks at them, without being one of them. 

Depending on the chosen type—limited, omniscient, or objective—the narrator typically provides varying levels of insight into the characters’ lives and the events surrounding them. Consistency is key here, as is providing rich descriptions through dialogue . 

Adequate, timely, and effective character development is crucial to offer readers an immersive reading experience. For example, in the Harry Potter series, JK Rowling built an intricate world of magic, friendship, and thrill by writing in the third-person limited point of view. She revealed plot twists and secrets gradually, and as Harry gathered more information about his life, so did the readers. 

Tips for writing effectively using the third-person point of view

Here are some tips to help you write in the third-person point of view: 

• Choose the POV: Select the right POV type based on your storytelling needs. Depending on what and how much information you wish to reveal at different points, select a narration style: third-person limited, third-person omniscient, or third-person objective. 
• Use third-person point-of-view pronouns: Use “he”, “she”, “they”, “him”, “her”, “them”, etc., along with character names to maintain the third-person perspective and establish a strong narrative. 
• Stay consistent: Stick to the chosen perspective throughout the narrative. Avoid switching between characters’ thoughts abruptly.
• Focus on character development: Use actions, dialogues, and conversations to reveal information about the characters in your story.
• Show, don’t tell: Describe events and actions to show how characters feel, emote, and think instead of directly stating how a character feels. “ Show, don’t tell ” is a powerful way to achieve this. 
• Transition wisely: If you need to transition from one perspective to another, ensure it is done smoothly to avoid confusion and disconnect. Scene breaks are a good way to do this.

Third-person point of view in fiction and nonfiction 

In fiction, the third-person point of view can be used to weave a story that creates fascination, mystery, intrigue, excitement, fear, and suspense, among other things. While the first-person point of view and second-person point of view are popular forms of writing, the third-person POV appeals to many old and contemporary fiction writers. 

Let us see some examples of the third-person point of view in this section. 

• Third-person limited:

Stacy walked through the bustling market, her thoughts drifting to the conversation she had overheard earlier.

Readers only have information about Stacy. They will not know what she overheard unless the narrator chooses to divulge. 

• Third-person omniscient: 

Across town, Shaun was preparing for the meeting, unaware that Mylee had already made up her mind about confronting him.

Readers become aware of Shaun and Mylee’s movements and actions in one go.

• Third-person objective: 

The clock struck midnight as the car screeched to a halt outside the mansion. Lights flickered on in the windows on the upper floors.

The above sentence has a matter-of-fact tone; it does not evoke any emotions. Even if a dead body were to be dropped out of this car later, the narration does not build any suspense or anticipation at this point. 

In nonfiction, this POV is used to detach from events, emotions, and opinions. It is commonly seen in news pieces, reports, academic writing , biographies, etc. Some examples of such writing are: 

• News report:

The CEO announced plans to expand operations into Asia next quarter.

• Academic report: 

The study examined the correlation between exercise, diet, and cardiovascular health in the nation’s youth.

• Biography: 

He was born in a small town in 1948 and grew up dreaming of becoming a musician.

Popular instances of third-person point-of-view writing

In this section, we have listed some well-known examples of writing in the third person in the form of excerpts from novels. Let us know in the comments which one is your favorite! 

Isn’t it interesting that the third-person POV can drastically change how you communicate with your audience? 

Try writing your next book, blog , or article in the third person and see if this strategy works for you. If you need professional assistance, we can help! Explore PaperTrue’s editing and proofreading services for more information on what our editors can do for you. 

You might also find the following articles useful and interesting: 

• How to Write a Book Title (15 Expert Tips + Examples)
• 100 Novel and Book Ideas to Start Your Book Writing Journey
• Book Title Generators: Top 10 Book Name Generators of 2024
• On Being Tense about Tense: Present Tense Narratives in Novels
• Top 10 Screenplay & Scriptwriting Software (Free & Paid)

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the advantages of using the third-person point of view, which third-person point-of-view pronouns are not used in writing, why is the third-person point of view important in academic writing.

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Can a Relationship Between Two Type A Personalities Work?

Is Somebody Gonna Match My Match My Control Freak?

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Why It Will Work

Why it might not work, how to make it work.

Sparks can certainly fly when two type A personalities find themselves falling for each other. But are those sparks the perfect amount for a nice romantic fire, or will they end up setting the whole relationship ablaze? Type A people are often hardworking perfectionists and detail-oriented go-getters with high standards who won’t settle for anything but the best. What happens when two such people get together?

“These individuals often thrive in structured, goal-oriented environments and may exhibit a sense of urgency in both their personal and professional lives,” says Ozan Toy, MD, MPH ,  chief medical officer at Telapsychiatry. “Type A personalities are relatively common, particularly in high-stress professions such as senior executives, doctors, lawyers, and professors.”

With a double dose of perfectionism, this love story could be epic—or epically intense. Let’s dive into whether this power couple can make it work.

Rachel Marmor, LMHC

They often share a deep drive for achievement, a love for challenge, and a passion for excellence. This can create a relationship filled with excitement, mutual respect, and shared goals.

People with type A personalities are often highly successful, even if they may experience some burnout or unnecessary self-criticism along the way. They’re super driven, competitive, and often excel in whatever they put their mind to (because they’d stop short of nothing less than perfection). When two Type A personalities come together, it can make for a seriously impressive power couple dynamic.

“A relationship between two Type A personalities is like a dance between two powerful energies. Each partner brings strength, determination, and a clear sense of direction,” says Rachel Marmor, LMHC , chief wellness officer at the PAIRS Foundation. “They often share a deep drive for achievement, a love for challenge, and a passion for excellence. This can create a relationship filled with excitement, mutual respect, and shared goals .”

Another benefit of two type A personalities being together is that there’s a sense of shared ambition that can be extremely powerful. As long as both parties are on the same page about a specific goal—large or small—they can accomplish it quickly and effectively.

“Oftentimes, people can have different life goals which can lead to conflict in a relationship. However if both partners are highly motivated and driven then it is likely they will find joy in sharing a desire for achievement,” Toy says.

He adds, “The relationship can also be filled with excitement and activity, as both individuals are typically energetic, focused, and goal-oriented.” Research shows that this ability to achieve goals can have positive mental health effects.

Every relationship experiences natural ebbs and flows, but when two type A personalities come together things can get a bit fiery. Each has their own set of deep-seated passions and goals, and when these aren’t aligned, then tension and conflict can arise.

Power Struggles

Power struggles are a common issue between this pairing since both parties may feel the desire to lead the dance, set the pace, and steer the ship. “Their combined intensity can fuel a high-stress relationship, especially if both partners are impatient or too uptight,” Toy says. 

Competitiveness 

Type A personalities are naturally competitive, and that can bleed into the relationship. From minor situations (like playing a card game) to larger life goals, two type A people may end up competing with each other. This can become exhausting, but Toy says it can also breed resentment if one partner consistently outperforms the other.

When you pair a type A personality with someone who’s more laid-back , there’s going to be a natural pullback in intensity. However, combine two type A personalities and both may run at full speed ahead without another person there to say “Whoa, nellie.” (Studies have even found a correlation between poor heart health and type A personalities due to the stress they put on themselves. )

“To find no or poor balance is also common among A personality couples,” says Sofie Roos , a relationship therapist. “These relationships tend to lack sleep and have too little free time and too much working time which can lead to stress, burnout and mental health problems such as depression.”

It's important to recognize that while both partners are strong, the strength lies not just in leading but also in following.

Yes! Two type A personalities can absolutely thrive in a romantic relationship—it just takes some work—like any relationship. While the relationship dynamic between two type A personalities can be intense, it can also feel deeply fulfilling if both partners are aligned with life goals, adaptable, and willing to openly communicate .

“It's important to recognize that while both partners are strong, the strength lies not just in leading but also in following,” Marmor says. “The ability to step back, to allow the other person to take the lead at times, is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of deep respect and trust.”

She notes that when two Type A individuals are able to comfortably alternate between leading and following, they ultimately create a beautiful, balanced rhythm in their relationship. 

The issue is that these things don’t necessarily come naturally to type A folks, so it’s something they need to be intentional about. Meditation practices , routinely checking in with one another, and incorporating relaxation techniques and shared leisure time can all help a double type A relationship thrive. 

Wilmot MP, Haslam N, Tian J, Ones DS. Direct and conceptual replications of the taxometric analysis of type a behavior . Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2019;116(3):e12-e26. doi:10.1037/pspp0000195

Saadi W, Gorgi M, Fouel N, et al. Relationship between type A personality and coronary heart disease . Eur Psychiatry . 2022;65(Suppl 1):S374. doi:10.1192/j.eurpsy.2022.950

By Wendy Rose Gould Wendy Rose Gould is a lifestyle reporter with over a decade of experience covering health and wellness topics.